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Literature CHALLENGE! (elegiacal)
Can you write an elegiacal poem?
------- A poem in couplets (pairs of rhyming lines). Each line has 6 syllables (hexameter). The first and fourth syllables are long, with the rest short (dactylic). The third and six syllables are unstressed. Poetic haven't-beens Struggling as it seems All are of dire afflict Dactylic verse is strict (even I cant do it) |
Pornography is why
beauty is in the eye Viewers will gaze at it their pants will rise from tits. this one was done quickly, so ignore it :) I'm working on another. |
the third line is good, analog, but the rest have inconsistant stresses
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just once i'd like to be
more than a memory fading away to black i will never come back did i do that right?! |
Wanting to live forever
Needing much more Liquor Dancing fast in moonlight Missing her much tonight How's that. |
nah guys, watch the stresses. tekno came real close, but the stresses in the last line are out of place. Great attempt though.
Pan, watch the number of syllables too. |
Ok, I think I did harribly, but I tried :)
I posted it so I can see where I went wrong a little mmore clearly. It was fun to write though. Strangely we stagger in False and unattended sin stench of a spoiled pen cornered bleeding men false we ignore them all crazed uncouth and small |
Re: Literature CHALLENGE! (elegiacal)
Quote:
Broken mind, Tortured haze Insight lost, Knowledge fades Highscool classes, Failing grades Aging helps, Timeless curve Taking more, Increased Nerve Spending Hours, Learning facts Fixing holes, Sealing cracks Current state, Growing strong Power play, Never wrong |
Chauncey, among other things, spoiled is one syllable
Tecoyah, the issue with your poem is that every third syllable is long. |
ok I made that line 6 syllables
any better? Strangely we stagger in False and unattended sin stench of a spoiled ink pen cornered bleeding men false we ignore them all crazed uncouth and small |
Perhaps I misunderstand the term long, as I am not a poet.
Please define that I may try again. |
utter to yourself 'toc tik tik'
the first syllable 'sounds' longer, doesn't it? It has to do with the tense of the vowel. |
Got it....hmmm. bit drunk tonight.
Deeply felt pain, Remourse Broken mind, no recourse more along the lines? |
nah, your first line has the stresses mixed up and your second line has a long 3rd and 6th syllable
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Damn....ain't this a bitch
Not within, Gone again Swallow thought,Force my pen Lines of dots,Blank in ink Cramping mind, Forced to think. |
Your first line is good.. that's it.
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