Sultana

I am sooo pleased you guys are interested in reading (and not just the photos) of the Burlesque video weekend. But that's why I'd share those photos here.

Here is my take on the weekend's activities:

So a dear friend of mine (Pleasant, hereafter referred to adoringly as Plez) offered me the opportunity to work as the Production Assistant for her latest instructional video, “Boom Boom: Hot Burlesque Moves for Cool Chicks.” Before the weekend started she emailed me the script (in its various incarnations), and I created cue cards for the entire shoot. It ended up being about ninety 11”x17” pages long. She also gave me a shopping list for weekend snacks (all low-fat, low carb, some high-caffeine, heh), which I picked up just before leaving for the Hollywood weekend.

In order to reduce parking irritation I picked up Plez and got to the studio nearly on time. I wasn’t terribly concerned though, as me being a little late is still much earlier than anyone else’s arrival. Once there I met Linda the makeup artist, and watched in fascination as she spread her equipment over an entire table, with more bags underneath. Soon afterwards Augusta the director arrived with a ton of equipment that I got to help set up—curtains, lights, camera stands, etc. I’ve known Augusta for a while, but this was the closest we’ve worked. I’d seen her latest production, a documentary on the burlesque company The Velvet Hammer, and am very impressed by her ability to make great film on a shoestring budget (wit is not limited by dollars). She's also a talented burlesque performer--shooting all those folks get her bitten by the bug!

After hours (it seemed) of makeup time for Plez, I assisted as she repeated take after take of the final choreography dance scene, shot first while she was fresh. I picked up and dusted off the satin gloves, lace corset, feather boa (feathers everywhere all the time!), be-crystal-ed bra and whatever else hit the floor, over and over again. Impressed with Plez’s ability to keep the routine fresh, I tried to be a silent but appreciative “audience member.” Believe me, it helps so much to feel like you’re performing for real people, rather than the unblinking eye of the camera!

We ended up taping the cue cards to the front stand of the main camera after we realized that for me to hold the cards up as high as Plez needed caused my hand to be in the shot (!). Grrr. At one point Don read the cue cards aloud for the warmup sequence while Plez demonstrated stretches. We all had a laughing fit when he came across a typo in the script and announced grandly, “Piles” instead of “Plies.” (stupid French word, I still don’t know how to spell it!) The look on Plez’s face while trying, still on camera, to figure out how to demo “Piles” was hysterical!

During a lull in the need for my PA services, I amused myself by peering over Augusta’s husband Don’s shoulder as he reviewed content from various artists’ websites on his laptop. Don is actually Don Spiro, a wonderfully talented photographer who specializes in shooting burlesque performers. Webpage after webpage of thumbnails opened as I pointed and asked, “Who’s that?” “Can I see this one?” “Is that so-and-so?” After about 15 minutes I saw a thumbnail that made me gasp, “Hey! YOU took this shot of Jo Boobs? I love that picture, it’s my favorite!” The photo in question features New York artist Jo. B ("Show me Jo Boobs!" get it? ;P), whose website was my first jumping-off point into burlesque research. She’s a terrific-looking woman, and the photo captures her vitality, her spirit, her fun attitude, and a medium-sized stuffed wild cat snarling in the background. Don looked at me surprised and said, “Wow, you really know burlesque!” He didn’t realize before that moment that I’m an aspiring Burly performer. At the end of the weekend Don actually offered to shoot me sometime in the future! I still need to learn how to project and be glam and whatnot in still shots (and oh yeah, get a costume and actually *perform*), but I’m holding on to that offer, you better believe it!

While enjoying a late dinner from the nearby rockin’ Thai place (picked up by yours truly), I mused aloud that I wasn’t sure that my intended burlesque stage name, Lickety Splits, was entirely appropriate for me as A) I can’t yet do the splits, and B) I’m not actually a, umm, *split licker*. False advertising and all. Don made the observation that it was cool to use at least one’s first real name, and the others agreed. Since my first name is more unusual than my second, we kicked around options. I favored “Renee Cordeley”, while others voted for “Renee Fleur de Lise” and “Renee Deneuve”. Or should I go with Renee Surrenders? (HAha, get it? French? Surrenders?...) Hmmm. My favorite was already taken by a band, no less: Renee Risqué. Darn! I really like that one. While Plez returned to the makeup chair for another application, she read the lipstick name off the tube: Belle du Jour (from a sexy—they tell me—French movie of the same name). Then it hit us: Renee Du Jour, Everyone’s Favorite Dish! I was reborn…now I have to go make sure I’m spelling those durn French words correctly.

Afterwards, Don went to LAX to pick up Miss Indigo Blue, a guest burlesque artist and teacher. At that point we turned our attention to the most fun part of that day’s shoot: The wrap shot! I had submitted the idea that the production crew get all made and dressed up as burlesque stars and be taped as if we had worked the entire shoot in glam makeup, high heels, boas, and sequins. Happily Augusta loved the idea, so we all got to dress up and get a quickie cameo shot for the final scene. We had planned to dress Don up as Carmen Miranda, which is perhaps why he so thoughtfully volunteered to make the midnight drive to LAX....

With all that day’s planned sequences finished by a relatively early 1am, Plez and I returned to her home only to find the most sacred and inviolate of all LA possessions, was well, violated. Of course I’m referring to the Parking Spot! Tired as we were, Plez hopped out of the car and made a beeline to the car’s previously sleeping owner. The owner was sleepy, apologetic, good natured…and nekkid. OK, she wore (barely) a towel. She moved her car, I pulled in, and Plez and I both watched amusedly as the gal attempted to parallel park even less successfully than she wore her towel. As I idly wondered if her car had leather seats to justify so much forward and backwards action without getting any closer to the curb, Plez hopped in one of the cars (unlocked, obviously), popped the clutch and coasted it forwards enough for Towel-Gal to do the deed. Eventually I divested myself of about a pound of makeup and false eyelashes, and settled down on Plez’s cat-and-retro-doll-covered couch to crash for a few hours.

The next day, after about 5 pots of strong coffee and a hearty breakfast, we drove downtown for some vital lingerie, and pastie shopping (Sunday morning in Hollywood--you go to your church and I’ll go to mine…). First we hit the Hollywood Toy Store where I picked up my necessities: a bushy mustache, double-sided tape, a Zorro hat (which Plez bought as a production gift for me), and because I have a thing for pirates, a cheap pirate hat. Everything but the pirate hat is for a big belly dance show at the end of October, by the way. Sadly, they didn’t have the pasties Plez wanted for the shoot (red heart-shaped). Since I’m not at this point a performer of the burlesque art, I passed on pasties for myself. Next came the lingerie!

The upscale Hollywood Fredrick’s next door was having the most unbelievable sale—75% off clearance prices! And all shoes were $5 (moving sale)! Initially caught by surprise, I quickly moved into position with a gigantic shopping bag and scored about 10 pounds of lacy, satiny lingerie (Yeah, I know folks don’t generally think of buying lingerie by weight, but that’s how it was that day) and a pair of shiny black patent leather retro 4” heels for $50. I shopped cheek-by-cheek with the more diminutive South American drag queens who could fit into Fredricks’ XXL clothing items and size-11 nearly-fetish shoes. Not being into the fetish shoe scene myself (I have to practice diligently just to convincingly sashay in 3” heels), I contented myself by watching the resultant fashion show. You go, boy/girlfriend! *snaps*
I think the 6-7 security guards policing the sale enjoyed themselves as well. Plez picked up lingerie to give as gifts to the rest of the crew-appropriate, given the video theme!

And still we shopped. We both still needed fishnets after all, and Plez wanted to make one more attempt to find the elusive heart pasties. Side note: Even I was surprised by the number of places one can go pastie-shopping at noon on a Sunday in Hollywood. I’m learning *so much*! Walking past the boot and “Halloween costume” stores we stumbled upon a jewelry store with Armenian music spilling out the open door. Poking our heads inside, we spied one man and 3 ladies, all over 40 I’m guessing, dancing to the lively number in true Armenian style. In a flash (ha!) Plez darted inside, dropped her substantial shopping bags, and joined the group. They laughed and shouted their approval while I clapped in time. When the song ended, we all happily shook hands, complimented each other’s dancing, and left. No, Plez didn’t even know them. It's the "Plez Effect."

The pasties proved to be no more than a sparkly pipe dream, but we both scored some high-end spandex showgirl fishnets (in both black and nude). The store owner gave both Plez and I the 15% performers discount without even asking for proof…and on that note, we returned to the studio.

Since that day’s set up needs were minimal, and I had to leave early for the hour-drive home and the return to the non-glamorous “real work world”, all I had to do was prep the cue cards for the next few sections and go grocery shopping for the rest of the crew’s dinner later on. The shopping list read something like: Bitchen’ bread, organic tomatoes, baby mayo, and baby mustard…Trader Joe’s here I come! In the meantime more cast members arrived at the studio, including the local burlesque star Venus De Mille (brilliant artist!) as well as Miss Blue from Washington. I couldn’t stay long to chat with them though, as I had to skedaddle.

I was sad to leave the studio, and the whole weekend’s experiences behind, but I looked forward to getting home and returning to hubby, cats, and familiar territory. Once I got home I ceremoniously unloaded the pirate hat, the lingerie, the dance books, the “I *heart heart* Burlesque” T-shirts, wigs, etc. on the table (where they remain, it’s been only a few hours after all!).

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"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath.
At night, the ice weasels come." -

Matt Groening

My goal? To fulfill my potential.

amonkie

Sounds like you had a great time... and I wonder if the residue of pounds of make up and fake eyelashes tipped the store clerk


The world of Hollywood... where everyone becomes a star... and we can say we knew you Back Then.

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna

Redlemon

What I learned: there is overlap between the bellydancing and burlesque communities. I don't know why, but I would have assumed that they kept themselves distinct from each other. Sounds like a great time, and thank you very much for opening up this part of your life to us.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Psycho Dad

Now while I could never do (for obvious reasons) something like that, I am for some reason so amazed at the great time you must have had that weekend. Very interesting and thanks for sharing the story as well as the pictures.

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Don't always trust the opinions of experts.

tecoyah

It does sound like a great time.....and you my dear are definately multi-talented. And I remember....quite fondly "Trader Joe's"....great place.

tecoyah does some Armenian dancing ....and bounces out the door.

amonkie

So Trader Joe's is a West Coast Only thing????


*Goes and Stocks up at the TJs 500 feet away... can I just buy the store?

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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna