Bees

I have recently been suffering some serious bouts of nostalgia for my younger days. I have found that writing stories about my romantic experiences, with the erotic details included, has helped to soothe the sadness that I sometimes still feel. I just finished writing a bittersweet love story about a woman I loved and lost when I was a young man in San Francisco and then found again several years later. The story actually unfolded during online chats I was having with two women, dear friends both, from Europe whom I communicate with in one of those social networking sites.

This story is surrounded by the text of the online chats or "scraps" as we call them. For me the story is inextricably linked with the chats I was having with my two friends as I "wrote" them the story. To make the reading easier I have highlighted the text of the story itself in Blue.
_____________________________________________


March 9, 2008

----10:51 am---

Me too Tatia,
Now that my children are getting older I have a lot more free time than I did before.
Now I have time to look at their pictures and remember them as babes.
Also time to suffer through bouts of nostalgia for my youthful days.

------
DON`T SUFFER,PLEASE,
DEAR RICK,
AS EVERYTHING HAS ITS TIME IN LIFE,
SO WHEN WE GET OLDER,WE NEED TO GET PLEASURE FROM THAT ,
BUT NOT TO SUFFER :-)
AS U KNOW WELL, PAST WON`T BE EVER BACK,
SO NO NEED ....WE LIVE ONCE....ENJOY THE MOMENT U LIVE IN.....
----11:10 am---

I know what you say Tatia, kind friend and I believe...

Still I have to endure sad times sometimes now.

When I am sad as now I find something consoling in sad songs like this one
by Patty Griffin, . I play this when I'm missing my lost love from my youth.[/FONT]


------
u lost your love?
o, my Dear Rick,
I am with u ........I feel sad now that that happened to you

----11:24 am ---


Yannick in San Francisco - 1975

Yes her name is Yannick. I was with her when we lived in San Francisco together.
She had to leave. She is a French woman raised in Southeast Asia.
She had a dream to become a doctor and that is what she did.
To follow her dream she went to medical school in the Philippines.
That is why she had to leave me.....

------
so u left and u didn`t talk to her?
----11:24 am----

It was hard then for me to express what I felt for...
I don't think I really knew how much I loved her until she left.
I did talk to her on phone a few times and we exchanged letters for a while but then after a few years we lost touch.

I wasn't able to tell her what I really felt until I saw her again several years later.

----11:50 am----

After she left I had a tough time. I moved to Los Angeles and struggled for a time there.
I did see her again several years later.
She had returned to the U.S. for a position as a resident doctor in a hospital .
She called my mother to find out what became of me.
My mother gave her my phone number and she called me one evening.
That evening I happened to be preparing to leave on a business trip the next day to...

------
That was another part of this same story that I told to Sveti recently.
Sveti has the same kind of compassion as you do Tatia and same way of letting me unburden myself.
-----

This story now jumps to a chat I had with Sveti about one week earlier...........

March 3, 2008

Yes Sveti she sings such wonderfully sad songs. I have another song by Patty Griffin, Useless Desires, that makes me cry. It makes me cry because when I hear it I remember the last day I lived in San Francisco before I moved to LA in 1976. That was the saddest day of my life.

-----------

That was about 2 months after the only true love I ever had left me to return to Singapore. Her name was Yannick, a French women who was raised in southeast Asia. Her dream since little girl was to become a doctor. The best way she could fulfill her dream was to go to medical school in the Philippines. And that is what she did.

In LA I was a horribly lovesick boy with few friends at first. It took me a very long time to get over it. Eventually I made friends and had some relationships, got married, you know, but there was never anyone again for me like Yannick.

I did see Yannick again several years later. An amazing thing happened. I was living in Seal Beach near LA. I had a steady girl friend, Doreen, who would later become my wife. I was about to leave on a business trip to Chicago and Doreen was on her way to my apartment to cook me a goodbye dinner. Just as Doreen was arriving (from my window I could see her car pull up on the street below) my phone rang....

It was Yannick


Where do think Yannick was calling from?
.
..
...
....
That's right; Chicago

I went to the top of the stairs with the phone to my ear listening to Yannick tell me of her reason for living there.

Doreen opened up the bottom door and looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs with the phone to my ear.
She looked into my eyes and she knew exactly who I was talking to.

You see Sveti I had told Doreen of my love for Yannick and the lovesickness I had gone through.

So Doreen sat at the bottom of the stairs and waited for me to finish.....
---------

That's all I can say about that time now. Obviously this also belongs in my journal.

March 3, 2008

I also start to keep some treasures I get here in a book.
I can feel with you - my greatest love was a girl, Rebecca! She was undecided, disappointed, hurt, naive, like me in those years, those years of being a female beast, without plan, without nothing...from one day to the others - I loved that girl so much, that I get crazy. I didn’t know what happened if I offer her a lesbian love, but I did it, take all my courage and ask her after I had invited her to a dinner. My fear of her reaction was so big, that I run away in the second I have asked her...she was behind me, overtook me and kiss me. I cried, because of happiness! we are young, we had no plans - and then we start making plans - but our relationship was in the end only sex. I think, she was bored from me, and leave me, for a boy she married later...I fall into depressions and think about suicide...all that stuff. My heart was in pieces....and it took time to recreate myself from those wounds!


March 3, 2008

Yes Sveti now I know about that girl in your past now and you know about the girl I......

Well, that's why I can take Tracy Chapman only in small doses because her songs can make me so sad thinking of her......

When we were scrapping before, you know, about possibilities in time? Well a sad Tracy Chapman song was playing then on my iTunes.
It made me think to look on YouTube for one of her songs that might be nice to send to you.

This song

The Promise

The Promise

was the first one I came to.


March 9, 2008

----11:54 am----

When we met in Chicago it was a bittersweet time.

I did bare my soul to her.

I told Yannick how great my love for her was and how I struggled for years to get over her absence.

------
and what happened after u told her what u were feeling?

----11:59 am----

She told me she was just as much in love with me then.

We kissed and hugged; it was a great feeling. We went out to dinner and had great conversation.
Afterward we went back to her place to talk more. Later it was time for me to go back to my hotel.

She told me she wanted me to stay.

-----
u stayed?
if not,why not?

---12:07 pm---

I stayed dear Tatia,

We talked until the wee hours of the night of our great love and times in San Francisco.

Then we went to her bed.

We both had desires and the fire to make passionate love to her like I did in years past burned inside me again.
She calmed her desire and it was very hard for me but I threw water on my fire within.

We whispered in each other's ears and we kissed and we slept through the night arm in arm.
-----
so u didn`t make luv? but why?

---12:17 pm---

Yannick decided it would be best not to and I agreed.
You see she told me that she had a kind of a boy friend at that time.
And I had a steady girl friend at that time that I eventually married about two years later.

So Yannick and I did not make love that night but we spent a blissful night in each other's arms.

The next day I attended my business meetings and Yannick and I made a date to have dinner together again that evening.

------

that would be very difficult and hard to meet the person u love again and again while u know u can`t stay with him ................
it demands lots of courage ........
-----
as afterwards the only thing u may think about is
again and again him/her ...how it would be if you were together...and it hurts...hurts like hell.....

---12:29---

Yes Tatia you know and can express exactly how that would hurt.
------

We went to dinner again that next evening. The warmth between us was even stronger after the night we spent together. Indeed there was a dreaminess in her eyes that told me she still felt strong love and desire for me and I felt the same for her.

Again we went back to her place and like the night before we talked into the wee hours but this time with more kisses and hugs and definitely more passion.

-----
You are telling things awesomely poetically, Rick.....
You should publish all your stories, they are worth it....
You are an awesome writer, really I mean it!

---12:51 pm---

You flatter me dear friend.

But yes when I have these wonderful times scrapping with you and Sveti I record our exchange of scraps in my journal. Otherwise they will get lost under mountains of scrap of which much is the useless desires of immature supplicants.

Soon I would like to combine the separate threads of my love for Yannick into one story and share it with the two of you. With your permissions of course.

Back to the story;
-----

That second night back with Yannick was a more passionate repeat of the night before.

When we went to her bed the passions were burning hotter than before. There was no way of concealing the feelings we could see in each others eyes.

Our lovemaking that night was wonderful. It was not like some of the wild passionate couplings we had in our earlier San Francisco romance.

---1:13 pm---

Yes it was slow, tender and sweet. We had much more intimate eye contact during this lovemaking than I remember having when we were younger. First we took time to gently caress each other and relearn the pleasure places that awaken new arousals and moisten from the touching.

We each tasted of the near forgotten flavors of each other's loins. With my kissing of her moist folds I remembered well how sweet was Yannick's taste. I longed to give her the same heated pleasure as she had just given me with her lush lips and warm tongue smothering my straight member and bringing me so close to the joyful thrill of completion.

-----
.....it was even a better and a more passionate night than ever.....I imagine that ...U were so hungry for each other .....

---1;22 pm---

Yes Tatia we were so hungry for each other. And I think we each had something to give and something to recieve that could only be exchanged right then and right there between two lovers of times past and perhaps lives future.

-----
I AM STUNNED
YOU ARE TALKING SUCH AN INTELLIGENT AND HIGH LANGUAGE OF LOVE,RICK......
I AM STUNNED AND CAPTIVATED BY YOUR STYLE .....
IT`S WONDERFUL.
------
I am very Hungry now to know your story to the end
Yes, I am online, but u send scraps and I will read .....
Please, send all .....
to the end....
I will read

---2:36 pm---

First I must leave her warm folds and sweet moist slit for I need to look into her eyes again to see if she is ready to lose all her remaining inhibitions. I look into her eyes and see that she longs for more. Then she brings her mouth to mine and she tastes of her own feminine juices that are still on my lips. We kiss lips to lips, tongue to tongue. Now I want to begin a new round trip of her luscious and trim body.

I start by kissing all over her face and try to touch each of her senses. So I kiss her closed eyelids and then down the ridge of her nose. I lick the tip of her cute French nose and take it into my mouth a little. Now on to each ear with nibbles on lobes then hot breath and flittering tongue inside were it tickles.

Now back around the mouth and down to the chin wetting her whole face with kisses and lickings. Now kissing and blowing breath all around the neck and away down her spine. Returning again to the front after a tongue tickle under her arm.

---2:43 pm---

Ooo, my God!
I would like to have same night adventure like yours, my first night adventure ......marriage first night adventure........
You are telling tremendously passionate and very intelligent way ....
This longing and lust of a person are shown in your story a very great way ......very much truly expressed as if you are again and again experiencing that hot night`s moments yourself, Rick......

....As soon as you started to tell me such things,
I will afford and allow to myself to tell you stories I write almost daily and subscribe on different sites with different authors` names....as ppl may get me wrong if I say my true name, they won`t believe, it`s a virgin that is writing those things...
I will tell u too ....if U Permit, sure
----3:10 pm---

Of course I permit you, Tatia, pure sweet virgin that you are. For I have other places where I write posts even more risqué and titillating than the sweet tale I tell you here. I feel blessed in true friendship and kindredness that you offer to share your most intimate writings. I would love to share more with you too but away from prying orkuteyes.

I now dedicate my love story of Yannick to my dear Tatia who inspires me so greatly:
-------

Looking down at Yannick's chest my memories flooding back of her skin so creamy white with little freckles here and there. Now my gaze and appetite turns to her sweet and small breasts. I kiss and lick a circle around each one as I see close up the pinkness of the areolas and small cherry tips of her nipples.

I long to take them into my mouth to suckle on each one in turn but first I kiss and lick around each areola. Now quick flicks of tongue to barely touch a tip of nipple. Close up I see her areolas start to shrink into little pink wrinkles with tiny goose bumps surrounding now swollen and erect nipples.
---------

March 11, 2008

--8:54 am----

so wonderful.........
---8:59 am----

Thank you dear Tatia for your nice word to welcome me to this sunny morning.
Amazing!! that you send me this scrap now!!
Because I just now started to look at where I left off with the story of Yannick and I was thinking of you too and how you inspire me to write about it.
------
I inspire you?
It`s you are inspiring me to write more and more :-)
It`s an awesome feeling when u can put on a paper all u think of , u feel and u are inspired to make it live...
------

Yes Tatia YOU INSPIRE ME
and the words you write are so true.
Sveti and I were just scrapping too.
She is going to start a new community here. A forum for amateur writers like us!

---9:11 am---

Anyway I am looking over the Story of Yannick that I wrote WITH YOU yesterday.
I feel like I can write some more today if you can be here with me for awhile.

With your permission of course.
------

Really?That would be wonderful !
------
as I told you,
Dear Rick,
Your scraps are very much adored and admired from my side,
so you are welcome to write always
whenever am online,
whenever am not...
I love to read your scraps so much, that I read them for several times,
so feel free to write to me even if am not online, my dear friend...
----9:40 am---

Better while you are here with me sweet Tatia. Right next to me now.
-----

Now my mouth waters for Yannick's sweet cherry buds. I zero in on one right. Lick the hard nip with tiny circles all around then take it into the warm ' O ' of my mouth. Suck it in between my teeth make it dripping wet with my hot breath.

She moans in delight and writhes under my touch arching her back and twisting to present left breast to my mouth.

As I move to the left one I bring my fingers up to give her still dripping right cherry nip little squeezes.

I take the offered left breast as wholly into my mouth as it will go and now I am wetting it between my panting hard breaths and I also give her back my heart in little moans of my love. "Oh Yannick I love you so."
------

I AM STUNNED BY THE BEAUTY OF THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE YOU ARE WRITING IN, O, RICK....
IT`S JUST ADORABLE HOW U DESCRIBE YOUR MAKING LOVE WITH HER .....
LOVE MAKING WITH U WOULD BE DIVINE AS YOU SEEM TO BE A PERFECT LOVER YOURSELF.....
YOU ARE GORGEOUS AS A WRITER,
I KNOW, IT`S NOT ONLY FANTASIES TO WRITE AND TO PUT WORDS DOWN,
IT`S A TRUE WORLD OF URS, INSIDE WORLD WHICH IS SO RICH AND WEALTHY INSIDE YOU, DEEPLY IN YOUR SOUL, CREATIVE SOUL AND LOVING TRUELY HEART ....

---9:57 am----

Oh what you do for my ego Tatia. Your strokes of my ego are so flattering. If I could but look into your eyes as you tell me the gracious words.
------

I don`t flatter, I say only truth, all what I feel indeed.
See you,
my dear friend,
kisses and hugs all from me------

I could take the infinite pleasure of nurturing in her warm breast for days and days on end but the lust growing in our loins demands that new attentions be paid.


March 15, 2008

Now my mouth leaves treasured breast swollen and dripping and with fingers of each hand on nips I am still gently squeezing.

I begin kissing below breast from ribs across tummy to ribs. Kissing circles round and round the navel.

Tongue plunges into her navel, seeking now poking the bottom and Yannick can't help but giggle and squirm from ticklishness.

I leave a warm little puddle behind and look below to seek where her rich treasure lies buried. I see the narrow path of downy blond hairs that lead down from her navel. This is the treasure trail I now follow with my kisses for I know it leads to discovery of even more riches.

First I kiss all around her mound of soft hair. Then with my nose I rub circles through her hair and feel the downy softness and sniff for hints of her sweet scents. With my nose I probe that firm part of Yannick's clitoral hood and now the probing exposes a little of her cute little bud. I gently caress it with the tip of my tongue and see what a beautiful spring flower it becomes.

Now Yannick completely opens her gate for me and I help her bring up her knees to hold near her chest. This opens the furs that cover the mouth of her welcoming cave. She has a little embroidered pillow on her bed and I place it under her bottom after gently raising her soft cheeks. With the pillow under her Yannick no longer needs to hold onto her knees and she cups her petite breasts in her hands. The pillow also allows her lusciously full, brownish lips to slightly part and I gaze in at the welcoming wetness of her pink slit. I pout my lips and smother kisses on those luscious lips. Then I plunge into her slit with tongue fixed and insert it as far as I can into her cavern opening. I lap up all of her sweet juices and keep kissing and licking everywhere around her sweet slit and lips. Now I take the end of one of her soft lips into my mouth and with gentle little tugs I suckle on it. Yannick signals her pleasure with, "OOOs" so I do the same with her other.

Now I feel she is ready for the utmost pleasure I know how to give. I begin kissing and licking her now fully unfolded blossom.
I lick up and down her clitoral hood and back again to her sweet, pale pink flower. I gently and slowly insert my finger into her opening and gradually I quicken the pace of my tongue and put more pressure on her now thoroughly moistened flower.

Yannick utters little squeals of delight and begins rapid panting. I keep up my licking pace with stronger pressure of my tongue. Her shallow panting grows quicker and little squeaks louder. I now give her the fastest licking and full pressure of my tongue. Pressed as I am so firmly against her flower blossom I can now feel Yannick bearing down and I feel her flexing the muscles of her pubic floor around my finger. Her louder moaning of, "OOOOOHHHs - AAHHHHHs" tell me she is very close. Now I begin murmuring animal like grunts that match the pace of her moans. And now she starts rhythmically pushing up her pelvis bringing as much pressure on my tongue as I have on her dripping wet flower. I feel a rapid quivering begin and then a strong convulsion in her body.

With a tremendous scream from the delight of her shuddering climax Yannick now extends her legs and forcefully locks them together at the ankles clamping my head between those legs in the process. I am happily imprisoned now. I can only move my tongue so I insert it back between her folds and taste of the lusciously sweet and warm fluids that her climaxing has brought to flow out.

Yannick relaxes her legs and takes only a short moment of panting rest then she reaches for my head and brings me up to her face. We look deeply into each other's eyes and then settle in for a long deep kiss. She reaches down between my legs and starts to rub my hard penis and cups my balls in her other hand. Now she gently guides my engorged member into her moist folds and I gently push into the warmth of her soft haven. Yannick wraps her arms around my neck and we kiss deeply again. My cock is now fully inserted and we hold in that position still kissing and feeling a tingling electricity coursing through our bodies.

I could stay in that loving embrace for a long while but Yannick is eager to make the reciprocal motions that will bring my ultimate fulfillment. I begin the motions with a slow withdrawing and gentle return plunging and she matches me with smooth pelvic thrusts. Now our pace quickens and I am thrusting deep into her and she pushes out to return each thrust. I feel my pulse quickening and little beads of sweat are popping out on my forehead. In my loins I begin to feel the fullness and the thickness welling up. Our bodies are locked together in rhythmic motion. I want this wondrous coupling to last forever, but I can no longer hold back the mounting pressure in my loins. While continuing my thrusting penetration I raise myself up on my arms so I can gaze directly down into Yannick's eyes. Yannick holds my gaze and returns it with intense love and passion. I want to tell her how this moment is the fulfillment of all the dreams I have had since our sad time of parting. I want to tell her how I will love her forever. But with the beginning of my climactic release my tongue becomes tied and I can only emit the moans of the pleasure and the groans of the pressure. My final thrust ends with the deepest penetration yet and my creamy white essence gushes out of me and into Yannick now filling her up with burst after burst. With my final burst I look into her eyes and I can finally scream out "Oh Yannick I love you so!" I collapse on top of her and rest my head in the crook of her neck and she wraps her arms around me.....

We stay locked in that loving embrace it seems like forever now.

__________________
The sands of time past keep shifting according to how we remember or forget or refashion it in hindsight, which is no sight at all.
Kajal Basu