Surrounded Yet Alone
 

I live in a small town named Elizabeth City. I basically grew up here, went to high school here, and made alot of good friends.

But, now I'm in college. Except everyone else went off to college while I stayed back since I can go to school for free at home. I'll probably transfer to Chapel Hill in 2 years or so.

Luckily, I still have a few friends around. I hang out with them whenever I can, but sometimes...I feel alone yet I'm around everyone. There was a party tonight over at my friends house. There was to be alcohol and such. Now, I'm not really INTO drinking. I mean, I guess I drink casually like watching a football game but I really hate parties where the only point of it is to just drink all you can. But, there was to a certain lady at this party so I decided to attend.

Well, I get there and she isn't there. Oh well, I guess I can still hang around and play some video games. Um, wrong again. No one wants to play...everyone just wants to drink and be stupid. Even some old friends from high school stopped by on thanksgiving break from college. I used to hang out with these people constantly, went to LAN parties and just chilled occasionally. But now, essentially, they are assholes and people I would never wanna hang out with. :|

So what do I do? I just...left. No goodbye, no sayonara, I just left. After about an hour they finally realized I was gone and they get the girl I wanted to hang out with to call me. I told her I felt it was a bad situation for me and I felt a little uncomfortable and so I just left. She said she's not into those kinda hangouts either.

I dunno, am I just weird for not liking these parties? I feel I have been left behind and I need to get out of this town ASAP. I'm actually teary typing this. Silly yes, but maybe I'm just depressed.

Any advice / similar stories would be awesome. Thanks

Hang out with the buddies you like to hang out with and make new friends.

Friends come and go, and people change over time. You only don't notice it when you don't change with them.

And no, you're not weird for disliking parties where the goal is to not remember the night before. Hell, I couldn't figure out why people liked doing it when I was in high school, and I STILL can't figure out why some people I know like doing it in University.

Welcome to growing up. We tend to think that the friends we have in school are lifelong friends and sometimes they are. But quite often they are not. We meet new people throughout our lives, we get new interests and lose interest in other things. While your interests don't involve standing around drinking some of your friends enjoy that. You don't need to feel obligated to join them. Where did your conversation with this girl go later? She seems to not enjoy this scene either. Ask her out and see what other interests you share.

No your not weird for liking parties that have more meaning. I hate going to parties where the sole purpose is to get hammered. Sure I do go to some parties and people get drunk, but that was not the sole purpose (well except for the alcoholics i guess) of the evening. Sometimes it takes people longer to realize there is more to it than just getting so drunk you puke in your kitchen. I had that stage, out grew it, but it did take awhile for me. I wish I learned earlier like you.
With everyone going away, for some people it can really change them once they move away from a small town.

Just drink the pain away, my friend. Just drink the pain away.

Heh, just kidding. If you don't want to hang out at those parties, don't. Your friends (if they're real friends) will understand. If they don't, fuck em. If it ain't for you, then it ain't for you. Do what you want to do, and don't feel bad about it (unless you want to eat babies or something, then don't do that).

A lot of people don't like to drink and there's nothing wrong with that. I don't personally understand it, but hey I still respect it.

Thanks for all the comments guys. I just felt so uncomfortable at that party. I mean, I enjoy hangin around with A FEW friends, drinkin, and playin video games or watchin TV. But when alot of people are there I just get really uncomfortable. And when I saw my old high school friend like that it made me feel really depressed. He used to be such a great person.

As for the girl, I hope to see her later this weekend :thumbsup:

Have you toyed with the idea that you have matured more then thay have? I like you never understood the need to go to those type of parties.

Yeah, you've matured and left them behind, not the other way around.
In fact, you're so much more mature that you didn't like the party, so you left. Very sensible thing to do.
It's cool that you got to talk to the girl, too :)

Join some clubs and make some new friends.

I've definitely been in the same position. During my freshman/sophomore year of college, I thought going to these big parties was the only way I was going to meet new people and make some new friends, so I went... I was usually bored, uncomfortable, and found out that the kind of people at these parties were usually not the kind of people I wanted to be friends with. Hell, they were so plastered it wasn't like they were going to remember that they even met me the next day. I, like you, don't usually enjoy drinking unless it's with a close, small group of friends.

I think my advice would be to find someone (such as this nice lady friend you seem to want to hang out with) and do other things besides go to these parties. She may have some friends that also enjoy participating in activities that don't always involve drinking. I discovered that most of these people who partied all of the time eventually grew out of it... and I have finally found some closer friends I am content with and comfortable hanging out with.

Congrats on being more mature, btw. :thumbsup:

Thanks for the comments again :thumbsup:

Except for the fact I found out this 21 year old friend of mine had sex with a good high school friend of mine :eek: I think I'm ok. But, she's 18 and so..whatever!

I talked to my older siblings who are both 22 and 20, and they both agree what I did was right. They too, do not enjoy drinking with alot of people. In fact, my brother WON'T drink unless there is a game of beer pong involved. Guess it runs in the family.

It's funny, no one has said anything about me leaving the party. In fact, more people are calling me and wanting to hang out. Seems like sympathy, but I have finals anyways so I can't hang out. I have decided to pursue this girl, and I guess i'll keep you guys updated. I'm getting the new Mario Soccer game for Christmas and I'm sure we can dabble in that some :thumbsup: :thumbsup: