NETPHANTOM

When i was 7 i had to have an operation to turn something around in my chest, as it was growing inwards. Now it is fine, but has a scar right across it.

I dont know wheather i should tell my girlfriend about it incase later on it becomes as a surprise or just keep it quite.

Anyone have any suggestions?

Jinn

I really can't see it being a problem either way. You tell her now and she says "oh, wow.." -- she might even want to know more about the operation.

You don't tell her, she sees it later, and you have the same conversation.

If you really think its going to be a "Holy.. what the.. WHAT THE FUCK!?" kind of reaction, I'd recommend telling her now -- but I don't realistically see this being a problem at all..

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Siege

Chicks dig scars... or so goes the saying.

Tell her now. The longer the relationship goes on, the more you will be attached. If she finds out and leaves you because of it (which I would hope wouldn't be the case), wouldn't you want to do that earlier rather than later?

Besides, she's going to find out sooner or later.

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Rodney

I can't see why anybody real would leave you because of a scar. Tell her or don't tell her. When it comes up, explain and be cool about it.

Of course if it bothers you, go ahead and tell her. But then you'll have to explain why you thought you had to tell her: "I was afraid that if you shocked the first time you saw me with my shirt off, you'd break up with me." Sounds a little insecure.

raeanna74

Everyone else said it perfectly.

I have some recent scars (still healing actually). I'm trying to get used to them but I would not hide it from someone I was seeing. Even people that hubby and I would swing with I mostly will/have just explained the marks once the people mention them. Telling her now would probably be your best move since it sounds like you are really self conscious about it. Getting it out of the way will probably let you worry about it much less.

Good Luck.

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thatoneguy

I used to date a girl who had to have a kidney removed, so she had quite a scar. She was kind of like NETPHANTOM, she seemed kind of self-conscious about it at first, like she thought I wouldn't like her or find her attractive because of it, which was not the case. I can't imagine something like that making a huge difference for me, but I guess some people are different.

So, I wouldn't really worry too much about it, if you feel like telling her, then do it, if not, I'd just let things happen as they will. Someone who would not like you or break up with you because you have a scar doesn't seem like they are worth your time anyway.

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JStrider

you have to create a crazy outlandish story to tell her at first...

tell her you got in a knife fight with a grizzly bear...

seriously now... she already likes you... i dont think that a scar would change that... and if she's so shallow that a scar on the chest is reason for her to break up with you then you probably dont want to be with her anyways...

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NETPHANTOM

Thankyou all for the advice, and all the best

spectre

From someone with a lot of scars: bring it up early. Chances are, it won't be a problem, but it's best not to surprise people with it.

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analog

I can't see ANY POSSIBLE WAY that a scar could matter. Track marks from doing drugs? Maybe. Testicles numbering one? (or THREE?) Yeah. But a regular scar? I can't imagine it being an issue.

Anyone have first-hand knowledge of someone actually giving a shit over a scar?

Naked Communist

I have a huge scar across the top of my head that healed badly - my hair covers it but I have some serious dents in my skull along the scar - kinda gross. I used to be self-conscious about my appearance (bad car wreck, multiple face fractures & had to be reconstructed). ANYway, long story short, I had self esteem issues because of the scars on my face, head, throat and hip. I finally got over it. And the swelling went down and most of the scars faded, and I finally accepted my new appearance (yay for me )And nobody has ever said anything about being turned off from them...
except for the dents in my head - I had my head in a new b/f's lap (he was rubbing my head during a movie - nothing naughty ) and he felt the dents and jerked away and yelled "gross! - what the hell is that?". Long story short (again), I decided to stop seeing him because of the revolted expression on his face. They're not that bad. Sigh.

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ziadel

scars are awesome.

my brother had heart surgery recently, followed by a spleenectomy, so hes cut from the top of his sternum to below his belly button.

he gets so much ass it isn't even funny, they all love the scar

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Martian

Umm..

I have more scars than I can't count, ranging from the sort that you don't notice to big time stuff. The worst are a six inch surgical scar that runs from my sternum to my navel and a cluster of cigarette burns on my left shoulder (long, bad story). My knuckles are also badly scarred from a combination of fighting a lot and pounding a brick wall. I have never had anyone take issue with any of my scars - most people don't give them a second look and those that do tend to be sympathetic rather than revolted.

I promise, it's a much, much bigger deal to you than it is (or will be) to her. I wouldn't even mention it. If you really think she ought to know, tell her the story first, then show her the scar.

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snowy

My boyfriend has some interesting scars and interesting stories to accompany them.

Trust me...chicks dig scars.

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Plaid13

I agree with this totaly but tell her the bear was the one that pulled the knife.

maleficent

Things, happen, my young two testicled friend, somoene havine only one isn't a big deal...

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Zeraph

I'll bet he meant it might be an issue because of fertility (as far as I know it's not a problem, can still produce enough sperm for pregnation.)

uncrtn

bruises heal and chicks dig scars, thats what my pappy says. if u were chatting on the net and had an eye patch whole other story, u could be a an extra on a pirate movie

Carno

I have plenty of scars on my body and so far nobody has been revolted by them. Usually people just want to know how I got them.

Well, I do have a scar in the shape of a cross on my forearm that sometimes people don't like. A few people thought I had it because I was in a gang or something

Besides, people who don't have scars probably had boring childhoods.

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Dragonknight

Scars are cool there road maps to things you survived. When you tell her about the bear pulling the knife make sure you say it was big. No self respecting bear would pull a little knife.

Honestly tell her now so you know if it's going to be a problem, there should be no reason why it would be. Especially if it's had years and years to heal.

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feelgood

I have quite a few scars:

Behind my ear: From the cochlear implant operation
On both of my knee cap: Feel on a rock during bike ride, was pretty deep and nasty. The skin on the scar itself is too fucking smooth
Under both of my knee caps: Brother was stupid enough to put nails in the treehouse stair, I stepped on one but it didn't go in my foot. Sure enough, I realized what I had stepped on and quickly jumped onto the rough, wooden rail and afterward, he got a good whupping from my Dad
My foot: There was some werid skin thingy on my foot, so the doctor cut a huge section and it still haven't healed. It looks sunken.
My wrist: I seriously don't have a clue as to where that one came from, perhaps an accident when I was a baby.

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thingstodo

Heh! That's just what I was thinking. ONly my story would include that I was protecting my girl friend or my mother!

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