Getting Married and Living Together- Ah Expenses! - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

gar1976 · 09-15-2004, 12:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi

gar1976, nwlinkvxd is majoring in Computer Science. In a couple days, he will most likely get a raise to 18-20$ an hour, and he can work from home (remotely). Also, he gets a percentage of the sales the company he works for makes of his programme he will finish soon. I am currently majoring in Business Administration. In two years, I will most likely have had a slight raise in pay- although that doesn't say much. When we live together, we will only both be going to school at the same time for one more year, and then he will be working full-time. And like his sister has said to us: "My parents won't let you guys starve or live on the street if things get that bad."

The roommates is an awesome idea, but I'm not sure we could do that with the apartment we're looking at getting. We're planning on getting a one-room because frankly, we don't really need a lot of extra room since the SJSU campus is right across the street and it has a lovely 'built-in park', I guess you could call it.

Thanks for all your advice, seriously. Some of it does get me down. I ended up telling him we just can't do it and that I'll just go crazy living at home instead of living in poverty. But I guess I have to be optimistic, right? It's still in two years, I guess. Two years is just so damn long...

Good for you guys. BA/CS are some of the best majors you can get.

If you can, maybe have your better half get some business classes as well. CS/BA for a major/minor is a nice combo.

maleficent · 09-15-2004, 12:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi

I ended up telling him we just can't do it and that I'll just go crazy living at home instead of living in poverty. But I guess I have to be optimistic, right? It's still in two years, I guess. Two years is just so damn long...

Marriage requires some sacrafices... Don't let it get you down, use the time as a learning experience. Marriage is for the rest of your life-- two years is nothing.... Gives you lots of time to save...

la petite moi · 09-15-2004, 07:09 PM

Excellent positive help, guys. I really DO want to do this, but I feel really discouraged. I am willing to try anything.

(Speaking of which, I have a shift from 5h15 pm - 10h45 pm tomorrow. Then the next day, I have to go from 4h30 am - 1pm! AAAAHHHHH! But hey, in four days time, I get 27 hours!)

PS: Maleficent, I am definitely sacreficing for this marriage/moving in thing. My parents will not support me in doing this, at all. Plus, my mother wants me to go to a UC, so she will most likely be very disappointed. But it's good- I would rather be living with nwlinkvxd who will support me in things I do, than with my parents that down me on most things.

smooth · 09-18-2004, 03:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by maleficent

A camaro is a sports car - it automatically gets tagged at a higher rate (at least in some states

Go to sites like Progressive. com - -you can get your own rates.. then start calling insurance companies...

How long a person has been driving means nothing... he's under 25 that makes the rates go up, if he's got good grades, he might qualify for a good student discount...

I haven't read through the entire thread, but in California, how long someone's been driving means everything. That's what rates are based on now.

I pay a little less than $300 per 6 months for 2 cars (in Orange County). You'll either get discounts for being over 25 or being married, but not both. That is, after a while you will max out on your discounts--multiple car, age, marital status, and most important in California, how long you've been driving. You need to provide proof that you've been insured for at least 5 consecutive years to obtain the best rate (repeat: do NOT let your insurance lapse--I just got fucked, btw).

Oh yeah, and I wanted to add: read your insurance carefully and choose accordingly. The legal limit is 15K for liability. In San Jose, you smack a Beamer on the bumper and you've just gotten started. If your new hubby-to-be has rights to things like software or other assets, the remainder is going to come out of your ass in court. It's one thing when you're poor, maybe the rich person's insurance will eat it. But if you even look like you have something going after, expect that someone will try.

Moral of the story, pay the extra $20 per month and get a 30K liability along with uninsured motorist. But I don't know exactly where you're at--look around and see what kind of cars you'll be smacking within a 5 mile radius of your home. If they are Beamers, Mercedes, and Lexus, like the college students drive around here, then you _know_ 15K won't get you very far.

Cynthetiq · 09-18-2004, 06:10 AM

kudos to you two for at least looking realistically at this.

I'm not going to talk about the parts that people have already talked about, there's plenty of that came before me. There's still something missing from your budget, and that's a method of saving. Saving is a habit.

If it's not saving for retirement it's saving for rainy days, saving for car maintenance or replacement. You are in technology, in 2 years will you need a new PC? How about 4 years? What about the car? The car won't last forever and what happens if a child someone makes into the picture? You'll have additional expenses there too. New technology comes around you need to go to seminars or additional training that isn't covered by your employer.

As far as the insurance goes... maybe you need to look at the insurance and costs BEFORE picking the vehicle and let that determine the vehicle choices... because there are inexpensive policies out there for safe inexpensive run about vehicles. It may not be the coolest looking ride out there, but it's at least going to fit in your budget. A motorcycle while practical in some aspects isn't all that practical in others, there's no need to go from one extreme to the other.

la petite moi · 09-18-2004, 03:03 PM

Very true about saving, Cyn; however, about the car- he has had his car for about 4 years now, so it's not like he's buying a new one. He's going to pick up the payments and car insurance from his parents after we're married.

Cynthetiq · 09-18-2004, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by la petite moi

Very true about saving, Cyn; however, about the car- he has had his car for about 4 years now, so it's not like he's buying a new one. He's going to pick up the payments and car insurance from his parents after we're married.

right.. so 4 year old car by the time you are married is 6 year old car... which will require major maintenance. Tires need to be replaced, brake pads changed, time belt adjusted etc. Your needs may change too... children? 2 doors suck for child seats... and you'll need to sell that one and buy another car, or circumstances totally change and you have to buy a second car.

Speaking about those children... that means new place, rent forever or save some $ for a downpayment on a house?

la petite moi · 09-19-2004, 05:01 PM

HELL NO, we're not going to have kids by then! Haha.

He just replaced the belt this year, and the tires have been replaced as well.
And the brakes, he just told me.

DJ Happy · 09-25-2004, 02:15 AM

I would leave saving until one of you graduates and gets a full-time job. I was going to suggest that "the bloke whose name consists of random letters" works more than 4 hours a day, but I didn't realise that he was still at college.

Your rent seems very high to me. I normally work on the calculation that your rent should not be more than a third of your income, although I guess if you're not saving or putting money towards a pension yet it could be slightly higher than that. I currently make an awful lot more than the two of you combined, yet my rent is only about twice what yours is and I don't live in a cheap part of the world. As it stands, your rent takes care of about two thirds of your monthly income, about twice what it should be in my opinion.

If your expensive internet connection is necessary for your job, shouldn't your employer pay for it? If you explain to them that you can't afford broadband at the moment, I'm sure they'll fork out the dosh for you to keep it.

And have you considered shaving your head? I do and I save a huge amount on haircuts every month. Of course, my wife more than makes up for that with her weekly forays to the beauty parlour, but there you go.

I'd probably also ditch the car altogether, unless you absolutely could not afford to go without it. Take the bus when you go back home and use public transport otherwise, although I don't know what the public transport situation is like in San Jose.

Getting married while you are both still studying is going to be difficult, no matter what the circumstances. When my parents did it, one of them worked full time while the other one studied, with the plan being that the roles would then be reversed upon the graduation of the student. A good plan in theory, but they did not count on getting divorced after my father graduated.

woOt? · 05-02-2005, 04:33 PM

I moved out of my house when I was 23. Even then it was hard. I didn't finish school and at the time I was working as a server making, maybe, $1,000 per month. I moved into a room at a friends house. Somehow, I got by. However, when I moved, along with the scraps on my back came almost $15,000 in credit card debt and student loans. Anyways, I digress...

My point is, Milk the cow as long as you possibly can. Save up tons, I mean tons of cash before you move. You never remember to equate the little expenses into moving costs but building a "home" from the ground up costs money. If you're both in school it's going to be harder. Again, stay home as long as you can. But that's just me.

Amnesia620 · 05-09-2005, 04:42 AM

Wow, everyone, there's been great points made here, emotions are running high and defensiveness is obvious. It's natural, though. The questions below are merely suggestions and thought-provoking, however, they are realistic. Researching costs of everything is a good idea and having goals and a plan is a great idea, however, experience cannot be replaced with estimations. Do not think I'm trying to dissuade anyone from moving in together, marrying, or getting out on their own...I'm only looking at this as realistically as I possibly can.
Remember that change is inevitable - whether it be your own selves or your living arrangements, school, the economy, likes/dislikes, wants/needs, etc. - and learn to grow together, be friends, be lovers, and be partners. You both must work together and make sure that you communicate well. I'm sure, since you have been together for a significant amount of time, that you've got this covered, but it never hurts to improve an important requirement for a successful relationship. If I seem to be preaching, I'm not - only emphasizing so that your relationship will be successful - successful ones are becoming quite rare.

Prepare the best ways you know how, discuss with eachother what options you would consider using if, for example, one of you was forced to stop working due to a sudden illness or impairment (A sprained ankle can take weeks to heal, crutches are a pain in the a -- uh, armpits, travel is harder, etc). These things do happen, as well as flat tires, car accidents, etc. What would you cut within the household expenses in order to make sure the necessary ones are paid (rent, mortgage, electricity, gas, food)?
Is the cost of your ideal place of residence within your sole income? If not, how much money would be deducted from the other person's income? Will you keep your money individually or pool it together? If individually, discuss an exchange to balance the income/cost of living ratio between both of you. Will your home have a washer/dryer or will you use a laundry mat? Using a laundry mat costs money - how often do you do laundry in a month? Do you want credit cards or already have them? How will you handle your cost of living if one of you overspends and cannot pay a bill? How much can you save each month for vacations?
You've got two years, build on it, it's plenty of time.

In 1 1/2 years, 6 months before the time you both will be moving in together or getting married, see what your income and bills are then. Till then, save up as much as you can, learn to live well within your means, communicate and enjoy being in love.

Lead543 · 05-09-2005, 06:34 AM

I have no advice, other then the fact that I've been saving for a Vera Wang wedding dress since I was 15, and you'd be suprised at the things in life you don't "need". Like a car. Start with absolute necessities, things you need to survive and then build from there, whatever's last to go on your list should be the first thing to go when money's tight. Other then that save as much as you can. Gooood luck!

xepherys · 06-02-2005, 03:11 PM

Insurance shouldn't be that much... my wife and I have a 2005 Toyota Corolla and a 2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse, both with $500 deductibles and we pay roughly $2200/year.

No matter what you put on a spreadsheet, I assure you, you'll have unexpected costs that don't fit into your "unexpected costs". If you don't know what I mean, you will.

I make roughly $30/hour and my wife makes about $13/hour, and we still save less than we'd like. Other things to think about is retirement... no, it's not too early. Before you're married, you should both put $1000 into a Roth IRA (or something similar). I'm 28 and just starting my retirement fund... I'm screwed... those extra 8-10 years could've been thousands upon thousands (upon thousands) of dollars in the compounded long run.

09-15-2004, 07:09 PM	#43 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Excellent positive help, guys. I really DO want to do this, but I feel really discouraged. I am willing to try anything. (Speaking of which, I have a shift from 5h15 pm - 10h45 pm tomorrow. Then the next day, I have to go from 4h30 am - 1pm! AAAAHHHHH! But hey, in four days time, I get 27 hours!) PS: Maleficent, I am definitely sacreficing for this marriage/moving in thing. My parents will not support me in doing this, at all. Plus, my mother wants me to go to a UC, so she will most likely be very disappointed. But it's good- I would rather be living with nwlinkvxd who will support me in things I do, than with my parents that down me on most things. Last edited by la petite moi; 09-15-2004 at 07:15 PM..

09-18-2004, 06:10 AM	#45 (permalink)
Cynthetiq Tilted Cat Head Administrator Location: Manhattan, NY	kudos to you two for at least looking realistically at this. I'm not going to talk about the parts that people have already talked about, there's plenty of that came before me. There's still something missing from your budget, and that's a method of saving. Saving is a habit. If it's not saving for retirement it's saving for rainy days, saving for car maintenance or replacement. You are in technology, in 2 years will you need a new PC? How about 4 years? What about the car? The car won't last forever and what happens if a child someone makes into the picture? You'll have additional expenses there too. New technology comes around you need to go to seminars or additional training that isn't covered by your employer. As far as the insurance goes... maybe you need to look at the insurance and costs BEFORE picking the vehicle and let that determine the vehicle choices... because there are inexpensive policies out there for safe inexpensive run about vehicles. It may not be the coolest looking ride out there, but it's at least going to fit in your budget. A motorcycle while practical in some aspects isn't all that practical in others, there's no need to go from one extreme to the other. __________________ I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not. What's the best nation in the world? DO-NATION!

09-19-2004, 05:01 PM	#48 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	HELL NO, we're not going to have kids by then! Haha. He just replaced the belt this year, and the tires have been replaced as well. And the brakes, he just told me. Last edited by la petite moi; 09-19-2004 at 05:13 PM..

05-09-2005, 04:42 AM	#51 (permalink)
Amnesia620 Forget me not... Location: See that dot on the map? I don't live there.	Wow, everyone, there's been great points made here, emotions are running high and defensiveness is obvious. It's natural, though. The questions below are merely suggestions and thought-provoking, however, they are realistic. Researching costs of everything is a good idea and having goals and a plan is a great idea, however, experience cannot be replaced with estimations. Do not think I'm trying to dissuade anyone from moving in together, marrying, or getting out on their own...I'm only looking at this as realistically as I possibly can. Remember that change is inevitable - whether it be your own selves or your living arrangements, school, the economy, likes/dislikes, wants/needs, etc. - and learn to grow together, be friends, be lovers, and be partners. You both must work together and make sure that you communicate well. I'm sure, since you have been together for a significant amount of time, that you've got this covered, but it never hurts to improve an important requirement for a successful relationship. If I seem to be preaching, I'm not - only emphasizing so that your relationship will be successful - successful ones are becoming quite rare. Prepare the best ways you know how, discuss with eachother what options you would consider using if, for example, one of you was forced to stop working due to a sudden illness or impairment (A sprained ankle can take weeks to heal, crutches are a pain in the a -- uh, armpits, travel is harder, etc). These things do happen, as well as flat tires, car accidents, etc. What would you cut within the household expenses in order to make sure the necessary ones are paid (rent, mortgage, electricity, gas, food)? Is the cost of your ideal place of residence within your sole income? If not, how much money would be deducted from the other person's income? Will you keep your money individually or pool it together? If individually, discuss an exchange to balance the income/cost of living ratio between both of you. Will your home have a washer/dryer or will you use a laundry mat? Using a laundry mat costs money - how often do you do laundry in a month? Do you want credit cards or already have them? How will you handle your cost of living if one of you overspends and cannot pay a bill? How much can you save each month for vacations? You've got two years, build on it, it's plenty of time. In 1 1/2 years, 6 months before the time you both will be moving in together or getting married, see what your income and bills are then. Till then, save up as much as you can, learn to live well within your means, communicate and enjoy being in love. __________________ For example, I find that a lot of college girls are barbie doll carbon copies with few differences...Sadly, they're dumb, ditzy, immature, snotty, fake, or they are the gravitational center to orbiting drama. - Amnesia620

09-18-2004, 03:03 PM	#46 (permalink)
la petite moi Filling the Void. Location: California	Very true about saving, Cyn; however, about the car- he has had his car for about 4 years now, so it's not like he's buying a new one. He's going to pick up the payments and car insurance from his parents after we're married.

09-25-2004, 02:15 AM	#49 (permalink)
DJ Happy Psycho	I would leave saving until one of you graduates and gets a full-time job. I was going to suggest that "the bloke whose name consists of random letters" works more than 4 hours a day, but I didn't realise that he was still at college. Your rent seems very high to me. I normally work on the calculation that your rent should not be more than a third of your income, although I guess if you're not saving or putting money towards a pension yet it could be slightly higher than that. I currently make an awful lot more than the two of you combined, yet my rent is only about twice what yours is and I don't live in a cheap part of the world. As it stands, your rent takes care of about two thirds of your monthly income, about twice what it should be in my opinion. If your expensive internet connection is necessary for your job, shouldn't your employer pay for it? If you explain to them that you can't afford broadband at the moment, I'm sure they'll fork out the dosh for you to keep it. And have you considered shaving your head? I do and I save a huge amount on haircuts every month. Of course, my wife more than makes up for that with her weekly forays to the beauty parlour, but there you go. I'd probably also ditch the car altogether, unless you absolutely could not afford to go without it. Take the bus when you go back home and use public transport otherwise, although I don't know what the public transport situation is like in San Jose. Getting married while you are both still studying is going to be difficult, no matter what the circumstances. When my parents did it, one of them worked full time while the other one studied, with the plan being that the roles would then be reversed upon the graduation of the student. A good plan in theory, but they did not count on getting divorced after my father graduated.

05-02-2005, 04:33 PM	#50 (permalink)
woOt? Crazy Location: Miami, FL	I moved out of my house when I was 23. Even then it was hard. I didn't finish school and at the time I was working as a server making, maybe, $1,000 per month. I moved into a room at a friends house. Somehow, I got by. However, when I moved, along with the scraps on my back came almost $15,000 in credit card debt and student loans. Anyways, I digress... My point is, Milk the cow as long as you possibly can. Save up tons, I mean tons of cash before you move. You never remember to equate the little expenses into moving costs but building a "home" from the ground up costs money. If you're both in school it's going to be harder. Again, stay home as long as you can. But that's just me.

05-09-2005, 06:34 AM	#52 (permalink)
Lead543 Registered User Location: Calgary	I have no advice, other then the fact that I've been saving for a Vera Wang wedding dress since I was 15, and you'd be suprised at the things in life you don't "need". Like a car. Start with absolute necessities, things you need to survive and then build from there, whatever's last to go on your list should be the first thing to go when money's tight. Other then that save as much as you can. Gooood luck!

06-02-2005, 03:11 PM	#53 (permalink)
xepherys <3 TFP Location: 17TLH2445607250	Insurance shouldn't be that much... my wife and I have a 2005 Toyota Corolla and a 2006 Mitsubishi Eclipse, both with $500 deductibles and we pay roughly $2200/year. No matter what you put on a spreadsheet, I assure you, you'll have unexpected costs that don't fit into your "unexpected costs". If you don't know what I mean, you will. I make roughly $30/hour and my wife makes about $13/hour, and we still save less than we'd like. Other things to think about is retirement... no, it's not too early. Before you're married, you should both put $1000 into a Roth IRA (or something similar). I'm 28 and just starting my retirement fund... I'm screwed... those extra 8-10 years could've been thousands upon thousands (upon thousands) of dollars in the compounded long run.