Eye Contact - Page 2 - Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community

thingstodo · 12-11-2003, 07:20 PM

Yes, eyes are the window to the soul. It helps connections which helps understanding which completes communication.

phunktastic · 12-11-2003, 08:46 PM

But where is the line between psychotic staring and conversation enhancing eye contact? Are you really supposed to look into their eyes throughout the entire conversation? I don't think I've ever done that.

kurty[B] · 12-11-2003, 09:15 PM

It's not like I stare. Just make sure that eye contact is there, and I always return back to the eyes in conversation. Yes, my eyes will wander, but always return to the focal point of the person's eyes I'm talking to.

lightning · 12-15-2003, 08:01 AM

Eye contact is the best way to truly listen to another person, and it helps the connection.

However, there is a side effect. Eye contact also shows assertive/aggressive intentions. When prolonged eye contact is made it's like walking straight at someone, they will keep waiting for you to stop and this gives you the upper hand in many situations.

A great equalizer.

ratbastid · 12-15-2003, 09:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by InTeGrA77
I mean, you don't HAVE to look at a person when you talk to them...you don't hear with your eyes!

Actually, you do. Or, more accurately, without eye contact, you're not REALLY listening. You're listening to yourself analyzing and assessing what you're hearing. That's not listening.

imperfect_anya · 12-19-2003, 01:01 AM

I am a huge fan of eye contact! but not of staring. First and foremost, eye contact is a good thing, but in some cases there are people that think you can only be in conversation while looking at them. Children are a very large part of this group, they demand to be looked at while they are speaking or else they think you don't hear them. I think that this idea is carried over into adulthood but is fully utilized by taking notice of the expressions in their eyes.

hobo · 12-19-2003, 09:45 PM

I usually have a hard time making eye contact too. Eye contact is much more personal so you can connect better with people you are talking to if you make eye contact. That is why it is especially important at interviews. To get better at it, just practice on a friend, try to make more eye contact while talking about anything.

telekinetic2 · 12-19-2003, 10:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ratbastid
This isn't something you can "fake" by learning tricks about maintaining eye contact. What people will get is, "Oh. He's trying to really relate to me." They're not left with the relatedness, they're left with you trying.

My mom works with autistic children, and both autistic children and adults have to be taught to make eye contact, and taught how much is appropriate (most people are comfortable if eye contact is made near 1/3 of a 1-on-1 conversation for no more than a certain length at a time). So I think it can be taught or learned. Try googling autistic eye contact for info on that...

Ho-train · 12-21-2003, 02:32 PM

Just a few days ago i was at a mall, eating in the food court by myself. So naturally i was just scoping the scene, checking out any cute girls who walked by. Then my focus turned to this middle aged couple, who weren't particularly attractive.

The thing that caught my eye about this couple was the fact that they were both sitting at a food court table, with no food infront of them. They were just staring intensly at eachother, not speaking a single word. This went on for the entire duration of my Wendy's #2 with cheese meal, about 10 minutes. I was catching some sort of vibe from these people, maybe they noticed me sort of staring at them, but they still didn't break eye contact with eachother. It was honestly one of the stranger things ive seen. It was almost like they were in their own little bubble, and all the other chaos going on around them didnt matter. I guess it was love?

Who knows? All i know is that im sure they were staring deep into eachothers souls, and probably weren't very appreciative of me staring at them in wonder.

12-11-2003, 07:20 PM	#41 (permalink)
thingstodo A Storm Is Coming Location: The Great White North	Yes, eyes are the window to the soul. It helps connections which helps understanding which completes communication. __________________ If you're wringing your hands you can't roll up your shirt sleeves. Stangers have the best candy.

12-11-2003, 08:46 PM	#42 (permalink)
phunktastic Insane Location: Dayton, Ohio	But where is the line between psychotic staring and conversation enhancing eye contact? Are you really supposed to look into their eyes throughout the entire conversation? I don't think I've ever done that. __________________ "Relax, the world will spin beside itself and suck you in. With threats and hopes beyond compare"

12-19-2003, 01:01 AM	#46 (permalink)
imperfect_anya Upright Location: nowherespecial, ca	I am a huge fan of eye contact! but not of staring. First and foremost, eye contact is a good thing, but in some cases there are people that think you can only be in conversation while looking at them. Children are a very large part of this group, they demand to be looked at while they are speaking or else they think you don't hear them. I think that this idea is carried over into adulthood but is fully utilized by taking notice of the expressions in their eyes. __________________ Do you want me to tell you the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?

12-21-2003, 02:32 PM	#49 (permalink)
Ho-train Crazy Location: The Big Apple, NY	Just a few days ago i was at a mall, eating in the food court by myself. So naturally i was just scoping the scene, checking out any cute girls who walked by. Then my focus turned to this middle aged couple, who weren't particularly attractive. The thing that caught my eye about this couple was the fact that they were both sitting at a food court table, with no food infront of them. They were just staring intensly at eachother, not speaking a single word. This went on for the entire duration of my Wendy's #2 with cheese meal, about 10 minutes. I was catching some sort of vibe from these people, maybe they noticed me sort of staring at them, but they still didn't break eye contact with eachother. It was honestly one of the stranger things ive seen. It was almost like they were in their own little bubble, and all the other chaos going on around them didnt matter. I guess it was love? Who knows? All i know is that im sure they were staring deep into eachothers souls, and probably weren't very appreciative of me staring at them in wonder. __________________ And for our next topic...The Clitoris! Nature's rubix cube... Last edited by Ho-train; 12-21-2003 at 02:35 PM..

12-11-2003, 09:15 PM	#43 (permalink)
kurty[B] Sauce Puppet	It's not like I stare. Just make sure that eye contact is there, and I always return back to the eyes in conversation. Yes, my eyes will wander, but always return to the focal point of the person's eyes I'm talking to.

12-15-2003, 08:01 AM	#44 (permalink)
lightning Tilted Location: Texas	Eye contact is the best way to truly listen to another person, and it helps the connection. However, there is a side effect. Eye contact also shows assertive/aggressive intentions. When prolonged eye contact is made it's like walking straight at someone, they will keep waiting for you to stop and this gives you the upper hand in many situations. A great equalizer.

12-19-2003, 09:45 PM	#47 (permalink)
hobo Archangel of Change	I usually have a hard time making eye contact too. Eye contact is much more personal so you can connect better with people you are talking to if you make eye contact. That is why it is especially important at interviews. To get better at it, just practice on a friend, try to make more eye contact while talking about anything.