Trouble with sleeping
 

Hey there,
I need your help. My girlfriend is having troubles with sleeping and I pretty much don't know what to do anymore. It helps her when we are sleeping in the same bed, but right now I am in a different country for quite a while. So we are having a long-distance relationship which still works out pretty well. She trusts me and there is nothing she is concerned about so that's not the reason. She is 22 and tried all the things from fresh air during the day, Yoga, beer before going to bed, reading, getting up and doing something else when she cannot sleep etc etc...
She gets tired during the day and the evening, gets to bed but then cannot fall asleep. She took some natural medicine and also some stronger, chemical ones. The natural have little to no effect, the prescription, stronger ones help a bit but thats not the right way. Plus, you shouldn't take them too long.
We know that there is that vicious circle of getting all set up and thinking "I have to go to sleep!" and then not being able to sleep at all. But she does not try to force it too much. It is not that she does not need the sleep, the next day is pretty much lost because she will be tired all day long.
As you see, we are pretty desperate and I would appreciate any suggestions, methods for relaxing, experiences or whatever. Thanks!

alcohol before bed is generally not good.

I have regular insomnia -- but some of the things to try.

Bed is for sleeping/sex only. Don't watch tv in bed, read, work -- anything. The brain has to associate the bed with sleeping and sex only.

White noise machines -- or a machine that plays the ocean or some othter restful sound.

Send her a tshirt or a shirt that might smell like you -- could be she's just missing you.

Ihave a stuffed doggie named Gus that I sleep with, or my raggedy ann doll that's close by and it does help -- maybe she just needs a security blankey

No caffeine after 2:00pm as well - and no heavy meals or heavy exercise two - three hours before bedtime.

Set a specific bed time - and follow it -- as well as a wake up time -

Tried sleeping pills?
Also she could trying exercising a *few* hours before bed...This would spend some energy and make her feel more tired later...but dont exercize right before bed because it will get your blood flowing faster which will make you stay up longer.

Thanks so far, especially the association thing is important. She tried sleeping pills, but the natural ones seem not to work that well and she is not comfortable taking the strong ones.

I'm always busy, and exhaust myself daily. I rarely have trouble falling asleep. Is she keeping her days full? Perhaps she could take up a hobby or exercise program with a friend. I like the shirt idea too. If she can smell something that reminds her of you, even if it is only a shirt or cologne, it could help. I find that yoga before bed helps to relax me. Decaf tea or a hot shower or bath could help too. Its supposed to have something to do with the body preparing for sleep as it cools down to normal temperature.

If i really can't fall asleep, I get up and write a letter to my SO. He rarely ever sees these letters, but it helps me clear my head. Sometimes you just have to sleep when you're tired. If that means staying up all night and falling asleep at 5pm, then is worth a shot. Good luck.

Can sleeping pills cause problems? I'm having issues as well and have thought about trying some of the stronger pills to help myself get to sleep.

You can get addicted to them and they might stop working after a while. Pretty much will, since your body gets used to them and you have to take stronger ones. You definitely have to talk to a doctor or two about this.

Need sleep? One word: Nyquil...That stuff will put me to sleep for so long...if I take too much I'll sleep thru the alarm

- Undercover_Man

When you say, "it helps when we're sleeping in the same bed," I have to ask if it's something simple as not being warm enough by herself. Sounds stupid, but it can be a factor. Does she have an electric blanket which she uses?

I know that if I'm not warm enough, I won't sleep, even if I don't feel obviously uncomfortable. But if I leave the heater on or put on a sweatshirt, I do a lot better. We don't use an electric blanket because while I'm too cold at night, my wife is too hot.

We finally developed a system that works: even when she's sleeping, if I tug on her arm, she'll roll over and spoon me and put one arm across my chest. Warm me right up. But on the rare occasions when she spends a night away, I have to leave the heater on or I won't sleep much. And we live in a mild climate.

No. Nyquil has sudoephedrine in it, which will make it worse after the initial "drugging" in my experience. Calcium/magnesium (3 capsules) knocks me out like Valium. Benadryl (antihistamine) is what I use if I'm really having trouble falling asleep. Pop two of those, and you're out within a half an hour.

I have some trouble sleeping. It got alot better, though, once I started a regular excersise program. I also cut out soft drinks (not even diet).

In the past I had tried melatonin, which is a supplement, not a narcotic. It's worked well for a friend of mine. When I tried it, it helped a bit, but not as much as just living healthier.

You're lucky. It takes 6 to do anything for me. I did some research and it's still not a dangerously high dose, but it gets expensive.

Yeah, I know six won't hurt ya. My doctor told me that too. It also is non habit forming. The most I've ever taken was 4. I have really bad anxiety, and so sleeping has been a problem in the past. I take Valium if it's really bad.

For insomnia only, as far as prescriptions go, Ambien or Restoril work great.

So, if the insomnia gets bad, the only thing that work are prescriptions sleeping pills?

If you take anything you don't get good, deep sleep. Drinking is the worst. All the advice on a regular bed time and especially getting up at the same time will eventually work.

For me, reading a novel - not magazine, newspaper or anything else - just good old fiction, for about 15 minutes with one light on help slow my mind down. Also, the white noise is a must.... like a fan of some sort.

Many people also suggest "preparing" for sleep. Like a little cool down period at the end of the day. Turn down the main lights (just a lamp or dimmer), turning the TV off, reading something relaxing. This helps to ease anxiety and lets your mind and body relax.

A nice hot bath, with some nice backround music,lighting, a pet, a cup of tea, crack a book, and in time you will fall asleep.Works for me try it.