the ultimate ride for douche-bags??
 

so i stumbled across this the other day...

http://www.fast-autos.net/data/images/40450.jpg

hot damn! This is a Hennessey tuned Dodge Viper putting out 700 hp and 645 lb/ft of torque. so what's wrong with it you may say?

well, this is the Venom 700NM. what does the NM stand for? Neiman Marcus. what is Neiman Marcus? Neiman Marcus is a hoity-toity department store that brings us such wonders as

http://www.neimanmarcus.com/products/mx/NM-1BZR_mx.jpg and http://www.neimanmarcus.com/products/mn/NMN06GN_mn.jpg and http://www.neimanmarcus.com/products/mn/NMN067C_mn.jpg

the car will be sold exclusively in their 2008 catalog.

nothing screams "bad-ass" like a paisley cashmere v-neck sweater.

[/rant]

Whoa. I never really liked the Viper, and this is fantastic evidence to support my impression.

I imagine I want a car with black Prada leather interior, but not that one.

It's okay, Will. It's just us here.

I'm a 'vette man through and through. Give me a 6C Z06 over even the best Viper any way.

But I do wear clothes sold at Sacks. And I've been told that's pretty gay.

uh, I don't care who's on the car if the car's good enough. I would drive the Lambo Diablo VS, and I don't really mind that VS stands for victoria's secret ;)

further proof that batman was, in fact, gay.

I would totally wear that shirt in the middle.

To steal a line from Jeremy Clarkson, "it looks like something a footballer would drive"

Yea... I can see it now... ripping down the highway, Spice Girls blaring, and some incredibly gay scarf blowing around your neck...

Do the seats have built-in butt plugs?

boutique cars have always been around... nothing to see here really.

:lol: Oh, brother... I haven't laughed that hard all week.

The one and only time I was in a NM store, I was looking at the sale rack (oh boy, this t-shirt is marked down from $400 to $150!) and Chamillionaire was cranked up in the shoe department. Not what I expected.

I drive a Lincoln Mark VII. I have the LSC, not the Versace or Bill Blass editions. Those just seemed ridiculous to me.
You just have expensive taste, I'm pretty sure you're not gay.
You, on the other hand ... :p

I have versions of all three of those outfits...:expressionless:

Not from NM though.

Clearly you now need a batmobile to make your life complete.

C'mon, you know you wanna...

Well the having sex with women thing gets in the way of being gay.

Still, riding in that particular vehicle would make Sean Connery question his sexuality.

Dude, nop. Nothing infringes on Sean Connery's manliness. If Sean Connery rode in that car it would start to wonder if it was straight.

Maybe it's time for Sean Connery to do a movie with Tom Cruise.

Oh, man. That's a bad idea. The purest form of manliness combined with the purest form of repressed homosexuality... it'd be like a matter/antimatter reaction, resulting in a massive explosion that consumed all the testosterone for hundreds of miles...

why do all the models have a cleft in their chins?

do you need one to be a model or something?

Possibly. Of course, none of them could actually ride in the Neiman Marcus Viper. The wind would mess up their hair.

No no, the cleft in their chin diverts the wind around their hair.

"his chin looks like balls. do you want me to get those too?"

That is the ugliest viper I have ever seen.

And its kind of funny that you can only get it from a gay mens clothing store

I've always imagined the official douchemobile to be either an Audi A4, a BMW 3-series, or a Lexus IS. That's the only people I ever see driving those things.

Around here it's PT cruiser, RX300, or Maxima.

Same, although it's the kind of thing I'd buy in the hope that it would turn me into hot property for the lady folk, rather than for my own personal tastes.

I imagine the price tag from a department store who sell tuned cars may put me off somewhat..