Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community  

Go Back   Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community > Creativity > Tilted Literature


 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 10-08-2003, 04:18 PM   #1 (permalink)
Fledgling Dead Head
 
krwlz's Avatar
 
Location: Clarkson U.
Prologue to a Medieval Fantasy

Im planning on writing a medieval dfantasy type of short novel. Today, I wrote the prologue:

Well, here it goes, tell me what you think...

______________

PROLOGUE

A grizzled veteran watched from the city wall as the stream and meadow that bordered the east side of the city came in to focus in the light of the rising sun. This was Gregg’s favorite moment of the day, a moment when he could watch the animals that lived off this meadow roam freely, before the noise of the daily bustle could frighten them back into the silent recluse of the surrounding woods.
He watched as a blue heron, the symbol of his city, fished in the clear water of the stream. As the heron was about to prey on a tiny minnow, a noise made the bird pick up his head, and stare intently at the surrounding woods. Gregg turned his gaze to where the bird’s attention was focused, just in time to see the first rank of what seemed to be an innumerable army, exit the woods and break into a charge at the wall, screaming war cries.
The warning bells called all men at arms to the wall and Gregg struggled to his feet. He looked in horror as the poor heron struggled to escape the madness that now encompassed the meadow. It was then he heard the shout, followed by hundreds of long bows letting loose their deadly shafts. The hail of arrows took the helpless bird out of the sky as they fell into the masses of warriors below.
Gregg could not help but consider what kind of omen the trampled and dieing heron represented for his dear city. He did not consider long however, for it was now that the first of the scaling ladders rose above the wall before his face.
The veteran loosed his long sword from its scabbard, and hastily bent to scope up his shield as the face of a screaming warrior appeared at the top of a ladder, and he lashed out blindly with his shield. The brutal smash to the face sent the enemy screaming to the ground, but Gregg hardly had time to fully gain his feet when another warrior replaced the one he had just dispatched.
Gregg opened the man’s throat in a shower of blood, before he could climb fully over the wall. Gregg let the body hit the cold stone, as training and experience took over.
He rushed forward to throw the ladder from the wall before more men could ascend to Gregg’s level.
He had the satisfaction of seeing the ladder crash to the ground before he turned to help his fellow defenders fight back the human tidal wave that was spilling onto the wall in more and more locations. It was not long before Gregg found himself surrounded on both sides by a wall of enemies. Fight as he may, the clear space around him slowly shrank back toward him.
Soon the swarm of men fought through Gregg’s defenses, and overcame him by sheer mass. As he lay on the cool stones on the castle wall, Gregg could see the sun just now clearing the horizon.
“Well”, he decided, as his vision began to diminish to a black nothingness, “At least it was a beautiful morning…”
The image of the mutilated and trampled heron replaced the sun as Gregg’s last breath rattled in his chest.

EDITED: Because I made changes to the original

Last edited by krwlz; 10-12-2003 at 02:10 PM..
krwlz is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 04:29 PM   #2 (permalink)
Crazy
 
Location: The Desert Southwest
Very good, what else can I say.
funbob is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 04:49 PM   #3 (permalink)
Fledgling Dead Head
 
krwlz's Avatar
 
Location: Clarkson U.
Thank you... I was hoping for criticizim... being as its one of the first times I ever wrote fiction.
krwlz is offline  
Old 10-08-2003, 08:58 PM   #4 (permalink)
Giggity Giggity!!
 
GuttersnipeXL's Avatar
 
Location: N'York
Why did the heron have to get mutilated and trampled? Animal cruelty isn't cool. Enough of that...it's good man...I want to read more, which is a good start. Why the army? What's the beef with the city, on such a glorious morning? Who is Gregg really? Why is he such a hack and slash badass? Who did he train with...why has he battled before? More, More!
__________________
When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro. HST
GuttersnipeXL is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 04:55 PM   #5 (permalink)
Fledgling Dead Head
 
krwlz's Avatar
 
Location: Clarkson U.
bump....
krwlz is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 05:27 PM   #6 (permalink)
Naughty Just Right
 
Angel's Avatar
 
Location: Euphoria
Thanks for bumping! I hadn't seen this yet so I'm glad you brought it to the forefront.
You have a great knack for writing my dear. Especially since this is your first attempt at fiction. Quite a vivid imagination and the ability to portray it and draw the reader in and leave them wanting more.
Hope you plan to feed our desires.
__________________


In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer.
~Albert Camus

Last edited by Angel; 10-11-2003 at 06:54 PM..
Angel is offline  
Old 10-11-2003, 06:12 PM   #7 (permalink)
Fledgling Dead Head
 
krwlz's Avatar
 
Location: Clarkson U.
Thats the idea I think. Perhaps as I finish the chapters, I will post them here.
krwlz is offline  
Old 10-17-2003, 03:00 PM   #8 (permalink)
Junkie
 
Location: Utah
Good work,Thanks
__________________
And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart
J.R.V.A. is offline  
Old 10-18-2003, 11:53 PM   #9 (permalink)
Thats MR. Muffin Face now
 
losthellhound's Avatar
 
Location: Everywhere work sends me
very well done. The imagery is very good.. Especially with the foreshadowing (Well not really foreshadowing, more like.. umm.. symbolism, thats what I was looking for)..

There are subtle hints there too.. The fact the city was obviously not thinking they would ever be attacked (No city that is expecting any sort of attack will ever come would have a forest that close to the city, and have a wall that low)..

great stuff, need to see more to get an idea of the story
__________________
"Life is possible only with illusions. And so, the question for the science of mental health must become an absolutely new and revolutionary one, yet one that reflects the essence of the human condition: On what level of illusion does one live?"
-- Ernest Becker, The Denial of Death
losthellhound is offline  
 

Tags
book, planning, prologue, writing, wrote

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:31 AM.

Tilted Forum Project

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0 PL2
© 2002-2012 Tilted Forum Project

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 191 192 193 194 195 196 197 198 199 200 201 202 203 204 205 206 207 208 209 210 211 212 213 214 215 216 217 218 219 220 221 222 223 224 225 226 227 228 229 230 231 232 233 234 235 236 237 238 239 240 241 242 243 244 245 246 247 248 249 250 251 252 253 254 255 256 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 268 269 270 271 272 273 274 275 276 277 278 279 280 281 282 283 284 285 286 287 288 289 290 291 292 293 294 295 296 297 298 299 300 301 302 303 304 305 306 307 308 309 310 311 312 313 314 315 316 317 318 319 320 321 322 323 324 325 326 327 328 329 330 331 332 333 334 335 336 337 338 339 340 341 342 343 344 345 346 347 348 349 350 351 352 353 354 355 356 357 358 359 360