Picture - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Atropos4 · 04-22-2003, 11:24 AM

Picture

Aren't you a pretty picture
Painted in just the right way
But the magic brush that painted you
Isn't here today
Rain rushes in the window
Your colors fade and run
Standing naked in the daylight
The hole burns out the sun
You try to collect
What you think you've lost
The colors fade faster
You sink in the frost
Drowning in the colors
You can't scream, but try
Where are your magical painters now
Your image was a lie

Angel · 04-22-2003, 05:13 PM

Wowee! Good stuff here!
Thank you for sharing.

scarebearjinx · 04-22-2003, 09:55 PM

wow, that was powerful and kind of angry. i like it. hope to hear more from you.

little limey · 04-23-2003, 05:42 PM

That reminds me of tht story.. I can't remember the name. It's the Portrait of somebody. As he changes so does the painting. It is a dark story.

Plummie · 04-24-2003, 08:57 AM

I really like your poem. Thank you for sharing.

kairaan · 04-24-2003, 09:15 AM

I always love to see who people are when they are stripped of their pretenses...

If I may offer, though, the rhythm is a little rough between "You try to collect" and "You sink in the frost." Just a thought. Otherwise, another great poem!

J.R.V.A. · 04-24-2003, 02:56 PM

Good stuff

Golux · 04-24-2003, 10:24 PM

I love poetry with meter, it always makes it more powerful. Wonderful job! Keep it up!

Dorian_S · 04-25-2003, 12:32 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by little limey
That reminds me of tht story.. I can't remember the name. It's the Portrait of somebody. As he changes so does the painting. It is a dark story.

I believe you're talking about The Picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde. An excellent book by an excellent author.

04-22-2003, 11:24 AM	#1 (permalink)
Atropos4 Think about it Location: North Carolina	Picture Picture Aren't you a pretty picture Painted in just the right way But the magic brush that painted you Isn't here today Rain rushes in the window Your colors fade and run Standing naked in the daylight The hole burns out the sun You try to collect What you think you've lost The colors fade faster You sink in the frost Drowning in the colors You can't scream, but try Where are your magical painters now Your image was a lie __________________ Minds are like parachutes. They work better open. "If I were Hermione, I would have licked his pantleg."

04-22-2003, 05:13 PM	#2 (permalink)
Angel Naughty Just Right Location: Euphoria	Wowee! Good stuff here! Thank you for sharing. __________________ In the depth of winter, I finally learned that there was within me an invincible summer. ~Albert Camus

04-24-2003, 08:57 AM	#5 (permalink)
Plummie Liquid Diamonds Location: Lexington, KY	I really like your poem. Thank you for sharing. __________________ Kim

04-24-2003, 02:56 PM	#7 (permalink)
J.R.V.A. Junkie Location: Utah	Good stuff __________________ And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart

04-22-2003, 09:55 PM	#3 (permalink)
scarebearjinx Psycho Location: in a deep, dark hole where rainbow creatures attack me to eat my fingernails.	wow, that was powerful and kind of angry. i like it. hope to hear more from you.

04-23-2003, 05:42 PM	#4 (permalink)
little limey Psycho Location: Room Nineteen	That reminds me of tht story.. I can't remember the name. It's the Portrait of somebody. As he changes so does the painting. It is a dark story.

04-24-2003, 09:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
kairaan Banned	I always love to see who people are when they are stripped of their pretenses... If I may offer, though, the rhythm is a little rough between "You try to collect" and "You sink in the frost." Just a thought. Otherwise, another great poem!

04-24-2003, 10:24 PM	#8 (permalink)
Golux Tilted Location: This side of heaven.	I love poetry with meter, it always makes it more powerful. Wonderful job! Keep it up!