ngdawg

Hah!! I think the same thing every time this song comes on the radio. That and the devil rocks a hell of a lot better than that Johnny kid.

Tophat665

You leave that long haired country boy alone, you hear? That's a fine little number, and I'll thank you not to forget it.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

naturist.boy

I loved Saddletramp and Fire On The Mountain. There are some great tunes on those albums. But when I heard Devil Went Down on Million Mile Reflections for the first time, I knew Charlie was ready for the county fair circuit.

Tophat665

I was thinking after I posted (distressingly familiar feeling, that), that looking for smart, witty lyrics in country music is probably more trouble than it's worth, although Rockabilly may be a different story (I would direct your attention to Exhibit A: Reverend Horton Heat, and specifically the ditty "Interracial Cowboy Homo Kind of Love").

So what I am saying is that The Devil Went Down to Georgia is not more nonsensical than any other country song, and a lot less than most. I realize that this is like a gold medal in the special olympics, but I think the objections to this tune are less to the lyrics and more to the country aesthetic behnd them.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Strange Famous

he told you once, you sons of bitches, he's the best there's ever been!

__________________
"Do not tell lies, and do not do what you hate,
for all things are plain in the sight of Heaven. For nothing
hidden will not become manifest, and nothing covered will remain
without being uncovered."

The Gospel of Thomas

speshul-k

For some reason anything radio friendly; rap, pop etc makes me cringe. Its like music for idiots. Its not even music!

Zodijackyl

That song is so bad that it goes full circle to being awesome.

Corpsefucking Art - Demented

Rabbits are raining in by backyard
but I have a femur collection indoors.
Finding femurs ain't easy
'cause rabbits rarely rain.


Some bands have bad enough names and album titles that I don't think I need to post the lyrics:

Carnivorous Vagina - Perverse With The Dead
Fecal Corpse - We Gangbanged Your Mom... AGAIN!
Funeral Rape - A Chainsaw In The Cunt
Your Kid's On Fire - Aught Six - A Necrodyssey
Zombie Death Stench - Here I Die... Zombified

MSD

What happens when a grindcore band lets their guitarist write lyrics?

Corpse, Flesh, Genitals by Nasum. Not just the title, it's also the lyrics in their entirety.

biznatch

Pretty much anything by U2.
-----Added 30/7/2008 at 03 : 40 : 36-----
Working Man was pretty good. I was reminded of Kafka because of some similar themes.
-----Added 30/7/2008 at 03 : 43 : 08-----
Also, the theme song to Walker, Texas Ranger.

And Amusement Park and Candy Shop by 50 Cent, two completely inter-replaceable, terribly stupid metaphors for sex.

I do have a soft spot for the DK Rap though:

__________________
Check it out: The Open Source/Freeware/Gratis Software Thread

Bill O'Rights

So, by "radio friendly", I assume that you mean sans the vulgarity? Music without vulgarity is not music?

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

guyy

I never thought Steve Miller was THAT bad, but he is responsible for this trashy little snippet:


ugh.

Now, the rest of the words to the song are OK as far as top 40 radio stuff goes, but this little bit is just horrid. Who can remember the rest after this?

Martian

Most of Rush's lyrics are written by Neil Peart. And they're not even close to the worst out there.They're a bit dense, and occasionally a bit clumsy. But there's much, much worse. Ho, there are depths deeper than even the most stout-hearted amongst have yet to imagine. They're a bit dense, and occasionally a bit clumsy. But there's much, much worse.

I'm wondering how we managed to get to the third page without a single mention of 'my lovely lady lumps.'

But I've always thought the most elegant bit of lyrical fuckery I ever heard was penned by none other than Sir Paul McCartney:

Lades and gentlemen, this is what happens when John goes away for the weekend. This is why I say John and George were the creative force of the Beatles. This is what happens when Paul is left to his own devices.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

guyy

I have already mentioned the Geddy Lee angle, but i haven't mentioned the "hey-guys-i-just-read-this-cool-book-by-ayn-rand politics yet. Yeesh! I'd almost rather listen to Yes records.

Tophat665

Mrs. Hat had this recommended her by one of her Spinning friends.
Man alive, that stinks. She tells me it's great because it's a rap/hip hop fusion. Apparently rap is not the worst music ever. It can be debased by the admixture of Country.

/ Going back to Classical now.
// What the Fugue?

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Nikilidstrom

Buckcherry - Too Drunk
I didn't think that it could get anyworse than Crazy Bitch, but they've outdone themsleves

I hit the bottle in the morning in the summer time
I quit my job cause it gets in the way
I find a party by the ocean buy the cheapest wine,
tell my friends to come and waiste the day.

I got a dimeback,
cortoroys,
colored sleeves,
and a bindle with some LSD.

Now im just lookin for a girl to meet to help me to forget my name.

I could spend my lifetime gettin high,
never wanna live in suit and tie.

Most of us are just livin a lie,
drunk gettin fucked up every night.

Im gettin drunk all night ooh im gettin drunk all day ooh im gettin drunk all night im sorry but i have to say,
im too drunk to fuck.


Now the party was jumpin and the girls were fine with the lipstick summer glaze.
I got so many women comin after me i put some pussy on layaway.
I was smoked out,
tore up,
drunk as fuck and i wouldn't wanna change a thing.
Young and dumb and full of cum with a sugar loaded candy cane.

I could spend my lifetime gettin high.
never wanna live in suit and tie.

Most of us are just livin a lie,
drunk gettin fucked up every night.

Im gettin drunk all night ohoh im gettin drunk all day ohoh im gettin drunk all night ohoh im gettin drunk all day ohoh im gettin drunk all night ohoh im gettin drunk all day ohohoh im gettin drunk all night,
im sorry but i have to say.
IM TOO DRUNK TO FUCK YOU! aaahh yeah im too drunk to fuck you (guitar plays for a bit).


I can't eat, cant sleep, and im bored as fuck and the girl i want just walked away.
She just found out im too drunk to fuck,
looks like im not gettin laid.

I could spend my lifetime gettin high,
never wanna live in suit and tie.

Most of us are just livin a lie,
drunk gettin fucked up every night.

Im gettin drunk all night ooh im gettin drunk all day ooh im gettin drunk all night ooh im gettin drunk all day ooh im gettin drunk all night ooh im gettin drunk all day ooh im gettin drunk all night.
Im sorry but i have to say,
IM TOO DRUNK TO FUCK YOU! YAAAAA...
IM TOO DRUNK TO FUCK YOU.
IM TOO DRUNK TO FUCK!

This is what we've become
I weep for our musical future

ngdawg

HATE this song. Eveything else by Annie Lennox is pretty good if not downright cool, but every time I hear this, I cringe and say, "Made of WHAT??"
Sweet dreams are made of this

Who am I to disagree?
I travel the world
And the seven seas--
Everybody's looking for something.
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.

(Hold your head up--Keep your head up--MOVIN' ON)
Repeat continuously.

Tophat665

Made of what? Made of Cheese. Specifically, marscapone cheese. That's why they're sweet.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Leto

Gawd I love this stuff. Even more now than back in the day. I guess it's relative to the pap on the airwaves these days....

Devils Rancher

Uh, okay, may I interject here that she can get knotted? Dylan, by Blonde on Blonde, was a surrealist, and his lyrics were pure imagery. Sure, you can pick on a line or two here and there, but the man has no equal. When you consider his output from '63 to '68, he changed the face of music. He made lyrics (see previously Surfin USA or He's so fine, shoo lang, shoo lang) MEAN something. He gave pop music a reason to exist, at the exact moment that the 60's needed it in order for the counter-culture to form a voice around anti-Vietnam was sentiment. He fused folk (protest music, sung by dowdy, dour grumps) with rock and gave us a movement. Plus, he provoked Lennon into writing A Day in the Life. No dissing on Bob, man -- you're harshing my vibe.

Bad lyrics -- lessee. I'm shocked to find this thread has gone three pages without mention of Starship's "We Built This City":

We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

Say you dont know me or recognize my face
Say you dont care who goes to that kind of place
Knee deep in the hoopla sinking in your fight
Too many runaways eating up the night

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, dont you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll


Someone always playing corporation games
Who cares theyre always changing corporation names
We just want to dance here someone stole the stage
They call us irresponsible write us off the page

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, dont you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

Its just another sunday, in a tired old street
Police have got the choke hold, oh then we just lost the beat

Who counts the money underneath the bar
Who rides the wrecking ball in two rock guitars
Dont tell us you need us, cos were the ship of fools
Looking for america, coming through your schools

(Im looking out over that golden gate bridge
Out on another gorgeous sunny saturday, not seein that bumper to bumper traffic)

Dont you remember (member)(member)

(whats your favorite radio station, in your favorite radio city
The city by the bay, the city that rocks, the city that never sleeps)

Marconi plays the mamba, listen to the radio, dont you remember
We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

We built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll
Built this city, we built this city on rock and roll

(we built, we built this city) built this city (we built, we built this city)

and my personal all-time worst, Sammy Hagar's Three Lock Box:

Suckers walk, money talks!
But it can't touch my three lock box!
Uh! Oh, yeah!
Mysteries of the days of old.
You find the key, you got the gold.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
Treasure's here, sunken there.
Buried treasure's everywhere.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
Don't go far, circle close.
The father, son, the holy ghost.
To the trinity, I raise a toast!
Ahh, yea!
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
-solo-
Secrets of the trinity lie within the number three.
Uh! Hey!
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
(Three Lock Box)
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
(Three Lock Box)
One, two, three lock box.
One, two, three lock box.
(Three Lock Box)

Yeeeesh.

__________________
When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift.

Tophat665

Separate the lyrics from the music....

While "we built this city" is a totally indefensible song, the lyrics aren't any worse than, say, anything by Britney Spears, for instance, and while Ms Spears lyrics will certainly never be recognized for their insightful presentation of the foibles of the human condition ("oops, I did it again," indeed) they still stand head and shoulders and firm, perky bosom above the likes of "Honkey Tonk Badonkadonk", or "Why Don't We Do It in The Road" or Three Lock Box.

Don't confuse the Music with the Lyrics. "Sweet Dreams are Made of This", wretched lyrics, good song. "Gin 'n Juice", Great Lyrics, hardly music at all (until the Gourds gave it the bluegrass treatment.)

And, of course, I am as guilty as anyone else of injecting my personal disdain; in my case for the repetative with specific disgust for Techno.

What we're looking for here are the mangled carcasses of language left when insipid metaphor meets rigid rhyme scheme, not mockery so much of the musical equivalent of William Carlos Williams, however mockworthy it is.

OK, Rant over, I know return you to your regularly scheduled serving of fetid tripe, already in progress. Have fun with it.

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Devils Rancher

True -- it is at least about something, instead of just cut-and-past rhyming garbage. You know who is really touted as deep and meaningful, but totally drives me bonkers lyrically (I'll probably get in trouble for this) is Coldplay. Navelgazing at its worst.

__________________
When a true genius appears in the world you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him. -- Jonathan Swift.

simulacrality

matthew330

i keep bleeding, keep keep bleeding love.

just typing that makes me want to vomit.

Seer666

MIA has been making me want to pull my hair out. Can't turn on the radio without hearing that twats song. I was doing ok with it right up till the line "I got more records then the KGB"

I also have to go with Rage against the machine. Freaking musical McDonalds for pissed off teens and political science dropouts. The new piece of crap where he uters the line "M1 millimeter" just sets me off. There is no such thing as a fucking M1 millimeter. It's fucking wrong, and it bugs the shit out of me.

__________________
Bad spellers of the world untie!!!

I am the one you warned me of

I seem to have misplaced the bullet with your name on it, but I have a whole box addressed to occupant.

thespian86

Oh man, oh man, oh man!!!! I'm so excited for this.

Any Torontonian's ever heard of Chuggo? hahahaha be prepared.

Chuggo - Come On, Fuck A Guy

(spoken) Ahh, fuck a guy
(sirens)
When I step in the place throw your hands in the sky
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY
These girls can't have me and it makes them fuckin' cry
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY
On my way to court in a suit and a tie
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY
My brother's in the can and won't get out till next July
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY

The people are shit, that's how I feel
I'll smash your fuckin' head, that's how I'm real
Anything you need, that's what I deal
My stomach was empty, that's why it's steel
I don't trust nobody, that's why I don't blink
What ever gets me drunk, that's what I drink
I fuck all day, that's why I stink
Bitches love the block all covered in ink
The kids buy my shit, that's how I get cash
Bitches see the kids buy it, that's how I get ass
I grew up beside I strip bar, that's why I am trash
Remmy Martin (?) in my glass, that's how I've got class
Rappers got me angry, that's why I'm pissed
They're all fuckin' garbage, that's why they got dissed
Their girls come to see me because they can't fuck
You'll never sell records because your rap sucks

I heard your shit comeback, saying my name with that gun chat
YOUR MOM'S BOX SMELLS LIKE A MUSKRAT!
I'm a knockout, you're a love tap
You wanna go against Chuggo, yo fuck that (echo: YO FUCK THAT)
I'll put a sign on your back that says "I can't rap!"
And a bruise on your face that says "I can't scrap"
The way bitches shot you down screams "I can't mack"
You're a filthy piece of shit and you ain't got jack

You can catch me in the allyway gettin' drunk and high
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY
Smilin' at every sexy bitch that's walking by
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY
Shots of whisky and bottles of molson dry
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY
Fuckin' with me you must really wanna die
AAAAAHHH C'MON FUCK A GUY

I put mayo on everything, that's how I eat
Lakeshore Blvd; that's how I'm street
Can't say no to pussy, that's how I'm weak
and I've been told I'm only nice when I sleep
Loud with a slur, that's how I speak
In your lobby with a knife, that's how I creep
Drown in the lake and get found in the creek
Blue in the face, cement surrounding your feet
You talk shit, and that was the beat
That's why I'm gonna roll up and smash in your teeth
See the fire right there, that was the heat
You deserve a good beating, that's my belief
See that kid stealing? That was a thief
See those dudes behind him? That's the police
See this thing right here? That's my release
And when I get out, I'm coming back with a piece
You suckers know who's the baddest in town
I treat pussy like weed cus I pass it around
I move my hands toward your neck and I wrap it around
It won't be long before your bodies actually fell (PMF: why not ground? hit the ground?)
See this cash? That's obscene profit
You see these rocks? The feds want it
See these pounds? You need chronic
I treat the pavement cus some bitches bleed on it


I'm serious when I say there is more and that it gets worse. This is literally the worst, most offensive song I have ever heard in my short life. Yay toronto.

My IQ lowered when listening to this.

/winning

__________________
EX: Whats new?
ME: I officially love coffee more then you now.
EX: uh...
ME: So, not much.

percy

This first comes to mind(the guitar solo in this song is hideous-doesn't even make sense),..and I thought I would be respectful to all you good folks and not post the Tragically Shits entire catalog


CONEY HATCH - Monkey Bars


We are playing in the monkey bars
Sittin' by the streets just countin' the cars
We are running from place to place
We're running around, like we're in a rat race

Monkey bars, swingin' stars
Countin' the cars, by the monkey bars

We've got a job in the Amazon
Everyone's a jungle, out to con
We drive for miles and see lots of trees
We get home in time to pay our managers fees

Monkey bars, swingin' stars
Countin' the cars, by the monkey bars

(Solo)

Eatin's easy when you're chimps like us
Banana splits are a definite plus
Things'll be better when we climb our way out
Our hands may slip, but not cause of doubt

Monkey bars, swingin' stars
Countin' the cars, by the monkey bars

Monkey bars, swingin' stars
Settin' up those pars by the monkey bars

Challah

Take a deep breath.

Children of Bodom - In Your Face

GO!

Conflict, terror, hear the noise.
You're on the edge of a nerve-racking force.
But, oh, my god, here's the fight.
Never siege, never riot, must defy.

Well look at me, what do you see?
Another trophy, a living fucking dead beat
Close your eyes take a step with me
You're gone but it's not too late
Exhibiting Abnormality
It's not what you call reality.
But you will always forget
One thing I'd like you to know

I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
I don't give a flying
I don't give a flying,
I don't give a flying FUCK

I'll never wait for any interference
When the other people talk all over my shit
But do I speak thee, yes I do
So fuck hypocrisy and fuck you too

INCOMING!

[Chorus:]
Say one, more word, I double dare you (bring it on)
It's my world, you're in it, it'll take you down in a minute
You can alter your look, diversify your age.
But the truth seems like a bitchslap in your face.

Well look at me, what do you see?
Another trophy, a living fucking dead beat
Close your eyes, take a step with me
You're gone but it's not not too late
Exhibiting Abnormality
Careful what you call reality
But you will always want
You want the day that you shall die.

I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
I don't give a flying fuck motherfucker
I don't give a flying
I don't give a flying
I don't give a flying FUCK

INCOMING!

[Chorus]

INCOMING!

Tophat665

Percy, that Monkeybars tune is a delightfully fetid little piece of tripe. I know for a fact that my 8 year old daughter writes better songs. Well done.

Challah, Mrs. Hat tutors a metalhead who seems like a nice kid, but he's always trying to turn her on to Children of Bodom. Sort of makes AC/DC seem erudite, doesn't it? And the best part about it is that it sounds like it's sung by a guy gargling broken glass.

That is one of the funnier lines I have run across in recent memory.
I don't feel any dumber, but the aaaabbbb rhyme scheme and the total lack of any redeeming feature (aside from that one line) surely give that.... whatever it is a right to be featured here.

/ Hey guys, Chuggo's been going down on Muskrats again!

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Challah

*googles erudite*

Yes, it does. The vocalist... don't get me started. This is a fine thread.

cookmo

Ok, the one song that really drives me nuts is MISFITS-LAST CARESS- it's like teen horror bubble gum pop. It's got a catchy beat and gets stuck in my head, but I hate the lyrics.



MISFITS LYRICS




"Last Caress"

I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead

Well I got something to say
I raped your mother today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as she spread

Sweet lovely death
I am waiting for your breath
Come sweet death, one last caress

Go

Sweet lovely death
I am waiting for your breath
Come sweet death, one last caress

Well, I got something to say
I killed your baby today
And it doesn't matter much to me
As long as it's dead

Sweet lovely death
I am waiting for your breath
Come sweet death
One last caress

One last caress, sweet death
One last caress, sweet death

Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh
Oh oh
Oh oh oh oh oh
Oh


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