Who should pay for this damage?
 

It was fairly late a few nights ago when I had to drive my girlfriend home. My mom's minivan was in the driveway ahead of my PT Cruiser, so I decided that the best bet was to pull my mom's van out myself, while my girlfriend pulls my Cruiser out. Well I pull the van out, and my girlfriend pulls the Cruiser out into the street, and keeps going, and backs up/scrapes into my neighbor's Ford Explorer. The damage to her SUV appeared at the time to be minor, it was a few paint scratches. My Cruiser, unfortunately, didn't fare as well, with a few paint scratches, and two coffee can sized dents into the passenger rear quarter panel, just missing the tail light (actually putting a minor crack into the tail light).

My girlfriend at the time said that she would pay for the damage on both cars with her own money, seeing as she was driving the vehicle.

I drop her home, and her dad says that he'll pay me back for the damage to my car, and he'll also pay for the damage on my neighbor's car.

Well a few days ago in the mail my neighbor dropped off the bill for the damage to her SUV - an amazing $616 (with almost $500 in labor... different rant for another time.) The bill was dropped off to my dad, who had known about all this from the beginning. My dad wants me to pay for the damage in full, seeing as it was my idea to have my girlfriend pull my car out, but most of all I think he wants me to be a "good boyfriend" and pay for it. Thing here being that he'll pay for the $600 and I'll pay him back over the next few weeks... but of course my hours are being cut even more now, when I need money the most.

Here's the almost funny part - my dad is really stubborn, and my girlfriends dad is really stubborn. Her dad wants to pay it all, my dad wants me (technically him...) to pay it all, and my girlfriend wants to pay it all. Really, who has to pay for this?!?

(Seeing as I do love my Cruiser, I love my girlfriend more, and I don't wanna make her pay (erm... quite yet...) for the damage on my car. It's certainly something that can wait.)

legally, the operator of the vehicle is responsible for damages -- so as long as she isn't a minor, that would be your girlfriend. In reality tho, thats sort of a screwy situation you have going. I'd suggest a middle road, maybe your dad and her dad split the damage to the other vehicle (since technically she was at fault, but it seems your dad wants to pay some of it) and then you pay for getting yours fixed at a later date, since you seem to want to take some responsibility for the idea of having her back it out.

pony up and pay for it, it'll come back around at some point. it's nice of your dad to front the cash to do it, if you had to pay for it yourself upfront that could be a lot worse (i know it would be for me).

i know your girlfriend feels responsible but you paying for it yourself speaks a lot to how much you care about her, it will also speak a lot to her father about you being a responsible man. i think it will also show a sense of maturity to your dad. all in all the financial cost is far less than the life benefits.

but that's just my $.02

They could pay half each, then everyone's 'happy'.

Here's the deal.

1) Take your father's money, and give it to the shop that did the work.

2) Let your GF work out with her father which of them is going to write you a cheque to pay for it - how about they go 50/50?

3) Take your girlfriend's (or her father's) money and drip feed it back to your father so he thinks it's you paying him back as and when you can afford it.

Obviously this only works if nobody finds out what the others know ;)

I was thinking something like what Daniel_ said...

i think in reality I would try to split it...

Mony in relationships is always a bit touchy. It's hard to say really who should cover this without knowing you and your girlfriend.

That said, I'd think that she should pay for it. She and her dad can work out between the two of them who's going to pay for what, but it's her fault and therefore her responsibility.

Being a good boyfriend doesn't mean you clean up her messes for her. Don't rub it in her face or anything, but let her deal with it herself.

/agreed... since she ran into the other person, she should be the one to pay for it. But if you wanted to help her out, she may do the same when it comes to fixing your car ;)

I agree 100% with Tech.

I may be old school on this, but I think you should be the man and take control of the situation. Politely tell everyone it's your responsibility(GF would not have crashed if not helping YOU out), and refuse to hear anything more on it. Your father's a good man for helping you out on this. Its called Pride and Integrety.

You'll impress the hell out of the GF and her father. And you'll be paying forward for the future. I can guarantee you'll be payed back twice over in one way or another!

If this was handled by insurance companies, the insurance covering your car would pay. Under the circumstances I'd tell the girlfriend (and her father) that your insurance will cover it. Whether or not you actually place a claim with your insurance company, is up to you (I wouldn't).

Your dad seems to be very good at spending your money for you.

Your GF should pay it. She drove it. She scraped it up. Chivalry only goes so far, and we have progressed beyond the point where women aren't expected to be able to handle the real world - - -unless, that is, someone wants to push the women's lib movement back about a century ;)

MAKE HER PAY, your not married, and YOU did not cause the damage... What could possibly make your father want to make you pay for it? She made the mistake, she should pay the consequences, and you should take her out to a real nice dinner for not trying to blame you for it all. She seems to be the only level headed one around IMO.