Bill O'Rights

O.K....Mrs. O'Rights has been on my ass for the better part of last year to get my eyes checked. Now, I've worn glasses for years, but they're mainly for an astigmatism. They just clean up some fuzzy edges. Well, as she's been pointing out to me, my arms seem to be getting shorter all the time. So, since we had some Flex Pay dollars to burn up, last Wednesday, the 31st seemed a good a day as any to get new glasses, as mine are about three years old anyway.

After the eye exam I'm told...I need bifocals. WTF! I'm told that after 40, a lot of people need bifocals. But, I'm just barely over 40...41, to be exact. Where's the love?

So now I guess I need to go shopping for some polyester checked pants with a white belt, and maybe start checking out the 4:00 Early Bird Dinner Specials at Bishop's Buffet? Maybe I'll look into trading my truck in on a Cadillac, or a Lincoln, and drive 20mph under the limit.

Harshaw

Yeah I know the feeling. I had midnight opening night tickets to Lord of The Rings ROTK... I decided I would rather sleep.

But I hear the weather in Florida is great this time of year.

__________________
This too shall pass.

Minx

Hey...you are only as old as you feel!

(At least, that's what I keep telling myself so I don't feel so bad about finding a gray hair.......a gray hair for crying out loud!)

__________________
You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!

absorbentishe

As long as they're not coke bottle glasses, then you can't think you're too old? Right? Sorry about your luck, I'm trying to buy as much time as I can before I need glasses, period. So I feel for ya.

yournamehere

Hey <b>Bill</b> - I know exactly where you're coming from.
It's not that your arms are getting shorter - it's just that the world is getting darker If only there was as much light around as when we were 20, we'd see just fine.

Seriously, though - everyone's eyes change shape as they age, making reading glasses (or more) a certainty for everyone lucky enough to outlive their good eyesight.

I'm at +1.00 reading glasses now (the weakest) but I hate it! You do not suffer alone, my friend.

__________________
If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.

Rodney

It's just the way life is. I'm in my late 40s and I gave in a couple of years ago -- when I went back to college and realized that a lot of the stuff they were giving us to read was in _really tiny type._ Wasn't just me, either, the 22-year-olds were complaining.

The first year, I went for the expensive "blended" bifocals -- no visible line, and the transition between the two lense strengths is a little smoother. This time around I said screw it, not worth the extra hundred bucks, _let_ everybody see the goddamn bifocal line.

Anyway, embrace it. If you wait another 10 years, there'll be a way of fixing it -- a surgical procedure they're already doing in Europe -- but I say, the damn glasses are a whole lot better than surgery.

sexymama

I took your advice and felt myself today, and there is no way I'm 41! Then I took another look in the mirro. You found just one gray hair! Try several. I yank them out as fast as I found them, but more kept appearing. You'd think they'd get the idea -- they are not wanted!

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

sexymama

I took your advice and felt myself today, and there is no way I'm 41! Then I took another look in the mirro. You found just one gray hair! Try several. I yank them out as fast as I found them, but more kept appearing. You'd think they'd get the idea -- they are not wanted!

edit -- and look at this, I'm so old, I can't tell when I click twice anymore

__________________
If you can go deeply into lovemaking, the ego disappears. That is the beauty of lovemaking, that it is another source of a glimpse of god

It's not about being perfect; it's about developing some skill at managing imperfection.

viejo gringo

"age is not a matter of time, but a matter of the mind"---
and I can't remember who said that...but it is true...

As far as the glasses---when I was 35 my work as a tool designer and later as a programmer, forced me to wear bifocals.

Last year I had cataracs removed from both eyes, and after 34 years I can see great and do not wear glasses...ya never know..

Tophat665

Shit! You're OLD! Welcome to the club. I got there in my thirties. No, not bifocals. The goddamn kids today and the noise they listen to!

__________________
Light a man a fire, and he will be warm while it burns.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

Dano069

I feel for ya, but not the glasses part, I've never had them.

My pain is mostly body and muscle aches. Damn creaking old bones.

__________________
I may look attentive, but I'm taking peeks down your blouse faster than the human eye can follow.

Boo

<---- 41, needs glasses......

Gonna live forever.... so far so good.

__________________
Back button again, I must be getting old.

thingstodo

OK, so I used to wear glasses. Got them about 10 or so years ago for sistance. At some point I began taking them off to read. I think that's because I didn't wear them at the office much.

So then I finally get contacts. Guess what, I now need reading glasses if I use the contacts. Supposedly the contacts correct my vision and my eyes can't adjust to reading with them like they can without. Go figure. I can read fine with no vision correction but need the help when vision is correted.

At least I waited until I was 47 to find all this out!

__________________
If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves.

Stangers have the best candy.

Yalaynia

OK so I m only 27. I have a 7 1/2 year old son. But I know the old feeling. When I was younger I was baby sitting for this one woman I knew. I was 14 at the time and her daughter was 9. Its really scarey to think that the little girl I used to baby sit is now 22 and has 2 kids of her own. The oldest is 3 and the youngest one is about 9 months.

__________________
I couldnt think of anything to put here , but I guess anything would do

skysooner

I'm 38 now, and the college freshman were born when I was a sophomore in college. I don't feel particularly old though.

water_boy1999

Bill, I feel ya. I turn 30 this year and am slowly realizing I am not the peppy 2 year old I used to be. I had to shave my goatee off because I spotted 3 greys lurking behing the youthful brown stubble. It's not that I am worried about getting older because I think I am getting better looking with age, I just want to preserve it as long as possible.

__________________
Doh!!!!


-Homer Simpson

laconic1

I tried pulling them out several years ago when I started getting them, but they kept coming, faster and faster! If I still tried to pull them out I'd be practically bald on the sides. I dread turning forty, I still have 15 more years of aging before I get there. I'll probably look seventy by the time I get there.

Bill O'Rights

Ah well, I suppose a little perspective is in order. At 41, I still have all of my my thick wavy hair, and it still (knock formica) has no gray in it, as of yet.

I opted to go the extra hundred bucks and ordered the "no line" bifocals, so it's not like anyone will really be able to tell. It's just the idea that they're "bifocals" that gets me. The chronological addition of the extra number to my age with each passing birthday really doesn't phase me. It's reaching this "milestone" that kind of sucker punched me outta nowhere.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Rodney

Wait'll you get your first piece of junkmail from the AARP! I'm under 50, and it's already arrived.

As for the lack of grey, good for you. Of course if you grow a beard or mustache, there'll be gray all over the place; beard hair's on a different timetable than scalp hair. I know a few guys who jettisoned their beards around age 40; a gray beard makes you look like, well, you're _ready_ for the AARP.

Bill O'Rights

Well...shortly after my 42nd birthday...guess what I found in the mailbox yesterday.

__________________
"I distrust those people who know so well what God wants them to do because I notice it always coincides with their own desires." - Susan B. Anthony

"Hedonism with rules isn't hedonism at all, it's the Republican party." - JumpinJesus

It is indisputable that true beauty lies within...but a nice rack sure doesn't hurt.

Cynthetiq

Somehow I got on the AARP list when I was 21....go figure.

I think that you aren't old until you HAVE to go to dinner at 4pm to catch the early bird.

__________________
I don't care if you are black, white, purple, green, Chinese, Japanese, Korean, hippie, cop, bum, admin, user, English, Irish, French, Catholic, Protestant, Jewish, Buddhist, Muslim, indian, cowboy, tall, short, fat, skinny, emo, punk, mod, rocker, straight, gay, lesbian, jock, nerd, geek, Democrat, Republican, Libertarian, Independent, driver, pedestrian, or bicyclist, either you're an asshole or you're not.

Jesus Pimp

I'm addicted to NPR and fascinated by CSPAN. I'm officially OLD!

__________________
Never date anyone who doesn't make your dick hard.

kulrblind

Haha!
Oh, god... talk-radio in the car. I succumbed to this affliction three years ago (just 31 this year). *cringe*

Next thing you know, I'll be the caller on the line! Geesh.

ShaniFaye

I didnt feel old...until the one day a few months ago I realized that at 35 I couldnt do a round-off back handspring without A. being sore the next day b. my bladder deciding it wasnt going to hold all my beer in when I landed

__________________
I want the diabetic plan that comes with rollover carbs. I dont like the unused one expiring at midnite!!

raeanna74

Ha I've had glasses since I was 6 years old. I hate them but I can't see without them.
I've noticed lately that reading seems to tire my eyes out and my astigmatism seems worse up close. I'm dreading going back to the optomotrist this year. I'm only 30. I've also got a mole INSIDE my eye. I've been told it's common and unless it grows I'm not to worry but. Yikes. I've had dangerous moles changing on my back and removed before they spread. I don't need any of those in my eyes.

__________________
"Always learn the rules so that you can break them properly." Dalai Lama
My Karma just ran over your Dogma.

braindamage351

I've had glasses for a while now, but I actually like them. They don't really hinder much.

Astrocloud

I only feel old when I compare myself to my childhood friends and realize that they all have families and marriages and such. Shit that has elluded me. Now I really am a big kid but I feel old when I realize that I have a lot of catching up to do.

yakimushi

<<< 23 years old (just last weekend), -4.75 contact prescription, I've been wearing corrective lenses since I was 9.

//blind by the time I'm Bill O'Rights age...

unoaman

This is by far my favorite comment in this golden aged thread! Sexymama, when you can't tell when you click twice...you need more that eyeglasses!

I been wearing em since I was about 13, and probably have worn them longer than any of you are old...my eyes are getting better, and need to go get my glasses weakened. Have plenty of little white hairs, but kinda like them...makes me look distinguished, or senile, can't seem to remember which...

Paradise Lost

You guys are weak... I've been addicted to Talk Radio since I was 15...
And seriously, eye-sight almost has nothing to do with age... my buddy wears Bifocals and he's only 20, just the way his eyes are--crappy.

And Jesus_Pimp, I'd rather be addicted to good news organizations like NPR and CSPAN than any of the other 24 news crap floating around the TV.

And just this past Monday, me and my friend (same as above) went to go see our "Music in the Park" -- usually a symphonic type band playing in front of World War II vets. You've all just become enlightened (like me) to stuff at an early age.

__________________
"Marino could do it."

THGL

At 34, no problems with my eyes yet (they're terrible anyway, I wear a -7.00 contact lens), but I have noticed my feet getting sore in the morning. My left foot aches when I get up in the morning and takes a little time to "warm up" to a dull pain. It's not my arch, more towards the outside... maybe a trip to the doc is in order. ???

My wife will be coming into a few $'s in the next couple of months and she mentioned getting laser eye surgery for the both of us. I've delt with glasses/contacts since I was in the 2nd grade... this will take a little to get used to.

Squishor

Hmm, interesting...I don't have kids, marriage and all that but that always makes me feel really young compared to the others I know. After all, I get to go see shows in San Francisco and have spontaneous sex in the kitchen while they're shopping for a new minivan and going to soccer practice.

raven12

My vision has been bad since age 10. I dont even want to think of what it will be when im really old!

Frowning Budah

Hell if your just worrying abt glasses you ain't old yet. You still have to go loosing your hair getting a paunch or several paunches, having to get up twice a night just to pee and having everything ache all the time, before you get to count yourself as old. Aren't you glad you have something to look forward to?

william

I remember talk radio that had stories on Saturday nights. My sight has been limited since 1974 (why else rely on the mental imaginations). Doesn't really matter, as long as the imagination is there.
It's the state of mind.

dumbnutofak

Get a 2nd opinion... LOL. I say this because when I was 18 (Now 20) I was told I needed Bifocals, went to a differnet doc for 2nd opinion and he said first guy was on crack.

__________________
If a little knowledge is dangerous, where is a man who has so much as to be out of danger?

skills1

If you think you are young, you will feel young! =)

combatmedicjen

Hey, my 82-year-old grandmother walks a mile every morning and spends her days drinking bud light on her back lawn (until it starts snowing). She curses like a sailor if you piss her off, and she never hesitates to speak her mind. If that's what I get to do when I get old, then BRING IT!

mike059

Well, I turned 50 this year and I wear trifocals, sometimes I feel old, sometimes I don't. I got my official invite to AARP, that sucked.. Anyway, just felt that I had to speak up, I Think it is fun... I tend not to worry about stuff like I did when I was 25.

bberryt2

OLD?? I am 57 now. Three years to go before I start growing a silver ponytail. I hope to get it down to my waist before I die. Eyesight? I had RK done a few years back. As I age, everything beyond the reach of my arms is fine. Anything closer needs reading glasses. All the pretty girls are usually further than my reach so who cares. AARP? I throw that trash away as soon as I get it. As soon as you open one of their envelopes you start feeling OLD. Don't go there. It is a mental trap. Gray?? No. It is Silver or so my wife tells me. I'll know I'm getting old when they tell me they are going to take away my drivers license because I can't find my way home anymore. Driving 80 won't get you there if you don't know where you are going. If you can't see or hear the navigation system in your car, you are toast. Weight gain?? Quit smoking, start eating right, get a mountain bike and ride it several hours a day, 4 to 6 days a week. Ride it to work if you can. Always ride alone or with younger people. Sex? No one can do now what they could a few years ago. Don't worry about it. If you have to, switch to oral. You can do that forever. If you don't know how, get "SHE COMES FIRST the thinking man's guide to pleasuring a woman" by Ian Kerner, Ph.D. ISBN 0-06-053825-2 Read that and the women will not leave you alone for the rest of your life. I may switch back to hard liquor and smoking a pipe when I'm 90. Whats it going to do: Kill me?


Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well-preserved body but, rather, to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting "...holy shit... what a ride!"