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Old 04-10-2004, 08:32 PM   #1 (permalink)
Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side
 
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Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.
"Say baby do you wanna lay down by me"

TOMMY THE CAT

"I remember as it were a meal ago"

Said Tommy the Cat as he reeled back to clear whatever foreign matter may have nestled its way into his mighty throat.
Many a fat alley rat had met its demise while staring point blank down the cavernous barrel of this awesome prowling machine.
Truly a wonder of nature this urban predator.
Tommy the cat had many a story to tell,
But it was a rare occasion such as this that he did.

"She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit.
The aroma, the mean scent, was enough to arouse suspicion in even the oldest of Tigers that hung around the hot spot in those days.
The sight was beyond belief.
Many a head snapped for double - even triple - takes as this vivacious feline made her her way into the delta of the alleyway where the most virile of the young tabbys were known to hang out.

They hung in droves. Such a multitude of masculinity could only be found in one place...
And that was O'malley's Alley.

The air was thick with cat calls (no pun intended),
But not even a muscle in her neck did twitch as she sauntered up into the heart of the alley.
She knew what she wanted.
She was lookin' for that stud bull, the he cat.
And that was me.

Tommy the Cat is my name and I say unto thee...

"Say baby do you wanna lay down by me"




I love this tune. Tom Waits has such a cool way with words.
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Old 04-10-2004, 09:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Tom Waits is the man.

My personal favorite song of his is Step Right Up.... i can't find the lyrics anywhere though.

On the new Modest Mouse cd, Good News For People Who Love Bad News, there's a song called This Devil's Workday which sounds very heavily Waits-influenced (minus the signature Waits voice of course). It's very good.
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Old 04-10-2004, 09:26 PM   #3 (permalink)
In Your Dreams
 
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Location: City of Lights
You know that's a Primus song that Tom Waits "speaks" in, right?

That said, I love both Primus and Waits. I actually heard a random song by this techno artist (Rob Dougan) that must have been Waits influenced, as it sounded (almost) exactly like Waits.

Found it online (legally):
Here

Check out Drinking Song.
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Old 04-11-2004, 06:33 AM   #4 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
I <i>just</i> listened to this!

This is one of the best similies in modern music: "She came slidin' down the alleyway like butter drippin' off a hot biscuit."

Kinda Ray Chandler meets Aunt Jemimah.
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Old 04-11-2004, 06:35 AM   #5 (permalink)
Minion of the scaléd ones
 
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Location: Northeast Jesusland
Quote:
Originally posted by KWSN
My personal favorite song of his is Step Right Up.... i can't find the lyrics anywhere though.
<i><center>Step right up, step right up, step right up,
Everyone's a winner, bargains galore
That's right, you too can be the proud owner
Of the quality goes in before the name goes on
One-tenth of a dollar, one-tenth of a dollar, we got service after sales
You need perfume? we got perfume, how 'bout an engagement ring?
Something for the little lady, something for the little lady,
Something for the little lady, hmm
Three for a dollar
We got a year-end clearance, we got a white sale
And a smoke-damaged furniture, you can drive it away today
Act now, act now, and receive as our gift, our gift to you
They come in all colors, one size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills, you're tired of kitchen drudgery
Everything must go, going out of business, going out of business
Going out of business sale
Fifty percent off original retail price, skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it? how do we do it? volume, volume, turn up the volume
Now you've heard it advertised, don't hesitate
Don't be caught with your drawers down,
Don't be caught with your drawers down
You can step right up, step right up

That's right, it filets, it chops, it dices, slices,
Never stops, lasts a lifetime, mows your lawn
And it mows your lawn and it picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair, it gets rid of embarrassing age spots,
It delivers a pizza, and it lengthens, and it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been at large
under the chaise lounge for several weeks
And it plays a mean Rhythm Master,
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar, step right up, it's only a dollar, step right up

'Cause it forges your signature
If not completely satisfied, mail back unused portion of product
For complete refund of price of purchase
Step right up
Please allow thirty days for delivery, don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can live in it, live in it, laugh in it, love in it
Swim in it, sleep in it,
Live in it, swim in it, laugh in it, love in it
Removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets, that's right
And it entertains visiting relatives, it turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party?
Change your shorts, change your life, change your life
Change into a nine-year-old Hindu boy, get rid of your wife,
And it walks your dog, and it doubles on sax
Doubles on sax, you can jump back Jack, see you later alligator
See you later alligator
And it steals your car
It gets rid of your gambling debts, it quits smoking
It's a friend, and it's a companion,
And it's the only product you will ever need
Follow these easy assembly instructions it never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips, bust, thighs, chin, midriff,
Gives you dandruff, and it finds you a job, it is a job
And it strips the phone company free take ten for five exchange,
And it gives you denture breath
And you know it's a friend, and it's a companion
And it gets rid of your traveler's checks
It's new, it's improved, it's old-fashioned
Well it takes care of business, never needs winding,
Never needs winding, never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, the heartbreak of psoriasis,
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak, buddy,
C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
'Cause it's effective, it's defective, it creates household odors,
It disinfects, it sanitizes for your protection
It gives you an erection, it wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer?
It's a redeemable coupon, no obligation, no salesman will visit your home
We got a jackpot, jackpot, jackpot, prizes, prizes, prizes, all work guaranteed
How do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it, how do we do it
We need your business, we're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our going-out-of-business sale
Receive our free brochure, free brochure
Read the easy-to-follow assembly instructions, batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow, terms available,
Step right up, step right up, step right up
You got it buddy: the large print giveth, and the small print taketh away
Step right up, you can step right up, you can step right up
C'mon step right up
(Get away from me kid, you bother me...)
Step right up, step right up, step right up, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
Step right up, you can step right up, c'mon and step right up,
C'mon and step right up</center></i>

Of course, the lyrics change every time he sings it...
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Last edited by Tophat665; 04-11-2004 at 06:37 AM..
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Old 04-11-2004, 07:31 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Tophat, you are officially the man
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