soma

I'm slowing starting to realize that a couple I know is trying to make me into their third wheel. I always cringe when I see them make out in front of me (like tonight, I went to the bathroom and I came back and bam! they were making out right in front of my dorm door).

Lately they've been asking me to come hang out with them, but there really isn't anything in it for me. Like tonight, I turned them down, and tomorrow, they want to go to a party with me.

Ugh. I'm getting the feeling they just want someone to witness how awesome their relationship is. These two people are still my friends, but the way they've been acting has been bugging me. How can I tell them nicely that I don't want to be their third wheel?

Thoughts, and stories relating the being the third wheel would be appreciated. Enjoy the weekend fellow TFPers.

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dlish

well you have a few choices..one of which you have done..yes..get a flat tyre and dont go with them. thats only a temporary fix i'd say.

better yet option 2..., approach your friend..the one to whom your closest to in that relationship, and tell just one of them that it makes you uncomfortable, and that our of common courtesy, that they tone it down. theres no shame in doing so if they see no shame in snogging in front of you.

or ideally would be option 3... when you see them making out if front of you, get undressed right then and thereand ask when is it your turn to join in the threesome. make sure you have a great big smile on your face, and since you are male, eye your male friend out and give him a cheeky wink. that ought to either create fire works, or dampen any make out sessions in front of you for good.

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analog

Yeah, pull out now. If you feel like the third wheel, it's not because you all used to hang out "before" and just "still" hang out... this is you getting trapped into the position because they need to validate their continued relationship through you, exactly as the thing you quoted said.

Pick your side now, and befriend that person, or drop them both. They'll either break up soon after, or find another third wheel.

Siege

Or instead, you can just whip it out and start jacking off. While continuing the rest of dlishguy's suggestion.

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highthief

If she's hot, go for the 3 some, absolutely. Nothing to lose but pride.

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martinguerre

don't take every invitation as an obligation. hang out with them as often as you have fun doing so.

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veruca

I cannot stand PDA offenders..it is disgusting and rude. I limit my Pda to hand holding and small smooches, nothing more.

We have lots of friends who like being 3rd wheels with my husband and I..or even 5th wheels with us and another couple...sometimes it's nice to have a 3rd person there, but you should always be concious of ont flaunting your fabulous relationship..lol.

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Rodney

Good advice. You don't need an excuse to turn down an invite. It's enough simply not want to do what they're going to do, or to just want to have quiet time. And frankly, if you want to make more friends on your own or deepen some other friendships you've already got, you're not going to do so with wheels 1 and 2 dominating your social life.

If you feel like hanging out by yourself or staying in the dorm, that's your business. If you feel like going off somewhere on your own, or with somebody else, that's also you're business. If they decide you're not as much fun as you used to be, that's _their_ business. But being a friend doesn't mean just being what somebody else wants you to be and doing what they want you to do _when_ they want you to do it.

guthmund

You can tell them nicely you don't want to be their third wheel.

Sometimes it really is that easy.

My roommate was terrible like this. He'd invite a girl over and all but have sex there in the living room with her while I watched television. I got all bunched up over, like yourself, but solved the problem by simply telling them that if they continued to act out their little 'porno show' in front of me, I was going to start doing what came naturally...join in or jerk off. The choice was theirs.

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nightstuff

If they are your friends and you otherwise enjoy hanging out with them, then just make them realize that its no fun when they are too cutesy couple. Either by groaning at them, or making fun of them, or just saying "Look, dont take this the wrong way, but if you two dont cut it out, im leaving".

If you dont want to hang out with them, then just deal with it like everyone else seems to, and blow them off. After you turn them down enough, they'll get the hint.

Suave

You should try to zing them. Henceforth, they shall be referred to as Billy and Janie.

"Hey Billy, I have to ask you something."
"What is it, soma?"
"Well Billy, Janie is supposed to be the village bicycle, not tricycle, so please stop dragging me everywhere."

Then you go "BURN!" and high five yourself into a freezeframe.

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soma

Some hilarious posts. Thanks.

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