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06-08-2003, 01:07 AM
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#1 (permalink) |
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Banned
Location: St. Paul, MN
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Nick
broken link...
This is a story i wrote a little while back...and has been the nucleus of a few other stories i've written since. Feedback is very appriciated, and will lead to more posting. As a post script, becuse i've posted this story elsewhere, this is probably the first thing i've ever posted that ties my TFP identity to my real life, a moment of no small anxiety... Last edited by chavos; 07-12-2003 at 07:16 PM.. |
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06-08-2003, 04:07 AM
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#2 (permalink) |
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Junkie
Location: Utah
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Good story. I was really getting into it, and then this :Speaking of which, we’re crossing the Lake Street Bridge. That is if, only in the case that you care. Should you prefer, insert the name of a bridge near you. This story can take place anywhere.
All you need is a Nick. That might be tough, but I’ll be damned if it ain’t worth it. Okay. This part is tricky. I’m losing narrative focus. At least I think I am. I’ve brought in a story, made some backdrop, and just gone for a reflective high point. Getting back to the story can be a tough job. Or not…Nick is opening I liked the story a lot, but I was slipping into it, and then I came back with this. Personally, I didnt like these parts. I would have liked to just get absorbed in the moment. I like it though, thanks for sharing
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And as she plays, her sweet song of laughter floats through the air and warms my heart |
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