Charlatan

The year I worked at the Gap over Christmas was hellish. It has taken me about 15 years to heal.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

maleficent

I have never gotten over my years of retail service...

for the past 20 minutes, i've been hurling stale cashews at the bonehead in the next cube whos' been playing a barbra streisand christmas cd... it's not working - i hear an ouch occassionally but - it's not stopping the music...

I wonder if flaming post it notes hurled at him will get his attention and make the torture stop...

Christmas music = bad -- barbra streisand christmas music = lost my reason to live

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Brewmaniac

Last night I heard Silver Bells by Wilson Pickett it was dreadfull!

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"That's a joke... I say, that's a joke, son"

Charlatan

Nothing like being jewish on Christmas... Barbra just wants you to share in her pain.

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"My hands are on fire. Hands are on fire. Ain't got no more time for all you charlatans and liars."
- Old Man Luedecke

Redlemon

Actually, I think it is "'Zat you, Santa Claus?", which would reach back to Louis Armstrong. Buster may have covered it, I don't know.

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ratbastid

I haven't popped into this thread yet, because the Christmas Mood hadn't really struck me until this morning. Sorry for my later-than-usual weighing in on this subject!

First things first: redlemon! Don't ever let me catch you badmouthing Vince Guaraldi again! The man was a genius, and at least a thousand times hipper than any of us. It just so happens that I spent $1.99 this very morning to download the sheet music to "Christmas Time is Here". It's one of my very favorite Christmas songs. Dianna Krall's version is melancholy and moving and sweet, all at once. Very nice. I also very much like "The Christmas Song", a.k.a. "Chestnuts Roasting". But I'm a jazz dude at heart.

I may get flayed alive for this, but... IMO Sir Paul wasn't the stronger of the Beatle songwriters. John's "Happy Christmas (War is Over)" whips the crap out of "Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime". Paul's stuff is so plastic, you know? So cute and predictable and trite. "Wonderful Christmastime" may be the very pinnacle of McCartney ickyness--the song is about as authentic and heartfelt as a plastic christmas tree.

There are lots of great Christmas songs, but any of them can be drained of life and joy. "Silent Night" becomes deathly and dirgelike when slowed down to nothing by a mall choir.

Redlemon

Can I get a partial redemption if I say that "Linus and Lucy" kicks butt?
I've had to be that mall choir many times in my life. 9 out of my worst 10 musical experinces are related to singing Christmas concerts. The other one was "Convergence" by Neely Bruce.

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flamingdog

Try half-bricks? Or pieces of broken glass? Dogshit? That might seem harsh, but this is Barbra Streisand we're talking about.

When I was at the paper, they piped in the godawful local radio station. You could count on all the Christmas classics coming round at least once an hour. I can tell you now, you can't hang yourself with a mouse cord, no matter how hard you try.

Redlemon

My wife asked me to add "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas" to this list. If you've ever seen the musical from which this song comes (Meet Me In Saint Louis), you would know that this is actually a depressing song from the lowest emotional point in the show. But, people sing it as if it is supposed to be happy.

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Fly

does someone need a hug????




yup.........someone really needs a hug.

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BASTARD

SterlingStudios

Poppinjay

Or, The Plastic Ono Band.

Seriously, John more than negated his talent by marrying that... woman.

At least Paul has a, uh, leg up in that category.

I like Ringo. He's been quiet. I like that in former Beatles. Maybe he's dead too.

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I think the Apocalypse is happening all around us. We go on eating desserts and watching TV. I know I do. I wish we were more capable of sustained passion and sustained resistance. We should be screaming and what we do is gossip. -Lydia Millet

Lasereth

I'd just like to let you guys know that Jingle Bell Rock played 8 times on the radio yesterday on the same station from 8 AM to midnight. I've also developed another hatred: the "Rockin' around, the christmas tree, blah blah blah" song. I hate it as much as Jingle Bell Rock. I think I unconsciously hate ALL Christmas music, but these two definitely stand out.

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"A Darwinian attacks his theory, seeking to find flaws. An ID believer defends his theory, seeking to conceal flaws." -Roger Ebert

Stompy

All of them.

Sorry, but I'm not a fan of cheesy songs that get repeated incessantly year after year after year. They even try to be clever and have people like Jessica Simpson sing these songs, which actually makes it worse, but... THEY'RE STILL THE SAME SONG.

Oh, and did I mention they're incredibly CHEESY? No, more like.. corny, lame. Either way, they're not very good. *gag*

I honestly don't know how anyone can tolerate it after all of these years. Hell, I got sick of it when I was 11 or 12.

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I love lamp.

Suave

Negative. Ringo is currently a spokesman for one of those music collections, "Sounds of the 60s" or some bullshit like that.

My favourite Beatle would have to be (have been?) George Harrison.

Redlemon: The "happy" interpretation is probably because most people don't want to hear downer music on Christmas. Annoying music, yes. Sometimes godawful music, certainly. But downer? Never.

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"Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity opinions which differ from the prejudices of their social environment. Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions." - Albert Einstein

"Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something." - Plato