benclass

aa

Rodney

Show him the essays. Just leave them on the kitchen table. When he asks what they are, tell him that's what you were working on last night. If he wants to argue, just shrug. When I've had difficult bosses, I've worked with them by showing them every piece of work I've done. Sometimes it makes them back off a little; or if it doesn't, they never actually do anything dire despite their carrying on, because they know I'm doing the job.

But frankly, he may be impossible to please. So outside of giving him some kind of physical proof of what you're doing -- and good grades, too -- you don't really owe him any groveling. Sounds like he just wants an excuse to blow off. Just spend as little time around him as possible, and move out when you can.

roboshark

Talk to him when he's not angry at you. Tell him the truth. Tell him he's wrong. Fucking reason with the man. *Make* him listen. Any reasonable man should be able to listen to what his son has to say. Tell him what bothers you, and why.

I strongly disagree with Rodney's advice to spend as little time around your dad as possible. The fact that he might be difficult to please doesn't mean you should just give up on him. Work it out, for chrissake's! He's your dad, not some boss you don't give a fuck about. Alienate him now, and you'll regret it for the rest of your life.

Fathers can be difficult. But ultimately, they care about their children (there are exceptions, obviously). Family is all you got, cherish it!

__________________
I want no escape.

Rlyss

I've often had the same sort of issues, particularly in my younger years. I admit I did spend a lot of time playing computer games and surfing the net, I like my space and my own little area (my room) when I get home, just to do what I like. When I was younger I spent a lot of time playing games and not much time doing homework. With the door closed and my music on nobody outside would know what I was doing.

Sounds like you're in exactly the same position.

In the end I started showing my parents the work I was doing. Not rubbing it in their face, but occasionally asking them a question, or asking for some help with my work. Especially if it was a question I knew they wouldn't know the answer to, that was always a good one. Telling them, and showing them, that I've been working for the past three hours on this question, and then having them unable to help me, quickly kept them quiet about me spending too much time in my room.

Anyway, I'm rambling. What I suggest:

- Show your dad the work you've been doing, whether to ask him for help, advice, critique, or just to say 'Hey, this is what I've been doing'

- Leave your bedroom door open when you're studying. That way he'll know for sure when you're working. I hate having a door open when I'm studying but it works wonders. Everytime he walks by he'll see you working.

- Sounds to me like he just got home from a shitty day at work or something, got no greeting from you and as the hours went by he felt a bit lonely. Not spending time with his dad because he's working hard is good, not spending time with his dad because he's playing video games is bad, and since he didn't know which one it was, he assumed video games and got a bit 'grr'.

So yeah, I don't think you should spend less time with him at all. Include him in your work, get him to help you (parents are proud to have smart kids who don't need help, and they're also proud to be able to help their kids), show him your essays and what grades you've been getting.

lurkette

Your dad is just concerned about your future, and probably going through a lot of anxiety and sadness as you're preparing to leave the house for school. Sometimes people don't know how to express that and it comes out in ways that aren't productive, like angry outbursts.

It might be worthwhile to sit down and talk to him about your plans, get his advice on your college essays, express your concerns that he has a perception of you that doesn't match what's really going on. Connect with him now, show him that you're being responsible, and assure him that you'll still be his son after you're out of the house.

__________________
"If ten million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing."

- Anatole France

benclass

Thanks for all the advice everyone... Now that I think about it, it probably was just a bad day at work or something of the like. I respect my Dad and I think he knows it, but he is just a little old fashioned for me. He always wants to talk, when I have nothing to talk about... Anyway hopefully this was just a one night event. I mean, He wanted me to watch TV rather than sit infront of my computer...

Average_Joe

This was my first guess as well. Sometimes after a bad day, Dad's can take out their frustrations on their kids. It's not right...it just happens.

It's also a generation gap issue. I know my Father was never encouraged to be indoors. That's just where kids and teens belonged...outside. It seems that my kids are always in the house, even on perfect weather days, and it puzzles me. Even after I encourage them to go outside, they refuse.

maleficent

You may not appreciate it now, but you will later on.. It's nice that your dad wants to stay connected to you and wants to spend time with you. He wants to spend as much time with you as possible, because pretty soon you'll be out on your own... and he won't spend as much time with you...

I'm a sap - -the song running thru my head is Cat's in the Cradle by Harry Chapin...

__________________

powerclown

Im picturing a bubbling, popping cauldron of lava inside a volcano.

stonegrody

That's funny, I was thinking about "Father & Son" by Cat Stevens