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Old 08-10-2004, 08:37 PM   #1 (permalink)
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What should I do?

A month ago there was some bad stuff happening to one of my best friends of 4 years. In short, I got pissed at him and put stuff on his car. I was caught and given a ticket for vandelism, but there was no damage done and no charges pressed. Since some really bad stuff had happened to his car prior to this, he thinks it was me even though I didn't do it. I haven't spoken to him since, but somebody lied and told the kid that I did all of the stuff to his car. I'm going off to college in a few days, so I will never see him again. I tried emailing him my side of the story and apologizing, but he didn't respond - it's entirely possible he hasn't checked his email since he never used to.

What would you do in my position? Would you try calling and explaining to him that you didn't do all of that stuff and you're sorry? Or would you just let it go and never apologize? I'm not sure what I should do...
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Old 08-10-2004, 08:59 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Location: Southern California
I guess you need to get it off your chest. He may or may not believe you anyway ( I am taking it the friendship is over) So if it makes you feel better call and tell him it wasn't you, then go off to college and let it go.
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Old 08-10-2004, 09:31 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Sounds like you kicked a man when he was down, which *is* as bad as knocking him down at the start. You say you're going to college in a few days, so you're probably not going to see him for a while. So just call him and tell him A) You didn't do the things he thinks you did, B) You did do the things you know you've done, and C) It doesn't affect the next few years of your life whether he believes you or not, so it's up to him if he wants to take your word.
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Old 08-10-2004, 09:56 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Deep South
I would suggest calling him, I've always been a big fan of never leaving an issue with a friend unresolved, life is too short and good friends are far and few in between =\
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Old 08-11-2004, 08:01 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by thebeat
I would suggest calling him, I've always been a big fan of never leaving an issue with a friend unresolved, life is too short and good friends are far and few in between =\
sure but when you go off and aren't man enough to face the person to begin with... then what kind of friend were you to begin with?

that said, live and learn. move on.
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Old 08-11-2004, 11:51 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Location: In my head...
From my personal experience, I have lost a friend over a stupid/simple argument and no matter what I did, she didn't want to be my friend no matter how much responsibility I took for what happened (even though I took more than my share), apologized countless times, she never called or emailed back.

If it makes you feel better, call/email your friend and explain as sincerely as possible your side, tell him you want his friendship, tell the truth, and don't take blame for someone else's actions. That is all you can do. It is then up to him to decide whether or not the friendship is worth it or not to him.
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Old 08-11-2004, 01:58 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Location: Deep South
Quote:
Originally posted by Cynthetiq
sure but when you go off and aren't man enough to face the person to begin with... then what kind of friend were you to begin with?

that said, live and learn. move on.
I guess for me i've always tried to be the bigger person, i would just prefer to settle any issue because im not a big fan of controversy. Some people just loose sight of whats important, perhaps this person never considered you to be that important but i would at least attempt to reverse the wrong.
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Old 08-11-2004, 02:09 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by thebeat
I guess for me i've always tried to be the bigger person, i would just prefer to settle any issue because im not a big fan of controversy. Some people just loose sight of whats important, perhaps this person never considered you to be that important but i would at least attempt to reverse the wrong.
sure, but I also would think based on this comment that you would not have vandalized the car in the first place..
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Old 08-11-2004, 03:15 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Deep South
Quote:
Originally posted by Cynthetiq
sure, but I also would think based on this comment that you would not have vandalized the car in the first place..
You are correcT!! but we all do stupid things sometimes, we can just agree to disagree
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Old 08-12-2004, 04:04 PM   #10 (permalink)
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I would suggest trying to apologize, maybe write an actual letter, and also address the reason why you were mad in the first place.

Also quit being passive-agressive, or, failing at that, be a little better at it!
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Old 08-12-2004, 05:16 PM   #11 (permalink)
Crazy
 
He's been brain washed by one of his other friends who thinks (knows) I'm mentally ill. Because of this, he won't respond to my emails, my text messages, or anything. Plus he's going around telling other people I've done a lot more than I did... I told him how immature that is but he isn't the type of person who'd understand that. I personally don't care because I've gotten sick of his antics over the years, but I would like him to know the truth so he'd stop bad mouthing about me.
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Old 08-13-2004, 10:47 PM   #12 (permalink)
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You said you don't care, so move on. You also need to find a better way to express your displeasure with someone.
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