zenmaster10665

OK, so a friend of mine is wanting to ask his girl to marry him soon...He asked me for some advice on the situation:

Apparently, the usual guide to buying a ring for your soon-to-be fiancee is approximately 1 month's income. The only problem with this is: my buddy makes a lot of money in one month and he doesn't want to spend that much on a single ring...but he doesnt want to come off as a cheapo either, as he really loves his girl.

What is the new ratio to income:ring cost in this case?? Any ideas?

Guys, any experience in this area?

Ladeeeees, any thoughts on how you would feel?

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kulrblind

Heya, zenmaster10665, you should take a skim through this thread:
http://www.tfproject.org/tfp/showthr...ngagement+ring

(or do a full search for engagement rings on TFP)... there are a lot of people weighing in on how much is "proper", or "acceptable" to spend on a ring.

Personally, I'm of the mind that the two people involved should talk about what is really important about the ring...design, style, gem type and size, and of course, cost. If he's surprising her, well, then I guess all the communication is out the window.

In terms of how much should be spent, I've heard up to three months-worth. I'd be willing to bet that these guidelines are not set by anyone but the diamond and jewellery industry, not by concerned fiances/fiancees all over the world

Blonddie

I would hate to take away the surprise here, but he really should find out what she likes before he buys the ring. It is something she will have to look at for the rest of her life and if she thinks its ugly.... I have had friends that this happened to! He bought her a ring he thought she'd like and she couldn't stand it! (they are not together anymore so it doesn't matter...but still)
Jewelry is all about what you want. Hubby and I do NOT have the same taste at all...he is into big and what I think is gaudy...I like simpler, and antique looking pieces. If nothing else they should just go to a mall and hit a store 'just to look' and from that he can get an idea of what she likes.

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maleficent

Usual guide is generally 2 months salary - since it's supposed to be forever... but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Have him give her a gumball machine ring - or from a cracker jack box, and at a convenient time, then go ring shopping..

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Cynthetiq

I gave a cubic zirconia ring as the place holder... then we went shopping for the one that she wanted. Since my wife doesn't wear jewelry it was a challenge. I wanted to do the 2 months salary thing.. and it would have been a 3 carat diamond... but she's happiest with her 1 carat which she picked out.

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onodrim

You can still talk about the ring, and still have it be a surprise. Just start the conversation with, "Let's say one day I want to get you an engagement ring, what do you like? etc..." That way, he'll know what to look for and he can still surprise her with it when he decides the time is right.

As far as how much to spend goes, well I think it's silly to have an "appropriate amount" myself. Find something you both would like and who cares what the cost is. The important thing is the meaning behind the ring, not the dollars put into it. But since you asked for help ... The generally accepted minimum is one month salary and the maximum is three.

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NotMinus

No. Don't let him spend that much. I worked as a jewellers assistant for a custom goldsmith. We did alot of high end work and I could not belive the amount of money people are dropping on compressed carbon. I think a half carot stone is a great size for a wedding ring but you could even consider another stones (sapphires are one of the few other stones hardenough to take daily abuse)

Some suggestion I would makes :
-Diamonds : Are priced on a scale by size, i.e. a 99 point stone with be significantly cheaper then a full carat (although indistinguishable to the human eye) They are priced by wholesalers accordingly and the stores prices should reflect that.

-Buy a diamond with a brillant cut and a good colour (somewhere around H ) most stones will have inclusions (small dark marks inside the diamond) if you look carefully and have a good jeweller he can find cheaper stones that have minor inclusions that will be hidden when the stone is set.

-Barter, depending what size stone your buddy is buying the jeweller will tend to make around %66 profit directly off the diamond sale for just a phone call. They will likely all use the same distributer, let them know if he won't crack his compition will.

-If you are in Canada, stay away from Polar bear diamond's. Although they are spectacular in quality they are not priced competitivly compared to a similar cut / clarity / size stone from antwerp.

Thats the easy part, unless your buddy also has a set idea for the rings style, try and choose a design they jeweller has a mold for. You will likely save several hundred if they don't need to custom make a wax for your ring. I can answer any more questions you have.

MSD

The 1/2/3 months' salary myth was created by DeBeers and spread through viral marketing to invoke fear in guys who don't want to look cheap and offend the woman who they want to marry.

SecretMethod70

as was the very concept of an engagement ring, but not too many women will go for that Hooray for Mass Media Mind Control

sorry - I know it doesn't help but I had to chime in my own 2c on this one.

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RainbowBright

I agree that he should go looking with her. He might be surprised to find out her tastes are for much smaller (cheaper) rings than he expected. If he makes so much money why is he baulking at paying for something that she will wear forever?

Clark

I know that my wife because of her work did not want a big stone. She would rather be able to ware the ring then have the bigest one I could get.

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quadro2000

Word.

If he does his research, he'll know what's most important to get in a ring...and NotMinus gave some great tips. I highly recommend this site. Their info was fantastic and I liked them enough that I eventually bought my ring from them.

If he finds a ring that he really likes, and it's out of his price range, maybe he can wait a bit and save up some more money. If they're in love and there's no baby on the way, hopefully there's no rush.

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zenmaster10665

thanks for all the help guys...I will pass all these tips on to him!

__________________
"Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.
He is full of murderous resentment of people who are ignorant without having come by their ignorance the hard way."
-Kurt Vonnegut

junglistic

wow whatever happened to money isnt everything?

I just recently proposed to my girlfriend and gave her a 35 dollar silver ring. and she loves it.

pinkie

My husband and I picked mine together.

bermuDa

give her a piece of string, then go shopping together. it shouldn't matter how much you spend on a ring.

if you want a ring that's actually worth something, don't get platinum, and don't get a diamond. Gold or white gold is worth more than platinum, and diamonds' value is grossly inflated. try a stone that's actually rare, like tanzanite or emerald.

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pinkie

My hubby braided telephone wire and fitted it to my finger. I still have it, and treasure it. Of course, I love my ring-ring too.