A short story by Bing Bing. 650 words. - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

bing bing · 12-07-2003, 03:23 AM

Bing Bing’s random story

Bing Bing sits in the reclining chair at the orthodontist. The house from which the orthodontist works was built in 1992. Bing Bing knows this because there are several dated pictures hanging in the reception. These provide a visual diary of the house’s history.

Though the house looks old from the outside, inside, it looks new. Evidently, it’s been recently renovated. Bing Bing worries about the leaded paint that was present on the walls before the renovation. Did the renovators sand the walls and if so did they use drop sheets to prevent the leaded paint from settling into the carpet? Paint that was made before 1970 can be comprised of much as 50% lead oxide. Bing Bing knows this because he's paranoid about lead contamination. When he gets home, Bing Bing will certainly shower until his skin is red raw and half the bar of soap is gone. He'll also drink a liter of milk as it hinders lead absorption. He's obviously more worried about plumbism than he is renal calculus.

Bar their yellow hue, the orthodontist’s teeth are perfect. He's obviously a smoker or a heavy coffee drinker. His teeth are so straight that they look like they've been filed. Bing Bing wonders if having a nice set of teeth is one of the prerequisites to getting into orthodontistry at university.

While the orthodontist sits when he’s working, the nurse stands. She’s brunette, thin and pretty. Her face is cute even though she has moderate acne. She couldn't be any older than 23. The pants she's wearing are black and figure hugging and her top is a small white blouse. On her teeth are gold braces. Bing Bing wonders if she got a discount.

The week earlier, Bing Bing had his braces removed.

"Come back in a week and I’ll give you your retainer" said the orthodontist.

If you don't use a retainer after you have braces removed, you're teeth slowly migrate into their original position. Most people who've had braces don't want this yet most don’t wear their retainer as religiously as they should.

"As soon as i get married, I’m not even gonna wear it when I sleep" Bing Bing's friend Cavil once said. Bing Bing laughed.

When you're getting your retainer fitted, you're presented with one of those situations in which you're stuck with the inability to swallow your saliva. That is, the orthodontist and nurse have got so many instruments in your mouth that swallowing is more an impossibility than just a difficult task.

The orthodontist sees the saliva build into an uncomfortable sized reservoir in the back of Bing Bing's mouth.

"Vacuum please" Says the dentist with a tone of urgency. He could see that Bing Bing was about to drown.

The vacuum is small and thin, covered in a plastic jacket that's fits like a condom. This is obviously to ensure sterility. When you try to suck the last few drops of a McDonalds thick shake through a straw, that's the annoying noise it makes only it's amplified ten fold.

Adhering to the request, the nurse promptly picks up the vacuum pushes it into the back of Bing Bing's mouth. She learnt how to vacuum in her first year of her university. At university and in fields such as osteopathy, physiotherapy and dentistry etcetera, student’s pseudo-treat each other. She’s no doubt done this to others and had this done to her more times than she can count.

While it's designed to suck, the vacuum somehow pushes the pool saliva with such ferocity that it's not only expelled from Bing Bing's mouth, but splashes the nurse in her pretty face. Analyzing the situation, the nurse’s sympathetic nervous system activates her fight flight response and she immediately recoils and steps back. Back in year seven, Bing Bing saw a similar response by a female porn-star to a male orgasm in the first porn video he watched ever watched.

The look on the Nurse's face is one of bemusement. Bing Bing could tell that she'd never been in such a situation. Certainly one in which a patients bodily fluids somehow made their onto her face anyway.

"Don't worry..." Bing Bing says, "I've never had herpes".

Gortexfogg · 12-10-2003, 03:50 PM

Very charming story and detail. The ending is great too.

Aphrodite · 12-10-2003, 05:05 PM

Deja vu.... hey bing bing! *waves*

chavos · 12-10-2003, 07:21 PM

nuerotic characters are a great starting point...and the ending is great and quirky.

maybe work on showing your character's traits less than you tell us. Give an example, don't state the rule... but that would require more length...but i think this story has room to grow. thanks for sharing it with us.

J.R.V.A. · 12-18-2003, 07:35 AM

Yes, I reallyt liked this also. The ending was pretty funny, Thanks

12-07-2003, 03:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
bing bing Addict Location: Melbourne, Australia	A short story by Bing Bing. 650 words. Bing Bing’s random story Bing Bing sits in the reclining chair at the orthodontist. The house from which the orthodontist works was built in 1992. Bing Bing knows this because there are several dated pictures hanging in the reception. These provide a visual diary of the house’s history. Though the house looks old from the outside, inside, it looks new. Evidently, it’s been recently renovated. Bing Bing worries about the leaded paint that was present on the walls before the renovation. Did the renovators sand the walls and if so did they use drop sheets to prevent the leaded paint from settling into the carpet? Paint that was made before 1970 can be comprised of much as 50% lead oxide. Bing Bing knows this because he's paranoid about lead contamination. When he gets home, Bing Bing will certainly shower until his skin is red raw and half the bar of soap is gone. He'll also drink a liter of milk as it hinders lead absorption. He's obviously more worried about plumbism than he is renal calculus. Bar their yellow hue, the orthodontist’s teeth are perfect. He's obviously a smoker or a heavy coffee drinker. His teeth are so straight that they look like they've been filed. Bing Bing wonders if having a nice set of teeth is one of the prerequisites to getting into orthodontistry at university. While the orthodontist sits when he’s working, the nurse stands. She’s brunette, thin and pretty. Her face is cute even though she has moderate acne. She couldn't be any older than 23. The pants she's wearing are black and figure hugging and her top is a small white blouse. On her teeth are gold braces. Bing Bing wonders if she got a discount. The week earlier, Bing Bing had his braces removed. "Come back in a week and I’ll give you your retainer" said the orthodontist. If you don't use a retainer after you have braces removed, you're teeth slowly migrate into their original position. Most people who've had braces don't want this yet most don’t wear their retainer as religiously as they should. "As soon as i get married, I’m not even gonna wear it when I sleep" Bing Bing's friend Cavil once said. Bing Bing laughed. When you're getting your retainer fitted, you're presented with one of those situations in which you're stuck with the inability to swallow your saliva. That is, the orthodontist and nurse have got so many instruments in your mouth that swallowing is more an impossibility than just a difficult task. The orthodontist sees the saliva build into an uncomfortable sized reservoir in the back of Bing Bing's mouth. "Vacuum please" Says the dentist with a tone of urgency. He could see that Bing Bing was about to drown. The vacuum is small and thin, covered in a plastic jacket that's fits like a condom. This is obviously to ensure sterility. When you try to suck the last few drops of a McDonalds thick shake through a straw, that's the annoying noise it makes only it's amplified ten fold. Adhering to the request, the nurse promptly picks up the vacuum pushes it into the back of Bing Bing's mouth. She learnt how to vacuum in her first year of her university. At university and in fields such as osteopathy, physiotherapy and dentistry etcetera, student’s pseudo-treat each other. She’s no doubt done this to others and had this done to her more times than she can count. While it's designed to suck, the vacuum somehow pushes the pool saliva with such ferocity that it's not only expelled from Bing Bing's mouth, but splashes the nurse in her pretty face. Analyzing the situation, the nurse’s sympathetic nervous system activates her fight flight response and she immediately recoils and steps back. Back in year seven, Bing Bing saw a similar response by a female porn-star to a male orgasm in the first porn video he watched ever watched. The look on the Nurse's face is one of bemusement. Bing Bing could tell that she'd never been in such a situation. Certainly one in which a patients bodily fluids somehow made their onto her face anyway. "Don't worry..." Bing Bing says, "I've never had herpes". Last edited by bing bing; 12-07-2003 at 03:26 AM..

12-18-2003, 07:35 AM	#5 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	Yes, I reallyt liked this also. The ending was pretty funny, Thanks __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

12-10-2003, 03:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
Gortexfogg I and I Location: Stillwater, OK	Very charming story and detail. The ending is great too.

12-10-2003, 05:05 PM	#3 (permalink)
Aphrodite Tilted Location: Lost in the pages of a book full of death	Deja vu.... hey bing bing! waves

12-10-2003, 07:21 PM	#4 (permalink)
chavos Banned Location: St. Paul, MN	nuerotic characters are a great starting point...and the ending is great and quirky. maybe work on showing your character's traits less than you tell us. Give an example, don't state the rule... but that would require more length...but i think this story has room to grow. thanks for sharing it with us.