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Old 10-21-2003, 07:14 PM   #1 (permalink)
Naughty Just Right
 
Angel's Avatar
 
Location: Euphoria
My first and last attempt at a story.

*
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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus

Last edited by Angel; 07-30-2004 at 08:32 PM..
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Old 10-21-2003, 07:22 PM   #2 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Utah
And you realize that is'nt your fingers.......

WOOWWWEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

Hmmmmmmmmmm.....

I really hope this is'nt your last story....And you said you could'nt write
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And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart
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Old 10-22-2003, 12:50 AM   #3 (permalink)
I change
 
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Location: USA
the close personal emphasis and attention to detail are what makes writing such a deep psychological experience. this is a real cool example of very focused work.
thanks!
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create evolution
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Old 10-23-2003, 11:25 AM   #4 (permalink)
Thats MR. Muffin Face now
 
losthellhound's Avatar
 
Location: Everywhere work sends me
very well done. I love it.. You really should write more..
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"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death
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Old 10-23-2003, 11:33 AM   #5 (permalink)
Keep on rolling. It only hurts for a little while.
 
Location: wherever I am
That was a great read. Enough build-up to the action without drawing the story out too long. Very intense.
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So, what's your point?

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Old 10-23-2003, 03:31 PM   #6 (permalink)
Naughty Just Right
 
Angel's Avatar
 
Location: Euphoria
Thank you all for your feed back. I still keep coming back and tinkering with pulling it off the board but something keeps me keeping it here. heh
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In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus
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Old 02-21-2004, 09:09 AM   #7 (permalink)
xim
Insane
 
Location: One with the Universe
................damn and my girlfriend's at school!!!
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If I could be anyone in the world I would be Britney Spears. Shes in so many commercials about pepsi... www.ximcity.com
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Old 02-21-2004, 06:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
Boy am I horny today
 
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Location: T O L E D O, Toledo!!
Very nice, I could put myself right there with you.
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Old 02-22-2004, 02:22 PM   #9 (permalink)
Psycho
 
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Location: i live in the state of denial
well written, excellent sensory detail, and very provocative. just reading it made me wish.......well, nevermind, but don't stop writing with this one
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Old 03-16-2004, 09:50 AM   #10 (permalink)
Still fighting it.
 
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Don't pull it down, it's probably the best written thing on here. It would be a tragedy if you didn't write more. Trust me, I'm a professional
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Old 04-12-2004, 01:27 PM   #11 (permalink)
Psycho
 
Location: Springfield, USA
the story was excellent! something about the style of writing that really keeps you interested. I hope you keep up the great work, I only wish i could write that well. Thanks!
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Old 04-12-2004, 03:53 PM   #12 (permalink)
In transition
 
Location: north, no south abit, over to the right, getting warmer...there!
That was an excelent piece of writing. Amazing use of words, that almost made me feel as if I was there watching you. Keep on writing, that was great, thanks.
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