Domestic Disturbance
 

half an hour ago I heard a scream as I was lying on the sofa watching a movie. I knew it was coming from my female neighbour because she and her boyfriend have had some nasty fights from time to time. So I turn the volume down and listened to her and her boyfriend's voice in order to determine whether or not there was.... something going on.

The only thing I could hear was some mumbling and her going.. "I don't wanna do this anymore" and then she screamed again. As I stood there listening I thought about whether or not I should do something.

By her third scream I turned around, walked pass Loverboy as I said that's IT! and I walked up to her door and rang the bells several times. I folded my arms and prepared my strict tone voice. After a few seconds R. opened and she looked sad, confused and embarrased. So I asked "what the FUCK is going on?!" and she replied "nothing".

Then I said that all this screaming was not "nothing" and that I'd call the cops immediately if she wouldn't let me speak to her boyfriend. She refused and assured me that everything was allright. Then I asked her if he had been hitting her as I made her open the door and she said no. Her boyfriend who peeped out from behind the wall (he was lying in bed) said no as well with this chary voice. And then I pointed at him and said "for your sake pal, I fucking hope not!" And then I told them that if I heard anymore from them then I'd come back. And then I left.

So this happened like 50 minutes ago and they haven't said a word since.

I'm still kind of upset because this is the first time I've been involved in domestic disturbances. I didn't have time to think as I was talking to them but now all kinds of thoughts are overwhelming me. Did I do the right thing by intervening in their quarrel? Is she going to think that I'm a nosy bitch that overreacted?

I'm almost sure that he didn't hit her but I didn't feel like taking that chance you know?

I ..still don't know what to do with myself. Perhaps I should just go to bed.

I think you did the right thing personally... Domestic abuse is very serious and doesn't get dealt with a lot of the time out of fear and embarrassment...

There needs to be more people like you

Three cheers for you,
Very courageous and responsible move there, keep it up :thumbsup:

Good for you... but.... if it happens again.. take Loverboy with you -- or better still call the police first -- if this guy was smacking around his girlfriend - no telling what he'd do to you.

Some people are just vocal when they fight.. Loudly vocal, and they also throw things and break things... Lived with a girl who was like this for a few months... Somenights when she was having a tantrum directed at her boyfriend, I wish someone had intervened, would have saved some china.

Nosy bitch? Nope, concerned neighbor, she's lucky to have you.

I'd agree with Mal - you had your heart in the right place going up there to see what's going on, but if he WAS hitting her, a person he was close to, he'd think nothing of taking a swing at you. Best to let the police know everything you heard, and be available for assistance.

What I wouldn't have given to have someone come "knock on the door" when my ex and I were in a fight...

My mom called the cops on her neighbor because she thought he was abusing their kids. Turns out... he was. So even though the guy hates my mom, the kids are gone with their mom, who left the guy as a result of the cops coming and offering her a safe place.

And if the cops come and nothing is shown that abuse is happening... then maybe they shouldn't be fighting so loud in the first place.

Maybe, you could talk to her when you see her without him... ask her when he's not around.

Just think would you rather her see you and give you a bad look, or you see her look bad (i.e. with a black eye). Personally I'd think you would most likely want the first. I don't think anyone should get hit. It just shows weakness. They can not control themselves. I aplaud what you have done. And hopefully tomorrow she will actually come by and thank you, unless she is too embarassed. But I do think next time you bring Loverboy with you, as there is safety in numbers, besides then it doesn't come down to "he said/she said" thing as there are other witness's.

Just another reason Nancy is turning into the most loved :icare: member of the TFP...Concern for her neighbors!!! :thumbsup:

I will have to agree with Maleficent. While you certainly acted in good faith to help you neighbor, the police should have been called to handle the situation. Not only does it keep you safe (we don't want anything to happen to you), but it also puts the report on file so the police can start seeing a history of domestic abuse incidents with them.

Are you nosey? Absolutely not! You reported what you believed to be a crime occuring, even if you didn't have proof. A lot of people turn their head and allow it to happen thinking that it isn't their problem. Yeah, in some cases both people would rather work it out themselves but that is rare. Usually at least one person is looking for assistance, a way out. Just a call to the police could do just that. Nice work.

you did the right thing.

some times intervention from the "real world" make a difference, and if it was harmless sexual fun, then they just think you are crazy.

Kudos for taking action. Hopefully you'll wake them up. Either they were fighting too loudly and they need to keep it to themselves, OR he was abusing and she'll realize how it sounds to others and quite making excuses for it. Either way you've made yourself someone she could go to for help if something were to escalate. Keep your phone handy.

I had a neighbor who was always bringing home jerks. Ran to my door once at 2am and her then boyfriend followed and put her in a headlock. Did she wake up after that incident? Unfortunately not, but at least I wasn't party to HIS crime and my concience is clear that I offered her what help I could.

Don't hesitate to call the police. In domestic situations, a record of domestic disturbance calls is what is needed sometimes for the woman to get a restraining order or custody of the kids, etc. Without that record she's a sitting duck. You call, she doesn't get in trouble for YOU calling, and the record is established. This gives her protection should she decide to get out. You start building a wall of protection for her. Not saying you didn't do right. A warning was in order. Next time call the police.

thanks everyone of you for your thoughts and opinions about this occurrence I really appreciate it!

There are numerous reasons why I didn't take Loverboy with me. One of them is that I know both of these people. Had it been any other neighbour then I would definitely have taken Loverboy with me or simply call the cops because I wouldn't know what would be in store for me if I confronted them.

Another reason is that her door is only like 5 steps away from my own so if I needed help all I had to do was call out and Loverboy would be there in 2 seconds.

And the last reason is that this guy is only a kid (18-19) and his physique is so slight that I can easily take him out myself if need be.

I have a feeling that I need not call the cops on them in the near future. I think my threat about calling the cops gave them both a big scare so hopefully they'll keep their future arguments on a sensible, mature and more calm level.

If this happens again I think I will take Loverboy with me. Not for protection but rather because it's a good thing to have another witness present as Hard8s said.

kudos for being a good neighbor and concerned community member.

You WERE the nosy bitchthat overreacted. And thank God for it!

There's no telling how many domestic abuse cases are intervened in by the nosy bitch next door. And it might very well look like overreaction to the people being intervened on--after all, this is "just another argument" to them.

You absolutely did the right thing. You'd rather she not like you than that she be beaten or killed, right? Personally, I'd find that a rather easy choice.

I know it has been said many times, but I think you deserve as many praises as possible.. You did the right thing... Unfortunately, she probably will think you were being nosey, but hopefully the embarrassment of having a fight be so loud and sounding so violent will make her rethink some things about the man she is with..

Thanks a lot :)

I really hope that they'll end the relationship soon because they've had some nasty arguments before. Their last one ended when she started throwing his stuff out on the streets. That relationship should have ended right there but you know how it is with some people *sigh*

Perhaps I should have a talk with her about her relationship one of these days after she's cooled down after this last quarrel.

As everyone said before me - great job. You should react, and I'm sure that in the long run it's for the best for all the people involved. Also, never do this again alone :D. The guy can be small, and so on, but there are numoerous ways that one can get fatally injured during domestic violence. It happens A LOT. Be careful!

I wish there were more concerned neighbours in this world...I spit on people who know what's going on and do nothing. I wish people still cared who their neighbours are these days.

You ABSOLUTELY did the right thing. Trust me.

The world would be a much better place if more people did stuff like this. You're the epitome of the good neighbor.

You've forced them to recognize the presence of a concerned neighbor that will call the cops: This is good, because even if there never was physical abuse before, the assumption that somebody is keeping an eye on them will lessen the chances that loud words turn into violence.

Good job.

Sounds like you did the right thing. May not necassarily be what it seems though. Now at my house, my roomate and his girl are into some freaky sex stuff. And we've all often joked how the neighbors must have been close to calling the cops several times. If I didnt know them and just heard the noises as a neighbor, I would definately think there was some domestic violence going on. But they're actually just having fun:)

That's what I'm hoping for :)

I know and like I said after having thought about what happened; I'm pretty sure that he hadn't hit her at all. She was merely screaming from frustration and anger. R has a terrible temper. But I had to make sure that the scraming wasn't brought on by violence.

We used to have people above us that fought loud. When things sounded really bad we'd call the cops. I'm not going up there and getting personally involved.

Good job! People that are violent need to realize that there are natural consequences to their actions. Pick on someone bigger than you=get a good beating. Pick on someone smaller than you=police involvement.(or Nancy coming over)

I have done the same thing in the past and wouldn't hesitate to do it again if the needs arose.

Wooooo! Way to go Nancy! Hopefully just the knowledge that you came over once and will do so again will keep them straight... But if it doesnt, follow through on your promise and call the cops next time.

Seriously, thats awesome that you did that.

thank you sailor :icare:

I shall call the cops the next (if there'll ever be a next time) but I don't think I'm gonna have to do so. They've been dead quiet ever since the insident :hmm:

I think calling the cops is a last resort, you did the right thing, at least it didn't have to come to that.

Nice work! :)