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Old 10-09-2004, 12:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Location: South Carolina
The Crown Rules (maybe NSFW)

They never see me coming, you would think after 10 years of doing this they would learn that the King had to have a spy somewhere in the field. No one expected it to be me, the Foppish Librarian. Then came the war to end all wars.


The Hall of Lord Chigwinton was a sight to see like this, all the sconces Lit and fireplaces full. The Fair was simple, Beef and Barley Stew, But I wasn’t here for Chigwinton’s Food, though I miss the Baroness’s cooking. The dinner conversation was light and vapid as we discussed the various polite diner conversations permissible under etiquette. The Lady Chigwinton held court of dinner conducting the conversation like a maestro. Lady Chigwinton looked like her husband, both of advancing years, Both had Sliver hair, and wrinkled faces to remind you that they too once worked the same fields that there Peasants work now. Their two daughters were present; Dame Chigwinton the oldest, and some say prettiest if it wasn’t for the scars that came from the coming of the Arcanum Wars. Alanna Chigwinton 5 years younger than her sister, and if I had my druthers would be a bed partner for the night, was making eyes at my bodyguard, The Lord Von Hasselbeck the veldt and graceful Warrior who sat at my left. His long blond hair, and Bedroom blue eyes, always kept the ladies from noticing the much plainer me. Also at the low table sat my Half brother Pips, Broad and stolid, Though not the sharpest of Wits, he held his own court at the Low table of the castle staff, Including the Lords Scribe, and my supernumory here the Honorable Julliet. Why is it that the Smarter the Woman, the more they went for the Burly type like my brother.

Our Hostess clapped in the air the signal for the final course, I could tell Von was defiantly going to be having his own desert, as was Pips, Leaving me per usual with my books. The Pastry was done in the Von Hasselbeck Crest looked as impressive as I was disgusted. Though Von never noticed, my outré, he never dose, Von was not even a kingdom Noble, Equal on rank with Lord Chigwinton, My self though not a noble was still the Kings Librarian to Von’s Baronial Lordship. Never the less I keep my mouth shut and smiled the smile of a thousand stars. Diner concluded and the companions for the evening broke up into there respective groups. His Lordship Chigwinton cornering me chatting on and on about how the Advances that have been made sense I gave him a Tome on Agriculture, and how He was going to out produce those Elvish bastards down river this year, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that the book was authored by those same Elvish bastards down River of him. Faining exhaustion I begged my leave to go to my room and rest before we tore the Library apart looking for a Book I was certain I had seen here when I Visited after the Kings Coronation. With out a look back I left the hall, to the giggles of Alanna, and Von in the hallway, more depressed than ever I rejoined my effort to return to my room. As I walked I changed my body posture from Smile of a Thousand Stars, to Death in a Cask Wine. Staggering forward I look around to notice a discreet Guard post hidden as an Alcove in the Wall, noting its position I continued on ward to my room, Three Guards were “stationed” on the Guest wing, More to keep us from “hurting” our selves while here. The Truth was it was keep us from wandering off into the night.

Reaching my rooms I return to my self, and wander over to my book satchel and pull out my personal Copy of the Manuel of Pleasure, an Elvish book that My friend Crimson And I Translated, and the book that brought me to the Kings attention. Using the Book As my Encryptor I start to write down my notes to the King in Page, Line and Word number sets. I hear movement in the hallway; setting down my book I wait for whom ever it was to enter. The door creped open. Steadying my Breath I ready a Spell. (In these situations I prefer something of a high order spell) Then a head poked through the Door. “Oh!” said the head of Dame Chigwinton as she ducked back behind the door.
“Ummm Librarian,” she continued hesitantly using the door as cover from my spells. “I come in peace, Please don’t cast.” She wasn’t the prettiest of the bunch, and most defiantly ignored me during dinner, having been snubbed my Von herself.

“Come in, I’m sorry It’s a habit I picked up during the Arcanum Wars.” I turn on Smile of a Thousand Stars. Lowering my arms back to the desk, she sashays in, dressed in a long cloak of Emerald green with Ermine fur trim, I really dislike certain Knights, and this one had that air about her, That air of how superior they were over us lowly scholars; Because we attacked from outside of Sword range; We were the dishonorable ones.

“Please enter, is your Lady Mother with you chaperone?” I said with another blinding smile having quickly slipped into Smile of a Thousand Stars, Knowing that there was no way a chaperone would be needed.

Ducking her head around the corner, and seeing my hands resting on the table. Dame Chigwinton stepped in. “I see you have settled in comfortably.” Her body language telling me that she was not happy to be here.

“Look my Dame I know you don’t like me or my Ilk; So why are you here at this hour.” Looking upended the shocked visage of the Knight, because of the breach of execute that I just done by cutting out all the small talk.

“ Why do you think I don’t like you?” Dame Chigwinton said trying to recover he composure.

“I don’t know could it have been your calling me a what was it an; ”Ink Fingered. Fool of a mage, so in love with my books that I have paper cuts in my nether region!” I watched as her eyes scrunched knowing I had hit home, but strangely enough her eyes soften.
“Look Okay I don’t like mages in general, and scholars most of all, But you aren’t here looking for a book are you?” the glint in her eye was turning evil

“No, actually I am here for my stated purpose, the king needs a Copy of Bryant’s Treaty on Dams and Dikes, what, please don’t tell me you heard the roomer that Von is a spy, and we are covering for him?” I raise an eyebrow Questioningly. I put away my smile and replace it with a look of hurt and shock. “The treatment I get here is always rude, and to be honest if it wasn’t that Von loved it I would be offended, I am the Kings Librarian, not a scribe, My title out ranks even your fathers, yet your mother Brings out dessert in Von’s Crest, and last time I was here your enlightened father came to me, and asked If a boy would be more my speed! How am I supposed to take that?” The anger from my voice surprised even me. She started with a stammer already mad I took the opening. “And you sister! Didn’t even wait to get to room to swerve with Von.” At this I could see I had overstepped.

“Firstly You Like me Are not a Noble, Von is a Noble and Lord with a future, if the gossip is true, so Don’t you dare Berate my mother, for trying to get my sister a good marriage. As for you mister high and Mighty You walk in as if you own this place, well I don’t care who you are these are our lands, we do not care if the King sent you here as anything!” now she was outraged.

I stood up and walked closer to her, She was not scared, So I guess she had spell protections Granted her by her Knights magic. Standing just in front of her nose, I reached out and kissed her long and hard. She stepped back, “So why are you here, right now, Cheiresse, I know you can’t lie, so be like your nature upfront, I am not a politician like Von.”
She stepped back again and jumped as a Pocket of water explode in a log in the fireplace. “You are insufferably full of your self Mage.” With that she pushed me backwards as I fell onto the Bear Skin rug. It was then that I realized not only was she unarmed, but dressed in just her shift

“Stop! I know you don’t want this”, looking down her shift I could see I was wrong, But I knew she would regret it in the morning. She stopped and threw up her hands. “Men! What’s wrong with me, you went through the Arcanum Wars, I thought you would understand these scars more than Von.” She was perturbed, I could play this and get laid or I could do the right thing and let her talk it out and realize that I’m not what she really wants.

“ I don’t mind scars and you have a very lovely body, but you’ve never given me any hint that you were interested in anything more than snubbing me before, why change?” Still lying on the rug, I start rubbing my head; suddenly very glad she had pushed, and not slugged me. “In Fact were you not In Love with Sir Akeem, last time you and I were at the same Council Gather?”

“Yes.” She said under her Breath, “but he left me for a cause.” She took a breath and I guess I had decided to go the Honorable route dam it all. “He and my father were thick as thieves in a project,” she gasped and started to sob. “The King is wrong to ban the Plainer Lords from this Kingdom, My Father Has sided with Law, and Akeem has become a Law Knight.” I consoled her into the night, not knowing what to say I Held her close, and in spite of my aching loins, Let her cry her self out, and into sleep. Quickly I set about my work, Casting a Simple spell to trap her legs to the ground to Blow her spell defenses, and following quickly with the Journeyman’s Utility spell of sleep. As she rested as I uncurled her from my arms. Gently laying her down on the Rug. I stood up and changed from my Foppish court outfit, to my work blacks, and casted a Nasty spell from my wand, a Prize from a nest of Necromancers I had helped vanquish, Feeling oily as the Death Energies invaded my body changing me from Human to Shadow.

Sticking to the darkness I Wandered down the hallway, I knew what I had to do, and even though I love my King, I hate this part of the Job. Finally after spotting another hidden Guard post, I made it up to the Lords Hall, where his lordship and family sleep. Taking a deep breath following a route that I had memorized last time I was here, I slipped into his Lordship chamber. Taking a second to let my Eyes adjust to the lower light in his room, I looked around. Soon I spotted him sleeping like a baby. Reaching into my Cloak I pull out a vial Containing a double strength death inducing ingested poison, Expensive, but not something I am associated with like my magic, though it is my adopted mother’s preferred Vocation for me.

Sliding over, gliding in the darkness of my shadowy form, I stop and dispel the Shadowform from around me. Taking a string from my pouch, I break the wax seal on the stopper, and pull it out with no noise. Placing the string in the Vial I put the Stopper back on, and proceed to line up the String with his mouth, once there I tilt the Vial and the poison runs down the string and dribbles onto His lordships lips, all it took was one lick and his lordships eye shot open, and then he gasped for air, as a shudder shook his body, then he was still.

I waited to make sure that his lordship didn’t have any nasty surprises like a magical Rune inscribed some where in the room to bring him back to life. After making sure he wasn’t coming back, I castled the Shadowform spell again, and after noting that I would need to be cleansed after this, retraced my self-back to my room.

Slipping back into my room I dropped the Shadowform spell, and Picked up Cheiresse, Placing her in my bed I joined her in it, snuggling up, I hate being chaste like this, with the smell of unfulfilled sex upon her. But with determination, I soon was asleep as well.

Morning rose and Cheresse Woke before me, waking me as she slipped from my arms, she hastily dawned her cloak, “If they find me here my father will kill both of us.” She said and slipped out the door.

I know for a fact that by the time the bread was started for this morning, The roomer mill had it, that I had Bedded there beloved Dame, was all around the castle As I knew it would be, even in the Kings palace, guards love to gossip.

Now started the hard part I got out of bed looking at the Shift fallen and forgotten on the floor, scooping it up I added it to my close pack, it would make a good conversation Piece with Duke Timmy on my return. I dressed hurriedly in my Cotton Pants and King’s tunic, I went to the Library and started searching for the Book that I was “sent for” soon after Pips and the Honorable Julliet. Both of them looking tussled but to the entire world uncaring about it.

“Pips, Julliet, welcome, I have started here and have begun to work my way around the room, If we work together we could have this done in a few days, looking at the massive, racks of books and parchment. It was later then I had expected, when the Guards stomped in. “ Librarian, would you and your party join her ladyship in the court room. The fact that the guards already had Swords out, that let me know they meant business. Together Pips and I chatted amiably about the books and the evening before, we arrived in the Courtroom, Sitting upon the head seat was her ladyship, Below her was Dame Chigwinton, and kneeling on the floor clutching his arm was Von looking much worse for wear. “Welcome, Thank you for accepting my Invite.” Lady Chigwinton said with a sneer, “It seams some one murdered my husband last night, And as Von refuses to tell me where he was last night I had decide to ask you both the same questions.”

I smiled, “ I know where he was last night Bitch, he was with your lovely daughter like you wanted her to be, whoring her self for marriage.” I hustled over to Von, and checked his arm. He had been beaten badly, his Feminine looks only accentuated the damage. Clucking at this, I take my time checking over Von’s injuries, playing the part of someone in unrequited love.

At this she gasp and looked accursedly at her youngest daughter, “Why didn’t you say something?” Her lady ship asked with a touch of malice in her voice.

“He wasn’t with me the whole night, and the bastard won’t marry me, even though he had his way with me in the hall.” Alanna pouted, there is nothing worse than a woman scorned.

Von replied, “ I wouldn’t say because then your daughter’s honor would have been worthless, but now I see you don’t care about your daughter.” Von considered him self already married to Crimson, though like the rest of her race, promiscuity was a requirement not an option.

“My Lady Chigwinton, I must Protest your treatment of His Lordship Hasselbeck!” I looked sternly as I could at Lady Chigwinton but it loses something when ones face is painted to look more comical. Which is good because that’s the effect I was going for.

“Well then, from talking to the night watch, I know that you were with my eldest all night, and I know your brother was rutting like dogs with my Scribe, so that leaves Lord Hasselbeck as the prime suspect, Dose it not?” Lady Chigwinton’s Eyebrow arched all Pleased like a Cat with a Canary. One thing I have noticed about this family, if it involved them it was magical and great, if it involved anyone else it was like lesser animals had done it.

“Then why don’t you ask my rutting mate,” I placed as much vulgarity as I could behind the word rutting. Maybe it wasn’t Fair to Cheriesse, and the best part is she couldn’t say if we had or hadn’t, because she did know; But it did have the desired affect on her mother, “to cast a Truth spell on Our Lord Hasselbeck, or have you always preferred torture?”

“Well now Librarian you make a point, but a mute one, as I don’t care, I’m going to kill him anyways for what he did to my daughter, and while I am at I am going to kill you and Your Brother.” Why is it they always want to kill all of us, Just once, can’t they just try to kill my brother?

With a sigh, I reach into my satchel, and pull out a small Arrow and let it go as the Guards jumped me. As have said before I am not very durable being a scholar, so I go down quickly. It is to late and Lady Chigwinton knows it, I have released a Kings mystic message arrow.

Lady Chigwinton’s eyes Blazed with white Fire, as her anger raised apparently Her Husband wasn’t the only one given to Law. Pips is a good man, especially in a fight. It was then that Pips Decided he has had enough, quickly casting from the wand he keeps tucked in his sleeve a guard drops his sword as the guard rushes, in to the melee. Pips scooped up the sword, and attacked the guard Plowing through them with the efficiency of one used to this. Pips can’t fight them all, and Von is about useless with a broken arm, but it buys me enough space to start casting. Un like a lot of mage’s who conserve there magic’s I don’t worry about it. Starting off with my highest powered offense I instantly kill the closest Guard with a spell that separates his soul from his body. Spinning rapidly I swirl my cloak, and start casting, spells of Binding and Weakening Erupt from my hands as I cast Spell after spell in rapid succession as I spin three complete revolutions. The Guards Beaten back from me is amazed and stupefied with laughter as I over balance and fall onto my own petard.

I lay upon the ground bruised and beaten waiting for my humiliating capture and Subsequent Execution. When from the back I hear a crack of Celestial Energies, A Blue Eye winks open, and Crimson steps out in all her Wood Fae Glory, Sword tucked under one arm, Firey Red hair seeming Demonic as she starts just like I taught her, with her Death spells, not having any defensive spells her self she has a lot more of them than I have, but even then she is quickly taped out, So she starts in with the reverse of her Healing spell, and starts casting drawing from Oily and dangerous Chaos. She stops for a Moment and switches gears throwing a renewing spell at Von and Pips, a lesser Cure spell at me and soon all the guards are on the ground, and blood stains the Grout in the stone cobbles that make up the floor. Looking upon the Law Spawn on the Dais, I see Alanna Laying on the floor her neck obviously broke, Dame Chigwinton laying across the Lower seat; Looking for all the world like someone had cut the strings of a Puppet.

Standing there on the Dais was lady Chigwinton, Sword in her hand, Spells obviously an option. Looking for the entire world like some angelic creature Hell bent on murder. She started big calling upon the highest of Sorcery She opened with an Obliteration Spell, Everyone Jumped out of the way, as the packet of energies flew over our heads and into the chest Lovely Julliet. Then Lady Chigwinton Jumped off the Dais towards us. Von grabbing up a Fallen Guards Sword met and parried the blow away from my fragile skull. They exchanged blows for a while; every once in a while one would go for a Critical Blow, and the other would pull a Seeming miraculous Parry. But all to soon, Von, between exhaustion, and the stones slick with blood went down in a lifeless heap. Crying out with rage, Crimson Lunged forward, to prevent Lady Chigwinton, from delivering the Killing Blow, to Von. Crimson is a natural fencer like her favorite Lover, but her blows much weaker than that of this Law Spawn, Soon Crimson too was down, a sword through her Leg. Pips chose this moment to enter the Fray. Attacking from behind, with his barrowed sword. Pips being the stolid fellow he is, was self taught how to fight with a sword, Hits very hard, but has no grace or art. Pips lands several Blows upon the lady, but he to is still dispatched with surprising ease. Standing I pull open a flap on my satchel pulling out the vials within I start throwing them at Lady Chigwinton, each doing easily as much or more damage than even Pips mighty Blows. But all to soon I too is out of the Acid filled vials. Lady Chigwinton smiles at me as she take slow put purposeful steps toward the damage of the combat apparent on her face. I could run away and leave my friends and family. But I won’t I stand my ground waiting to die. Lady Chigwinton pulls back her Arm ready kill me in what will probably be her first strike. When all the sudden A Mace head enters my vision from above my head, And with a Solid Thunk connect with Monstrously twisted face of Lady Chigwinton, Blood splatters everywhere and Lady Chigwinton here mouth a ruin of flesh, Stairs at me then shifts her glance over to my side. Standing there Looking like some Legendary Valkery is Cheriesse. At that the Lady Chigwinton Fell backwards like a board, her body like that of her husbands turning to dust.

Not one to waist time Dame Chigwinton, Started to see to the injured in the hall. I do my best to help stabilize the Injured for healing, using my minor skills in the healing arts, to Keep people from dieing, There is a Lot of dead, Unfortunately most of them innocent Guards here to do a job. Finally With those that can be saved having been saved, I stop look around and vomit, and then passed out my self.

Waking up I find my self in the Kings palace, sitting in the room is Lord Steven the Kings Inquisitor, Pips, and Von. I try to sit up, but I can’t suddenly fear the Worst I look down, and realize I have been tied to the bed. Pips smiles his normal all is well with the world smile. Von is looking petulant as always with Lord Steven. Lord Steven Cleared his throat, “What pray tell, happened in that Castle, the King Is most perturbed Librarian?”

Clearing my throat my self-dry and scratchy from my healing. “Your Grace It I s my duty to proffer charges against Lord and Lady Chigwinton, and Sir Akeem of the King’s most Loyal Order of Chivalry, Of consorting, and aiding and abetting the plane Of law.” Pips offers me some water, he holds the cup and pours it down my throat.

“Well,” Said Lord Steven, “that clears that up and how is this supposed to make the king happy.” Lord Steven took a look around the room.

“Lord Steven acting under King Writ, I was sent to Caner Chigwinton, to find out the truth of the gossip over heard by your agent at the Last council gather, about Lord Chigwinton was truly Law possessed. Our first night there, I was informed about Lord Chigwinton, by Dame Chigwinton, that her former Betroved and Her father were engaged in an Alliance with a planer Lord of Law. This matched with the Identification Spell having been cast by the Guild Master of the King Celestial Guild, upon the site of a closed plainer gate, that Law had defiantly been contacted, With Sir Akeem not present at t he time and believed to have traveled by the gate to the Plane of Law, I Meted out Justice as per Kings Writ, and quietly assassinate Lord Chigwinton, What I had not discovered was that Lady Chigwinton was also Corrupted by Law, and had used her powers to find the poison I used on Lord Chigwinton. Perusal She wrong assumed that Von was the murderer. After Torturing the Lord Hasselbeck, She confronted us with her “facts”, when I pointed out that her facts had a few holes in them, She admitted that she was going to murder Lord Hasselbeck, and to remove witnesses Murder my brother and I. At this time I sent a messenger arrow with my Findings To Duke Timothy. And proceeded to resist. Per instructions, the Guild master Teleported Crimson into the room when the fighting broke out. After Subduing or killing all the Guards present. The Lady Chigwinton after Killing Alanna Chigwinton and attempting to murder The Dame Chigwinton revealed her self as Law Spawn. Then Casting High sorcery obliterated the Honorable Julliet du Lac. I have reason to believe that the Honorable Julliet, as having cast the original Planer gate, and was destroyed to prevent her from talking. The lady Chigwinton, then entered combat her Self and if not for the Timely Intervention of Dame Chigwinton, would have killed us all. I recommend that the Following cover story be used, Lord and Lady Chigwinton found an Arcanum Artifact, which took control of the Lady Chigwinton, which proceeded to lay waste to the castle in a murderous frenzy, and that she her self killed Lord Chigwinton, Only to be stopped by there daughter Dame Chigwinton her self.”

“These are the facts and conclusions as best as I could find them my Lord, May Please be cleansed now, and then untied, so I can go back to sleep.” yawning for Emphasis

“Yes you may,” Lord Steven Said with a flippant wave “and I will tell the King what you have said, and once again you won’t get any public recognition, but the King Respects and Honors all you do for both Publicly and Privatly.”

“Oh, “ Lord Steven, Said with a sly grin on his face, “the king wanted to know if you found the book he sent you for.”

Taking my pillow I threw it at him and laughed my way back into sleep.
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