f6twister

My wife recently found out that her boss is having an affair with the husband of her (probably soon to be ex) best friend. Her boss has made this worse by asking my wife and the other person in the office (my wifes friend) to cover this up and keep it from her husband. Now, a few months ago, her husband fell and did enough damage to make him a paraplegic. He needs help getting certain things done right now as he has not had a whole lot of time to adjust to this big change in his life.

My wife does not approve of this situation and resents being asked to cover it up. So far, it's the only job she can find which works with my schedule and allows her to be with our son at night (I'm with him during the day). Her boss (and company owner) basically created this spot for my wife at the request of my wife's friend so there would be no hesitation in cutting the position should my wife question her actions.

Can anyone think of a way out of this mess?

__________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

Averett

She tells the boss she won't cover for him. If he fires her, she hauls his ass to court. Simple as that.


(of course it's also easier said than done...)

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f6twister

Interesting response but I'm not sure what my wife could sue for? I don't believe there would be any laws being broken not to mention that all her boss needs to say is that she eliminated the position.

__________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

maleficent

If she gets fired:
1. She could collect unemployment
2. If the reason why she's fired is because she wouldn't cooperate in covering up an affair, there are a few lawyers who might see that as wrongful termination and she would have a case there.

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If she's morally and ethically opposed to her boss's behavior, to the point where it's interfering with her job, she's got to decide whether the job is worth her conscience.

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Averett

Yeah that's what I was talking about with the court thing

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

maleficent

Free Non-Lawyer Legal Advice:
If she does get fired or terminated or laid off or whatever it's being called these days. Sign nothing until she talks to a lawyer, unless she's willing to settle for unemployment (i've seen some people say that they wouldn't contest the unemployment if they just go away-- quietly)

Document everything she's got... Times, dates.. everything she can

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f6twister

I guess keeping her job may be a moot point. Her boss and her husbands accident are both well known around here. Once people find out about her screwing around with some guy after her husband was paralyzed, she may lose some or all of her clients. She owns a small local business and if she loses enough clients, she may have to close down.

__________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

Redlemon

I think that's the useful opening here. Perhaps, rather than directly telling her boss that she's a cheating slut, she could take the approach of "I'm worried; if people find out about your affair, you could lose all of your clients, and I'd be out of a job."

I don't know if this was a good idea or not, but I thought I'd throw it out there for discussion. She would have to make sure that she isn't phrasing it in such a way that it sounds like blackmail; that would really suck, and potentially come back to hurt her.

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I can't read your signature. Sorry.

Samalie

Personally, I say YOU should open an anonymous email account, send an omnious "I know" email to the boss beotch, and watch the sparks fly.

And yes, if your wife was fired for not covering the affair, that has wrongful termination written ALL over it.

Who knows - she could own the business at the end of it all ;P

Sammy

KirStang

I think RedLemon has the right idea. Afterall, the boss did create the spot for your wife. In taking serious action, she might just end up screwing everyone over?

Perhaps telling her to stop or whatnot would be the best option.

Cynthetiq

there's no such thing as a free lunch... everything has a price.

this one's may be her job and the aggravation created in having to either sue or collect unemployment.


even just sitting quietly has a toll on the soul.

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f6twister

There is the another problem too. If she does sue and her frind is forced to testify against her boss, her job could be at risk also. Since her friend is the primary source of income for her family, that could be very bad for them.

__________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

sexymama

Is there a difference between "blabbing" the truth and simply not saying anything? How much contact does your wife have the parties significant others? I would not lie under any circumstance; but I also wouldn't find it necessary to mention anything without being asked. (In the meantime, I'd be looking for another job as I would have no respect left for my boss and that is not good.)

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It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

f6twister

The bosses husband used to come in a few times during the week. Now that he is confined to a wheel chair, the best he can do is call, which he does. The other guy calls, sends letters and gifts to the office. My wife is the office person who answers the phones, opens the mail and takes deliveries. She read a letter the other day which taked about who would eat who the next night.

So far, she hasn't said anything and it appears that her husband is clueless as to what is really happening. Since his wife has always been very active in the community, being out late at a meeting or having lunch with someone is common for her.

__________________
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day. Calvin

Cynthetiq

I was thinking about an old situation with a very good friend of mine that was cheating on this then girlfriend, soon to be wife, (eventually they got divorced.)

I blew his cover intentionally and our friendship was strained for a period of time but it did heal.

As it was healing I respectfully asked him to make sure I didn't know about any future forays into spaces that he shouldn't go as if his future women become my friends my duty to friendship would mean that I would have to discuss things with them that would make it uncomfortable to everyone.

The more I think about this the more it's not any of your wife's business but she's being subject to it. In essence it's almost like sideways sexual harassment for lack of a better term.

Has she discussed it with her boss and friend to at least let them know that they should be more discreet to the point of not making it obvious to her?

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.