la petite moi

So, how long did you wait before planning for your wedding? We're hoping to get married in December of 2005, and I'm trying to start planning, but he refuses to. In order to do this, I have will have to get TONS of classes out of the way, tell my parents (who will be pissed), plan all the moving and housing (for myself), and get a CA ID since I'm not going to have car insurance (and so I don't think me having just a Driver's License without insurance is legal).

So how long before your wedding did you start planning?

bitrunner

I think my wife started planning the day after I asked!

maleficent

Depends on the type of wedding you are having. Since your parents are going to be pissed, you say, that probably means they won't help pay. Gnerally you need time to rent the place where you want the reception held, and to make sure the church, or whereever the ceremony will be is available.

Go to Vegas, you can plan it in a weekend.

My brother got married at the top of some mountain in Washington State, he and his wife got married New Years Eve in 2000 - -they decided Christmas Day to do it - so they planned less than a week.

__________________

Ustwo

Save yourself a ton of money.

Alope.

__________________
Agents of the enemies who hold office in our own government, who attempt to eliminate our "freedoms" and our "right to know" are posting among us, I fear.....on this very forum. - host

Obama - Know a Man by the friends he keeps.

bitrunner

One nice thing about the planning is lots of free stuff. Make sure you go cake tasting lots of places, and I found many of the places we looked to have the reception at invited us for a free lunch or dinner.

We had six months to plan, and I think we over planned if we had three months to do it in I’m sure we would have done fine and not worried about so much!!

But getting to try lots of cakes, that was the best part.

la petite moi

So I guess there isn't really a LOT of time needed for planning like they say in some books.

What goes into planning? What did you all do for your own weddings? Please....give me some advice. I like thinking about it.

ShaniFaye

Since Dave and I are having a scottish/renn themed wedding we've been planning, and yes I mean WE...he's had more ideas so far than me hehehe....since christmas last year...we plan to be married sometime before the end of 2005

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

bitrunner

One book we had listed a time line for a year, we had 6 months so we compressed it.

The big time factor is booking everything you need, places start to fill up. Depending on what kind and size of a wedding you want, you'll need a church, reception hall/caterers, florist, photographer, and cake person. And the hard part is you need all of them the same day! Since most weddings are on Saturdays each person/place might only have one or two slots a week. So where to start? Here’s the good thing pick one of he above, say the photographer odds are they know a florist, hall, cake person, etc.. and can give you a recommendation.

But also get a book or too, don’t worry about their time line just use it as a check list!

combatmedicjen

I agree with Ustwo: ELOPE.

Xepherys proposed March 18, '04, and we got married May 28, '04.

The planning included his flight arrangements (I was in training and he had to meet me in San Antonio), hotel arrangements (my dad put us up at the Marriot Courtyard as a wedding present), confirming our appointment at the courthouse that day (no waiting period for military people... hooah!), and making sure my drill sergeants would release me and my two battles/witnesses on time to get to my own wedding. Thankfully, all went as planned and it was amazing! *wipes tear* The 'rents got to hear it over our cell phones, heh.

And I got out of a fun morning of shaving berets

It saved an extraordinary amount of money and the headache of coordinating such a huge event.

flamingpeach

Not even a month.

It was traditional too, with food, flowers, minister etc...


As for what I did to plan, i called my minister, i rented canopys, tables, and chairs, sent our invites, ordered my flowers and things like that. I just got all my ducks in a row for my idea of the big day, and it worked out great.

__________________
I've eaten my veggies all my life so bring it on, I am educated and strong for the revolution.

la petite moi

Thanks everyone-

However, I do not want to be married ina church! What are some good alternatives to this?

flamingpeach

I got married outdoors

If you are having a minister/pastor preform the ceremony, most of them don't mind coming where ever you want them.

__________________
I've eaten my veggies all my life so bring it on, I am educated and strong for the revolution.

la petite moi

No, what I meant was: I don't want to have a religious ceremony at all. Who can marry us, then?

bitrunner

Depends on where you live. Most of the time a Judge can do it. Check with your county courthouse (or their website) for what they require.

Cynthetiq

married during sunset on te Gulf of Mexico off Longboat Key, FL. on a chartered boat. 14 guests. No minister, notary public presided.

planned in 3 weeks

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Ripsaw

One year and change. Just finished it actually.

We started early, and had most things ready to go.
It really started to pick up as we got closer though.

__________________
"We are supposed to be masters of space, but we cant even line up our shoes?"

One life, one chance, one opportunity.

sherpahigh

Pretty much the same for me.

I think the total time we (read her) spent planning was a year and a half. She was in Med school at the time though so there wasn't a lot of emphasis put on the planning. Wedding was in June and it turned out great.

__________________
"It'd be better for me if you don't understand"

Bossnass

We started planning pretty much as soon as I proposed. Then decided that because of all her friends and family and how she has been indoctrined by the wedding mafia that we couldn't afford it. So we are/were saving up. I think we could have easily pulled it off in 3 months, had we the funds.

pugo

My wife started planning the minute I proposed. She mannaged to pull it all together in six months without a wedding planner and having the reception at her aunts house. In my usual fashion I left my chores to the last minute and had a hellish week before the big day. All turned well had a great wedding.

quadro2000

We took about 15 months to plan (still planning...two weeks and counting), but we certainly didn't need all that time. We just took it 'cause we could. I think a wedding with all the bells and whistles can be planned in 6-8 months. Most of the time, the reason you need a larger window is because in some places, reception halls, bands and photographers book up to a year in advance.

We're having a non-denominational ceremony. Our college professor is going to officiate. We ordinained him through the Universal Life Church. You'll have to check the local laws where you're getting married to see if a ULC ordination is acceptable. Ours is acceptable in New York State, but if we were getting married in the city proper, we wouldn't be able to have him do it.

__________________
You have to laugh at yourself...because you'd cry your eyes out if you didn't. - Emily Saliers

Clark

We planned for just over a yaer. Then 9/11 hapened all of both are faimlys are from just out side NY we were in NOLA. So we had to move the wedding our Moms planned the new wedding in just under a week.

Rodney

In California, anyone can. They need to get a temporary license as a "marriage officiant" down at the county court house. It's good for a limited time -- usually, on a specified day. So anyone that you know and respect could marry you. You can rent a venue, or you can just pick a handy stretch of beach. Permits may be officially required for a beach, but if you've got a small party and you aren't having major entertainment or obvious booze, who's going to care? I can tell you a lot about having a wedding on the beach in the Santa Cruz area, if you're interested.

Outside of that, you can get a judge to marry you at the county courthouse. That's what we did. You have to set a date in advance; how far in advance depends on the county and on how many judges do weddings, and how often.

As for the wife and I, we were married by a judge. We'd already lived together for years, owned a house together, and considered ourselves married. But what with getting older and legal and medical concerns, we thought tying the knot would be best. Also eased the mind of my mother, who was sure we were going to hell for living in sin. Mom's old-fashioned.

Anyway, we showed up in the judge's chamber with a witness (you need to bring at least one), and he married us. The judge -- traffic commissioner, actually -- was a nice guy. Crayon drawings made by his children covered the walls of his office. He obviously enjoyed doing the ceremony after a day of hearing moving-violation cases, and was genuinely interested in us. Good vibes all around. After the wedding, we and our witness had a casual tail-gater reception in the courthouse parking lot with nonalcoholic champagne, and then she and I went off for a nice dinner. I wouldn't change a thing.

You might not want to do it this way, but a casual wedding, done right, can be as satisfying as a traditional church or wedding chapel extravanganza with a cast of hundreds. More, even. If we'd had five or ten witnesses, maybe we'd have driven to the beach and had our tail-gater there. But there's not other way I would have expanded it.

ShaniFaye

My first hubby and I got married at the courthouse by the probate judge. Here..you just show up with your wedding "party" or single witness (we had 9 people in attendance) and I wore my wedding dress..and you pick the kind of ceremony you wanted -religious sounding vs non religious sounding and we did it in a court room.

Oh, and you didnt have to have an appt to do it.

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

Rodney

It's going to be different everywhere, even from county to county within the same state. Hence, best to call the courthouse before making plans and find out what the deal is in your county.

clavus

I've never understood why this has to be such a long, painful excercise. The best wedding I ever attended was as follows - The proposal was in in April. The wedding planning started shortly thereafter. Blocks of hotel rooms were booked. Invitations were created (by me!) and mailed. Rehersal dinner space was reserved. Aline tickets were purchased. Tuxes rented, Wedding dresses tried, selected and modified...Bam bam bam.

The wedding was in August. It was a catered affair at a Napa valley winery for about 150-175 people. There was a reagge band and tons of booze. Everybody had a blast.

It doesn't take long to plan a great wedding.

__________________
Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.

Averett

I agree, clavus


(knowing fully well if/when I ever get engaged I'll be planning in my head about the second after I say yes and I've got a ring around my finger )

__________________
Absence is to love what wind is to fire. It extinguishes the small, it enkindles the great.

ShaniFaye

the more money you have to spend...the easier it is to plan lol

Its when you have to find the best price on every little part that it takes more time.

I could sit here now and tell you that "if only" Mine and Daves wedding would take place at some castle in the scottish highlands with all attendants in full renn attire and the wedding dinner would be a big feast with lots of turkey legs and never emptying whine chalises etc

but alas...I will have to figure out how substitute and make due since I havent won the lottery so it will take longer to plan

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

StephenSa

From the time I asked to the date of the wedding was just over a year. I think the actual planning, getting reservations, arranging the paperwork and legal bits took about six months and most of that was just deciding where and when and what we wanted exactly. Once that was done it was just a matter of getting the money together. We had a fairly simple ceremony but it was in Scotland so we had to deal with airlines and getting all the right info to the Scottish registrar. Actually the wife pretty much handled everthing and I just did as I was told! Congratulations and Good luck!

nospam

My bride to be started planned as the day after we got engaged. Which meant a year of planning. She and her mom did most of the planning. I got to take a break from it in the form of going to basic training

Rodney

A wedding's a celebration and symbol of the joining of two people. But when I hear about people getting excited about planning their wedding, and spending a year or more doing it and tens of thousands of dollars, I wonder if some people aren't placing more importance on the symbol (the wedding) than the reality (marriage). Why is a huge or meticulously-planned wedding so important to some people, especially women?

My wife marries people. I won't go into the details, but she is an ordained minister in a real but small denomination (no Universal Life Church routine), though she doesn't currently have a congregation. But she will marry people who approach her and who, after some discussion, appear to be getting married for valid reasons and after due consideration. So I go to several weddings a year, as self-appointed "ecclesiastical support" (gofer).

She marries the well-to-do and the just-getting-by, and the weddings that I remember most are the ones that were done with more love than money. I remember one wedding not long ago: she worked in a deli, he delivered bottled water. They didn't have much. They'd been living together, and had put off getting married until her Mom and Dad could afford to come down (Mom and Dad only lived 400 miles away, so you can see there wasn't a lot of cash.)

So when the parents told them that they were coming, they threw something together in about three weeks. They rented a hall in a county park for a few hundred, got a good cake, and did potluck for the rest. I saw the people who came for the ceremony: not much money, but a lot of pride. The hall was small, but they'd set it up as a church. The bride wore her best dress and the groom his only suit. After the ceremony there was much cheering and everbody went outside for a few minutes.

Then the wedding party and guests came back in, and like some fine-tuned team, tore down the church setup and reconfigured the hall for a reception in about ten minutes. Everybody worked. It was amazing. And a good and non-rowdy time was had by all, although I didn't see much of it since the minister should skip the party unless he/she is an actual family friend or the regular family minister.

My wife doesn't charge a fee. She just says, give what you feel it's worth, or nothing at all. Frankly, those folks had little enough that no money would have been fine. But on the way out, three different people tried to give my wife a few bucks, so as to spare some expense for the happy couple. We took it from the mother-in-law.

Too many weddings spend a lot of money on show; but the best weddings just show the love. Plan for love, not for show, and you'll have a great wedding.

pinkie

Almost a year and a half before.

maleficent

Just an FYI - in most states
You can't have a car without insurance. Your driver's license is for driving, insurance is on the car - or rather the driver's of the car. If you don't have a car, you don't need insurance, but you still need a license, in the event you rent a car or get a car later on.

__________________

la petite moi

Ah, thank you, very good info to know!

bitrunner

Depends on the State, I know in Ohio you have to have insurance to have license. When you get or renew your license they ask if you have insurance you you sign something saying that you do. They don't check, so I guess you could lie..

Kyp's Girl

I was asked and my head was in a cloud and I started picturing things/ideas whatever. But then there were a few problems from my parents so we decided to go to reno (closer to home then vegas). Ours was planned in one day, and we were late for it. But it was great.

__________________
I'm like a superhero with no power or motivation.

portereight

We thought about getting married for 7 or 8 years, the actual planning was a couple of hours.
We we're on vacation in Vermont when it was pointed out to us that in Vermont, there is no wait for a license and no requirement for witnesses. Trip to the Burlington city hall, call to a Justice of the peace recommended by a friend, and 2 hours later wedded bliss on the waterfront.
Looking back on it and having been involved in the stress and pointless expense of the "real" weddings of my sister and cousins, I wouldn't change a thing.

the_tyipist

We started planning right away, but we were only engaged for a month. We had everything done in two weeks.

MSD

Have me do it.

Where do you live, again?

theFez

If you have a close friend who would like to marry you they can get ordained on the internet (http://www.universalministries.com/doctrine.cfm is the first paid link from google) and can usually perform the ceremony. Check with your local courthouse.

My wife is a caterer, she often plans 5+ weddings on a single weekend in the summer so we knew ahead of time where we were doing it, who was catering, what we were doing for flowers. A friend is a pastry chef and did the cake, another friend is a pro photographer and took care of pictures. From her experience she knew what she wanted for music. We started planning a year ahead, but it was mostly just letting our friends know when the date was.

The main reason to start planning in advance is because some places book up. My wife's company is already booked for two weekends next summer.

__________________
# chmod 111 /bin/Laden

joe69

18 months before the wedding is a good time to start reading some of htem books