at the end of my tether
 

posted 16 December 2004 02:35 PM
Im working 12+ hour days, almost every day, it looks like 6 days this week... I really dont even get paid that much, I have so much pressure on me at work, Im being pulled in every direction, I honestly feel like Im coming close to as much as I can take... right now, and I mean seriously, despite my sometimes depressive posts, I genuinely feel like I could just cry, there's so much pressure on me, and I know no job is worth this - but Im on my own, I have so much debt, I cant afford to leave, I just dont know what to do.. I just feel like Im coming to pieces.

Word.

I've often thought about running away to Chile, but it would be nice to have some money saved up before I went.

And I may not last that long anyway.

Hey Friend,

I don't make light of your situation when I say I know how you feel. Myself I've been at the end of my rope for a while now. Financially I'm drowning. Today my last day working at my 1rst of two jobs. After Christmas I have to find a night job. There is no guarantee that with these two jobs that I will be able to make ends meet. My wife stays at home with our 13 month old. I have a mortgage and a 11 year old car that is dying as I type. I've been relying on charity and handouts to pay bills.
And yet each day comes and goes. No matter what, as long as you tackle things one day at a time you'll be okay. "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself"
Going through these difficult times really sucks. It makes me feel like saying 'character building my ass!' I have enough character. What I'd love is some stability. But stressing about things and worrying has not improved my situation at all ever. So there's no real point.

In closing, the words of Bob Marley
"I say don't worry about a thing, cause every little thing is gonna be alright."

one day at a time.

one hour at a time.

one minute at a time.

one second at a time.

the hard part about these kinds of situation is that you need to maintain things, while preparing to change things. That alone is also something that will add stress to your life since it's yet one more thing you need to do.

Cynthetiq has put it well...

I have been in similar situations... the key to getting through it is taking it day by day and working towards a change.

I'm sorry to hear it, man.
Did you ever get around to exercising, stirring around those chemicals in your head a bit?
Best of Luck.

"EVERYTHING is work." -Andy Warhol

Hang in there. Many of us have been through troubling times and came through it ok. I know when I was in my late teens early twenties and on my own I went through a couple of really lean years working for minimum wages at jobs I hated. Keep looking for something to work at that doesn't bring you down so much. You will find it eventually.

Why would you taunt him like this? Maybe he won't find it eventually, not everybody does. Some of us have our wives leave us and we get cancer. That's hardly an improvement, is it?

Master_Shake I think that Strange could do without your look on the bright side. When someone is seriously hurt and asking for help, they post here, and we try to help them as much as we can.

Strange Famous- I have felt like that many many times with my job. Why don't you try job hunting WHILE you are still employed at your current job? It couldn't hurt to look!

master shake, my dad left my mum, then she found somebody else, and they get along great.

lance armstrong had cancer, then won 4 tour de frances.

everybody has a choice.

I know it sounds clichéd, and insensitive, but I always remember that there is someone, somewhere worse off than me. Then I always realize that I have it better than many.

My bad, I didn't realize a person has a choice in paying half their salary to an ex-wife or in getting cancer. Thank you for clearing that up.

I'm not trying to hurt the guy, but sending him happy thoughts is not going to clear up his problems.

"Stick with it?" What the hell for? To support people who don't care about you? To work at a meaningless job for low wages?

And enough with the Lance Armstrong inspriational bullshit. The guy had testicular cancer which has a 70% survival rate and he had great health insurance to pay for all the advanced shit.

you have a choice how you react to these events.

I'm sorry for how much of a cliche it sounds, but you can either beat life or have life beat you.

I was in the same place as an above poster. 2 1/2 jobs, wife @ home with a baby, mortgage, dead car, the works. Hell, I thought I was the poster at first :)

And I was fucking dipressed about it too. As much as I loved my wife & daughter, I never fucking saw them - I was at work, or they were asleep. It was a long, dreary, i-dont-get-to-see-the-sun life.

And you know what - I worked my fucking ass off at it. Instead of just working the graveyard at the quick-e-mart, I spent the $0.48 I had every month left over on books for computer networking. What I couldn't buy, I begged, borrowed, or stole (well, loaned from the library, but whatever) and when I sat there bored off my ass on the graveyard, wondering if the next guy to come in was gonna shoot me, I studied. And studied. And worked my fucking ass off. And felt I lernt enough about computers to try to get a job - so I went to a company who shall remain nameless who had advertised for an IT geek & told them, look, I have no formal training, no experience, but I know my shit, and here's proof, and I want you to hire me, completely without salary, for one month. If you like my work, you give me the job with pay. You don't, you walk away from me.

Well, apparently my no-bullshit attitude got my foot in the door....so I quit my day gig, and took another graveyard job for the nights I wasn't doing graveyards already, and worked my fucking ass off.

And after 4 days, I was hired on full-time at 3x the wage of my former 2 1/2 jobs combined.

Yes, life sucks when you're not seeing anything happen for you. Yes, its really fucking hard to get out of that rut.

But seriously, a good attitude and hard work will get you there. Seriously

Unless you get cancer and die before you get there, right?

do you think you will feel better if the people around you feel worse? sorry to say this, but i know people worse off than you, i really do. i dont think anybody here is going to allow you to bathe in self pity.

sweetie, go ahead and cry.....there is nothing wrong with that, and sometimes giving into that and doing it actually works. I cant tell you the times that I've fought crying only to get so overwhelmed that I couldnt stop it and afterwards I felt so much better.

Guys and girls, I think Strange Famous was looking for a litte support and encouragement. Maybe we should stop thinking about ourselves and try to lend our friend a little verbal encouragement. All this squabbling is really very childish.

Master_Shake, you continue to miss the point (and have deftly managed to turn this thread into a "deal with Master_Shake's bitterness" game, instead of trying to actually help Strange Famous). Shit happens to everybody, in varying degrees of intensity, and the point is not that bad things happen but how you deal with them. Many people have managed to turn unbelievable adversity into positive experiences, and THAT is the point. Now, if you can't say something constructive, please just hit the "back" button.

Now....

Strange Famous, things might seem stressful now but I trust that you will be able to make it through the hard time. You do have options - look for another job, tell your boss that you're stressed and need to cut back a bit, figure out what it is about the situation that's causing you stress and alter either it or your perception of it. We believe in you and are here if you need us.

SF - im sorry dude, I owe you an apology. I KNOW how you feel, I am pretty much feeling the same at work at the moment - all I can say is, it helps to talk. I mean really talk. Try to sit down with a buddy, family, and just let it all out. Just let it go, everything thats stressing you out, I promise you will run out of steam after a few minutes and then start to see things more constructively.

Fair enough, sorry I behaved so bitterly.

thanks everyone. I was at work 14 1/2 hours today - still have only got half of what i need to do done, I have to go in Sunday, then I have to work 7 till 10 Monday. I guess this will pass, at any rate I am onoy going to do this for so long.. I guess Im just tired, and youre tender and vulnerable then.

Tired is understandable... What you are feeling is understandable... Hopefully those hours aren't long term and there's an end in sight for you.

When you aren't working, try to find something that gives you some happiness, even if it's sitting on the front steps blowing bubbles, or playing with playdough, or coloring. Do something that's just fun...

SF: Okay, like everyone else (with the exception of master_shake) I can honestly say been-there done-that too ... insert inspirational line here ...

Here is what I did to get through it:
1. get home from second job
2. shower cuz you know you stink
3. kiss the wife (even if you have to wake her)
4. grab your pillow and go sleep on the floor next to your kid's bed/crib

Don't ask me exactly how or why but your back won't hurt, your heart isn't as heavy, and you sure as shit know why you put up with the world's BS.

(And if you get lucky IT will come along, whatever IT is for you... Look at me Uncle Sam decided I'd be a better Electrical Engineer than telephone operator so the Air Force is now paying me to go to school.)

Not only do I think it's not cliched, I also find this thought a great help whenever I feel down. It's been tough for the last few months, but whenever I feel that I'm not to happy about how things are going, I think that I might have ended up dead (or, worse, starving) in a ditch in Congo, had I not been as lucky as I am. I have a place to live, and I have some money, and I'm, well, alive. And when I put these thoughts together, things don't seem as bleak anymore.

I think the key when you're drowning like that is to pick one thing that is contributing to the problem and, while just fending off everything else, use what you have to eradicate that one problem. Once that is done, move on to the next...it is a systematic and time-consuming, yet effective, method.

If you have lots of debt...instead of making minimum payments, consolidate and then pour as much as you can into it to help it go away faster. Look around at things you have that you don't need or don't use...sell them. Every penny you make that is in excess of what it takes to survive should be put into that "destroy debt" fund. Don't go to movies...go to the library and get books for free, don't take a cab when you can walk, etc...

There is always a way, brother...hang in there and chip away. It will see like an eternity in front of you until one day you wake up and realize that it's all behind you...

I'm rooting for you to pull through. I just want you to know that.

All of us have been in situations where all you want is to be somewhere else...another life. Hang in there, with time it will pass. You should try to get another job while still in the current one I guess...not easy but if you don't do anything to change the situation, well, it's just gonna stay the same. Hope things get better for you soon.