Your silly poetry about mundane things! - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

Sage · 08-23-2006, 10:51 AM

Just like the title suggests, post your little ditties to dinner, your short storys about scrubbing, your compositions about cleaning, your dramas about dressing, your cliffhangers about commuting here!

Ode to the Dirty Dishes

Dirty dishes in my kitchen sink
Dirty dishes have been there a week
Turning green and smelling like poo
Dirty dishes what's a girl to do?

Gotta go find my rubber gloves
Give my loved ones kisses and give them hugs
Because once the washing's about to start
I'll probably be here until it gets dark!

Wash the plates from Sunday brunch
Did I use this for breakfast or for lunch?
Bran flakes, onion skin, gobs of fat, piece of veal
Sour milk, moldy bread, three peas, and a lemon peel!

My nose is running and my eyes are teary
Lord this job is just so dreary
Trying to wade my way through all this muck
Breathing through my mouth so I don't upchuck!

Toss it into the washer with a box of soap
Then I close the door and start to hope
The suds will wash everything all clean
So it can be used and made dirty again!

clavus · 08-23-2006, 01:47 PM

I bite my nails.
It never fails
to irritate
my lovely mate.

And so I wait
until it's late,
and when she sleeps
I masticate.

JustJess · 08-23-2006, 02:18 PM

A rhapsody of sleep
My pillows, those sluts, welcoming me
Opening their plump selves to whomever wishes to lie with them
Sink into them
Meld with them
Just thinking about it gets my serotonin running
Head aches with the taunt of peace
Wrap myself in soft yawns of flannel love
The warmth along my back of purring
Hours dwindle into a savings of sleep
Sleep, that ever teasing bitch
Who never gives me enough of her sweet love
It doesn’t matter
I am a slave to her embrace nonetheless
And damn if I don’t enjoy it
Ah, sleep

ngdawg · 08-24-2006, 06:57 PM

It never ends
The daily crap
The messed up frames
The quilts unwrapped
The boxes torn
The shelves a mess
The stupid questions
Give me stress
No, lady, that's not on sale
The sign's not wrong
But I guess you need Braille
Why are you taking yet another one apart?
You're not gonna buy it
You dumb old fart
You're all out to get me!
But know this, you will fail
For I am the queen lunatic
in the field
of retail.....

clavus · 08-24-2006, 07:13 PM

NG - you are a rockin' the retail writin'!

ngdawg · 08-24-2006, 07:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by clavus

NG - you are a rockin' the retail writin'!

Thanks...the lunacy does pay off once in a while LOL

Wait til the new job starts...graphic artist in a funeral home...then you'll see some creativity! Uh...not that kind...

Gatorade Frost · 08-24-2006, 08:13 PM

Rum, Rum
The magical liquor
The more you drink
The more you feel sicker

Willravel · 08-24-2006, 08:41 PM

tic tac,
vanilla flavor quickly replaced by freshmint,
one little calorie
slowly deterriorating into nothingness,
crappy breath is back....where are my altoids?

genuinegirly · 08-25-2006, 07:40 AM

Clavus, that's hilarious!!

fishies
fishes
fish
floop
swoop
whoop
kerploop
swimmie
swimmie
i need a new fin-nie
stop munching them now
dive-bomb

ngdawg · 08-26-2006, 09:36 AM

Hanging in the basement wet
There's still a bunch I have to get
It never ends
Or so it seems
I even do it in my dreams
The floors are hidden
With parts undone
So I scoop some up
It weighs a ton
I do just mine
The others do theirs
As we pass each other
On the stairs
I think I'm finished
I beat the clock
Oh crap....
An extra sock

HedwigStrange · 08-29-2006, 05:16 PM

This poem is not for the weak of stomach, though oddly, it is about the weak of stomach. I was reading about the British Romantic Poets and their "spontaneous overflow[s] of powerful feeling" when I was struck by the worst intestinal cramps. And so, in the spirit of the Romantics, I was inspired to write about these powerful feelings.

Spontaneous Overflow of Dormfood

Towering icecream under torrents of hot fudge,
Lumbering bagels of elephantine chewiness,
Salad bar- an iceberg that ominously waits.
I do not know all its underwater vastness,
But surely will soon:
Mighty these figures which storm my bowels,
Mounting in gassy pressure.
The Release!
A Dying Gasp!
As my intestines tear appart in the thundering of dorm food

Sage · 08-29-2006, 07:32 PM

^

That's GREAT! That's exactly what eating at the caf at my boarding school was like!

fresnelly · 08-29-2006, 07:39 PM

Long, strong, waxy
Finder of food
Coiled so tightly
Pulled free
Torn cruelly
Crumpled
Tossed
Awaiting the rest of yourself.

Dental Floss.

newtx · 08-29-2006, 08:15 PM

Getting older and certainly rounder

gaining more pound by pounder

wrinkles starting as I type

but it could be worse

so I'm not complaining

more like a bit of explaining

we all get older so why not start

trying to be a healthier old fart..............

08-23-2006, 10:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	Your silly poetry about mundane things! Just like the title suggests, post your little ditties to dinner, your short storys about scrubbing, your compositions about cleaning, your dramas about dressing, your cliffhangers about commuting here! Ode to the Dirty Dishes Dirty dishes in my kitchen sink Dirty dishes have been there a week Turning green and smelling like poo Dirty dishes what's a girl to do? Gotta go find my rubber gloves Give my loved ones kisses and give them hugs Because once the washing's about to start I'll probably be here until it gets dark! Wash the plates from Sunday brunch Did I use this for breakfast or for lunch? Bran flakes, onion skin, gobs of fat, piece of veal Sour milk, moldy bread, three peas, and a lemon peel! My nose is running and my eyes are teary Lord this job is just so dreary Trying to wade my way through all this muck Breathing through my mouth so I don't upchuck! Toss it into the washer with a box of soap Then I close the door and start to hope The suds will wash everything all clean So it can be used and made dirty again! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

08-23-2006, 01:47 PM	#2 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	I bite my nails. It never fails to irritate my lovely mate. And so I wait until it's late, and when she sleeps I masticate. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

08-23-2006, 02:18 PM	#3 (permalink)
JustJess Unencapsulated Location: Kittyville	A rhapsody of sleep My pillows, those sluts, welcoming me Opening their plump selves to whomever wishes to lie with them Sink into them Meld with them Just thinking about it gets my serotonin running Head aches with the taunt of peace Wrap myself in soft yawns of flannel love The warmth along my back of purring Hours dwindle into a savings of sleep Sleep, that ever teasing bitch Who never gives me enough of her sweet love It doesn’t matter I am a slave to her embrace nonetheless And damn if I don’t enjoy it Ah, sleep __________________ My heart knows me better than I know myself, so I'm gonna let it do all the talkin'.

08-24-2006, 06:57 PM	#4 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	It never ends The daily crap The messed up frames The quilts unwrapped The boxes torn The shelves a mess The stupid questions Give me stress No, lady, that's not on sale The sign's not wrong But I guess you need Braille Why are you taking yet another one apart? You're not gonna buy it You dumb old fart You're all out to get me! But know this, you will fail For I am the queen lunatic in the field of retail..... __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

08-24-2006, 07:13 PM	#5 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	NG - you are a rockin' the retail writin'! __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

08-24-2006, 08:13 PM	#7 (permalink)
Gatorade Frost Rookie	Rum, Rum The magical liquor The more you drink The more you feel sicker __________________ I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face." I said, "You'll be sorry." He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well." Emo Philips

08-24-2006, 08:41 PM	#8 (permalink)
Willravel ... a sort of licensed troubleshooter.	tic tac, vanilla flavor quickly replaced by freshmint, one little calorie slowly deterriorating into nothingness, crappy breath is back....where are my altoids?

08-25-2006, 07:40 AM	#9 (permalink)
genuinegirly Eat your vegetables Super Moderator Location: Arabidopsis-ville	Clavus, that's hilarious!! fishies fishes fish floop swoop whoop kerploop swimmie swimmie i need a new fin-nie stop munching them now dive-bomb __________________ "Sometimes I have to remember that things are brought to me for a reason, either for my own lessons or for the benefit of others." Cynthetiq "violence is no more or less real than non-violence." roachboy

08-26-2006, 09:36 AM	#10 (permalink)
ngdawg peekaboo Location: on the back, bitch	Hanging in the basement wet There's still a bunch I have to get It never ends Or so it seems I even do it in my dreams The floors are hidden With parts undone So I scoop some up It weighs a ton I do just mine The others do theirs As we pass each other On the stairs I think I'm finished I beat the clock Oh crap.... An extra sock __________________ Don't blame me. I didn't vote for either of'em.

08-29-2006, 05:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
HedwigStrange Tilted	This poem is not for the weak of stomach, though oddly, it is about the weak of stomach. I was reading about the British Romantic Poets and their "spontaneous overflow[s] of powerful feeling" when I was struck by the worst intestinal cramps. And so, in the spirit of the Romantics, I was inspired to write about these powerful feelings. Spontaneous Overflow of Dormfood Towering icecream under torrents of hot fudge, Lumbering bagels of elephantine chewiness, Salad bar- an iceberg that ominously waits. I do not know all its underwater vastness, But surely will soon: Mighty these figures which storm my bowels, Mounting in gassy pressure. The Release! A Dying Gasp! As my intestines tear appart in the thundering of dorm food

08-29-2006, 07:32 PM	#12 (permalink)
Sage hoarding all the big girl panties since 2005 Location: North side	^ That's GREAT! That's exactly what eating at the caf at my boarding school was like! __________________ Sage knows our mythic history, King Arthur's and Sir Caradoc's She answers hard acrostics, has a pretty taste for paradox She quotes in elegiacs all the crimes of Heliogabalus In conics she can floor peculiarities parabolous -C'hi

08-29-2006, 07:39 PM	#13 (permalink)
fresnelly Functionally Appropriate Location: Toronto	Long, strong, waxy Finder of food Coiled so tightly Pulled free Torn cruelly Crumpled Tossed Awaiting the rest of yourself. Dental Floss. __________________ Building an artificial intelligence that appreciates Mozart is easy. Building an A.I. that appreciates a theme restaurant is the real challenge - Kit Roebuck - Nine Planets Without Intelligent Life

08-29-2006, 08:15 PM	#14 (permalink)
newtx Addict	Getting older and certainly rounder gaining more pound by pounder wrinkles starting as I type but it could be worse so I'm not complaining more like a bit of explaining we all get older so why not start trying to be a healthier old fart..............