Being friends, with your friend's crush
 

Hope i'm not repeating anything, but I wasn't sure how to go about searching for something like this.

Anyway, I met a girl (We'll name her Y) through one of my friends (We'll call him X). At the time, everyone in our group thought that X was trying to go out with another girl that wasn't Y. At first, I became friends with Y because X told me that things weren't quite peachy-keen between him and Y. I wanted to help X, so I thought "why not?"

After learning WHY things weren't quite right between X and Y, things suddenly became awkward. It turns out that the girl X has been trying to get with, is Y. This became awkward because Y and I developed a pretty good (platonic) friendship (albeit a rather quick one).

This didn't become troublesome until I was at Y's place (it turns out Y lives extremely close to me) and X called her. He ended up talking to me and said "hey man, why're you at her place?" I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, but it got me thinking. Should I really be good friends with a girl that my friend is trying to go out with?

My original intention (and my current one) was to HELP X. On the one hand, being good friends with Y allows me to point out the good things about X. But on the other, X might get frustrated simply because Y and I spend a fair amount of time together and chatting. I'm afraid that maybe this will discourage X and at the same time, ruin our friendship (the one between X and myself).

Thanks for any advice/help!

Hopefully this isn't too confusing. I'll need to check this post over some time. I'm too tired.

Let's call you Z.

X * Y = c where c is a constant

Z / X = Y

Z / Y = X

therefore..

Z = X * Y
Z = X * (Z/X)
Z = Z...


You're screwed. I got lost in the letters, but being X's friend is going to screw you with both X AND Y.. if you go after the girl the HE resents YOU. If the guy goes after the girl, YOU resent HIM.

:(

Dude, good luck. Just remain Y's and X's friend. I ended up being the Z that dated Y and thus X kicked itself out of the equation. Now, I don't get along with X (not that I did in the first place) and Y broke up with me for another variable. Fuck me.

Considering how easy it is to flop your way into the "friends zone" with women, I'd say just stay the course and keep trying to pimp out X, while on the side explaining to X how very little a woman is interested in here male friends. If X can't be sold, let'im know and continue being friends with Y regardless.

I seem to have slightly different experiences when it comes to this. I would just say remain friends with Y if you think she could become a good friend of yours. Try to get things that the three of you can do together. Include X in as many things as possible.

--actually, screw it :) I don't know enough about Y, X, or Z to really make any sort of suggestions.. Every situation is different, it is up to you to decide the best course :D Good luck.

Sounds like you are really just friends with the girl, right? He introduced you two, so it's his problem if he doesn't want you to be friends with her now. Just keep being her friend, if that's what you want.

Given that the only details about THEIR relationship that you offered is "things weren't quite peachy-keen between him and Y" and "things weren't quite right between X and Y", then I would say that he doesn't really have a shot anyway.

be a good friend, and let everyone else sort out what that means.

frankly, if x thinks of you as a threat in this situation, he may simply not be up the task of successfully dating Y. knowing where to put your trust is a major part of being in relationship, and he seems to have some growing up to do in that department.

Hm. I need more information. Why aren't X and Y peachy keen? You have no interest in Y for yourself?
If you have no interest, there's no conflict. A woman (and a man) have many friends of both genders if they're healthy. Just because a guy is Q's best friend, doesn't mean his best friend feels guilty for hanging out with me sans Q sometimes, because we're just friends. Capiche?
If X can't understand the concept of platonic friendship... well, fuck 'im. The friendship with Y would then likely be more fulfilling anyway.

Never try to help X. Are we in highschool still? No.

Okay then...

Wow, sorry for neglecting this thread guys. I thought no one replied.

Ok, X and Y weren't peachy keen because X revealed his feelings to Y. Apparently, this made Y feel awkward whenever she hung out with X, resulting in them hanging out less and talking to each other less.

As far as interest in Y goes. No, I don't really have any interest in her past a platonic level.

So, you're not interested in Y, and Y is NOT interested in X. So X needs to get his head out of his ass and leave you alone and stop trying to get with Y.