soma

Evening TFPers

Last night while drinking, I threw up in an acquaintance’s room. He was really really cool about it, took care of the mess, and made sure I was ok in the morning. I felt terrible when it happened, and now that I've sobered up, I feel even more terrible. He told me that everything was taken care of and I didn't have to do one darn thing.



Now I feel I owe him something. I thought of paying him money, buying him some groceries, or doing some other things to show my appreciation. I've also considered just playing it cool and forgetting it all happened, but that just doesn't seem right (which is the reason for this thread). But he seemed so cool about it, almost as if he didn't expect anything in return and was just doing his duty. Have any of you been through something like this? How did you pay back the person/people who took care of you?

As always, thanks

martinguerre

the best way? never have it happen again. i know that sickly contrite feeling a little too well, and that's the best advice i can give.

at some point, pick up a tab for lunch or something...and you don't have to say it's for this or whatever...just do something nice for him and let that do the talking.

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maleficent

say thank you... and don't do it again... and consider him a new friend.

Most people wouldn't expect a pay back -- they did what a normal human being would do under the circumstances...

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jorgelito

I think a nice "Thank You" card would be a nice touch, and then at a later date, a lunch or dinner or round of drinks etc.

canuckguy

pick up the tab for lunch or dinner would be fine imo, or if your out at the bar a drink or two.


maybe some air freshner as well? hehe. j/k

StanT

I wouldn't expect a payback under the same circumstances, it's just common courtesy.

On the other hand, if I was the one doing the barfing, I'd bring over a bottle of something nice.

theusername

He was probably glad to help you out in a time of need but wouldn't be glad to do it again... Treat him for a drink/meal is probably your best bet.

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dksuddeth

A free dinner at Hooters, or something like that, would probably go a long way in being appreciated, and to show your appreciation.

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"no amount of force can control a free man, a man whose mind is free. No, not the rack, not fission bombs, not anything. You cannot conquer a free man; the most you can do is kill him."

alec

yah, buy him a few round of drinks or something. then, when he's all wasted, bring him home and let him throw up all over your bed. i'm pretty sure its an ancient japanese custom.

soma

Heh heh. Thanks for making me laugh alec. Today, I'll buy him some food and air freshners and send it all over with a thank you note. Thanks for the advice everyone.

dougiefresh

I would just roll on with life. If you do pay him back, buy him a pitcher, bring a 6 pack over or a pizza or whatever and don't even explain why.

soma

Dougiefresh, is there a reason why you suggest not to explain why I'm sending over some food or drink? I noticed that others have suggested doing the same in this thread. Is this just another one of the million or so social norms I am unfamiliar with?

Thanks.

Acetylene

oh for pete's sake, don't buy him anything. Don't act like his kindness has a price tag attached to it!

Instead, help him out sometime when he needs it. Go above and beyond the call of duty and prove you are worth the help he gave you. That's what friendship is, not some sort of monetary, Roman system of exchange.

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todd

That sounds about right.

TheShadow

Acetylene, your words of wisdom inspired me today. I know this sounds really corny, but a friend, who had helped me get over depression, was freaking out over a final in chemistry coming up and about something of her older sister's that she broke. So, I thought about your post, and offered to help her over the next week to prepare for the final. Also, I have the same type of CD player that she broke, so I'm giving it to her. Thanks for the inspiration!

Soma: I'd take his advice.

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You know that song that goes like...

splck

Acetylene said what I thought.

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nice line eh?

pig

I don't know about that friendship / pricetag thing....as a friend of mine once said "A good count makes good friends..." I personally sort of like to return favors for my friends. I think you can tell him exactly what it's for, just don't make a big deal out of it...a simple "thanks for helping me out last night, why don't you let me take you out for a drink" I think is perfectly fine. Frankly, just a simple "thank you" is probably fine, but if you want to spot him lunch or alchohol, go ahead. I wouldn't find it demeaning at all if I were in his shoes.

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Matadon

I would second the 'round of drinks' idea, or something equivalent. Friends don't buy each others' friendships, but it's only polite to pay someone back for cleaning up your fresh, warm, beer-smelling vomit, and if I was your friend, I'd feel a lot more appreciated if I got something totally unexpected in return for going above-and-beyond the call of duty.