fallsauce

I'll be moving to a different city in a few weeks, so there'll be a 99% chance that I won't know anybody there. I'm wondering how you would meet new people, especially if it's a lecture hall with several hundred people.

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"Hey little kitty with your tail dragging on the floor
You could have a following in every town that you go"
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hambone

Try getting there a little early and introduce yourself to one of the other people who get there early. They will have nothing to do anyway and I am sure would love someone to talk with.

Good luck

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"Like liquid white from fallen glass,
Nothing to cry over"

fallsauce

Actually, I think maybe that's my problem, I'm too scared to introduce myself. Maybe it's because I've never had any good results because I did that.

And thinking back, I think most of my friends are my friends are because I was with someone who knows that person, either that, or they're sitting besides me for 8 hours a day.

Am I strange to be afraid of talking alone with another person? I always feel pressured to say something interesting or funny or something.

__________________
"Hey little kitty with your tail dragging on the floor
You could have a following in every town that you go"
Electric Six - I Invented The Night

hambone

no, you are not at all strange. I am actually the same way, always thinking I won't have anything worthwhile to say to someone. I know its hard to do, but just try it.

You are both in the same class right? So ask something simple, like if they have had this professor before, or something like that. Ask what year they are, what time they got there. Just break the ice, and chances are they will be more than willing to talk. If not, don't get frustrated since its their loss.

I hope this is at least somewhat helpful, but I totally know how you feel since I am a pretty shy person myself.

__________________
"Like liquid white from fallen glass,
Nothing to cry over"

Kostya

I find that tutes offer more opportunity for friendships than lectures. Lectures are a bit too large for that kind of thing, but when you're sitting in a tutorial room with four other people and the tutor's late, someone strikes up a conversation...

Next thing you're know you're in the middle of a 'You HAVEN'T seen Citizen Kane!!!?' incredulous discussion.

ironmaiden7o7

If you're in lecture hall with a large amount of people, chances are, you won't meet all of them, but you will get connected to the ones sitting close to you. Eye contact and a smile usually does it. And usually, going up to a person who is friendly and introduce yourself doesn't hurt. You can even let them know that you are new to the town and would like to make new friends, nothing strange about that. Good luck.

Kostya

Yeah, like, didn't you ever wish people would come and talk to you? Everybody is thinking that in a lecture hall, so I wouldn't get too worked up about it.

fallsauce

Sure, everyone *thinks* that way, but how many people actually act on it?

__________________
"Hey little kitty with your tail dragging on the floor
You could have a following in every town that you go"
Electric Six - I Invented The Night

StanT

The hardest part of starting a conversation is having something to talk about. It seems like "Do you know what the hell he's talking about", at the appropriate time would go a long way.

Redlemon

Join an extracurriuclar group. All of the people that I'm still in contact with, 14 years after graduation, were either in the marching band or the glee club.

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sailor

Best suggestion ever. Its also a good excuse to talk to that really cute girl in the class Used this one before

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--Plato

munchen

Remember that there are a ton of other people in your situation. Most people go to uni without knowing anyone, everyone is looking to make new friends. People there understand whats its like and are often very friendly and understanding. They want to make friends as much as you do so just start up a conversation would go a long way.

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"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun" -Matt Groening

fallsauce

Thanks guys for the suggestions, definitely going to check out the extracurriculars. And what the heck is the glee club?

__________________
"Hey little kitty with your tail dragging on the floor
You could have a following in every town that you go"
Electric Six - I Invented The Night

Kostya

Ok, only strange people like me.

But still, I find people pretty responsive at Uni.

fallsauce

Well, in that case, I hope to meet lots of strange people like you then.

__________________
"Hey little kitty with your tail dragging on the floor
You could have a following in every town that you go"
Electric Six - I Invented The Night

Carno

Yeah, I'm sure you'll meet tons of people at uni. Just be really friendly and open and try to striek up conversations with everyone. At the line in the cafeteria, before class, in the library, people you see walking to class at the same time everyday, everywhere.

I made most of my friends in the dorms. I found that nobody really talked in class, everybody just kinda showed up and then left, so it was hard for me to meet the people in my classes, unless I was sitting right next to them.

Kostya

Don't worry you will, Uni is one big magnet of strange!

Actually, I'm pretty reclusive, I'll engage people in conversations, but I'm not exactly an out there, socialising non stop guy. I like talking though. A lot.

Tophat665

Uni?
<img src="http://www.goodsfromjapan.com/shop/im/sushi/uni.JPG">
No, you don't want to make friends with it. It tastes like baby poop.

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Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Thome

I didn't make any friends in Uni. But I know where I went wrong - I didn't talk to anyone, I refused to go out with anyone, and I locked myself in my room trying to avoid everyone and everything.

I lasted about 8 weeks at Uni.

So my advice is, don't do what I did. Everyone is in the same boat, and the first few days a whole lot of opportunities to socialise will come in even if you're scared about making the first move - take them. There are a lot of cool people to meet at Universities.

Arriving a few hours before others gives you the psychological edge of being sorted rather than arriving last and seing everyone else settled and making friends and you've still got to unpack.

TM875

College was the best time in my life. I was on an amazing floor with amazing people, many of whom are still my best friends. It took about three weeks to meet them all, and then at least another month to truly become close. Making friends is not an immediate thing. It takes time and takes work.

Once you make a few friends, have them bring other friends to hang out. A group of friend accumulates through others. Don't feel that you need to immediately know twenty different people - get to know one or two, and let the friends follow. Hanging out with people in your residence hall is the easiest way - just play some music, get some beer, and open up your door - people will flock.

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"I've made only one mistake in my life. But I made it over and over and over. That was saying 'yes' when I meant 'no'. Forgive me."

keyshawn

It's a singing ensemble, usually of jazz, soda fountain tunes; similar to a chorus.

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insidious_machinae

I struggle very badly with shyness at college and I just wanted to say that this thread encouraged me.

avernus

I used to be lousy at making friends, it would take me ages and I was always on edge. I have more confidence now, sure some people still make me itchy but mostly its ok. Its strange, there are some real cliques and people try to fit in - when you don't really care about that I think you'll find that people enjoy your company more.

Part of growing up is knowing that there is no cool - cool is a pathetic youth concept that impedes real human relationships.

What I have learned is that some people you like and some people you don't. You'll never get along with those you don't like but that doesn't mean you shouldn't give it a good go.

Join clubs too. The best way by far.

little_tippler

I find that arriving early is good, I've done that before and had (at least temporary) results, but mostly I feel like, why am I the one having to approach people all the time, why when I've made an effort, do I feel like no-one seems to be making an effort back? I hate approaching strangers and I suck at making friends. bleh.

__________________
Whether we write or speak or do but look
We are ever unapparent. What we are
Cannot be transfused into word or book.
Our soul from us is infinitely far.
However much we give our thoughts the will
To be our soul and gesture it abroad,
Our hearts are incommunicable still.
In what we show ourselves we are ignored.
The abyss from soul to soul cannot be bridged
By any skill of thought or trick of seeming.
Unto our very selves we are abridged
When we would utter to our thought our being.
We are our dreams of ourselves, souls by gleams,
And each to each other dreams of others' dreams.

Fernando Pessoa, 1918

fallsauce

Yup, that's me all the way, glad to know I'm not the only one feeling this way.

But I've got a few of my own suggestions to make, now that I've been at uni for a few weeks.

If you're renting with strangers, it's pretty easy to strike up conversation.

I find it much easier to start a conversation with someone I know from a class or tutorial, even if the connection was that he/she sits in front of you and have no idea who you are.

__________________
"Hey little kitty with your tail dragging on the floor
You could have a following in every town that you go"
Electric Six - I Invented The Night