Prince

In your relationship, current or past, how did you handle the "running late while out of the house" thing? You're at work, or at school, and you find out you won't be home at the usual time, but may be an hour or two or more late. Do you call home, or do you just get back when you're good and ready?

I don't personally have a problem with my wife's plans changing "on the fly" and not notifying me, as I don't feel she's accountable to me in that regard; if something happens and she has to stay later than usual, okay. I wouldn't mind knowing, but it's not a huge deal. I am just wondering how this trivial thing is handled in other relationships.

Being a newlywed and living in a strange country makes me feel really worried when she's more than an hour and a half late, like right now.

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sapiens

I always tell my wife if I will be late. She always tells me if she will be late. She is accountable to me and I am accountable to her. I like it that way. She likes it that way. It's being considerate.

Lebell

I don't see it as accountability, I see it as simple courtesy to the person you profess to love.

I used to be terrible at it, now I'm much better.

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sillygirl

I agree with Lebell on this one. It's just a consideration thing.

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ratbastid

lurkette and I are in frequent contact throughout most days, either by phone or AIM and email. We usually know where the other is, most of the time.

Rodney

It's only right to let the other party know, so they can change plans to suit themselves rather than stay in a holding pattern for your sake. Generally things work like this in our relationship, though my wife sometimes goes out shopping for "an hour" that turns into four or five with no notice.

Tholo

Definately always checking back and forth, its just good karma.

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sexymama

I think it is important to call so the other person doesn't worry or have to "hang out" waiting and wondering.

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CinnamonGirl

When I lived at home, I'd always call my mom if I had to work late, or was out with friends and running late...I don't have a job now, though, so no need to call my husband and tell him I'll be late...

On his side, he never calls. It used to bug me, since I'd try to make dinner and plan it for when he'd be home, but after a few nights of keeping stuff warm in the microwave and being pretty damn hungry myself, that stopped.

What really gets me is when he goes to LAN parties (every weekend.) Sometimes I want to make "plans" for when he gets home...he'll agree to be home by a certain time, then ends up getting home two to four hours later. I understand it's easy to lose track of time when playing computer games, but yeesh

But, right, back to the thread I'm almost always ten or fifteen minutes late for stuff--going out with friends or whatever. But if I'm going to be more than 20 or 30 minutes late, I call. Like everyone else has said, it's the considerate thing to do.

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Cynthetiq

same here. skogafoss and i communicate several times during the day if we can, but definitely before we leave the office.

reasons:

to make sure the other person knows what the evening plans are, where to meet, etc.
to make sure that no one needs anything from stores around the respective workplaces or the grocery near the apartment.
to let the other person know that they are leaving the relative safety of the office to be in the streets and subways of Manhattan.

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Bill O'Rights

I'm very independent, by nature. As such, I used to be very bad about not calling if I was running late. I've made some adjustments to my thinking and now call if I'm going to be more than an hour late. That hour is my buffer zone, for stopping for gas, milk, bread, eggs or any other of life's silly little errand chores. It's just common courtesy.

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skysooner

If I didn't call her to tell her I might be late, she is going to worry that I'm dead on the side of the road somewhere, so I do call. However many times, I'll leave things open-ended. I know I'll probably be done around 3 pm, but I'll tell her that I might do some shopping afterwards. I usually give a time I'll be home quite a bit after when I expect to be so that I don't have to check in when plans take longer than I think they will. Of course, if she has plans to go out when I get home, I'm particularly careful about getting home exactly when I saw I will.

StormBerlin

It's a big deal to me when Chewy doesn't call me to tell me when he's gonna be late. But I've become pretty accustomed to his schedule, so when it's one of those days where I know he's gonna be late, I don't worry.

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God of Thunder

Damn does that sound familiar.

Anyways, I agree with most of you here. It is just a common courtesy to let the other know.

That's the good thing about Nextel.

**beep beep** Hey, Im running a little late.
**beep beep** OK, I'm starving so baby girl and I are going to eat without ya.
**beep beep** Just save me some.
**beep beep** OK

It's just that simple.

Man, I love technology

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gilada

I always check in to let the wife know I'll be late, whenever possible, just so that she won't worry that I've been in an accident or sumpin...

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floonine

I always get yelled at when I don't just call and say "I'll be late." Ok, not yelled at, but its easier to get in trouble when I don't call in comparison.

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txlovely

It is all about being considerate and respectful. No reason to make someone you love or care about worry.

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micah67

My g/f and I talk via IM all day. Usually late afternoon we'll start with the "ETA?" message. I usually have a handle on when I'll be home but as I'm in IT things can happen last-minute to ruin plans. To play it safe I always send a quick "leaving now" message. Mostly so she can get her boyfriends out of the house.

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*Nikki*

Bingo!!

This is 100% how I feel about the matter. It's SO SIMPLE to call or whatever to tell them what is up.

neddy65

I always call to say that I am gonna be late and then almost always show up later than I said I was gonna be but the wife is used to my casual time keeping!

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Yalaynia

I would always check in. Mostly so no one is worried about me. If anyone knew that I was always home at 6 then they would expect me to be walking in that time give or take a half hour due to traffic.
Now with cell phones theres no excuse not to check in if you are going to be late, its just common courtesy when you love someone and they love you to let them know whats going on.
As far as plans and what not yeah I would be pretty pissed off that I went to all the hard work of planing something and my other half didnt come home and never even thought to call and say he would be late, and I am sure he would feel the same about me.

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StephenSa

Just recently dealt with this. Moved in with the fiance' and was unaccostomed to being accountable to someone as to my whereabouts. I spent the first few months just coming home when I got around to it. Couldn't understand why the pretty girl seemed irked with me. Ah, but the young paduwan has learned! Now if I will be late I call.

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troit

You did say "wife" right? To me that implies that communication is an important characteristic of your relationship and courtesy has got to be right up there as well. Do you have to call everytime your running 10 minutes late? I would say no, unless you have set plans. Should you call if your going to be running an hour late? I would everytime -- even if its because I want to stop off and have a drink with friends. Its just common courtesy and the dividends of trust that are to be developed will be reaped for years to come. Been down both roads and the road of communication is 1000% better.

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ladyadmin

I show courtesy and always call if I'm going to be late. I do it for work, friends, family, and relationships. I'll only call if it's a big time frame where I'll be late. If it's only a couple minutes to 10 I won't worry over it much.

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Dano069

I try to make a quick call, just to let her know I'm running late. Sometimes, you just can't.

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balderdash111

I concur with everyone else here: definitely call, for the sake of courtesy, for her peace of mind, etc.

I know that when I am home alone and my wife is later than expected, I get annoyed that she hasn't called to tell me what's going on.

raeanna74

Dei37 and I communicate through the day or at least on his lunchbreak. Usually he comes right home with a detour for milk or other things on occaision. If he's more than an hour late I sometimes worry. Most of the time if he's got any plans to get the oil changed on the car or go wash the car and he'll be taking a while to get home he will let me know on his lunch break. Otherwise he's not "required" to notify me. It doesn't matter to me WHAT keeps him later but it's nice to know what's happening. In my eyes if anything were to happen here at home then I know where to reach him.

There are times at night, especially on the weekend, where he'll go over to my brothers, out bowling, or just goofing off with my brother or a friend and I'll tell him to just let himself in when he gets home. I go on and do my own thing and just go to bed when I'm ready. Last weekend he went midnight bowling with my sister-in-law and another guy. He didn't get home till 2:30 I think. I don't mind. He knows I'll go do what I want/need to when he's gone. He doesn't have a "curfew" or anything like that. He can do his own thing and I don't have to know every last detail. He still will often call or keep in touch just so I know I have no need to worry.

My biggest worry when I don't know where he is and I'm expecting him home like if he doesn't come home from work until 2 hours after he normally does is that he's had a siezure while driving. He's only had 2 in his life but I fear it. He's a sweetie and makes sure I don't have to worry.

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2kids1headache

I take care of the house. If I'm out, I'm usually out with her.

She doesn't have a phone that she can use at work, which has resulted in a couple of times where she's gone to do something and I've been in the dark, wondering where she is. We usually keep an email intercourse going through the day now. Either way, other than the "side of the road" worries, it's never been a big issue.

Edit: Oh, and not all of us can afford to have a cellular phone.

Cynthetiq

and not all of us want to be that accessible either.

quadro2000

Quadrette and I always keep each other appraised of where we are but we try not to overdo it to the point of obsession. If she goes out on a Friday or Saturday night and I choose to stay home, all I ask is that she give me a general idea of when she might be home, so I don't stay up worrying, and that she give me a call if her plans change. I don't expect her home at a certain time; I just want to be able to sleep and not worry about it.

I always call when I'm going to be late. It's almost always met with groans and whines, but I wouldn't feel right not telling her.

We also make sure to call each other before bed if one of us is not home, so the other knows not to call.

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Charlatan

Don't be an ass... it is just common courtesy to call and say you are running late.

What is it going to take, a minute at most.

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