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Old 12-15-2003, 12:34 AM   #1 (permalink)
Professor of Drinkology
 
Leaving College

Tomorrow, I submit my last two projects of my undergraduate career and leave the dorm and campus that has been my home for 4.5 years. I'll be moving home to a loving family.

The thing is, in this time that I understand is supposed to be joyous and exciting, I'm scared and depressed. I'm leaving behind a fraternity of friends and my _home_ to go somewhere where I don't _know_ any other 22 year olds. I grew up in Richmond (Virginia), my hometown, but the thoughts of leaving Macon (Georgia) are almost unbearable. My mother has told me to go to the bookstore tomorrow and buy a framed picture of the campus and anything else I want, but truth be told, that just makes me feel worse.

Its more than a social thing though, and its hard to put to words the genuine sadness and anxiety I feel in leaving this institution. This is neither fun nor exciting.

I don't want to leave my friends and home at all. This sucks.

Any words of encouragement? Generalized advice from those that have been there?
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Old 12-15-2003, 12:34 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Oh yeah, I get to walk away and drive the 10 hours "home" by myself tomorrow...
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Old 12-15-2003, 12:57 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Location: Florida
No wonder you're depressed, you spent all that time making a new life for yourself and meeting new people. Now you're going back to the same old place, which you obviously left for a reason. I can't really emphasize with you not wanting to leave college (I despised it so much I dropped out so I could move on in life), but I know what it's like to get settled in to a place that you're happy with.

Why not stay in Macon? I'd hate to move back to my hometown, too. Hell, merely spending 3 days there for Thanksgiving made me depressed enough that I spent most of my time there drunk, asleep, or talking to friends/coworkers back home.

If you must move back, track down some high school friends who stayed in the area and catch up with them. If you went to college immediately after HS you have a 5-year reunion coming up soon. Seeing some familiar faces should make it more bearable. Good luck.
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Old 12-15-2003, 04:22 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Location: Massachusetts, USA
Grad school. Of course, that'd be better at a different campus than your undergrad years. Things change in life. Good luck.
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Old 12-15-2003, 07:25 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Location: Yonder
Life is change. You're not going back to your old life because you're not the person you were then.

It's always jarring when a transition occurs, but remember that it's just that--a transition. Not an end. Or... not ONLY an end. Also a beginning.
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Old 12-15-2003, 07:52 AM   #6 (permalink)
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new chapters abound in life...

keep working on the today and tomorrow will take care of itself...
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Old 12-15-2003, 08:12 AM   #7 (permalink)
Tilted
 
Location: Texas
You can't be too attached to what you're comfortable with.
If you don't take chances on new experiences you'll wind up never really leaving home. Think of people who go to foreign countries to study, or who go to Washington for internships, or can move across country for a great new job.
It's scary but it pays off big time... and you'll always make new friends.
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Old 12-15-2003, 08:15 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Location: Rich Wannabe Hippie Town
It's pretty common that people who graduate college tend to settle in the same area instead of going back home (if they're from elsewhere), at least for a few years. It may not be too late for you to find some old college buds who are doing that, and share housing with them. Of course, the key ingredient is money, because you'll have to support yourself, and you know better than I whether Macon's economy can do anything for you, or if staying there is compatible with your career goals.

One of college's great attractions is fellowship -- there are people all around, all the time, always something to do. Out of that vast array, it's easy to find kindred spirits -- much easier perhaps than at any other time of life, because you are living _and_ working with these people. So I understand. If you can't stay in Macon, and going home doesn't attract you, perhaps it's best to plan ahead for your new, independent life. You can't just go home and live with your folks like before, not after all you've been through. You're different, and they may not understand; might feel like you're losing your independence. Might be like being told to go back to high school or something (which is a fairly common post-college dream). So if you can't stay in Macon, get off the dime, get a career and get out of the house. I'm not saying this will be easy, or fun, but it really sounds to me like you'll be miserable just going back to your old life.

Personally, in my own post-college life years ago, I stayed around the house a little too long. And it got ugly.
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Old 12-15-2003, 08:45 AM   #9 (permalink)
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Location: Bored in Sacramento
There is really no rule that you have to leave your campus town. My brother will probably end up staying in Eugene where he went to school. You probably know the area fairly well, you could always get a job there and start your life.

I on the other hand am looking forward to getting away from my college town. Sure, it scares the crap out of me... so much so that I have lived here an extra two years after graduation. But I'm pretty sure it is time.

Which ever one you do, just realize that it is a step in your life, so it is going to be kind of scary and depressing.
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Old 12-15-2003, 09:04 AM   #10 (permalink)
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my wife came from Boston to NYU and never left. I went to college in CA, but I hated living there and wanted to go elsewhere and NYC was were it worked for me.

it's where you want to live balanced with were you can find a job earning enough money to live the lifestyle you want to live.
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Old 12-15-2003, 09:59 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Location: Where the wind comes sweeping down the plains, i.e. Oklahoma
Somebody else said and I'll say it as well. Grad school a little extra education never hurt. Good luck you get it. I took the Grad school route about 2.5 extra years, it was fun.
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Old 12-15-2003, 11:38 AM   #12 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cynthetiq
keep working on the today and tomorrow will take care of itself...
couldn't have worded it better. Things will work out one way or another.
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Old 12-15-2003, 12:59 PM   #13 (permalink)
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Location: Oklahoma
Fear is natural. This was a phase of your life. You and your friends are all going to change a bunch in the next couple of years. You will make new friends and have new experiences. You will meet new women, etc. Life is full of changes. You can either hide in fear or embrace it.
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Old 12-16-2003, 04:43 AM   #14 (permalink)
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Its time to start a new chapter in your life. You have many new experiences and things to look foward to. Its sounds like it was a good run, but I am sure you knew this day was coming. What you are about to embark on is a good thing. You worked hard for 4.5 yrs. Now enjoy what you have earned and deserve.
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Old 12-17-2003, 03:15 PM   #15 (permalink)
Junkie
 
I felt the same way about leaving college last week. I was pretty depressed for a few days, but now I'm just looking forward to getting a new job and new start. As far as me staying in my college town Pueblo, Colorado, ugh never.
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Old 12-18-2003, 08:24 AM   #16 (permalink)
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Location: in the backwoods
I remember feeling the same way. I still miss my college days-they sure were fun, but one of the saddest things I've seen were the guys that hung around too long. There comes a point in time that you need to move on. Yes, the next couple of years will probably suck a bit. That's natural. I'd advise you to focus on getting a good-paying job instead of grad school. That will help you make the transition to the next phase of your life quicker, and more fun. Grad school is not fun. Having a good job is.
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Old 12-18-2003, 09:29 AM   #17 (permalink)
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Location: tentative, at best
Graduation isn't an end - it's a beginning.

Sure you'll miss your friends, but as long as there is e-mail, telephones, cars, and airplanes, who's to say you can't still spend time with them?

I think there's always a little apprehension following the achievement of a goal - it's the uncertainty of the future compared to the focused determination you're used to.

Time to set some new goals for yourself, and concentrate on them.

Don't worry - embrace the future - it's where you'll live.
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