Shadows of my soul - Poetry Chapter One.
 

Hello All. Everything posted under my name is original (copyrighted) work by me. Some of it may be good, some of it may suck. It's completely me. Take it or leave it...but at least try to see the beauty within it. Thanks.

Anxious
 

Fairytales of Fiction
 

Yearning
 

Expectant
 

Love's Own Poison
 

As she lay on the satin sheets surrounded by wealth and respect, she wonders, "What do I really own?"
She is answered with nothing. The beauty of riches has gained her nothing but a name well spoken, one whom everyone's heard of. But they whom have heard it shall die one day as she is doing now, and the name like torn shadows will be once forgotten as they were once learned. Like the poison she was given in secret to take her life so soon.
And as she lay there, drowning in her new found misery and pain, she doesn't realize that the love she once gave before accepting the one who gave her riches is still there. The man who accepted that love before her greedy selection to be with one who gave her wealth silently watches over her, with tears in his eyes...each tear a memory.
And where, oh where, is the man who gave her the wealth?

Laying in bed with the cook's eighteen year old daughter, speaking the same words of devotion and desire he once said to his dying wife. The poison she was secretly given...on his fingertips.

Dependent
 

"I love you" he spoke, as he rushed his seed inside her. She smiled, knowing the words were in the midst of lust and passion and were not spoken from the heart.
The days go on. She is now the life support of her flower, a tiny child. She does not see the man anymore, for he claims to never have said the three fragile words to her.
He brags to ignorant friends of the joys of being "free". No extra weight to weigh him down. The responsibility is on her. Ha! He laughs.
Through pain and passion, the child is born and sadly, the woman dies. The man who once boasted, is now the sole caretaker of this tiny human life. Once
finacially steady, now working from day to day to survive.

Like the one just above this...some of these are not the best...some were written many moons ago...some just recently...some when I was a teenager...bear with me.

Footsteps
 

I walk in the night,
alone with silence to guide me,
and I cry my salty tears,
for I have no one.
How long must I walk till I find the one,
and be held in his arms at night,
with tender words to lull me to sleep,
and my heart at rest.
How many tears must I cry,
before my eyes dry,
like deserts of sand,
needy of water like I am of love.
My heartbeat is all I hear,
alone in the silent night,
and it has no echo,
to soothe me.
Then like the rhythm of my heartbeats,
I hear footsteps behind me,
only to see a heart like mine,
to share my passion.

Never
 

I love you,
he whispers in the darkest night,
as he rushes his seed inside her,
sadly she believes this is true love.
Betrayed,
she tells herself as she cries with anger,
as he pretends not to know her,
and her body swells with the seed inside her.
Damn Him,
she swears as the pain becomes overwhelming,
and the tiny child is born,
to take her pain.
The pain of her new life,
so euphoric in itself,
makes her cry,
at her childish anger.
Never,
she swears,
he will never know how it feels,
to give life as I have.

Sweet Silence
 

Whispers in the night,
alone with my thoughts,
I begin to think of you,
and I smile.
Remembering the gentle kisses,
and being held all night long,
happiness is in your arms,
and that is where I am.
In my thoughts,
I am happiest,
for I am with you,
in Sweet Silence.

Here I stand at a mirror,
reflecting as I stare,
I'm trying to see,
why you don't care.

Why am I forced,
to turn my heart away,
when I've grown comfortable,
with you right here to stay.

How am I obsessed,
when what I feel is love,
I'm forced to let go,
now that you've given a shove.

You act like it's nothing,
and walk away unabashed,
my heart is in pieces,
my confidence is trashed.

I dislike you yet I love you,
I'm so torn inside,
Can't stop feeling uneasy,
Suspicious that you lied.

Driven
 

I enjoyed reading all of these.

I especially like that stanza right there. Wonderful words. I see you've only just begun too. Hope I can keep up haha.

Asta!!

Jester&Echo
 

** Eternally Rest In Peace
My Beloved Ferret, Echo
March 2001 - September 2005
We'll see you again one day
Reunited at The Rainbow Bridge**

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

Furry little face,
wet tiny little nose,
hanging from your hammock,
this is how it goes.

Hide and go seek,
tag you're it,
these are the games they love,
as I patiently sit.

Kisses and wiggles,
barking and sighs,
getting into something,
are your ultimate highs.

Food and water,
ferretone as a treat,
the things you love,
can't quite be beat.

The biggest of yawns,
on the bed or the floor,
a romp around the room,
is always what you adore.

Never passes a laugh,
without Joy behind,
I love you little fuzzies,
I'm in love with your kind.

Misunderstood and disliked,
such happiness you bring,
you're two little humans,
and not just some "thing".

My two ferrets of Joy,
little partners in crime,
I hope you stay with me,
til the end of time.

*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo With love to Jester and Echo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo Rest In Peace, My Sweet Echo - 09.29.05 xoxoxoxxoxoxoxox

Thank you, K-Wise!! When I find my folder of written poetry I will have much more to post. :) Until then, I will write a new poem here and there or post and old one or two I have...hope you keep enjoying them. I'm not as good as some people I know, anymore, but I do have my moments. :lol:

Ferrets totally rock. Liked that poem too. I'll try and find time to read as many as I can if not all of your poems yo. Keep em comin homie I'll get to em.

Asta!! :thumbsup:

Thank you! I will do my best.

In Search Of
 

Two and a half years,
your loss, you jerk,
you threw it all away,
don't want to make it work.

You said you loved me,
such a believable lie,
cold and indifferent,
so unwilling to try.

Now I'm left with the pain,
shocked at the way you acted,
suspicious of your reasoning,
wondering who else you've attracted.

Fighting my sadness and torment,
pushing you out of my mind,
looking for my true "soulmate",
unsure of what I will find.

Gem
 

The above one is unfinished...More to come...

Yes good stuff but it's "threw" as in "You threw it all away" :thumbsup:

Asta!!

Thanks, K-Wise, I posted that just before I passed out...

Can relate well to two and a half years. a universal stnaza that many of us want to say to some jerk =)

Good stuff. Glad to see you posting hon. I can't help but wonder if I just might now the..... insperation.... behind the "Black leather clasped" poem......
Hope you got a good collar for when I come back home;)

The name of it is "Driven", Seer...I wouldn't have read the book if it wasn't for you, so perhaps you ARE my inspiration for that poem...

So you two guys know each other eh? Cool.

Asta!!

Yeah, K-wise, Seer and I have known eachother 5 years now...

From The Outside In
 

A tear rolls down your cheek,
pain so deep you can't speak,
anger is the fire behind your eyes,
you're so sick and tired of the lies.

Your lips are so tightly pursed,
his name once loved is now cursed,
you hands gripped in fists of rage,
you're just wishing he'd act his age.

You walk alone so many nights,
you're so tired of all these fights,
you want desire, respect and trust,
not just flirting, sex and lust.

But yet, you walk back to him each time,
giving in, no punishment for his crime,
showing him no backbone, its okay,
not brave enough to run, so you choose to stay.

Here I am, your friend not foe,
I listen to you, your plight, your woe,
However, what is it that you fear,
To my advice you turn a deaf ear.

You're stuck here to bitch, complain and moan,
the way out - you've already been shown,
be brave - I don't have a loser as a friend,
be strong and put this mess to an end.

I rather enjoy your work....well worded and clear in message.

Thanx

Thank you very much. You've made my day :D

Maybe it's just because I'm sick and it's really late, but I read this and I got goosebumps ALL over. the "deserts of sand, needy of water" really hit home since I live in the desert. Thanks for sharing so much of you!

:D Thank you Amonkie. I live in the desert also, so we both understand the barren world in which we reside. I'm sure there is more to come soon.

Well, I wish I could find it all but since most of my stuff is packed up in storage...time will only tell...however, I'm about to post some that I found just recently...

What the fuh...?
 

Whining, Nagging,
B*tching, Complaining,
Pissin', Moaning,
Softly Groaning.

Throw a look,
Huff and sigh,
I'm beginning to think,
a computer stole my guy.

Fidget and fuss,
scratch an itch,
think and wonder,
Am I being a B*tch?

Shower, don't dress,
brush out my hair,
stand their naked,
nope, he doesn't care.

Throw on some clothes,
give up and quit,
find something else to do,
so tired of this sh*t.

Organize and move,
clean and repair,
I do all the work,
while he just sits there.

My dear beloved guy,
this is about to end,
I want the other A**hole back,
who I chose as my boyfriend.

Choices
 

Can I do this or can I not?
Is he the person that I thought?

Will his addiction tear us apart?
Can his love mend my broken heart?

Will his laughter fill my ears?
Or his smile dry my tears?

So uncertain, here I stand,
left without a helping hand.

I fight this battle I see each day,
taking all of my friends away.

Do I give in and be with them?
Give up being clean, have it condemned?

That life a struggle I care not lead,
I try to turn a deaf-ear as they beg and plead.

Future in question, won't leave them behind,
If I choose to follow, the sacrifice is my mind.

Silently Weeping
 

Poorly put together,
simple pages of time,
no sense, no answer,
no reason nor rhyme.

Worn pages and torn corners,
blank pages without ink,
void of words and feeling,
no time to question or think.

One rose upon a small grave,
a child's new place to belong,
pages ripped from a book,
is a voice without a song.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! That is great!!! I love it!

:hmm: Something you're trying to tell me?

LOL. Having a paranoid day, love?? ;) Inquiring minds want to know. I would love to hear your take on that poem, Seer.

If I am trying to tell you something, what would it be?

I am, however, very happy that you found the first part of the poem to be funny. I re-read that part and laugh, still, everytime. :)

Identically Opposite
 

Amazing grace should never be played at a wedding,
for her day of light should hold no sorrow,
yet she remains in darkness everyday before that time,
a bitter bride held in the eternal torment of tomorrow.

White train of memories, a veil covering inner beauty,
a dream cursed, continually unfulfilled, tried and true,
waiting each day to fall in love and forget sorrow,
an honor to wear things old, new, borrowed and blue.

...to be continued...