Post partum depression - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

PDOUBLEOP · 08-27-2004, 05:53 AM

My baby girl is just over 4-weeks old. Since she was born, my wife has been more than a little weird. She cries for no reason. Yesterday, I told her that I was going to go to the local high school football game tonight and she got all pissed off. She actually got to the point that out of the blue she said "If you don't want to be here...move out...I don't care". Keep in mind, other than the stress of having a newborn, our relationship has been just fine recently. Is this possibly an example of post partum depression? How long does this craziness last? Lately, its seemed like everything has been my fault.

ShaniFaye · 08-27-2004, 06:11 AM

I was lucky...mine lasted exactly one day...but what a LONG day it was I cried the entire day....got in the WORST fight I'd ever had with my husband...kicked him out of the house, then preceeded to have have him come back because I locked myself out of the house with the baby inside...I dont ever want to go thru anything like that again.

The length varies from woman to woman...and yes everything will be your fault until its over....just hang tight, take as much slack as you can of caring for the new baby, give her a day to herself to do what she wants....She might also want to talk to her doctor....

maleficent · 08-27-2004, 06:18 AM

Definitely have her talk to her doctor.

This is a huge adjustment for both of you, but (and the fellas don't want to hear this) but it's a huge hormonal change for her as well, it affects some women more than others and it is very real...

It's still a little early, but she might also want to get involved in new moms groups, where she can spend time with other moms and she realizes that she's not alone - and not the only one going thru what she's going thru. (from what a friend of mine described, she honestly beleived she was the worst human being in the world because she couldn't get her baby to stop crying.)

PDOUBLEOP · 08-27-2004, 06:28 AM

I thought she would be able to handle it better since it's her second child. I can understand some of it though. She has been off work on leave but I'm still working everyday so she has to take care of most of the work. When I get home I usually try to take care of the baby as much as I can until it's time to go to bed.

maleficent · 08-27-2004, 06:32 AM

This is not what you want to hear - but my girlfriend, who was pretty career driven until the children, first two were no problem - -she was fine, the third one, which was the easiest pregnancy, and delivery knocked her emotions on her ass for about 6 months...

THGL · 08-27-2004, 06:33 AM

Yeah, it's just her body adjusting to the new hormone levels. Our 2nd baby is 2 wks old and my wife's emotions are all over the place. It's almost like flipping on a light switch, one second she's fine and the next... look out!

This is something you'll just have to deal with. Remember what's she's going through and try not to let her mood swings effect your mood (if she starts screaming at you, don't scream back).

It gets better, trust me.

Redlemon · 08-27-2004, 06:36 AM

Did she have a C-section? My wife did, and was on some pretty strong pain medication that caused her to become very paranoid. We had to cycle her back to less strong stuff to keep her more level headed. It's probably hormones, as everyone else is saying, but I wanted to put this possibility out there as well.

PDOUBLEOP · 08-27-2004, 06:47 AM

nope...no section...au natural

08-28-2004, 05:12 PM

Hey bro- I was the same way, it's post-partum. Please just understand that her hormones are so out of whack right now that she doesn't even understand why she feels the way she does. She is completely exhausted, she just went through such an incredible physical experience and she feels drained and even sometimes helpless. Are you helping her out as much as possible? Encourage her, support her, and do anything you can to lessen the load for her- let her rest and enjoy some time to herself as much as possible.

My experience: I suffured from that bad. I had my son when I was 20, I was tiny, young, and unprepared for the big change. He demanded feedings every 1/2 hour, and I got no rest. I was an emotional wreck- horrible! I wanted to nurse until he was 6 months, but I had to stop at 3.
Let's put it this way, pregnancy and labor combined were pleasant compared to the post partum. If it weren't for that, I'd probably have another.
The funny thing is after post-partum and my hormones cooled, I can't cry! It's strange......

08-27-2004, 05:53 AM	#1 (permalink)
PDOUBLEOP Insane	Post partum depression My baby girl is just over 4-weeks old. Since she was born, my wife has been more than a little weird. She cries for no reason. Yesterday, I told her that I was going to go to the local high school football game tonight and she got all pissed off. She actually got to the point that out of the blue she said "If you don't want to be here...move out...I don't care". Keep in mind, other than the stress of having a newborn, our relationship has been just fine recently. Is this possibly an example of post partum depression? How long does this craziness last? Lately, its seemed like everything has been my fault. __________________ ef you-you effing ef

08-27-2004, 06:11 AM	#2 (permalink)
ShaniFaye Submit to me, you know you want to Location: Lilburn, Ga	I was lucky...mine lasted exactly one day...but what a LONG day it was I cried the entire day....got in the WORST fight I'd ever had with my husband...kicked him out of the house, then preceeded to have have him come back because I locked myself out of the house with the baby inside...I dont ever want to go thru anything like that again. The length varies from woman to woman...and yes everything will be your fault until its over....just hang tight, take as much slack as you can of caring for the new baby, give her a day to herself to do what she wants....She might also want to talk to her doctor.... __________________ *I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!*

08-27-2004, 06:18 AM	#3 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	Definitely have her talk to her doctor. This is a huge adjustment for both of you, but (and the fellas don't want to hear this) but it's a huge hormonal change for her as well, it affects some women more than others and it is very real... It's still a little early, but she might also want to get involved in new moms groups, where she can spend time with other moms and she realizes that she's not alone - and not the only one going thru what she's going thru. (from what a friend of mine described, she honestly beleived she was the worst human being in the world because she couldn't get her baby to stop crying.) __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-27-2004, 06:28 AM	#4 (permalink)
PDOUBLEOP Insane	I thought she would be able to handle it better since it's her second child. I can understand some of it though. She has been off work on leave but I'm still working everyday so she has to take care of most of the work. When I get home I usually try to take care of the baby as much as I can until it's time to go to bed. __________________ ef you-you effing ef

08-27-2004, 06:32 AM	#5 (permalink)
maleficent Junkie Moderator Emeritus Location: Chicago	This is not what you want to hear - but my girlfriend, who was pretty career driven until the children, first two were no problem - -she was fine, the third one, which was the easiest pregnancy, and delivery knocked her emotions on her ass for about 6 months... __________________ Free your heart from hatred. Free your mind from worries. Live simply. Give more. Expect less.

08-27-2004, 06:33 AM	#6 (permalink)
THGL Psycho Location: Louisville, KY	Yeah, it's just her body adjusting to the new hormone levels. Our 2nd baby is 2 wks old and my wife's emotions are all over the place. It's almost like flipping on a light switch, one second she's fine and the next... look out! This is something you'll just have to deal with. Remember what's she's going through and try not to let her mood swings effect your mood (if she starts screaming at you, don't scream back). It gets better, trust me.

08-27-2004, 06:36 AM	#7 (permalink)
Redlemon Devoted Donor Location: New England	Did she have a C-section? My wife did, and was on some pretty strong pain medication that caused her to become very paranoid. We had to cycle her back to less strong stuff to keep her more level headed. It's probably hormones, as everyone else is saying, but I wanted to put this possibility out there as well.

08-27-2004, 06:47 AM	#8 (permalink)
PDOUBLEOP Insane	nope...no section...au natural __________________ ef you-you effing ef

08-28-2004, 05:12 PM	#9 (permalink)
:::OshnSoul::: Guest	Hey bro- I was the same way, it's post-partum. Please just understand that her hormones are so out of whack right now that she doesn't even understand why she feels the way she does. She is completely exhausted, she just went through such an incredible physical experience and she feels drained and even sometimes helpless. Are you helping her out as much as possible? Encourage her, support her, and do anything you can to lessen the load for her- let her rest and enjoy some time to herself as much as possible. My experience: I suffured from that bad. I had my son when I was 20, I was tiny, young, and unprepared for the big change. He demanded feedings every 1/2 hour, and I got no rest. I was an emotional wreck- horrible! I wanted to nurse until he was 6 months, but I had to stop at 3. Let's put it this way, pregnancy and labor combined were pleasant compared to the post partum. If it weren't for that, I'd probably have another. The funny thing is after post-partum and my hormones cooled, I can't cry! It's strange......