What kinds of things do you do to make your spouse or SO feel special?
 

I am curious to hear from people what they do to let their spouse or SO know they are thinking about them, etc. Not necessarily in a sexual way, either. Sometimes, I will leave a little note to hubby in the visor, so he gets it during the day, a card for no reason, or offer him a massage. I am looking for new ideas, esp some that you can do long distance as we will be apart for awhile.
Also include your gender, because I want to know if these things are mainly done by men or women? ( aka-how do I get my hubby to do more of them??)

Buy a pack of those little valentines they sell for grade school kids to pass out in class. Personalize each one with a little note and hide them any and everywhere, some in easy to find places, some in insanely difficult places. When I did this for my girlfriend, she was still finding these months later.

Yeah, hiding little notes places is a really sweet thing to do- if he's going to be away for a while, try sending him a card a day while he's gone. It might be sappy, but I've got a couple that are good friends of mine and while she was gone to Maine (for two and a half months) he sent her letters EVERY day she was gone, and I mean every day! He also drove 10 hours (each way) to see her for a day and a half!

Somebody on TFP gave me the idea about putting a little romantic note in with her makeup, or in her underwear drawer, on a specific article of clothing telling her you'd like to see her wear this again, etc. I took both those ideas and they worked great.

But I like the idea of this thread. I love stealing ideas from other people that work. Keep em coming.

(Edit: you'll notice I never really offered any ideas of my own. I just recycled. I'm pathetic. I know.)

Wow, there are lots of things that ktspktsp and I do for each other. I'll let him respond about his side of things...

But for me, to make him feel special (esp. after we've been apart for 2+ months), the latest thing I did was take 20 dirty picture of myself and send them to him. He had wanted some dirty pics, so I asked him to describe exactly what he wanted (the positions/poses) and I followed them to a T. He looooooooved them... and I was so happy to make him happy.

Other, non-sexual things, are just sending e-mails every day, talking on the phone often, getting each other little cute gifts (stuffed animals are one of our favorites), even doing stuff like washing the dishes, washing each other's laundry, etc.

I send flowers, leave romantic cards on the pillow, and write poetry. A couple of times I wrote her a love letter and mailed it (she gets the mail). She loved it.

Back/feet rubs... umm... surprise presents, doritos, flowers, anything that would invlove thought. So far so good, I haven't run out of any ideas. My favourite is just taking a drive and talking.

Just little things. Do a chore that she was expecting to do herself and not tell her; just let her discover it. When I'm out of the house on my own, stopping at the store on the way home to pick up a bar of her favorite chocolate or a quart of ice cream I know she likes. Just little things, to let her know that I'm thinking of her when she's not around, and that I love her.

As for her, she hates to cook, and I know it. We don't eat a lot of formal meals, and I do most of the major cooking -- make pots of beans or casseroles that we can eat off of for several days. But she knows I love food, and pretty often at the end of the day when I'm beat or stressed or too tired to do anything, a plate of food will magically appear in front of me. The fact that she willingly makes meals for me when I don't expect it from her -- and when I know she actually hates doing it -- that's saying "I love you" bigtime.

I always tailored it the girl... one of my exes had this problem with every boyfriend she'd had previously where they weren't very physical guys, and she really enjoyed the emotional and mental feeling of being touched randomly (not sexually).

So, for her, I made it a point that whenever I saw her, she entered the room, I entered a room she was in, I would make it a point to first go over to her and wrap my arms around her and give her a hug (a kiss as well, but the contact is the important part), or just hold her a moment.

You'd be surprised how much love and the strength of a relationship can be boosted just by simply holding the one you love for a moment or two at random.

It helps that i'm a very physical person, and she loved being held, touched, any physical contact. She could be having the shittiest day, and if I just was there to wrap my arms around her, she'd be brought right back to happiness. It was a good match.

Fuck, now I miss her.

Great thread. [/sarcasm?] :hmm: lol

At any rate, unless your partner does not like being touched or held, I would simply make it a point to always share a moment of contact when you see each other. I'm not talking about the typical peck on the cheek or lips and a "how was your day", i'm talking about an actual, emotional embrace. Doesn't have to last more than 5 or 10 seconds.

Those were AWESOME :D :D :D :D

Otherwise, definitely taking the time to communicate a lot despite the distance, that's very important to us. I emailed her every day even when she couldn't access the Internet for weeks, and she wrote in her journal to me - and now has sent it to me. It keeps us closer :icare:. Thankfully these days we can talk on the phone a lot :D.

Also, having a 'proper job' (while she still is in Grad school), I have more disposable income, so I like to help her sometimes be more comfortable on her trip, for instance, by getting her a hotel room on occasion, etc. When we're together, that turns into going to restaurants, etc..

Otherwise, doing housework to help each other; I've helped her with her grading when she was busy etc.. Stuff that helps her have more free time, which we can then enjoy together.

shh... don't ruin my carefully crafted manly image here at the TFP! :lol:

Wow, everyone here has really good ideas! There still seems to be alot of romance left out there too.
Keep em coming!

Sometimes I buy a sexy card or write love notes and hide those in his underwear drawer. Or I'll jump in the shower with him and scrub his back! Or I'll wake him up in the morning with his favorite cup of coffee (just the way he likes it) and have the morning paper under my arm to hand to him. My favorite surprise is dressing up in wild racy lingerie and then I wait for him to come home from work to discover me in on the bed with the sheets down and no panties on. Candles lit, wine poured....this is a fun one. I also give killer back & foot rubs with coconut lotion whenever he's tired or sore.