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Old 12-15-2003, 10:19 PM   #1 (permalink)
H12
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Location: K-Town, TN
"The One That I Love So" and "Tomorrow" (sonnets)

The One That I Love So

This one goes to the one that I love so
The one I won’t again get to call mine,
It is just so hard to let go, I know
Of the girl who was so truly divine.
I don’t know how she took my heart with ease
And felt as deep in love as I was in,
Then turned around and brought me to my knees
And made me hurt inside like it was sin.
Now she claims she has found a better man
And has moved on since our relationship;
Now she claims that I could not understand
And has since lost both my touch and my grip.
This one goes to the one that I love so
Each time I see her I still melt like snow.



Tomorrow

I’m going out on a limb tomorrow;
She wants to see me to tell me about
How her ex-boyfriend brought lots of sorrow
And how her tears have run dry like a drought.
However, I’m on a quest tomorrow;
She needs to be able to trust again.
We hardly know each other, we both know,
But I wish to bring her pain to an end.
I will sway her opinion tomorrow;
I’ll make her wish she was with me so quick.
I’d show her something he will never show:
A remedy for her heart that’s been sick.
I’m going out on a limb tomorrow;
Forget her ex -- I will be her hero.
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Old 12-15-2003, 10:27 PM   #2 (permalink)
green
 
love the poems, great rhythym there. sadly something i tend to lack.

keep posting when you write!
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Old 12-16-2003, 10:26 AM   #3 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Dingden, DE / Centennial, CO
Excellent stuff, man. Writing sonnets can be tough.
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Old 12-16-2003, 11:19 PM   #4 (permalink)
H12
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I like "The One That I Love So" best myself, but I think both are pretty good. If I get any more ideas, I'll post 'em. And yes, sonnet-writing IS tough.
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Old 12-17-2003, 01:59 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Following the light...
Great work! Sonnets are tough to write.
"The One That I Love So" is very close to how I feel about someone, so that poem touched me. Thanks for sharing them with us!
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Old 12-17-2003, 05:53 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Good stuff you have here. Keep up the contributions.
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Old 12-18-2003, 07:43 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Utah
I agree , these are both really good. Thanks
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