denim

I'll let you know if I ever run into such a person who also smokes. It hasn't happened yet. If I encounter someone I'm attracted to like that they, w/o exception so far, don't smoke. At this time, I value being able to breathe more than I do the company of smoke. I'll grant you that I might change my mind on that, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

denim

Nope, disagree with the attitude.

Discolored teeth as such don't bother me. The smell of smoke does. In my world, it's not about you. It's about me. If you enjoy smoking, go for it. I won't be around, because I don't. I have enough issues w/o that, thank you very much.

splck

Dating a chemical dependent person that stinks all the time, tastes disgusting, has yellow teeth, shrivelled wrinkly lips and skin, stinky yellow fingers, talks with a hoarse voice, coughs up a brown tar ball once in a while, drives a car that stinks, lives in a house that stinks, needs to sit in the smoking section at a restaurant, breaks out in a cold sweat while flying on an aircraft, bitches about how non-smokers don't want to put up with her smoking and how they should be the one's to leave the room if they don't want to smell her smoke, dies slowly at a young age from a painful disease...yup, that's sexy alright..no thanks.
( you may notice I don't like smoking )

Bleh..I dated a smoker years ago and would never do that again. She said she would quit, but never did. Kiss a non-smoker and you'll never go back.

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nice line eh?

Mr Honest

Ask her out on a date, if you get on ask her if she could cut down on her smoking and give up one day soon as you want her to live for as long as possible and not deny the world her beauty and talents through slow suicide with a stupid toxic substance

OR

if she's hot and you really want her. Then well, there are mints and if she's sitting up on top you won't smell her too much/ from behind, face down.
Just don't kiss her too much

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Human beings : who could ever claim to like them all?

denim

I don't think I got your drift, Splck.

skier

wow splck you took the words outta my mouth.

A girl could have a wonderful, engaging personality and a killer body but if everytime I kiss her I feel like I ate an ashtray it just wouldn't work out.

__________________
"Asking a bomb squad if an old bomb is still "real" is not the best thing to do if you want to save it." - denim

tec-9-7

Well, speaking for myself, I don't have the greatest lungs in the world - my parents both smoked a lot when I was a baby, and I subsequently got severe pneumonia when I was about 18 months old, and then asthma for most of my childhood thru junior highschool - smoking would be an even worse idea for me than most people, and I really don't need to be around clouds of second hand smoke.

Martian

I think what's getting lost in the vehemence here is that there are degrees of it. I'm a half a pack a day smoker. My apartment does not stink (I smoke on my balcony) nor does my car. All the restaurants and bars in the area are non-smoking and I'm okay with that; it's my choice to smoke, if I want to that badly I can take it outside. If not I'll wait.

There's a difference between being a smoker and being an ass; let's not lose sight of that fact.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

tec-9-7

Of course you're right. While still unhealthy for you, that is probably not enough to significanly affect a significant other.

denim

Agreed. OTOH, have you had a non-smoker friend in your place or your car recently? You might ask them if your place smells of smoke. I'm not saying you're wrong, just that you might not be able to smell it yourself.

splck

The girl I dated years ago didn't smoke a whole lot either, but it was still noticeable. She ate breath mints and kept herself nice and clean, but she still tasted and smelled like an ashtray. You might think you don't smell, but rest assured, to a non-smoker, you probably do.
Truer words were never spoken

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nice line eh?

Cynthetiq

smoking about as much as you do about 7 years ago.. I'd agree with you. Now that I'm no longer a smoker... I'm disagreeing with you.

My wife can smell a mouse fart in the next room. She's got a sensitive nose, but I don't. I can smell smoke inside a hotel room, rental car, and even inside some of my friends who smoke about as much as you do.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Mr Honest

pffftttt who deleted my post?

anyway go 4 it m8, all that smoking ciggies they should be able to give a good Blow Job, just don't kiss them unless you like the stench of the little cancer sticks

__________________
Human beings : who could ever claim to like them all?

bad jane

you have me thoroughly confused then i understand some people don't want to be around smokers, and that's 100% acceptable (said as much in my first post). i smoke, content with the knowledge that there are people who aren't going to want to associate with me because of it. personally, i don't feel i'm missing out--just as i'm sure those anonymous people don't feel they are missing out. everybody wins

the original poster doesn't date smokers as a general rule--but now he's thinking maybe he should make an exception. because i'm a smoker, i warned him that if he doesn't want to date her as a smoker, then he shouldn't date her. the chances that she'll quit because he asked her out are not that high (unless she's young and just started smoking or planning to quit anyway).

so what is it that you are not in agreement with?

abaya

Just a clarifying question: what makes someone a "smoker?"

To me, it's someone who has to (or chooses to, in bad jane's case) smoke every day, or at most social occasions. Smoking a "little cigarette once in a while" does not make someone a smoker in my book. I still don't like smoking, but if my bf chooses to smoke one rarely (he's smoked 2-3 times, if not less than that, in a year), I've decided that it's okay with me.

But I couldn't date a smoker, because that would be part of their lifestyle and personality that I couldn't live with. I guess I had a roommate who smoked once every night, but she did go outside to do it, and it was just one cigarette each day... that was tolerable, but I wasn't kissing her!

__________________
And think not you can direct the course of Love;
for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
--Khalil Gibran

denim

You said

And I don't appreciate the attitude I see there. You claim that people "hide" behind the term "addicted". I say it's a good description, and has nothing to do with "hiding". To me, you're in denial. P'raps you'll be fine, like those rare people who live to be centenarians and smoke cigars daily. I can't say. I surely won't be around to hear you tell me "I told you so", but playing the odds, I expect you'll be on oxygen and drowning in your own fluids due to your habit in your final days. And that those will be well short of your centenary birthday.

But it's not my problem. And that's not my point. (I came here to talk about Alice. Remember Alice? It's a song about Alice.)


True. And I don't claim personal perfection either. I had a friend who died a few weeks ago at age 45 from heart failure. He was (likely) still overweight and (definitely) diabetic. I expect that I've got another five years, similarly.

But I can breathe. Maybe I value my lungs more than my heart?

bad jane

ahhh, kk, i understand now

i'd like to clarify what i mean, but i'm not sure it will help because there is still a difference of opinion. the majority of smokers are addicted to smoking (and i say the majority because as i said earlier, it doesn't happen with one puff--you have to choose to keep doing it until you finally become addicted). i do not deny that i am addicted to smoking, i've been smoking for years so i'm quite confident that i am! what i mean by "hiding" behind the term addicted, is that being addicted in no way justifies my choice to smoke. if i were trying to quit and struggling, then yes--it explains why i would be struggling. but if there were a magic pill that would allow me to quit smoking instantly, i wouldn't take it.

i don't smoke because i'm addicted, i became addicted because i choose to smoke. i enjoy it. i continue to enjoy it as much now as i did way back when i started--for that reason, i continue to smoke. i can go a complete weekend (and do so regularly) without smoking--i don't get nic fits or feel that if i don't have a smoke i'm gonna explode. i get along just fine, except i do tend to drink more when i'm not smoking (liquids in general, not talking booze binge lol). but i'm quite happy to come home and resume my habit because i like it.

you may continue to say it is denial and there's really no way for me to argue against that. if i quit today and picked it back up 5 years from now--those who feel strongly that smoking is an addiction and no one would do it if they could help it, would just say i'd fallen off the wagon. but addiction or no, i'm still making the choice to do it--that is why i won't say i smoke simply because i am addicted. plenty of people quit smoking, if i chose to quit, i have no doubt that i could do so as well--but until i decide i want to quit, it isn't going to happen. denial? if you insist--but it isn't a matter of denying i'm addicted, just denying that i have any desire to quit.

Jesus Pimp

I have reconsidered and going to ask her out. Some things happened last night that got me intrigued with her again.

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Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

denim

Well, I certainly can't argue with that! In that case, more power to you, and I hope you continue to enjoy it while you can.

Martian

denim - Not everyone who smokes is a lifelong smoker. I've smoked for three years now and will until my first child is born. That's my deadline; I'll need to quit for the nine months prior anyway, because there's no way I'm smoking around a pregnant wife. Hell, I once had a pregnant roomate and cut back severely just for that (I refused to even smoke on the balcony, because she was an ex-smoker and I didn't want to tempt her). Could it kill me by my late 20's? It could. So could owning a car or going out in the sun every day or any number of other things. I view it in terms of risk management and the risk of smoking having any real long term effects is minimized if I quit while I'm still young.

I think that's sort of what bad jane is getting at. There coes a point when the some factor in your life causes you to want to give them up. Sometimes it's something like a child or a signifigant other, sometimes it's just being sick of having to miss part of the baseball game. Until that something comes along you're not going to quit successfully and it's pointless to attempt to do so because other people say it's bad for you. Like bad jane, I don't want to quit yet, so I'm not going to attempt to stay off it. When the time comes that I do want to quit, I will and at that point it'll probably be as simple as never smoking another cigarette. It's all about motivation and at this point in my life I don't have any.

EDIT - also I'd like to point out that I frequently have non-smokers in my apartment and my car. Since I smoke on my balcony there's no reason for my apartment to smell bad and when I smoke in the car I roll down all the windows. The leather upholstery has a stronger smell than the smoke does. So yeah, I can say with confidence that neither smells bad.

__________________
I wake up in the morning more tired than before I slept
I get through cryin' and I'm sadder than before I wept
I get through thinkin' now, and the thoughts have left my head
I get through speakin' and I can't remember, not a word that I said

- Ben Harper, Show Me A Little Shame

denim

Have you ASKED a NON-smoker or NOT? You're used to that scent and might well not detect it no matter what.

Poppinjay

It wouldn't work for me. I grew up in a house of smokers. After I moved away, I noticed the smell every time I visited.

On the other hand, remember the words of the philosophers of yore: If she's a smoker, then you can poke her.