TFP Keepin' It Real: Tha Freestylin' Thread
 

Any rhymes ever come in off the top of your head? Could they fit into an infectious groove or some fat beat?

Can't get them out of your head?

Share them here. Even if they don't make any sense.

Come up with new ones as you play.

I'll kick this thing off.

It goes a lil' sumptin' like this....

* * * * *

I got keys! ...like honey's got bees!
I got more rhymes than a clock's got chimes.
My humour I'll practice like Zach Galifianakis.



[Take the mic!]

my brain
is in pain...

...but it won't be forever
if this Tylenol is clever....

To deal with the pain,
better to be insane?
Kiss me where it hurts
Remove my shirt, your skirt

This rhyme is for all you ladies....
Is this TFP or Hades?
Cuz I think I just up and died,
My heart rate megamultiplied.

Meg? she was my favorite girl
though the peg, her leg, caused us quite the swirl
I hope she returns
puts my ashes in her urns.

You went after that quaker?
that peg was a Shaker
she hung up her jacket
you started this racket

Don't you dare bring a judgement down on me.
I'm thinkin' this is some kind of conspiracy.
Ain't no quakers or shakers up in here,
But a pegger is a pegger, and ain't nothin' to fear.

...but fear itself? Who said that?
Instead of going with Robin, I'm waiting for Bat.
Now I'm gonna sit on my stoop and think up some rap,
In the meantime, don't give me no crap!

Could the wordsmith from urban Toronto
Disappear from his favorite haunto?
Could his latest nexus
Be somewhere in Texas
Where he'd face the Lone Ranger and Tonto?

You 'Mericans may try to haze me
But your rhymes don't even phase me
Call me mean and lazy
Just don't be callin' me Daisy

Canadians are Americans, too.
In case you didn't notice, I'm tellin' you.
So don't you try to make a rift.
Just get your ass in gear and shift.

I could be drivin' Miss Daisy now,
but last I saw she was a crack whore cow.
So it's kinda hard to give her a kiss,
Without feelin' like I'm missin' the bliss.

I'm the Wordsmith from the North in T-dot, O.
If y'all think you can top me, it sure don't show.

I'm Baraka the Guru, I forum moderate.
I log, I post, I ban, I participate.

Canadian, American, I ain't nationalized.
That shit ain't fo' real, it's all synthesized!

Now you're talkin' like a true hue man
If I'm lying do your mod thing and ban
The lines on maps are like fake tits
For now I got no more word bits.

Talk about "tits" where's that unc
He's a real tit-man, and I hear a hunk.

a hunk of a man
with a broader brain-pan
than some others on top do conceive

Got the feeling his libel
will beat out the bible
regarding what we can receive

Nice rack sweater puppies big knockers great tits!
(other terms kept close to the vest)
Men and boys stare and whistle and oogle and point!
(make a fool of yourself like the rest)
Cuz you'll never know nuthin' you ignorant boob!
'Til you've carried around my chest.

Here, Lindy, let me help you with those.
I can see from here they block the view of your toes.
I'm offering to help cause I was a Boy Scout.
Don't suspect my motives or have any doubt.

You cannot hide
from eagle-eyed Nick.

While you're spyin' on the chicks
eyes so wide

He's nickin' your Bisquick.

Cannot hide
from eagle-eye Nick.

I eye the chicks; I ain't no liar.
I spin the mix; I'm a high flier.

Watchin' the flicks, not for the gunfire—
I'm watchin' for kicks, and a deep desire!

Hey Nick, don't be thick, I've heard all that before.
And I know how you'd like to just clamber aboard.
You think I'd be happy to take your dictation
But it ain't gonna happen (except in dream-nation.)

My school of kickin' it ain't that old,
But like your shoulder, the weather is turnin' cold.

The grill in your mouth is fool's gold.
What I'm tellin' you now is you just got told.

Now I'm bringin' it down for the holiday cheer.
With the eatin' of pies and the drinkin' of beer.

So you better take the time to pause,
To let out some hurrahs and guffaws.

There will always be a grandfather clause,
on believing in ol' Santa Claus.

You can have your reason, truth, and evidence,
but I'll keep my love for the season's brilliance.

Say what you want, do what you will
I'll be doin' it for da thrill

Santa, sweetie, you be da man
I will always be your biggest fan
So when the chimney opens wide
Do be sure we don't collide

'Cause if we do, ain't no guarantee
But we will fill Christmas with glee.

Say what???