There must be something seriously wrong with me - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

-Ever- · 06-01-2003, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Washington
Thanks for your replies you two :}

As far as the gym...its not that type of scene...its a very hardcore gym...its entirely weights (no aerobic) and everyone there is either a 30-50 something powerlifter dude whos been doing it for years or females that look like men (and are a lot older than me) maybe I should switch gyms.

I live with my parents (i get free tuition since my mother is a professor but only if I live at home).

I am extremely active. I mountain bike. I run. I workout.

I am a ski instructor in the (i take off spring semester and move out west for a few months) and teach skiing in Utah. But im not 21. and all of my co-workers are...so i couldnt go make friends at the bar after work....

In the summer I mountain bike and do adventure racing (like eco-challenge but much smaller)....but i still have the same problem...i cant find anyone to mountain bike with so I just go by myself.

I think its that even though I am not fat anymore, i still think of myself as fat and unwanted because this was how i was treated for many years.

I had a running partner that I met in Physics Lab but she moved away.

it just seems there is always a reason....maybe i am looking to hard for the reasons. I dunno

you sound like an amazing person man, and quite a role model to myself. Sorry to hear that you've had a rough past, but I know many girls who are dying to meet a well rounded guy like yourself. Just keep your head up and make sure you aren't looking in the wrong places (for your type), like dive bars and pool halls. Find a good girl who will tear up the mountains with you while biking or skiing. maybe a local club or job will provide oportunity.
best of luck

Washington · 06-01-2003, 12:22 PM

Thanks a lot everyone...every little bit of encouragement helps..

She (running girl) sent me this email today....names changed and all....

John

Yeah Tues. same time. I will probably be the only girl that you see with no shirt on and just a sports bra. That's what I'm infamous for, is not wearing much clothes! And you will probably see me hanging out with a bald guy named Joe. Do you still need directions? Did you find it okay? Do you live in Green? I saw that you have a 699 phone#. I live in green too, but I come from work in stow, which is down the street from the natatorium. Hope to see you on Tues.!

Lisa

okay what do i write back? "you dont wear clothes? sweeeeet"

seriously....I need to think of something witty...i cant just ignore the fact that she told me she is famous for not wearing any clothes!

a little help again?

thanks

Washington · 06-01-2003, 12:32 PM

okay i wrote something but it wasnt witty..

it was like.... "a pretty nekid girl and a bald guy should be too hard to find"......

~springrain · 06-01-2003, 01:35 PM

*chuckle*... witty enough for me... and i'm glad you wrote back...

you could write again... closer to Tuesday... just to "confirm"...
you could also add a "looking forward to it" or something along those lines...

good luck... you're doing great!

ratbastid · 06-02-2003, 07:00 AM

You ROCK, Washington! See what happens when you relax and be yourself?

We're proud of you, bud! Keep it up!

Washington · 06-03-2003, 10:13 AM

Well..I recently spoke with an old friend. She and I were lifeguards together. She would constantly flirt with me and flash me etc. I still couldnt make it happen.

I think I really have a complete understanding of what I used to do wrong.

I changed her screenname to protect her....

here is the transcript from AOL IM...

ski00nut: Wow, its been a while
Aw: yeah cuz i dont have this SN anymore
ski00nut: You working at the hole this summer?
Aw: no i quit
Aw: last year
Aw: to go to school
Aw: now im moving to CA
ski00nut: exciting 8-)
ski00nut: near the water?
Aw: about 45 minutes
Aw: im right next to san fran
ski00nut: sweet
Aw: yes.
Aw: why are you being so nice to me?
Aw: i thought you hated me.
ski00nut: When I think of san fran i think of people shooting people
ski00nut: eh?
ski00nut: Why would you think that?
Aw: uhh you put a dead fish in my hubcap
ski00nut: I did not
Aw: well actually ill never know if you REALLY did or not cuz i wrecked my car two days later
ski00nut: I didnt....
ski00nut: besides it was just a joke
Aw: well you were a dick and didnt talk to me for a long time after that
ski00nut: Thats true
ski00nut: Sorry about that...but it's a little deeper than just forgetting about you.....
ski00nut: I was interested in you...more than just friends....I tried to get some alone time with you by going to see a movie....but then your "friend" was comming along. Anyway, i guess its irrelevant now that your moving right?
Aw: yeah i guess
Aw: im sorry that you couldnt just tell me that.
ski00nut: Just so I know...and be honest...were you interested in me?
Aw: lol how could i be interested in someone who never opened up to me?
Aw: you played games, you were cranky and mean... i never truly got to know you.
Aw: lol
ski00nut: I guess thats fair
Aw: i hope you're not insulted by that
Aw: but if you hadn't been so mean, i might have been interested.
ski00nut: Mean like what?
Aw: most of the time i knew you, i had a boyfirend anyway
Aw: mean as in you never flirted, you just insulted me, played jokes on me
ski00nut: you have no idea how enlightening this is to me
ski00nut: as long as we are being honest....i guess i can tell you why...
Aw: ok
ski00nut: Back then I didnt have the confidence to do something as simple as flirt
ski00nut: The only way I felt confortable interacting with someone i liked was to act that way...
ski00nut: And usualy I got the same result as I did with you...nothing...there were only a few exceptions...
Aw: understandable. i used to be the same way... back in like the 3rd grade... lol. people just have confidence at different points in their lives
ski00nut: I wish I was then as I am now....maybe it would have been different between us.
Aw: maybe. but usually i had a boyfriend anyway, lol
Aw: hey... who was the friend who was gonna go to the movie with us? do you remember?
ski00nut: I dont recall his name....I just rememeber you liked the same music...and burned a few CD's before you left....
ski00nut: he might have driven a van??
Aw: Ohhhhh... AJ
Aw: yeah
ski00nut: that sounds right
AW: we're not friends anymore
Aw: lol
ski00nut: Thats no good
Aw: nah
Aw: he was psycho
Aw: he liked me too
ski00nut: lol
Aw: and he used to get pissed cuz he was like a brother to me
Aw: and i used to call him that
Aw: and it would frustrate him to all hell
ski00nut: then you shouldnt have done it....
ski00nut: How soon do you move to Cali?
Aw: aug 10
Aw: and i called aj that cuz i truly meant it and i didnt know it made him so mad...anyway one day he went nuts on me about it
Aw: and we fought like five million times
ski00nut: I see
ski00nut: Well...im glad we had this conversation
Aw: im glad you feel better
AwShooKie: and im sorry things didnt turn out the way you wanted
ski00nut: All for the better i guess.
Aw: yes.
Aw: i just got out of a relationship... probably the most in love i've ever been
ski00nut: im sorry
Aw: its okay
Aw: i still love him and always will
Aw: but we werent meant to be
ski00nut: I think love is something that is mutual...its not just "liking someone a whole lot" but knowing that they feel the exact same way as you without you even having to tell them.
ski00nut: I dont think ive ever had that....
ski00nut: Someday....
Aw: yeah
Aw: well thats the thing...
Aw: brian never loved me back
Aw: love isnt controlled
Aw: you cant choose who you love
Aw: and you cant make yourself not love someone
ski00nut: so true
Aw: and i tried so hard with brian cuz ive been hurt a lot before
Aw: and i didnt even realize it til i was sunk
Aw: and we broke up like two weeks later
Aw: so it REALLY hurt
ski00nut: is it true that its better to have loved and lost than to never love at all?
Aw: no
Aw: whoever said that has never loved
ski00nut: So where are we? You still want to keep in contact online frequently? Ocasionally? Every once in a long while? Forget about it all? ......what?
Aw: haha we're friends, come on now
ski00nut: Sounds good.
Aw: ill be online every now and then in CA... if you want to email me, cool
ski00nut: Cool.
Aw: well i gotta run,y ou can write me at *CHANGED*@yahoo.com
Aw signed off at 1:48:07 PM.

So at least this confirms that I am not ugly but just need to have some damn confidence.

She was incredibly Hott too :{. She had a nice personality to boot.

Ah well..

~springrain · 06-03-2003, 11:06 AM

Washington... *warm smile*... i think many of us are "proud" of you (for lack of a better word)... it takes guts to step up to the plate and take a chance...

now, if i could offer another bit of advice?

try not to over analyze this to death. yes, we can learn from our past mistakes ... but was also need to let go when the time is right... and move forward. that is where the truth growth lies... in the moving forward part.

don't worry so much about what you did or didn't "do right" in the past. keep being yourself... keep taking those chances and putting yourself out there... but try to remember not to "force it" or try too hard...

i think you're doing great so far... relax and ENJOY... that's what this whole dating this is supposed to be about isn't it?

Washington · 06-03-2003, 11:24 AM

Amen.

(and let it be so)

Ive got a run meet tonight. I emailed to confirm like someone suggested.

Ill post a message on here to let everyone know how it went and if I made any progress with this girl (Edit: the running girl).

Later :}

Washington · 06-03-2003, 04:43 PM

K

Little problem.

It is taking all my power as a mature human being not to scream a four letter word at the top of my lungs right now. Particuarally, I am thinking of the F word. Yea, that would be a nice one.

Well I went running.

This girl is 23. I am 19. Its not going to happen. GOD DAMN she is so hot and fun and humorous and happy and did i mention hot?

She's doing these freaking stretching things when were done. She has on the shortest shorts a runner could possibly find and only a sports bra. So here she is , on her back spread eagled with a big rubber band stretching her leg. her freaking ankle is up by her ear and I sweat I tried not to look but I could see her crotch (panties and all) and..well...more.

Damn I tried so hard not to look but damnit shes got some kinda of voodoo.

shes all happy and chit chatty so I do the same but I just keep thinking this could never happen. She is 23!

she is 4 years older than me and has graduated. Its just not going to happen.

"Hey, you wanna get togehter?

Sure, how about X (insert just about anywhere she would want to go here).

Oh sorry....im not 21."

So they invited me out to eat afterword and I said yes but while driving there i talked myself out of it and drove home instead.

I mean, wtf did I think I could do? These people are too old for me. I could not realte to anything they have to say. I probably couldnt even get into where they were eating (some sports bar). How lame is that?

FUCK ME.

The end.

Im gana go give myself a swirly in the toilet and just keep my head in there. For good.

Ps.. oh yea I forgot to mention they wasted me at about mile 4. They were running a 6-7min mile whereas I run about a 9 min mile at best (for a 10 mile run)

HeyAgain · 06-03-2003, 05:19 PM

4 years is not that much of a difference. As long as YOU have the maturity mindset, you are set.

Just tell them you weren't feeling well, and had to go home. Keeping going to the running group and see if you can get to know them better.

"I could not realte to anything they have to say." Are you certain that you don't have anything in common with them?

Washington · 06-03-2003, 05:41 PM

I dunno. Shes 23. The other guy is 35 (and a constant flirt with her..slapping her ass....teasing...comments...etc) The other guy is blind (legally blind) and is im gussing around 45-50 The other girl is 30.

ch1ld · 06-04-2003, 02:15 AM

First, don't throw away even potential friendships. You could tell them you got lost or something

This is the main thing tho:
Instead of focusing on finding a girl, focus on making friends. This can include guys or girls, but just focus on finding people you can hang out with, go out with (even if you cant drink), and can talk to. Talking is very important, learn the art of small talk

(girls love to talk about themselves, you can usually get them talking and just ask follow up questions for hours hehe) Once you find yourself with a good group of friends, branch out, you can probably find a girl from them.

As for good places to find these people, I tend to agree with the above post concerning moving out of the house, or getting a part time job.. plenty of ideas here..

I feel for you man, and good luck. Youre not the only one with these types of problems.

HiThereDear · 06-04-2003, 11:40 PM

I love this thread.

Anyways, I think you should forget about this girl, pulling a 23 y.o. at 19 is hard and really you wouldn't have enough in common for a relationship. But keep running with this group and be friends with them. When you get a few years older you'll really start to appreciate these elder friends. But you really are doing all the right things. Take all your new-found confidence to the classroom now. That's where you're gonna find your friends and girlfriend.

mystmarimatt · 06-05-2003, 12:20 AM

totally, advice abou not trying to find a girl, finding friends, it just doesn't work like that. or rarely does. but just keep at it Washington, these people like having you around, no reason to blow it now, don't let your insecurities get in the way of logic

Johnny Rotten · 06-05-2003, 12:49 AM

Hey, I was a loser until I got to college--didn't have a girlfriend or get *anywhere* with girls until I was 20 years old. I was one of those shy, introverted types.

Things will come around if you keep at it, bro. Take it from me. I've been where you are. Just some random who's not really popular and has no lady skills. But then a girl came along who was into me enough that my bumbling wasn't a problem.

Turns out the barrier wasn't that tall, I just needed help getting over it. After that, the loser became a stud. Not to get into any details, but this first GF of mine I could make weak in the knees before and after.

Keep it at. Don't let difficulties get you down. Some difficulties can't be avoided because of inexperience and they just have to be dealt with head-on. Roll with the punches. Practice makes perfect and all that.

Your efforts are not futile. With each attempt you make progress, more than you know.

holymoly · 06-05-2003, 12:51 AM

You sound a lot like me. I never dated through highschool, and didn't have any friends and pretty much took shit from everyone all the time. Towards the end of grade 12, I met some really incredible people who actually made me feel wanted, and I've really started to come out of my "shell" (I hate using cliche terms like that) though I'm still really uncomfortable in groups of people. But yeah, I don't really know if there's any point to this, except that stuff works out eventually, you just have to find the right people that you "fit" with...

Oh yeah, what type of stuff do you ride? (I ride MTB as well...)

Washington · 06-05-2003, 10:11 AM

technical moutnain biking. There is this place about an hour and 45 min away called vultures knob. Its in pennslyvania. Anyway, its featured in mtb magazines all the time> they have awesome downhills great bridges made of logs and stream crossings and very technical downhills.

Its geat.

Well its good to know that im not the only one. I emailed the running girl and said I had suddenly rememberd I needed to do homework (i actually did, i dont like to lie...lucky this truth worked). Then I emailed her this...

"Is the blind guy gana be there thurs? It isnt as motivating running behind him as it is you but I think his pace is a little more realistic for me right now"

I havent gotten a response back for either of them yet. Kinda worried I blew it.

I had some breakthrews in class.

The girl in psych class who is great (who is in the early stages of dating someone, i think she is on the second date) well i initiated a conversatio with her (I saw her in the computer testing lab the other day so I asked her how she did). the instructor came in not long after that so we didnt talk much but throughout the class i would look at her, then when she looked at me i would look away, after about 3 times of this I didnt look away and she smiled. Cant be a bad thing i guess.

Then, when i was waiting for fiction appreciation class to start i came up on a bench with a girl from class sitting on it, I went right up and sat my butt down right beside hers and said "hows it going"?

At first, I would say something and she would respond then silence. I kept at it, asking personal questions and then eventually she just blabbed and blabbed on her own! I just kept it going with little comments of how why when where? etc.

She is also older than me (im guessing 24?) but it cant hurt to practice.

I was so close in psych class to casually asking the girl if she wanted to grab a cup of coffe (there is a neto coffe house on campus) but ended up not doing it.

One step at a time I guess

later

holymoly · 06-05-2003, 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Washington
technical moutnain biking. There is this place about an hour and 45 min away called vultures knob. Its in pennslyvania. Anyway, its featured in mtb magazines all the time> they have awesome downhills great bridges made of logs and stream crossings and very technical downhills.

Its geat.

Sounds wicked. I'm from Vancouver So I mostly ride the shore type stuff, and Whistler when it's open. And tons of street, park and dirtjumping...

That's rad about the psych class girl. Unless she mentions a boyfriend or something, you should go for it. That's the thing I love about college, there's so many people that I figure if I do something dumb with someone, it's pretty easy to avoid them or whatever since there's so many people.

Washington · 06-05-2003, 03:31 PM

Hey thats great. I was in Canada this past winter taking a Canadian Avalanche Association certification course. I failed it.

Anyway, I have skied in whistler and its big, but honestly I dont like it as much as some smaller resorts. I mean, its got a lot of acerage but you dont really ski the bottom half of the moutnain anyway.. good for cruisers if you like that sort of stuff I guess.

Only problem is if i mess it up I will have to see her everyday from now till end of the 5 weeks. Oh well, there are only 1.5 weeks left anyway.

rmarshall · 06-05-2003, 06:08 PM

You're young, busy and don't have a lot of time. Most people are busy and don't have much time. They walk around with blinders on and don't think of all the potential mates they walk by every day.

You won't meet many girls in the gymn or on the street.

I found my last three girlfriends on dreammates (www.dreammates.com). There are dozens of dating services like this. I had dates with a half dozen or so before I found my sweetie. I had dates two or three nights a week.

Women get on the computer and then they have time to look for dates. There are thousands of women looking for you. There's a few dogs, but some are just busy students or too busy and prefer finding dates on the internet.

Find a few girls, not just one. It does wonders for your ego. Pick one you like best after dating them all and then dump the rest.

Worked for me and I'm an ugly, old, fat fart.

Washington · 06-05-2003, 06:52 PM

That made me smile lol.

I actually posted another topic on online dating services. Isnt there kind of a stigma about them?

Bah, there i go again thinking too much. It couldnt hurt to use it as another resource. How much does it cost?

rmarshall · 06-05-2003, 08:54 PM

You pay nothing to look. You buy some credits to send messages to potential mates. Maybe a buck or two each. So you buy a whack of credits, like $10 or $20 worth. Not too many, you might luck out and never use all your credits. The women can respond for free (I think).

Then you can send subsequent messages to that person for free, but I think it's better to exchange email addresses as soon as possible.

holymoly · 06-05-2003, 11:58 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Washington
Hey thats great. I was in Canada this past winter taking a Canadian Avalanche Association certification course. I failed it.

Anyway, I have skied in whistler and its big, but honestly I dont like it as much as some smaller resorts. I mean, its got a lot of acerage but you dont really ski the bottom half of the moutnain anyway.. good for cruisers if you like that sort of stuff I guess.

Only problem is if i mess it up I will have to see her everyday from now till end of the 5 weeks. Oh well, there are only 1.5 weeks left anyway.

Heh, I don't ski/snowboard (how odd is that? There's whistler 1.5hrs away, and 3 smaller mountains right on the edge of town...), but whistler in the summer for bikes is probably the greatest place ever if you're a downhiller/freerider/aren't morally opposed to chairlifts.

How many people are there in the class? I'm used to pretty big classes so it might be totally different...

ch1ld · 06-06-2003, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Washington
Then, when i was waiting for fiction appreciation class to start i came up on a bench with a girl from class sitting on it, I went right up and sat my butt down right beside hers and said "hows it going"?

At first, I would say something and she would respond then silence. I kept at it, asking personal questions and then eventually she just blabbed and blabbed on her own! I just kept it going with little comments of how why when where? etc.

She is also older than me (im guessing 24?) but it cant hurt to practice.

What did i tell you man? Most girls are like this, good for you

geep · 06-06-2003, 10:53 AM

Why are you so hung up on this age thing? We old people like friends and lovers too!

rockzilla · 06-06-2003, 11:22 AM

When I was your age Washington, I was lucky enough to find an older woman or two who were kind enough to teach me a couple of things about how to please a lady. Don't get hung up on age, you're not in high school anymore. Sounds like you're getting a lot more confidence, just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be a ladies man in no time.

Washington · 06-06-2003, 11:43 AM

I guess I just worry that I cant go out and do things because im not 21.

These are summer classes so there are only about 15 people per class.

Opiate · 06-06-2003, 11:46 PM

im not going to say much here, apart from one little point about the age thing....

esp at college (university here :P ) people KNOW people. u might meet some girl who is 24, who knows someone who is 22 who knows someone who is 19. get to know the 24 year old, and through that i can guarantee one day you may strike up a relationship with the 22 year old, even if its just a passing "hey hows it going?" every time u see her at Uni. the more people you know regardless of age, the more potential friends you have access to.

btw, this thread has put a huge smile on my face as i can relate to alot of things that people have been saying.

oh and another thing which im probably just repeating is ENJOY YOURSELF! have fun and stop trying too hard. play it cool and be yourself and friends will appear almost out of nowhere. i can guarantee it. i can alerady see this happening from the reports youve given.

anyway ill stop blabbering, damn distractions from studying

Talo · 06-07-2003, 04:27 PM

I would recommend going to some parties and tryign to meet people there.

You sound like your on a very healthy system and that its working for you, but if your going to colledge and want to meet women and have a good time I'd definatly try to find some parties.

OzOz · 06-07-2003, 06:22 PM

Hey Washington, it's been really good to watch this thread (and you!) progress. I don't know that I can add much to what everyone else has already said, but don't worry about the age difference between you and your running friends. Just remember: if they didn't like you, they wouldn't want to hang out with you. Do you relate to what they have to say when you're running with them? You come across in here as being "mature enough".

Also, if you do get asked out somewhere that you can go to (and that age restriction will be history all too soon!), if you'd like to go, just go. Only say no if otherwise the world will end. Above all, relax, be yourself and ENJOY, and don't be afraid to let other people enjoy you!

"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt."

holymoly · 06-08-2003, 12:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Opiate
oh and another thing which im probably just repeating is ENJOY YOURSELF! have fun and stop trying too hard. play it cool and be yourself and friends will appear almost out of nowhere. i can guarantee it. i can alerady see this happening from the reports youve given

Even though this is some of the most commonly given advice, it's definately the most true. The moment I stopped caring what people thought of me (well, just random people, not people who I care for), my life became 1000x more fun and everything just started falling in place. I mean, I act like an idiot 70% of the time, do silly things, make a fool of myself, etc (and I know it, but whatever, that's just who I am...). And lots of people think I'm a moron and don't want anything to do with me, but that's great because I generally don't want anything to do with them if they take themselves that seriously, so it acts as a good screen

Also, about the age thing, I'm 19 and even before I was 19 (drinking age here) I had plenty of friends who were older than me by up to 14 years even. Sure I couldn't go to the bar or whatever with them, but they don't spend ALL their time in the bars or whatever, and so I hang out with them at other places/times. I don't really see much more of them or anything since I turned 19 and could go out to the bar...

alterEGO · 06-08-2003, 12:15 AM

You'll probably oversee my reply but whatever.

I'm glad noone i know can read this board so im gonna tell it anyways. You're probably not the only one. I'm 21 and only have had 1 gf, that didn't last long. I met her on the net ( yeah im a loser ) so we started going out. She hugged me and kissed me , i was pretty happy about the way things were going at the time. Until i left her house went home and started to miss her intensly after a few days. She was busy with college for a week, so i contacted her and asked if we could meet again fast. After a while ( around 2 weeks if i remember correctly ) it bothered her and she said hey if your gonna whine all day this relationship won't do me no good, so she broke up with me. My heart was crushed, but at the other hand i only knew this girl for a couple weeks it was pathetic. And at the time i had no friends, and i was looking for a girl to make my life completly you know? But i figured it would never work.

Im currently looking out for a girl i know at school. Goddamn gorgous and my type. But i don't know her at all so it's kinda hard to take an approach and tlak to her about something. She'll probably think im a weirdo for going over to talk to her anyways. Friday morning i arrived at school and their she sat around with my schoolfriends. They didn't know her but she was studying some papers. I almost had the guts to talk to her about something like "hey what are you studying ?" but i didn't.

madsenj37 · 06-08-2003, 02:02 AM

I am the same way and slowly getting better. The best advice I can give you is its now or never. Its all up to you to face your fears/anxieties (whatever they may be). Second of all, if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself. Friends and family are nice to have, but you have to make stuff happen. You cannot sit back and hope everything works out. Thirdly, be yourself as others have said. Do not try to be someone else. You cannot be someone else all your life.

Washington · 06-08-2003, 05:24 AM

alterEGO,

man I dont know if im in the posistion to give adivce yet or not, but I'll tell you this: i asked someone out two days ago. She essentially said no and I said something like "alright, thats too bad your missing out".

You know what? I felt like a million bucks. I started signing a long to sohpie B hawkings "as I lay me down" in my truck as I drove home. I got turned down but for the first time in my life I....I inniated the contact and I found out if it might work out... it didnt but im so damn glad I know that and am not still thinking about her right now wondering. (well okay iam thinking about her because im writing this but anyway).

Im gana ask that older girl in my ethics class if she wants to get some coffee after our study group this wednessday. I dont even care what she says im just so damn happy I KNOW I am going to actually ask her.

Forks,

I think you kinda have the right idea for me, its good to relax and mess around but im not going to stop working out (i dont just do it to better my appearance, I need it to do my job in the winter).

once I get friends I would be happy to go drinking with the at a party...but you need to know people and know where there is a party before this can happen....

HeyAgain · 06-08-2003, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Washington
You know what? I felt like a million bucks. I started signing a long to sohpie B hawkings "as I lay me down" in my truck as I drove home.

Off topic, but that's a great song.

Washington · 06-08-2003, 12:14 PM

Hehe I know, I have the CD but dont like any other song on it besides that one....

-Ever- · 06-08-2003, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Forks
ok Washington. im gonna give you my best shot. i was a lot like you so i know this is going to sting you a little but its for your own good:

1. stop talking about yourself. maybe its burnt into us from the time we are born that we are the center of the world, but its not the way to interact. you were fat once, its the past. its over. you seem overly obsessed with bettering yourself. that is good in some ways, but it also puts people off because you could be spending some of your energy listening to them or being a bud. just relax.

2. i liked Mondak's advice. you need to dirty up a bit, brother. you seem uptight and anal. no offense (hell i was worse!). stop living life on a schedule and being so hardcore. like in the matrix, stop trying to hit me and just hit me. you don't need plans, clubs, yada yada. you need mojo. quit working out so damn much! you know what that is? its masturbation for your ego.

3. learn to listen to people. im not just talking about listening to them as it relates to your own needs either. seems you are having a problem making friends and you need to address that before you can make a girlfriend. find a couple of grubby, obnoxious bastards and go to a strip club together. nothing brings men together like tits and ass- tell me you won't have something to talk about? find guys who you might otherwise dislike, distrust, or have absolutely nothing in common with and then just do it. some of my best college buds were people i had nothing in common with at all. you will learn a lot from these guys and you will have fun being a young man.

4. never, ever talk about yourself to women. at least not until you are in a relationship. it will turn them off because you are trying too damn hard. just listen and ask questions about their lives. otherwise you might hear that they complained to someone, "all he did was talk about himself". (hey, ive heard this one)

5. drink. yep, i agree with Mondak. uptight people need to drink or get put on paxil. go out with the guys, get messed up and have a ball. then you won't need to be drunk to have something to say to them (but it still helps). when you find a group of fun guys, the ladies naturally will follow. it was funny, the ugliest guy i knew back in college (my best bud, looked like a train ran over him 3 times) had a way of bringing me all the ladies. he had a way with women, but they just weren't attracted to him. he would be like my ice-breaker and lots of times id get a date through him. god i love that guy

good luck bud- and move out of your parent's house ASAP.

'

Just wanted to say that I support almost everything he said. Go for it!

Washington · 06-12-2003, 09:03 AM

UPDATE:

okay, as of today we only have one more day left. The older girl whom I talk to every day and sit by ive kinda written off since she is almost graduated and moving to florida this fall.

However, there are 3 other girls in the class who I wouldnt mind getting to know better.

So, today while filling out the instructor review cards, I decided to "time" my finishing with her finishing so I could talk to her while we walked to our cars...

Well her dang friend seemed to have the same idea as me and somehow they both finished at the same exact time so I knew I wouldnt be alone with her.

But I still told myself "im not getting out of this, im talking to her whether im alone with her, whether her friend is there, even if I dont have anything to say...im GOING to talk to her"

So, in the way out i followed them for a few feet trying to think of somethign to say.

luckily, she did it for me and turned around and asked how my study group went last night. I told her "it was good" and started talking about the class and the final tomorrow.

She turned to her friend and before I knew it, it was just me and her. I told her I could send the outline I made for the test to her via email if she wanted. She said okay and I asked for her email. I got it. We said some other stuff and that was it.

Now that I think about it, her friend was waiting for her at her car . So it couldnt have been that they had to go seperate ways. she must have told her friend to bug off....

There are a million reasons I can think of to not ask her but in her email I told her to let me know how she does on the exam and if she replies im gana ask her if she wants to get together.

well see.

Not_You · 06-12-2003, 10:42 AM

Getting drunk and wandering into some random party in a college town always worked for me. I would have a great night and meet lots of people, only some of which I could remember.

Also you said everyone at your gym was 30 or 40... Do they have kids? maybe they might be willing to introduce you.. You are a healthy guy that is in the gym, not doing drugs.

Washington · 06-13-2003, 10:16 AM

haha, the shotgun method always works i guess.

I asked 4 girls for their emails and got 3. Thats not too bad.

I know have 5 emails adresses of girls. Heh, now the hard part (and fun part...)

Lata!

06-01-2003, 12:22 PM	#42 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	Thanks a lot everyone...every little bit of encouragement helps.. She (running girl) sent me this email today....names changed and all.... John Yeah Tues. same time. I will probably be the only girl that you see with no shirt on and just a sports bra. That's what I'm infamous for, is not wearing much clothes! And you will probably see me hanging out with a bald guy named Joe. Do you still need directions? Did you find it okay? Do you live in Green? I saw that you have a 699 phone#. I live in green too, but I come from work in stow, which is down the street from the natatorium. Hope to see you on Tues.! Lisa okay what do i write back? "you dont wear clothes? sweeeeet" seriously....I need to think of something witty...i cant just ignore the fact that she told me she is famous for not wearing any clothes! a little help again? thanks __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-01-2003, 12:32 PM	#43 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	okay i wrote something but it wasnt witty.. it was like.... "a pretty nekid girl and a bald guy should be too hard to find"...... __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-03-2003, 10:13 AM	#46 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	Well..I recently spoke with an old friend. She and I were lifeguards together. She would constantly flirt with me and flash me etc. I still couldnt make it happen. I think I really have a complete understanding of what I used to do wrong. I changed her screenname to protect her.... here is the transcript from AOL IM... ski00nut: Wow, its been a while Aw: yeah cuz i dont have this SN anymore ski00nut: You working at the hole this summer? Aw: no i quit Aw: last year Aw: to go to school Aw: now im moving to CA ski00nut: exciting 8-) ski00nut: near the water? Aw: about 45 minutes Aw: im right next to san fran ski00nut: sweet Aw: yes. Aw: why are you being so nice to me? Aw: i thought you hated me. ski00nut: When I think of san fran i think of people shooting people ski00nut: eh? ski00nut: Why would you think that? Aw: uhh you put a dead fish in my hubcap ski00nut: I did not Aw: well actually ill never know if you REALLY did or not cuz i wrecked my car two days later ski00nut: I didnt.... ski00nut: besides it was just a joke Aw: well you were a dick and didnt talk to me for a long time after that ski00nut: Thats true ski00nut: Sorry about that...but it's a little deeper than just forgetting about you..... ski00nut: I was interested in you...more than just friends....I tried to get some alone time with you by going to see a movie....but then your "friend" was comming along. Anyway, i guess its irrelevant now that your moving right? Aw: yeah i guess Aw: im sorry that you couldnt just tell me that. ski00nut: Just so I know...and be honest...were you interested in me? Aw: lol how could i be interested in someone who never opened up to me? Aw: you played games, you were cranky and mean... i never truly got to know you. Aw: lol ski00nut: I guess thats fair Aw: i hope you're not insulted by that Aw: but if you hadn't been so mean, i might have been interested. ski00nut: Mean like what? Aw: most of the time i knew you, i had a boyfirend anyway Aw: mean as in you never flirted, you just insulted me, played jokes on me ski00nut: you have no idea how enlightening this is to me ski00nut: as long as we are being honest....i guess i can tell you why... Aw: ok ski00nut: Back then I didnt have the confidence to do something as simple as flirt ski00nut: The only way I felt confortable interacting with someone i liked was to act that way... ski00nut: And usualy I got the same result as I did with you...nothing...there were only a few exceptions... Aw: understandable. i used to be the same way... back in like the 3rd grade... lol. people just have confidence at different points in their lives ski00nut: I wish I was then as I am now....maybe it would have been different between us. Aw: maybe. but usually i had a boyfriend anyway, lol Aw: hey... who was the friend who was gonna go to the movie with us? do you remember? ski00nut: I dont recall his name....I just rememeber you liked the same music...and burned a few CD's before you left.... ski00nut: he might have driven a van?? Aw: Ohhhhh... AJ Aw: yeah ski00nut: that sounds right AW: we're not friends anymore Aw: lol ski00nut: Thats no good Aw: nah Aw: he was psycho Aw: he liked me too ski00nut: lol Aw: and he used to get pissed cuz he was like a brother to me Aw: and i used to call him that Aw: and it would frustrate him to all hell ski00nut: then you shouldnt have done it.... ski00nut: How soon do you move to Cali? Aw: aug 10 Aw: and i called aj that cuz i truly meant it and i didnt know it made him so mad...anyway one day he went nuts on me about it Aw: and we fought like five million times ski00nut: I see ski00nut: Well...im glad we had this conversation Aw: im glad you feel better AwShooKie: and im sorry things didnt turn out the way you wanted ski00nut: All for the better i guess. Aw: yes. Aw: i just got out of a relationship... probably the most in love i've ever been ski00nut: im sorry Aw: its okay Aw: i still love him and always will Aw: but we werent meant to be ski00nut: I think love is something that is mutual...its not just "liking someone a whole lot" but knowing that they feel the exact same way as you without you even having to tell them. ski00nut: I dont think ive ever had that.... ski00nut: Someday.... Aw: yeah Aw: well thats the thing... Aw: brian never loved me back Aw: love isnt controlled Aw: you cant choose who you love Aw: and you cant make yourself not love someone ski00nut: so true Aw: and i tried so hard with brian cuz ive been hurt a lot before Aw: and i didnt even realize it til i was sunk Aw: and we broke up like two weeks later Aw: so it REALLY hurt ski00nut: is it true that its better to have loved and lost than to never love at all? Aw: no Aw: whoever said that has never loved ski00nut: So where are we? You still want to keep in contact online frequently? Ocasionally? Every once in a long while? Forget about it all? ......what? Aw: haha we're friends, come on now ski00nut: Sounds good. Aw: ill be online every now and then in CA... if you want to email me, cool ski00nut: Cool. Aw: well i gotta run,y ou can write me at CHANGED@yahoo.com Aw signed off at 1:48:07 PM. So at least this confirms that I am not ugly but just need to have some damn confidence. She was incredibly Hott too :{. She had a nice personality to boot. Ah well.. __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-03-2003, 11:24 AM	#48 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	Amen. (and let it be so) Ive got a run meet tonight. I emailed to confirm like someone suggested. Ill post a message on here to let everyone know how it went and if I made any progress with this girl (Edit: the running girl). Later :} __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-03-2003, 04:43 PM	#49 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	K Little problem. It is taking all my power as a mature human being not to scream a four letter word at the top of my lungs right now. Particuarally, I am thinking of the F word. Yea, that would be a nice one. Well I went running. This girl is 23. I am 19. Its not going to happen. GOD DAMN she is so hot and fun and humorous and happy and did i mention hot? She's doing these freaking stretching things when were done. She has on the shortest shorts a runner could possibly find and only a sports bra. So here she is , on her back spread eagled with a big rubber band stretching her leg. her freaking ankle is up by her ear and I sweat I tried not to look but I could see her crotch (panties and all) and..well...more. Damn I tried so hard not to look but damnit shes got some kinda of voodoo. shes all happy and chit chatty so I do the same but I just keep thinking this could never happen. She is 23! she is 4 years older than me and has graduated. Its just not going to happen. "Hey, you wanna get togehter? Sure, how about X (insert just about anywhere she would want to go here). Oh sorry....im not 21." So they invited me out to eat afterword and I said yes but while driving there i talked myself out of it and drove home instead. I mean, wtf did I think I could do? These people are too old for me. I could not realte to anything they have to say. I probably couldnt even get into where they were eating (some sports bar). How lame is that? FUCK ME. The end. Im gana go give myself a swirly in the toilet and just keep my head in there. For good. Ps.. oh yea I forgot to mention they wasted me at about mile 4. They were running a 6-7min mile whereas I run about a 9 min mile at best (for a 10 mile run) __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-01-2003, 01:35 PM	#44 (permalink)
~springrain Banned Location: central USA	chuckle... witty enough for me... and i'm glad you wrote back... you could write again... closer to Tuesday... just to "confirm"... you could also add a "looking forward to it" or something along those lines... good luck... you're doing great!

06-02-2003, 07:00 AM	#45 (permalink)
ratbastid Darth Papa Location: Yonder	You ROCK, Washington! See what happens when you relax and be yourself? We're proud of you, bud! Keep it up!

06-03-2003, 11:06 AM	#47 (permalink)
~springrain Banned Location: central USA	Washington... warm smile... i think many of us are "proud" of you (for lack of a better word)... it takes guts to step up to the plate and take a chance... now, if i could offer another bit of advice? try not to over analyze this to death. yes, we can learn from our past mistakes ... but was also need to let go when the time is right... and move forward. that is where the truth growth lies... in the moving forward part. don't worry so much about what you did or didn't "do right" in the past. keep being yourself... keep taking those chances and putting yourself out there... but try to remember not to "force it" or try too hard... i think you're doing great so far... relax and ENJOY... that's what this whole dating this is supposed to be about isn't it?

06-03-2003, 05:19 PM	#50 (permalink)
HeyAgain Psycho	4 years is not that much of a difference. As long as YOU have the maturity mindset, you are set. Just tell them you weren't feeling well, and had to go home. Keeping going to the running group and see if you can get to know them better. "I could not realte to anything they have to say." Are you certain that you don't have anything in common with them? Last edited by HeyAgain; 06-03-2003 at 05:22 PM..

06-03-2003, 05:41 PM	#51 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	I dunno. Shes 23. The other guy is 35 (and a constant flirt with her..slapping her ass....teasing...comments...etc) The other guy is blind (legally blind) and is im gussing around 45-50 The other girl is 30. __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-04-2003, 02:15 AM	#52 (permalink)
ch1ld Upright	First, don't throw away even potential friendships. You could tell them you got lost or something This is the main thing tho: Instead of focusing on finding a girl, focus on making friends. This can include guys or girls, but just focus on finding people you can hang out with, go out with (even if you cant drink), and can talk to. Talking is very important, learn the art of small talk (girls love to talk about themselves, you can usually get them talking and just ask follow up questions for hours hehe) Once you find yourself with a good group of friends, branch out, you can probably find a girl from them. As for good places to find these people, I tend to agree with the above post concerning moving out of the house, or getting a part time job.. plenty of ideas here.. I feel for you man, and good luck. Youre not the only one with these types of problems.

06-04-2003, 11:40 PM	#53 (permalink)
HiThereDear Insane	I love this thread. Anyways, I think you should forget about this girl, pulling a 23 y.o. at 19 is hard and really you wouldn't have enough in common for a relationship. But keep running with this group and be friends with them. When you get a few years older you'll really start to appreciate these elder friends. But you really are doing all the right things. Take all your new-found confidence to the classroom now. That's where you're gonna find your friends and girlfriend.

06-05-2003, 12:20 AM	#54 (permalink)
mystmarimatt Omnipotent Ruler Of The Tiny Universe In My Mind Location: Oreegawn	totally, advice abou not trying to find a girl, finding friends, it just doesn't work like that. or rarely does. but just keep at it Washington, these people like having you around, no reason to blow it now, don't let your insecurities get in the way of logic __________________ Words of Wisdom: If you could really get to know someone and know that they weren't lying to you, then you would know the world was real. Because you could agree on things, you could compare notes. That must be why people get married or make Art. So they'll be able to really know something and not go insane.

06-05-2003, 12:49 AM	#55 (permalink)
Johnny Rotten lost and found Location: Berkeley	Hey, I was a loser until I got to college--didn't have a girlfriend or get anywhere with girls until I was 20 years old. I was one of those shy, introverted types. Things will come around if you keep at it, bro. Take it from me. I've been where you are. Just some random who's not really popular and has no lady skills. But then a girl came along who was into me enough that my bumbling wasn't a problem. Turns out the barrier wasn't that tall, I just needed help getting over it. After that, the loser became a stud. Not to get into any details, but this first GF of mine I could make weak in the knees before and after. Keep it at. Don't let difficulties get you down. Some difficulties can't be avoided because of inexperience and they just have to be dealt with head-on. Roll with the punches. Practice makes perfect and all that. Your efforts are not futile. With each attempt you make progress, more than you know.

06-05-2003, 12:51 AM	#56 (permalink)
holymoly Upright	You sound a lot like me. I never dated through highschool, and didn't have any friends and pretty much took shit from everyone all the time. Towards the end of grade 12, I met some really incredible people who actually made me feel wanted, and I've really started to come out of my "shell" (I hate using cliche terms like that) though I'm still really uncomfortable in groups of people. But yeah, I don't really know if there's any point to this, except that stuff works out eventually, you just have to find the right people that you "fit" with... Oh yeah, what type of stuff do you ride? (I ride MTB as well...)

06-05-2003, 10:11 AM	#57 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	technical moutnain biking. There is this place about an hour and 45 min away called vultures knob. Its in pennslyvania. Anyway, its featured in mtb magazines all the time> they have awesome downhills great bridges made of logs and stream crossings and very technical downhills. Its geat. Well its good to know that im not the only one. I emailed the running girl and said I had suddenly rememberd I needed to do homework (i actually did, i dont like to lie...lucky this truth worked). Then I emailed her this... "Is the blind guy gana be there thurs? It isnt as motivating running behind him as it is you but I think his pace is a little more realistic for me right now" I havent gotten a response back for either of them yet. Kinda worried I blew it. I had some breakthrews in class. The girl in psych class who is great (who is in the early stages of dating someone, i think she is on the second date) well i initiated a conversatio with her (I saw her in the computer testing lab the other day so I asked her how she did). the instructor came in not long after that so we didnt talk much but throughout the class i would look at her, then when she looked at me i would look away, after about 3 times of this I didnt look away and she smiled. Cant be a bad thing i guess. Then, when i was waiting for fiction appreciation class to start i came up on a bench with a girl from class sitting on it, I went right up and sat my butt down right beside hers and said "hows it going"? At first, I would say something and she would respond then silence. I kept at it, asking personal questions and then eventually she just blabbed and blabbed on her own! I just kept it going with little comments of how why when where? etc. She is also older than me (im guessing 24?) but it cant hurt to practice. I was so close in psych class to casually asking the girl if she wanted to grab a cup of coffe (there is a neto coffe house on campus) but ended up not doing it. One step at a time I guess later __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-05-2003, 03:31 PM	#59 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	Hey thats great. I was in Canada this past winter taking a Canadian Avalanche Association certification course. I failed it. Anyway, I have skied in whistler and its big, but honestly I dont like it as much as some smaller resorts. I mean, its got a lot of acerage but you dont really ski the bottom half of the moutnain anyway.. good for cruisers if you like that sort of stuff I guess. Only problem is if i mess it up I will have to see her everyday from now till end of the 5 weeks. Oh well, there are only 1.5 weeks left anyway. __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-05-2003, 06:08 PM	#60 (permalink)
rmarshall Addict Location: Kingston,Ontario	You're young, busy and don't have a lot of time. Most people are busy and don't have much time. They walk around with blinders on and don't think of all the potential mates they walk by every day. You won't meet many girls in the gymn or on the street. I found my last three girlfriends on dreammates (www.dreammates.com). There are dozens of dating services like this. I had dates with a half dozen or so before I found my sweetie. I had dates two or three nights a week. Women get on the computer and then they have time to look for dates. There are thousands of women looking for you. There's a few dogs, but some are just busy students or too busy and prefer finding dates on the internet. Find a few girls, not just one. It does wonders for your ego. Pick one you like best after dating them all and then dump the rest. Worked for me and I'm an ugly, old, fat fart. __________________ "Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege" Irish proverb

06-05-2003, 06:52 PM	#61 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	That made me smile lol. I actually posted another topic on online dating services. Isnt there kind of a stigma about them? Bah, there i go again thinking too much. It couldnt hurt to use it as another resource. How much does it cost? __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-05-2003, 08:54 PM	#62 (permalink)
rmarshall Addict Location: Kingston,Ontario	You pay nothing to look. You buy some credits to send messages to potential mates. Maybe a buck or two each. So you buy a whack of credits, like $10 or $20 worth. Not too many, you might luck out and never use all your credits. The women can respond for free (I think). Then you can send subsequent messages to that person for free, but I think it's better to exchange email addresses as soon as possible. __________________ "Do not resent growing old. Many are denied the privilege" Irish proverb

06-06-2003, 10:53 AM	#65 (permalink)
geep Insane Location: Imprisoned in Ecotopia	Why are you so hung up on this age thing? We old people like friends and lovers too!

06-06-2003, 11:22 AM	#66 (permalink)
rockzilla Junkie Location: The Kitchen	When I was your age Washington, I was lucky enough to find an older woman or two who were kind enough to teach me a couple of things about how to please a lady. Don't get hung up on age, you're not in high school anymore. Sounds like you're getting a lot more confidence, just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be a ladies man in no time.

06-06-2003, 11:43 AM	#67 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	I guess I just worry that I cant go out and do things because im not 21. These are summer classes so there are only about 15 people per class. __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-06-2003, 11:46 PM	#68 (permalink)
Opiate Tilted Location: Melbourne	im not going to say much here, apart from one little point about the age thing.... esp at college (university here :P ) people KNOW people. u might meet some girl who is 24, who knows someone who is 22 who knows someone who is 19. get to know the 24 year old, and through that i can guarantee one day you may strike up a relationship with the 22 year old, even if its just a passing "hey hows it going?" every time u see her at Uni. the more people you know regardless of age, the more potential friends you have access to. btw, this thread has put a huge smile on my face as i can relate to alot of things that people have been saying. oh and another thing which im probably just repeating is ENJOY YOURSELF! have fun and stop trying too hard. play it cool and be yourself and friends will appear almost out of nowhere. i can guarantee it. i can alerady see this happening from the reports youve given. anyway ill stop blabbering, damn distractions from studying __________________ when i am king, you will be first against the wall...

06-07-2003, 04:27 PM	#69 (permalink)
Talo Insane	I would recommend going to some parties and tryign to meet people there. You sound like your on a very healthy system and that its working for you, but if your going to colledge and want to meet women and have a good time I'd definatly try to find some parties.

06-07-2003, 06:22 PM	#70 (permalink)
OzOz Psycho Location: Right here, right now.	Hey Washington, it's been really good to watch this thread (and you!) progress. I don't know that I can add much to what everyone else has already said, but don't worry about the age difference between you and your running friends. Just remember: if they didn't like you, they wouldn't want to hang out with you. Do you relate to what they have to say when you're running with them? You come across in here as being "mature enough". Also, if you do get asked out somewhere that you can go to (and that age restriction will be history all too soon!), if you'd like to go, just go. Only say no if otherwise the world will end. Above all, relax, be yourself and ENJOY, and don't be afraid to let other people enjoy you! "Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt." __________________ Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you wanna keep fighting evil today.

06-08-2003, 12:15 AM	#72 (permalink)
alterEGO Loser	You'll probably oversee my reply but whatever. I'm glad noone i know can read this board so im gonna tell it anyways. You're probably not the only one. I'm 21 and only have had 1 gf, that didn't last long. I met her on the net ( yeah im a loser ) so we started going out. She hugged me and kissed me , i was pretty happy about the way things were going at the time. Until i left her house went home and started to miss her intensly after a few days. She was busy with college for a week, so i contacted her and asked if we could meet again fast. After a while ( around 2 weeks if i remember correctly ) it bothered her and she said hey if your gonna whine all day this relationship won't do me no good, so she broke up with me. My heart was crushed, but at the other hand i only knew this girl for a couple weeks it was pathetic. And at the time i had no friends, and i was looking for a girl to make my life completly you know? But i figured it would never work. Im currently looking out for a girl i know at school. Goddamn gorgous and my type. But i don't know her at all so it's kinda hard to take an approach and tlak to her about something. She'll probably think im a weirdo for going over to talk to her anyways. Friday morning i arrived at school and their she sat around with my schoolfriends. They didn't know her but she was studying some papers. I almost had the guts to talk to her about something like "hey what are you studying ?" but i didn't.

06-08-2003, 02:02 AM	#73 (permalink)
madsenj37 Still searching... Location: NorCal For Life	I am the same way and slowly getting better. The best advice I can give you is its now or never. Its all up to you to face your fears/anxieties (whatever they may be). Second of all, if you want something done, you gotta do it yourself. Friends and family are nice to have, but you have to make stuff happen. You cannot sit back and hope everything works out. Thirdly, be yourself as others have said. Do not try to be someone else. You cannot be someone else all your life. __________________ "Only two things are certain: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not certain about the universe." -- Albert Einstein

06-08-2003, 05:24 AM	#74 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	alterEGO, man I dont know if im in the posistion to give adivce yet or not, but I'll tell you this: i asked someone out two days ago. She essentially said no and I said something like "alright, thats too bad your missing out". You know what? I felt like a million bucks. I started signing a long to sohpie B hawkings "as I lay me down" in my truck as I drove home. I got turned down but for the first time in my life I....I inniated the contact and I found out if it might work out... it didnt but im so damn glad I know that and am not still thinking about her right now wondering. (well okay iam thinking about her because im writing this but anyway). Im gana ask that older girl in my ethics class if she wants to get some coffee after our study group this wednessday. I dont even care what she says im just so damn happy I KNOW I am going to actually ask her. Forks, I think you kinda have the right idea for me, its good to relax and mess around but im not going to stop working out (i dont just do it to better my appearance, I need it to do my job in the winter). once I get friends I would be happy to go drinking with the at a party...but you need to know people and know where there is a party before this can happen.... __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-08-2003, 12:14 PM	#76 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	Hehe I know, I have the CD but dont like any other song on it besides that one.... __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-12-2003, 09:03 AM	#78 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	UPDATE: okay, as of today we only have one more day left. The older girl whom I talk to every day and sit by ive kinda written off since she is almost graduated and moving to florida this fall. However, there are 3 other girls in the class who I wouldnt mind getting to know better. So, today while filling out the instructor review cards, I decided to "time" my finishing with her finishing so I could talk to her while we walked to our cars... Well her dang friend seemed to have the same idea as me and somehow they both finished at the same exact time so I knew I wouldnt be alone with her. But I still told myself "im not getting out of this, im talking to her whether im alone with her, whether her friend is there, even if I dont have anything to say...im GOING to talk to her" So, in the way out i followed them for a few feet trying to think of somethign to say. luckily, she did it for me and turned around and asked how my study group went last night. I told her "it was good" and started talking about the class and the final tomorrow. She turned to her friend and before I knew it, it was just me and her. I told her I could send the outline I made for the test to her via email if she wanted. She said okay and I asked for her email. I got it. We said some other stuff and that was it. Now that I think about it, her friend was waiting for her at her car . So it couldnt have been that they had to go seperate ways. she must have told her friend to bug off.... There are a million reasons I can think of to not ask her but in her email I told her to let me know how she does on the exam and if she replies im gana ask her if she wants to get together. well see. __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.

06-12-2003, 10:42 AM	#79 (permalink)
Not_You Crazy Location: BFE	Getting drunk and wandering into some random party in a college town always worked for me. I would have a great night and meet lots of people, only some of which I could remember. Also you said everyone at your gym was 30 or 40... Do they have kids? maybe they might be willing to introduce you.. You are a healthy guy that is in the gym, not doing drugs. __________________ Who stole the ham?

06-13-2003, 10:16 AM	#80 (permalink)
Washington Insane Location: somewhere cool	haha, the shotgun method always works i guess. I asked 4 girls for their emails and got 3. Thats not too bad. I know have 5 emails adresses of girls. Heh, now the hard part (and fun part...) Lata! __________________ there is no absolute, only the moment.