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-   -   What Are Some Major Relationship Breakers For You? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/92895-what-some-major-relationship-breakers-you.html)

KellyC 10-18-2005 11:32 AM

The lack of respect, honesty, trust, and loyalty. I feel that any kind of relationship should be based on those four basic principles. They're like support structures, break 'em and the building will collapse.

serlindsipity 10-19-2005 01:14 PM

Outside of the obvious - trust - I would say lack of ambition and the the inability to compromise.

Ambition rubs off. I love feeling like i want to do a lot and when I'm around those who have the same mindset, it's invigorating. It's inspiring to be with someone who wants to do great things and wants you to help them or wants you to share it with them.

Compromise is hard. I'm a unique cookie and I love those who show me things I never knew before - including how they live and think. But if somewhere along the line they can't accept our differences and try to find a common ground (and im not saying give it all up) then things get to tricky. Someone always ends up feeling like they are giving up everything important to them or that the other doesn't care.

5757 10-19-2005 07:53 PM

...
 
Sadly, it takes the SO leaving me. I am learning to respect myself more. I don't always follow my heart.

I've stayed through being cheated on, lied to, abused in every way basically. I'm learning. It's tough.

Now, I know I will never be in this situation, but I one thing that could certainly make me leave would be finding out that my SO was a child abuser. No question about that.

MSD 10-19-2005 07:57 PM

All I ask is that someone be trustworthy and honest. I don't like smoking, but I can deal with it, and materialistic people are not my type, but I can get along with pretty much anyone.

edit: Bad teeth really bother me. I guess that's one of the physical things I can't overlook.

Telluride 10-19-2005 10:58 PM

I suppose any type of annoying behavior can ruin a relationship if it happens often enough, but there are three things I can think of that would cause me to immediately end a relationship:

1) Infidelity.

2) Domestic violence.

3) Committing a serious crime/violation of individual rights against me or someone else.

nightstuff 10-23-2005 01:22 AM

Financial hardships
Boredom
Infidelity
Bad sex
Not fighting fairly

Lead543 10-23-2005 01:42 AM

Besides the obvious reasons...

Being made to feel as though I am inferior or less of a person.

My one ex boyfriend would hang out with his female friends alone and then just do little things to make me jealous. I can't really put it into words but it was pure manipulation.

serlindsipity 10-24-2005 05:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lead543
Besides the obvious reasons...

Being made to feel as though I am inferior or less of a person.

My one ex boyfriend would hang out with his female friends alone and then just do little things to make me jealous. I can't really put it into words but it was pure manipulation.

I have had that happen as well. I now see it as a way to make me question who i was and what worth (if any) he saw in me. It took him breaking my heart (twice) to run far far away and now 3 years later i can look at it objectively and thank myself that i have learned so much and i wont let myself get into a postion like that again. <b>I</b> value myself to much to do that again.

Atropos4 10-25-2005 08:05 PM

Well infidelity would do it for me. I would like to think we could work through it. I don't know if I could trust again. Probably, but it's odd. It almost depends on cheating with who. Because if it was a friend or family member, it would be OVER.

Dragonknight 10-25-2005 08:46 PM

Trust is the biggest one for me. If there's no trust in the relationship it's going to go down hill. Trust can lead to a lot of things also. Trust with money, other people, your feelings stuff like that. I also hate money hungry people. I can support my wife happily, but if she starts to expect things we cant afford or becomes one of those I've got to have the new Gucci even though we can't afford it. It's over.

h.n. cheerios 11-02-2005 01:39 AM

i agree with lead 543...being made to feel less of a person is a relationship breaker.

love sucks.

OTK 11-10-2005 08:34 AM

I wish I had a girlfriend, then maybe I could break up with her.

longbough 12-05-2005 10:47 AM

Dealbreakers - most of these run together

When we as two well-intentioned people have a misunderstanding it should be "our" problem - But if she can't get over the idea that it's either all mine or all hers that's a bad sign.

Selfishness - should be a given ... but it's painfully common.

Closed-mindedness - not able to discuss things. I don't mind someone who disagrees, but someone who makes up their mind without wanting to hear any other information is a bad sign.

Racism/Social Class Arrogance etc. - I can't live with that

And ultimately ... if we're having big relationship problems but she refuses couple's counseling. Most often, if even one person feels the need for couple's counseling, then both do ...

tokaok 12-21-2005 12:13 AM

smoking, heavy drinker, racist, ignorant, fugly, find out its my long lost half sister and we just found out we are same blood, vampirism


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