Immature girlfriend doesn't appreciate me. - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

skysooner · 03-19-2005, 08:34 AM

All you need to read is the first couple of paragraphs. When she didn't call you to tell you that something else had come up and left you hanging for 6 hrs without an apology, that told me she was either immature or a game player. You shouldn't have to put up with either. There are plenty of girls out there, and there are ones that aren't like this. There is nothing for you in this relationship (it sounds like), and I think it is time for you to move on. I'm one of the first to try and save any relationship, but there are certain things that just mean you two aren't going to work out (at this point in her life anyway).

Demeter · 03-19-2005, 09:35 AM

The title of your thread says it all Spritebox...let her go before either of you do something you'll regret. Life is too short to spend with someone who messes around with your mind.

lindseylatch · 03-19-2005, 11:21 AM

so, this thread is 2 and a half month old, I'm wondering if we can get an update on the situation?

Blackthorn · 03-19-2005, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

Is this the same girlfriend as this one?
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthread.php?t=69494

What are you getting out of the relationship? Why stay in it?

Some people love to have something to complain about.

MiSo · 03-20-2005, 02:56 PM

i think you can do much better than your current gf.
it really sounds like she doesnt appreciate you.

if you let this continue, you'll only end up hurting yourself more.
breaking up with someone isn't very easy to do, but in the long run it will be better for you.

abaya · 03-20-2005, 04:36 PM

Amnesia, your story intrigued me. Are you happy now? What made you decide that the relationship would be worth the effort? It sounds like you took a lot of drastic steps to ensure things would continue... what motivated you to invest so much energy?

Also, for the OP: I am a big advocate of the "I feel" approach. That is, start out your discussion saying, "I feel _<fill in certain emotion>_ when you _<fill in behavior that causes you to feel a certain emotion>_." I find that it defuses a lot of potentially blame-filled and/or defensive reactions and also puts the responsibility on you for your own feelings, rather than necessarily saying it's the other person's fault.

Granted, their behavior is the cause, but I think it's only fair to communicate at least what your feelings are in regards to their behavior, and then leave it up to the other person to change the offending behavior if they see fit. If they don't change, then you either have to get over it and feel better, compromise with them, or break up with them because they aren't willing to change. It comes down to what both of you are willing to change or tolerate, depending on how valuable that person and the relationship is to you.

Personally she does sound immature and not worth more than the 16 months you've already given her. Talk with her a few more times, make your feelings clear, and if still no decent response... boot her.

ktspktsp · 03-20-2005, 06:19 PM

I agree with the people calling for a time off.. You're stuck in an unhealthy pattern with her, and I'm sure it's damaging your self esteem. So, tell her you want a time out, or even you want to break up. Then try to enjoy life, hang out with friends, enjoy the good weather coming up, and see what happens from here. You owe it to yourself.

irseg · 03-20-2005, 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Spritebox

Haha. She'd be super pissed at me for letting others know about our situation. She's already gotten mad at me for that because I told my best friend about some problems we were having a while ago.

So not only will she not talk to you about your relationship, but she tries to prevent you from discussing it with anybody else, too? Sounds like she needs therapy to address her control issues.

Uzebet · 04-11-2008, 10:00 PM

Dude cut your losses and find a girl who respects you. This type of girl is not dating material. If she does not respect you, you must realize you can't convince her why she is wrong.

Anything you do is going to make you look not only desperate but crazy. I can perfectly understand were your coming from, but this girl is; and will warp anything you do. If you don't believe me read over your post. She has managed to totally disregard any and all the nice things you have done for her. Before you know it she will tell you your being clingy. She is immature. Learn from this and move on. You would not believe how many women want a guy like you. Don't waste your time with this. If she even realizes what she has/had with you, just remember it was you who tried to fix the relationship. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, etc.

My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. I admit our relationship had its problems, but the issue at hand was that she would not reach me half way. You can't fix a relationship if both parties are not willing to work to that goal. You can't know what is going right/wrong if you have no feedback. This girl would due 360 personality shifts. Literally one day she would be on top of me, everything about me was right, then the next day wanted me dead.
For valentines day, at this point we had been dating over 5 months, I got a card with her name on it. That was it! She would get pissed at me for calling her and telling her goodnight. I spent a whole day looking for her favorite ice-cream to surprise her. When I gave it to her, after telling the story of my feat, etc. all I got was (thanks) in as monotone a voice you can make.

I was suppose to meet her one time, she show up three hours late, ignoring text, phone calls, etc. Once I did confront her not a word of regret, apology, or sincerity was expressed. She even got pissed at me for not waiting another extra hour! This girl managed to convince herself the reason she had a zit was my fault! I swear to GOD.

I can go on for days, we had our good times, but I really don't think it is in any of our interests to be with a girl who treats us like a piece of shit.

After the numerous harsh things said to me when she finally accepted my proposal to break up, I literally kicked her ass to the curve. I dropped her off in the middle of a parking lot and drove off. I admit this was not the nicest thing to do, but after hearing how everything I helped her with, everything I did for her, all the time I spent with her (we dated for about 7 months), etc. meant nothing and how I was no better or more important than any other guy she has ever dated (her other ex-boyfriends are real WHITE TRASH), I figured it was an OK ending to a bad relationship.

allaboutmusic · 04-12-2008, 01:19 AM

I doubt they're still together three years after that.

Hain · 04-12-2008, 01:26 PM

Fuck it. I didn't have anything to say.

The Nightfly · 04-12-2008, 02:02 PM

Mate, it's quite simple. I've been in this situation.

Finish it with her. Relationships are meant to make you happy and feel good, and it sounds like you're neither happy or feeling good about things.

After the amount of time you've been going out with her, a lot of things will feel like a habit, and she'll be a massive part of your life, so that makes finishing it even harder. However, there's definitely somebody out there who will make you happier and appreciate you much more. My feeling is you'll thank yourself for ending it a month or two down the line.

All the best to you, and good luck. Let us know how it goes.

telekinetic · 04-12-2008, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Nightfly

All the best to you, and good luck. Let us know how it went

FTFY

The Nightfly · 04-12-2008, 05:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by twistedmosaic

FTFY

Oops. I really should check the post date shouldn't I... haha.

03-19-2005, 11:21 AM	#43 (permalink)
lindseylatch Addict Location: Seattle, WA	so, this thread is 2 and a half month old, I'm wondering if we can get an update on the situation? __________________ "Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities" "If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent him." "It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong." -Voltaire

03-20-2005, 04:36 PM	#46 (permalink)
abaya Location: Iceland	Amnesia, your story intrigued me. Are you happy now? What made you decide that the relationship would be worth the effort? It sounds like you took a lot of drastic steps to ensure things would continue... what motivated you to invest so much energy? Also, for the OP: I am a big advocate of the "I feel" approach. That is, start out your discussion saying, "I feel _<fill in certain emotion>_ when you _<fill in behavior that causes you to feel a certain emotion>_." I find that it defuses a lot of potentially blame-filled and/or defensive reactions and also puts the responsibility on you for your own feelings, rather than necessarily saying it's the other person's fault. Granted, their behavior is the cause, but I think it's only fair to communicate at least what your feelings are in regards to their behavior, and then leave it up to the other person to change the offending behavior if they see fit. If they don't change, then you either have to get over it and feel better, compromise with them, or break up with them because they aren't willing to change. It comes down to what both of you are willing to change or tolerate, depending on how valuable that person and the relationship is to you. Personally she does sound immature and not worth more than the 16 months you've already given her. Talk with her a few more times, make your feelings clear, and if still no decent response... boot her. __________________ And think not you can direct the course of Love; for Love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. --Khalil Gibran

04-11-2008, 10:00 PM	#49 (permalink)
Uzebet Upright	LOL Dude cut your losses and find a girl who respects you. This type of girl is not dating material. If she does not respect you, you must realize you can't convince her why she is wrong. Anything you do is going to make you look not only desperate but crazy. I can perfectly understand were your coming from, but this girl is; and will warp anything you do. If you don't believe me read over your post. She has managed to totally disregard any and all the nice things you have done for her. Before you know it she will tell you your being clingy. She is immature. Learn from this and move on. You would not believe how many women want a guy like you. Don't waste your time with this. If she even realizes what she has/had with you, just remember it was you who tried to fix the relationship. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink, etc. My ex and I broke up about 2 months ago. I admit our relationship had its problems, but the issue at hand was that she would not reach me half way. You can't fix a relationship if both parties are not willing to work to that goal. You can't know what is going right/wrong if you have no feedback. This girl would due 360 personality shifts. Literally one day she would be on top of me, everything about me was right, then the next day wanted me dead. For valentines day, at this point we had been dating over 5 months, I got a card with her name on it. That was it! She would get pissed at me for calling her and telling her goodnight. I spent a whole day looking for her favorite ice-cream to surprise her. When I gave it to her, after telling the story of my feat, etc. all I got was (thanks) in as monotone a voice you can make. I was suppose to meet her one time, she show up three hours late, ignoring text, phone calls, etc. Once I did confront her not a word of regret, apology, or sincerity was expressed. She even got pissed at me for not waiting another extra hour! This girl managed to convince herself the reason she had a zit was my fault! I swear to GOD. I can go on for days, we had our good times, but I really don't think it is in any of our interests to be with a girl who treats us like a piece of shit. After the numerous harsh things said to me when she finally accepted my proposal to break up, I literally kicked her ass to the curve. I dropped her off in the middle of a parking lot and drove off. I admit this was not the nicest thing to do, but after hearing how everything I helped her with, everything I did for her, all the time I spent with her (we dated for about 7 months), etc. meant nothing and how I was no better or more important than any other guy she has ever dated (her other ex-boyfriends are real WHITE TRASH), I figured it was an OK ending to a bad relationship.

04-12-2008, 01:26 PM	#51 (permalink)
Hain has a plan Location: middle of Whywouldanyonebethere	Fuck it. I didn't have anything to say. __________________ ////\\// IRONSKY.NET \\//\\\\

03-19-2005, 08:34 AM	#41 (permalink)
skysooner Registered User Location: Oklahoma	All you need to read is the first couple of paragraphs. When she didn't call you to tell you that something else had come up and left you hanging for 6 hrs without an apology, that told me she was either immature or a game player. You shouldn't have to put up with either. There are plenty of girls out there, and there are ones that aren't like this. There is nothing for you in this relationship (it sounds like), and I think it is time for you to move on. I'm one of the first to try and save any relationship, but there are certain things that just mean you two aren't going to work out (at this point in her life anyway).

03-19-2005, 09:35 AM	#42 (permalink)
Demeter Psycho	The title of your thread says it all Spritebox...let her go before either of you do something you'll regret. Life is too short to spend with someone who messes around with your mind.

03-20-2005, 02:56 PM	#45 (permalink)
MiSo Psycho	i think you can do much better than your current gf. it really sounds like she doesnt appreciate you. if you let this continue, you'll only end up hurting yourself more. breaking up with someone isn't very easy to do, but in the long run it will be better for you.

03-20-2005, 06:19 PM	#47 (permalink)
ktspktsp Addict Location: Reykjavik, Iceland	I agree with the people calling for a time off.. You're stuck in an unhealthy pattern with her, and I'm sure it's damaging your self esteem. So, tell her you want a time out, or even you want to break up. Then try to enjoy life, hang out with friends, enjoy the good weather coming up, and see what happens from here. You owe it to yourself.

04-12-2008, 01:19 AM	#50 (permalink)
allaboutmusic Aurally Fixated	I doubt they're still together three years after that.

04-12-2008, 02:02 PM	#52 (permalink)
The Nightfly Upright Location: Brighton, UK	Mate, it's quite simple. I've been in this situation. Finish it with her. Relationships are meant to make you happy and feel good, and it sounds like you're neither happy or feeling good about things. After the amount of time you've been going out with her, a lot of things will feel like a habit, and she'll be a massive part of your life, so that makes finishing it even harder. However, there's definitely somebody out there who will make you happier and appreciate you much more. My feeling is you'll thank yourself for ending it a month or two down the line. All the best to you, and good luck. Let us know how it goes.