Messed up and Funny Christmas Songs
 

List em here! I only know of a couple..

Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer
The 12 Pains of Christmas
Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire



um.. should this be in the nonsense section? I wasn't sure honestly....

Walking' Round In Womens Underwear
Rudolph the Deep Throat Raindeer
I'll Be Stoned For Christmas
Cold Miser from the TV show Jack Frost.wav
Heat Miser from the TV show Jack Frost.wav
I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas by Elmo
There's something Stuck in the Chimney

I have to say the all-time favorite is grandma got runover.... i feel like for me it's the original.

One from good ol' Wierd Al

The Night Santa Went Crazy

Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys
For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys
When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death
Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath
From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo
Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye,
"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he'd been gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain

Well, the workshop is gone now, he decided to bomb it
Everywhere you'll find pieces of Cupid and Comet
And he tied up his helpers and he held the elves hostage
And he ground up poor Rudolph into reindeer sausage
He got Dancer and Prancer with an old German Luger
And he slashed up Dasher just like Freddy Krueger
And he picked up a flamethrower and he barbequed Blitzen
And he took a big bite and said, "It tastes just like chicken!"

The night Santa went crazy
The night Kris Kringle went nuts
Now you can't hardly walk around the North Pole
Without steppin' in reindeer guts

There's the National Guard and the F.B.I.
There's a van from the Eyewitness News
And helicopters circlin' 'round in the sky
And the bullets are flyin', the body count's risin'
And everyone's dyin' to know, oh Santa, why?
My my my my my my
You used to be such a jolly guy

Yes, Virginia, now Santa's doin' time
In a federal prison for his infamous crime
Hey, little friend, now don't you cry no more tears
He'll be out with good behavior in 700 more years
But now Vixen's in therapy and Donner's still nervous
And the elves all got jobs working for the postal service
And they say Mrs. Clause, she's on the phone every night
With her lawyer negotiating the movie rights

They're talkin' bout - the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nicholas flipped
Broke his back for some milk and cookies
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

Wo, the night Santa went crazy
The night St. Nick went insane
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal
Something finally must have snapped in his brain
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain

"Santa Claus is a Black Man" by AKim, on the "John Waters Christmas." I like it because it's a bit messed up and totally non-racial. Plus it sounds like that good old '70s R&B...yeah baby!

I love that song :lol:

There's sick but funny one that goes something like:

<I>"...his hair is a patchy and mangey brown, it's time to put Dasher down."</I>

I wish I knew what it was.

Good lord, where to start.

Anything by Bob Rivers. That would be Twisted Christmas, I am Santa Claus, More Twisted Christmas, Chipmunks Roasting On An Open Fire, and White Trash Christmas.

Or for compliation albums, try Dr. Demento Presents: The Greatest Christmas Novelty CD Of All Time and Holidays In Dementia.

I just got this forwarded to me. "I want a hippopotamus for Christmas"

http://www.minibite.com/christmas/hippo.htm

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...reighndeer.gif





Leroy, The Redneck Reindeer

Well, you've all heard about Rudolph and his nose,
But I'll tell you a Christmas tale that never has been told.
Well, you may think you've heard it all but you ain't heard yet.
About that crazy Christmas that the North pole can't forget.
Rudolph was under the weather, he had to call in sick.
So he got on the horn to his cousin Leroy, who lived out in the sticks.
He said: "Santa's really counting on me and I hate to pass the buck."
Leroy said "Hey I'm on my way," and he jumped in his pick-up truck.
When Leroy got to the North Pole all the reindeer snickered and laughed.
They'd never seen a deer in overalls and a John Deere Tractor hat.
But Santa stepped in and said: "Just calm down cause we've all got a job to do.
"And like it or not, Leroy's in charge, and he's gonna be leading you."
And it was Leroy, the red neck reindeer,
Hooked to the front of the sleigh.
Delivering toys to all the good ole boys and girls along the way.
He's just a down home party animal, two-stepping across the sky.
He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.
Before that night was over, Leroy had changed their tune.
He had them scootin' a hoof on every single roof, by the light of a neon moon.
Santa wrapped his bag with a Dixie flag, he was having the time of his life.
And you can hear him call Merry Christmas y'all, and to all of y'all a good night.
And it was Leroy, the red neck reindeer,
Hooked to the front of the sleigh.
Delivering toys to all the good ole boys and girls along the way.
He's just a down home party animal, two-stepping across the sky.
He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.
He mixed jingle bells with a rebel yell, and made history that night.
*****************


sorry Sue......i don't know how to throw the tune up eh.....

Afroman's whole Christmas CD... Jobe Bells.

anything from South Park ("Jew on Christmas", "Merry Fucking Christmas", etc.)

i saw daddy kissing santa claus...


ill be stoned for christmas

Nice. :)

I'm not much for funny Christmas songs, but this always gives me a chuckle when I hear it.

Merry-Motherfuckin' Christmas - Eazy-E

Santa Claus Ya Cunt - Kevin Bloody Wilson

Father Christmas by the KINKs

Quote:

Father Christmas Written by: Ray Davies Published by: Davray Music, Ltd. Lyrics: When I was small I believed in Santa Claus Though I knew it was my dad And I would hang up my stocking at Christmas Open my presents and I'd be glad But the last time I played Father Christmas I stood outside a department store A gang of kids came over and mugged me And knocked my reindeer to the floor They said: Father Christmas, give us some money Don't mess around with those silly toys. We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over We want your bread so don't make us annoyed Give all the toys to the little rich boys Don't give my brother a Steve Austin outfit Don't give my sister a cuddly toy We don't want a jigsaw or monopoly money We only want the real McCoy Father Christmas, give us some money We'll beat you up if you make us annoyed Father Christmas, give us some money Don't mess around with those silly toys But give my daddy a job 'cause he needs one He's got lots of mouths to feed But if you've got one, I'll have a machine gun So I can scare all the kids down the street Father Christmas, give us some money We got no time for your silly toys We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over We want your bread so don't make us annoyed Give all the toys to the little rich boys Have yourself a merry merry Christmas Have yourself a good time But remember the kids who got nothin' While you're drinkin' down your wine Father Christmas, give us some money We got no time for your silly toys Father Christmas, please hand it over We'll beat you up, so don't make us annoyed Father Christmas, give us some money Don't mess around with those silly toys We'll beat you up if you don't hand it over We want your bread, so don't make us annoyed Give all the toys to the little rich boys