wolf

Will felt a little nervous as he walked slowly into the funeral parlor, he didn’t know quite how to behave. He’d been to wakes before, but they were usually for some distant relative, twice removed, or some old friend of his grandparents he’d met a couple of times at the beach when he family went with Grandma and Grandpa to the shore. Will had only once been to a funeral that really hit him hard. He couldn’t think about it right now.

He looked around the room and everything was a blur of color, he knew there were chairs and flowers, and the walls were a pale pink. He knew the lighting was kept low and most people in the room were dressed in black or some other dark color. Will felt a shiver run up his back and his skin grow cold.

“I know I can get through this, come on you’re 20 years old” Will thought to himself. “I just need to sit for a few minutes, and then I’ll go stand with Mom and Dad”. Will knew he wasn’t comfortable with how he felt, his stomach and his head were battling it out and Will felt he was in the middle.

Through his blurred vision Will saw an empty chair and his Uncle Frank sitting in the chair next to it. When he turned his head to look around the room everything else was still blurry, only this one small piece of the room was clear, crystal clear, like a narrow tunnel of his vision carved out through the dense walls of blur. Will noticed the dark mahogany frame of the chair and the upholstery matching the pale pink of the walls and floor, he dared not look ahead at the coffin, rather just continuing to aim for the chair.

Will walked slowly and soon enough found himself sitting in the chair next to his Uncle Frank. His stomach decided to wave the white flag and call a truce with his head. Will was grateful his head had won the battle, perhaps even the war. Unfortunately, Will’s eyes would not focus and allow him to see the surrounding room; everything was a blur of color.

“Hey ya kid” Uncle Frank said as he turned his head to look at Will. Will always loved his Uncle Frank, his father’s older brother. With no kids of his own Uncle Frank was like a second father to Will, taking him and his younger brother, Ben, out for ice cream or to the movies, the ones his mother didn’t want them to see. When the latest action movie or the newest horror movie would come out and Mom said “No, that’s far to violent or scary for you boys” Uncle Frank would come to the rescue. He’s come in and tell their Mother he was taking them out shopping, or out for dinner, and as soon as they’d let the door of their house close behind them; Uncle Frank would produce three tickets to the “forbidden” movie.

“Hi Uncle Frank, how have you been?” asked Will as he righted himself in the chair and sat back on the soft cushioning of the chair.


“I’m doing great kiddo, never better, though I’ve never liked these things, I don’t like seeing people sad.” Uncle Frank smiled at Will

Will smiled back and looked at Uncle Frank. He always liked his clear blue eyes, still visible behind the steel rimmed glasses. Will felt safe with Uncle Frank, he always knew everything would be good when he came around. Uncle Frank always dressed well, not flashy or overstated, but he looked like a handsome older gentleman. Will was always curious why he didn’t remarry after the death of his wife. Uncle Frank said he was happy being with his nephews and living alone. Will never knew Aunt Alice, she died before he was born, but, he knew Uncle Frank loved her more than anything.

Will tried once more to look around the room, but everything was still a blur and it made him start to feel nauseas again, so he stopped and looked at Uncle Frank who was in perfect vision. He could hear the sounds of people whispering around him, obviously talking about the death and how sad they were. Will heard someone talk about how his mother was holding up so well, another telling a joke to ease the tension, and others just were sobbing softly to themselves.

“Uncle Frank, why can’t I see?” Will asked
“I believe it is the shock of it all” he replied. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much, your vision will clear.”

Will sat and contemplated the shock, he couldn’t understand what shock, he couldn’t even remember who died, was his memory going? He was frightened, and then figured it was a part of the shock and when his vision returned his memory would too. Yet, he could remember everything about his childhood, just not anything about why he was here.

“Uncle Frank, I’m scared, where do you go when you die?” Will asked, never having been overly religious he really had never explored the thought. He knew Uncle Frank was spiritual, not belonging to a religion which comforted him; he wasn’t in the mood for the sermon on why he was going to hell for not attending church.

It was then that Uncle Frank turned to him and started to talk in that nice soft melodic tone that always made Will feel like everything would be ok.

“Well, I can tell you there is nothing to be afraid about Will; we go wherever we’re supposed to go. Uncle Frank explained

“Yeah, but where is that?” Will pressed

Uncle Frank smiled that big smile through the wrinkles of an older man and said “That depends on the person Will. See, most people think that when they die there will be some being much more powerful than themselves who will judge how they lived their lives and the deeds they have done. Then, their soul will go to heaven or hell depending on how well their lives were lived.”

“So you don’t believe that Uncle Frank?” Will questioned

“No, I’m afraid not, I believe there is a much more powerful judge out there Will, one who can truly see who is worthy and who isn’t.”
“Really, who would that be? Will was puzzled, he thought about who was a better judge than the god he had heard about at church when he was young.

“Think about it Will, who knows you better than anyone else, who has been there to see all of the decisions you have made, all of them even when no one was around.” Uncle Frank challenged Will to think

Will thought about it for a while, he thought about his parents, god, and racked his brain about anyone else he could think of.

“I guess the only person would be me.” Will finally replied.

“Exactly, who better to determine what happens to your soul than you. We are often the hardest critics of ourselves than anyone else could be Will.” Uncle Frank explained with a smile.

Will thought about this and started to relax, he also noticed that he could see a little bit more in front of him now, there were some chairs lined up and some people he thought he’d met once at a family wedding were in them talking in a small group. He could hear his mother crying somewhere in the room and heard the footsteps on the carpet as people rushed to help her.

“Should I go to her Uncle Frank?” Will asked, though he still didn’t think he could make it over to where he heard the cries coming from.

“Sit with me a bit longer Will; there’ll be time for you to see your Mom.” Uncle Frank explained.

“Do you think she’ll be ok?” Will asked.

“She needs time Will, she’ll heal and the memories of the good times will help to ease the pain and the heartache. We all deal with loss in our own way Will, some people tell jokes and laugh, others cry, some people get really quiet and depressed, others busy themselves and try not to think about it too much. Everyone knows that death is a part of life, we know we’ll all die someday, we’ll all have to say goodbye to those we love and move on to what lies next.” Uncle Frank explained in that voice that just made Will feel alright.


Will tried to focus on the casket, he could see where it was, it was the long brown rectangle at the front of the room, he could see the mosaic of color on top of the brown, and knew it was a large bouquet of flowers. He could still not see who was lying in the casket. Will could make out some figures standing in a line near the coffin, they were dressed in black and white, he could make out some other colors now as well.

“Do you think it hurts Uncle Frank?” Will asked

“What’s that kiddo?” Uncle Frank asked him back

“Well, um, dying, do you think it hurts to die?” Will asked back to him

“I imagine that all depends on how someone dies Will. Dying in and of itself, no, I think it is a very peaceful process where you go into almost a trance like state and your body slowly starts to shut things down. You become almost Zen, one with the world and then slowly allow your soul to slip away from your body, like going to sleep on a cloud.”

“You make it sound so nice Uncle Frank.” Will smiled.

“Well, it is a part of life, and well, not to sound suicidal, but it should be nice and peaceful, sure there are deaths which are painful and not so nice, but I think those are the exception not the rule.” Uncle Frank said and nodded a hello to someone who passed by.

“If death is so peaceful and graceful, and you go where you are supposed to go, then why can’t I see, why am I in shock?” Will started to go from scared to angry, he wanted to see, he wanted to know who was in the casket, and he wanted to make sure his Mom was ok. “Oh no” he thought about his younger brother. Where was Ben, he hadn’t heard him, he certainly couldn’t see him. He started to understand the shock; that must be it; he lost his younger brother, but how? How could he have died? It was then that Will began to cry.

Uncle Frank rubbed Will’s back and did his best to comfort him.

“Will I ever see him again Uncle Frank?” Will asked through the tears which he started to feel running down his cheeks staining his face as they ran.

“Someday, someday you’ll see him Will” Uncle Frank smiled and continued to console Will by rubbing his back.


“Do you really believe that Uncle Frank, I know people say it, but do you really believe I will see my brother again?” Will asked

“Yes, Will I really do believe you will see your brother again, I know you will see him again.” Uncle Frank said with a smile.

“How can you be so sure? Will inquired.

“Because you love him Will, you love him with all of your heart.” Uncle Frank explained.

“This can’t be happening, how could this have happened?” Will put his face to his hands as he asked the question hoping Uncle Frank had an answer; not sure he wanted to hear it.

“It was an accident Will, there was nothing that could have been done.” Uncle Frank replied

Will looked up and he could see more of the room now. He could see the pictures on the wall, he could make out some of the people in the room, some of the people standing across the room from him. He saw some of his Aunts and Uncles, he saw other family members he hadn’t seen in a while. Quickly, Will turned his head to the front of the room to see if he could see the coffin, he could make out half of the coffin. He could see the large bouquet of flowers sitting atop the coffin with a large bow in the middle, extending down from the bow was a ribbon upon which the word “Son” was written in gold glitter. Will closed his eyes confirming his suspicions about his brother. He was grief stricken, he thought about all of the things Uncle Frank had told him and he was comforted somewhat. He knew his brother was where he was supposed to be and that it was peaceful. He cried wishing to get one last chance to say goodbye to him, one last chance to call him “goober head”, one last chance to throw the football around their yard with his brother before letting him go.

“It’s never easy, letting go Will, it takes time, and everyday will hurt a little less. You’ll see, everything will be ok in time.” Uncle Frank said to him.

“No, it will never be the same without him Uncle Frank; I don’t know how to go on.” Will cried harder

“We all find a way Will. I felt the same way when your Aunt Alice died. I thought there was nothing left for me. It was around that time that you were born, and I knew I’d be ok. I knew she’d want me to be happy and to make you boys happy, so that’s exactly what I did.” Uncle Frank continued “you find what makes you happy and you put your energy into that.” He said.

Will could see his mother now, she looked pale and the mascara was running under her eyes, she had some tissues balled up in her hands. Will wanted to go and get her new ones. He wanted to tell her that he’d be here for her and his father that they would remember the good times and they would get through this, together, because that’s what Ben would have wanted. He saw his father’s arm around his mother, holding her up, keeping her strong and Will smiled a bit, and his father had always been there for his family. He was the rock that kept them all safe.

“My dad looks good” Will said

“My brother was always good at these things. I can remember when our father died, he was really there for your Grandmother. I’m not really any good at these things; I fall to pieces too quickly. David was always better at being a rock than I was.” Uncle Frank explained to Will.

Will looked and still couldn’t see the head of the coffin. Where there was a tunnel of clarity when he first entered the room, now there was a tunnel of blur leading the front of the casket. Will crooked his eyebrow and thought this was very strange. He leaded over and grabbed a few tissues to hand to his mother and started to get up. Uncle Frank looked at him and smiled, it was obvious that he was happy Will had the urge to get up. Will smiled back and looked toward his mother before getting up. He looked to the right and saw his brother Ben walk from behind his father. Will fell back into the chair and his eyes became wide like saucers.

“I don’t….. He’s ok! Ben, you’re ok!” Will said and watched as his brother walked to the other side of his mother to help hold her up

Will noticed his brother didn’t even acknowledge him.

“Wait, if he’s ok, then who’s….?” Will let the question trail off, he didn’t need to say it. He looked down and noticed there weren’t any tissues in his hand.

“Uncle Frank?” Will asked with a shaky voice

“Yeah kiddo.” Uncle Frank made it more of a statement than a question.

Will looked forward and saw his face starting up from the casket, his hands were folded and his eyes were shut. Next to him were poster boards of him with his family, others with his friends, and still more with his football teammates.

“Like I said kiddo, it was an accident; there was nothing that could have been done.” Uncle Frank sighed.

Will thought back, he remembered he was at football practice he could still smell the autumn air and the freshly cut grass. He felt himself yelling out the count and the ball being snapped into his hands. The scene played in slow motion as he took a few steps back and looked for an open receiver. He remembered being hit at an odd angle and seeing his feet go over his head as he was spun upside down. Will didn’t remember hearing his neck snap as he hit the ground. He didn’t remember anything after that. He certainly didn’t remember his coach yelling for him, or the cheerleaders practicing down the field crying as he was carried off of the field. No, the very next thing Will remembered was walking into the funeral home.

“Are you ok Will?” Uncle Frank asked.

Will remembered the last funeral that had hit him really hard. He remembered all of the details of that funeral and wake now.

“Was this how it was when you died Uncle Frank?” Will asked. Will then remembered the morning his mother called him and his brother down from their room to let them know their Uncle Frank had suffered a major heart attack. She was in tears very similar to right now.

“I was a lot older than you were Will, so it was a little easier to accept” Uncle Frank said.

Will looked around the room, he saw all of his friends, the entire football team had come to pay their respects. The coach was explaining again to his mother how sorry he was about everything and if they needed anything to please call. He couldn’t believe what he was seeing. He shook his head to see if that would wake him from the dream, it didn’t work.

“Why am I here Uncle Frank, why bring me to my own wake?” Will asked

“Because Will, your soul was lost, and you couldn’t find your way.” Uncle Frank replied and paused for a moment, then continued “I knew you would find your way to me and the only way for you to see was to bring you here and let you slowly see.” He smiled as he spoke.

“What about my parents, my brother, my future?” Will was still upset.

Uncle Frank smiled to him and looked at his family. “They’ll get through this Will. They will live on, and you will live on in them. You have a future Will, just not the same one you had before.”

“What will I do, where will I go?” Will asked Uncle Frank


“I can’t answer that William, for now I think you should come with me.” Uncle Frank smiled and helped Will to his feet.

Will took a final look around the room, he walked over to his brother and slapped his shoulder. He knew Ben couldn’t feel it, but it made Will feel better. He walked to his father and but his hand on his hand as his father had done to him so many times before during long talks. Will stepped next to his mother and hugged her, he could still smell her perfume and it always reminded him of being safe. Will finally walked up to the coffin and down at himself.

“Not a bad looking kid, huh?” Will said as he turned to his Uncle Frank.

“Not at all William, I think he takes a bit after his Uncle.” Uncle Frank smiled an motioned to the door, he gave a wink and said to Will “there’s someone who’s been waiting a long time to meet you Will.” He smiled that knowing grin of his.

“Aunt Alice?” Will asked

Uncle Frank smiled again and nodded “Come, let’s not keep her waiting.” He said as he started to walk through the doors.

Will walked to the end of the room. He wanted to stay, he wanted things to be different, he wanted to fall in love and to graduate from college. He wanted to play football. He also knew he had a new future, just as Uncle Frank had explained, he knew he’d be ok, he’d go where he was supposed to go. He gave a wave and followed Uncle Frank out of the door, he was excited to meet the family he never knew, he was excited to meet the challenges of this new life. Will watched as the door closed behind him, his old life closing behind him, he walked to another door and started to open it, the light shined through intensely, the light of his new life and with renewed passion he walked straight in without looking back.

__________________
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

J.R.V.A.

This was really good, but in my opinion, I would change the title. I knew the ending before I finished the first sentence.

__________________
And as she plays,
her sweet song of laughter
floats through the air
and warms my heart

Leadman47

Yeah, i saw it coming also. Good story though.

wolf

Thanks, I'll do that.

__________________
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as Gods. Cats have never forgotten this.