Getting semen stains out of silk
 

We have a gorgeous silk bedspread and pillowcases that are dry-clean only. However, due to ratbastid's penchant for facials, they've become somewhat stained. (Aiming doesn't appear to be one of the things he's good at :) ) I most certainly don't want to take them to a dry cleaner. I'm sure they've seen everything, but really, "can you get these jizz stains out of my pillowcases?" is not a conversation I want to have with a stranger. My question is, can I hand wash these in water or something? What'll happen if I just throw them in the washer on delicate? If I get them wet can I dry them in the dryer, or will they have to drip dry? I need to wash the bedspread too. It's not quite as bad as the pillowcases, but it does have a few semen spots on it, and a big spot where the cat puked on it. Very romantic.

Any advice, fabric mavens?

LOL, sorry I can't provide any advice, but I just have to say...not a bad problem to have..."we're having so much sex we've got semen everywhere!" :lol: :crazy:

Isn't this what Zero or Woolite is for? Hand wash your silks in Zero and you should be fine.

http://www.laundry-alternative.com/washing_silk.html
http://www.fabrics.net/silk.asp

what about that dry cleaning kit thingy you can buy to use at home?

Sperm is just protein, so a quick turn in the washing machine should get it right out. Woolite in cold water on the delicate cycle should be just what the doctor ordered.

Because it's a bedspread, unless you have an industrial size washer, i'd probably go to a laundromat and use one of the large load washers to wash it. Then let it air dry.

Suggestions from http://www.laundry-alternative.com/tips.html
While your bedspread won't fit in the freezer, and doesnt need to because you probably won't iron it... air drying it should be fine.

I'd also stay away from fabric softeners as they can really stain your fabrics


I wonder if this is a hint from heloise or my namesake, Maryellen... :)

/me avoids lame monica lewinsky references :)

Not all silk can be handwashed (Duplioni silk for example) but your sheets will be fine...

For future I suggest:

1) better aim
2) get rubber sheets... way kinkier
3) swallow...


Sorry couldn't resist... :lol:

Dude, I WISH he could aim :) I guess he has other things on his mind at the time. They should patent semen as an industrial adhesive. Try getting it out of your eyelashes. :rolleyes:

Thanks, all, for the advice (mal, you're a lifesaver as usual). I'm going to try washing the pillowcases and duvet cover with Woolite tomorrow and see what happens. (We do have one of those home drycleaning kits, but you have to spot-treat each stain, and frankly, there are a looooot of spots.)

Wow, dude. This is the single most embarassing thread on Tilted.

Good work, hon. :thumbsup:

Just dropping in to laugh my ass off. This is so funny.

K, I'm leaving now.

Bye.




*run before the bastids kill me*

hehehe, it's classic for TFP though ;)

Ditto for me! I now have tea up my nose! I swear I have to stop drinking near the computer.


* me wonders why mal knows so much about semen stain removal from silk sheets...heh heh...I knew she's a vixen! :D

* me running faster than KellyC now hoping mal can't keep up with a thirty-four year old smoking fat guy!

Can we get a report on how it worked?

Just to satisfy my academic interest of course...

I've actually had decent luck with Shout! detergent, but I don't think it would work on sheets. Likewise, those home "dry-cleaning kits" actually work well.. I've used it on a full tuxedo/suit with no problems.

I washed them on delicate with Woolite, and then dried them just a little in the drier and then hung them up to dry, and hooray! They look great, and no more spooge stains :) Thanks!

I think you meant, "no more spooge stains... for now". :D

I'd say, "poor Ratbastid" but when you think about it... why are the stains there in the first place.

You go man!

Don't be embarrased at all; INSTEAD BE PROUD MAN!

Nothing to be embarassed about. It's not like you're the one taking the facials. :thumbsup:

I came late to this thread. I was afraid to post because I've actually had clothes that I washed to try to get the cum off and they ended up with something like bleach spots on them. Glad your's came out fine. What does hubby eat that could bleach things I wonder?

Well, that's true.

HAHAHAHAHA

shit.. I just spit coke on my lcd

Yes, but according to Lurkette... she isn't either. :lol: Who's up for some target practice?

this is good question! thanks to lurkette for ask, because the answer is useful to all!

now here is another question -- how do you get the semen off the curtain? i think the material is burlap.

One of the funniest things I've read, no offense. Here's to gettin freestyle with the english language. Kudos to you, ma'am.

I would take the sheets straight to a good dry cleaner to ensure they are properly and thoroughly cleaned. If they are any good at all, they've probably washed hundreds of sets of sheets with personal marks on them. Nevermind what they think about what, drop them off with your head held high, and let them go about their job washing your expensive sheets...and wishing their sex life was as good as yours.

:lol: Had I been drinking coke, I would have spit it all over my laptop.

This thread has the potential to reach 'best thread 3vAr!' level...

oh, shit... i just read the whole thing from beginning to end and i laughed so hard i nearly cried.

I love you two, you make my night. :)

And yeah, fucking classic.

We...er....AIM to please :) (Or don't aim, as the case may be ;) )

Are you offering a target?

I'm just askin' is all.

If you can hit me from Canada, I'll be impressed. :lol:

(When I was composing the previous post, I was doing a bit of image searching. You'd think that "Target Practice" would already be a name for a line of adult videos, but that turns out not to be the case.)

I sense a money making venture coming (cuming?) on...

Redlemon presents: Target Practice

All Facials... All the time...

Who needs foreplay? Who needs Sex? My money's on the Money Shot!!

Just take it to the cleaners and tell them the stains are "protein", "albumin", or something like that. Say the cat puked on it, hell. Besides, what do you care if *strangers* even think it's all spunk?? They're not your Mom, they're strangers, after all! :)

I'd avoid washing the sheets or drying them, I'd even avoid getting them wet because that sometimes leaves marks on silk, depending on the dye. You can get the marks out if they're dry-cleaned, but until then, in my experience with shirts there's not much you can do til you take 'em to the cleaners.

Ok, having worked in one of my cities Dry Cleaners (we take care of all of the mid to upper class people) I know that in washing silks you run the risk (even in cold water) of bleeding the color out. If the tag says dry clean only then get a home dry cleaning kit, otherwise you run the risk of ruining expensive silks. If you want to hand wash it, DONT throw it in the dryer. Hang dry after gently ringing the water out.

Steak juice works at a dry cleaners as an explanation of the stains, should you choose to have a dry cleaner take care of them - they will use the same type of treatment. Also, from experience, you may want to ask if your Dry Cleaner recycles their PERC and if so, do they put it through a filtering process before reusing? This is important if you want whites to be white when you pick them up.

For some reason this whole thread now has me thinking of a scene from Naked Gun...

Leslie Nielson - Wow! That's a honey of an anklet you've got there!

Pricilla Pressley - Tsk! Did it slip down there again?

You know what I'm curious about? Lurkette (one of my fav TFP hotties, btw), has mentioned ratbastid's penchant for facials. You know what we've missed in Exhibition? Yeah, you guessed it!

Other than that...I can't offer up any advice on how to remove stains from silk sheets, though.

Wow, jizz stains on a tux...now this is something I'd really like to know about!

Lurkette, glad things, uh, came out okay.

I wouldn't get your hopes up.

I've been watching along with this thread for a while - definitely an amusing situation, and you guys make hysterical comments. I don't think the steak juice idea would work too well.

Picture this, if you will:
Lurkette walks into dry cleaners with the stained silk sheets. Drycleaner employee: "Steak juice again, huh? That's the fifth time this month. You should really tell your husband to watch out for the sheets." Lurkette: "Oh I try, but he's kind of preoccupied whenever it happens."
:)

That's what you get for eating in bed.

In the future, if you take it to the drylceaners, throw in some cracker crumbs and parsely to complete the story.

And don't forget to mention whether your salad was tossed.

Buwaha - steak sauce! I think we have a new euphemism :lol: