The real me
 

After re-reading a number of my post I think maybe I sometimes come off as angry or depressed. Which is true from time to time but in reality I am a pretty happy and nothing bugs me too much. I am just wondering do we tend to let our darker sides out more in an anonymous form like TFP?

I probably come off angry and depressed too, but I think it is probably more of a product of me being ineffective at conveying what I'm thinking in words, rather than a conscientious attempt to be dark here.

Yes.


I know I do. It's a place that we can express feelings and emotions that we have to hide in the normal non-cyber world. That's why it ends up being a drug of sorts for most of us.

We get our fix of sin.

here, I am how I am. If theres a subject where dark things are expressed, I will join in. By the same way, if there is a subject of light, I will also join in.

It seems that on an anonymous place such as this we tend to talk more about the bad and celebrate the good even less, hence the negative connotation.

Another distinction is that on the forum you act more like you think in your mind, and less like you act in the real world. This is your brain talking, not your body expressing.

I know I really havent answered the question with the second statement, and that was intentional. There is both positive and negative here, it is simply up to you to search each out and make the decision for yourself.

This is a very telling and thought-provoking thread.
The responses have been very much to the point and on the mark. There's something significant about this, I think.

I'm hoping you would give us more of what you think on this. You always seem to have the right answer... and always said in the right way.

Anyone who picks a scene from "metropolis" as their avatar can't be all that bad :)

Luckily for me, I don't have enough of a presence here for people to form an opinion but I would like to be liked and not hated or ignored.

Well, WK. My first instinct was to say that I agree 100% with your statement and others who've said essentially the same thing.
I was also going to add something about that first impulse not necessarily being the best way to proceed.
I didn't want to sound critical, so I didn't follow that tack.

My thoughts are along the lines of how it is somewhat dehumanizing to follow one's initial instinct and treat the online world/community as a sort of whipping boy for one's id. And that it is more worthwhile to stifle that impulse and work harder to humanize the situation and use this type of place as a forum for moving toward more positive interactions.

Sometimes though, when I type this sort of thing in here, it seems to have a problematic effect. And since what I see happening is folks who stay long enough do eventually turn their initial inclinations around anyway.

I didn't want to "jinx" what seems to happen naturally by pointing it out.

(I hope I didn't burst the bubble by saying this. But you did ask and I thought I'd respond.)

Thanks...

Actually, I was thinking of starting a thread called something like "How anonymous is TFP?" but I'm not sure which forum to post it. It would either be this one (Tilted Living) or Tilted Sexuality, since it's really our deep sexuality we have most to hide from each other.

What does this have to do with this thread? Well, someone suggested that the anonymity of TFP allows us to talk about things we wouldn't otherwise and this is true, up to a point...

for me it depends how intoxicated i am when posting. the more pot i smoke the less honest i get and the more drunk the more honest i am. trouble with me is you can never really tell which you are getting.

p.s.
drunk now.

Wow, I was going to post how you all sounded angry and depressed, until I got to Artelevision's posts. But I think for my self, I have gotten a little better at not attacking on the internet and instead thinking about what I write about. I also have the chance to talk about ideas with people who differ from me on a wide variety of topics. I think sometimes I come off as heavy-handed when I debate with people, and I am trying to learn to debate without attacking. Maybe George Bush, Bill O'Rielly, Michael Moore, Arafat, and bin Laden should all join the TFP.

Most people who meet me in real life in comparison to here,
say I'm just like they thought I'd be like.

However, I will admit...most don't see the sad side of me.
I choose not to subject others to that,
one, because it is private
two, because it is negative.
three, most wouldn't really understand or appreciate my sadness.

This is not a emotion that others truly are wanting to be empathic about,
because it a "downer" and two...your desires are your own,
and they really can't do anything about it.

Everything else...I'm upfront & honest about...no need to hide
And I try to type like I talk.

rogue, I give you a lot of credit for just that.

we all have our own boat anchors dragging along beneath our wakes. the fact that you are cognizant of emphasizing the positive aspects of your public expression is something that will always get you respect from the likes of me.

even when two ships pass in the deepest darkest night - their captains may salute each other. in the end, that's what tames the savage sea...

I am fairly similar both online and in reality, though I express myself differently in the different mediums. I won't say that I express myself better in one than the other, because I don't think that's true. Online, I generally have time to reword my thoughts for clear expression. Outside the computer, I have tone, inflection, and body motions to add nuances to my statements.

That doesn't answer the question, does it? I don't think I'm as silly online as I am offline. I'm very silly offline. Very silly.

I know i come off a angry


but there is a lot of truth to that

genrally in real life i go with a i wont tell you what i think if you dont ask policy


people get so mad when they ask and i give my honest opioin

im pretty sure most people do. There is the comfort of being anonymous along with the fact that usually you post RIGHT after you see something which means your sharing your first reaction. Although it may not be exactly what you wanted to say.

Well, being a self-proclaimed "Bitter Cynic", I would suppose that my cynicism pervades my posts. Of course, it's impossible to be cynical (or bitter) about everything, and each post can be an indicator of my mood at the time. Sometimes I probably even surprise a few people with a complimentary or optimistic lapse. Even my dark side is only half-serious, though - it's too much effort to purposely bring others down. If it were all that bad, I'd just bottle it up inside. :|

Me on tfp is how I am in real life. I am usually in a depressed, sad, angry, or generally blah mood because I am not happy with the curve balls life has thrown me over the past couple of months.

When life turns around, I am sure my mood will pick up around here. Until then, you gotta deal with me this way.

I tend to come off as bitter. In fact they call me Bitter Chris at work to differentuate me from the other Chris I work with. I tend to use small rants to blow off steam right away instead of keeping it stewing for a while. I use the TFP at times to rant ergo bitterness . when not ranting I like to think I'm a fun guy!

I'm probably a bit more cold/bitter in real life unless I'm with a person I really enjoy being with, and or have been drinking. TFP is the place I go to get away from all the crap I deal with on a daily basis, as well as the place I come to when I need advice on how to deal with some of these problems, or polish the turd so to speak.

read my journal... you'll see the real me first hand

I just realized the irony...

Frowning buddah - you started this, and said that you are usually "quite happy"... but your nick is frowning buddah...

took me a while.. but.... maybe a better choice would have been happybuddah...

either way, if you read someones posts for long enough (and esp their journal), I think you can make a reasonable guess as to who they are.

I am a much more positive person online than I am IRL. I figure my RL sucks so why drag down my virtual persona with whining and crying no one wants to hear anyway? In this world I have no stress, no job, no money, etc etc. I have no reason to be down and depressed here, so I'm not. I don't like somebody there's always ignore. I want my online friends at a distance I can be "away". It's a great catalyst to an otherwise boring and unproductive life.

/whine.

Indeed, sometimes it's difficult TO LEARN HOW TO EXPRESS YOURSELF PROPERLY WHEN USING TEXT. ;) I have a hard time with that, occasionally.

I think people come here with a lot of different reasons to type their thoughts, but it seems it falls into two categories: the realists and the escapists. I would guess that the realists want to talk about what is real to them and use any means to do so especially the rant format in order to be heard.
The escapists are looking for diversion and fun. In that sense they would tend to be more operating out of some facet of their personality rather than what you read is what you get. Simply put, they allow themselves to express some part of themselves that might not otherwise come out in a real meat-space social situation.
Where do I fit in here? I suppose I am the realist without the rant. I find it too much trouble to create personas just to pretend to be someone else ( I did enjoy creating alternate selves in performance art, however) and if I don't want someone to know something about me then I just don't go there.

Sometimes I will be straightfoward, saucy, or sarcastic, but never mean anything offensive by it. It's just usually that time of the month!

I think my online persona is simply an amplified me. If I'm in a good mood in real life, I'm in a wonderful mood online, and same goes for the bad. Because there are no repercussions (well, maybe a few) for being anything or anybody you want online, I tend toward the extreme, exploring my darkest desires and letting my anger and laughter flow. There are no checks and balances here, like there are in the real world, nothing physical to stop you from expressing yourself, no fear of retribution. That's why people feel comfortable talking to complete strangers in chat rooms, but don't even know their nighbors first name.

My fear is that maybe I might come off sounded snooty. Not sure why. I just sometimes look back at a post and it sounds that way to me when rereading it. I hope that's not what comes across. I love education and learning. That's mostly what I come here for. In my journal I vent. So often it's negative. Often I'll say thing in my journal that I don't talk about simply because it's a "listening ear" and I don't really want to subject my living family to that. I figure people have the choice to read me journal or not. If it's getting them down then they are free to "turn it off" unlike my family when I vent to them. Or like my mother who I just offended today by briefly venting to her. Grrr. I didn't intend it that way at all but she inevitable takes it that way. Here I don't get that kind of response. Sometimes someone may take offense but I can listen or not and no one gets on my case about afterwards. People I live and interact with will carry a grudge if I offend them when venting. So yes I talk about negatives. I try not to dwell on them often though because the more I dwell on them the more they get to me.

I seem to have the opposite effect .. I'm never all that angry/depressed or whatever on the internet. I just sort of say what I'm feeling, and thankfully .. I'm one of the few lucky people who are generally happy all the time.

I tend to post humorous comments, with an occasional serious one, I display myself as I am but of course a string of 1's and 0's will never be able to define who I am as a person.

I think that each and every one of us...myself included.... contributes what we need to this place.

After all, one of the stated purposes of TFP is the "evolution" of humanity. And sometimes you can't do that without letting the emotional "baggage" out into the daylight.

I try to keep this in mind as I'm reading other people's threads and Journals...and I absolutely have it at the forefront of my brain when I'm writing....So I can say that the one thing I see as a generality is that peoples' entries will cycle back and forth - from cheery to depressed, from giddy to dismal. But the overall view is one of growth.

I am me -- on-line and off. I'm happy with me. Sometimes I put my foot in my mouth -- or type my foot in my mouth -- but I learn in the process and am a better person for being true to myself. Tfp is a safe place to be and I've never worried about speaking my truth - which just "is." It is neither positive, nor negative -- it just "is."

I don't think I come close to showing the fullness of who I am on TFP. I think that I show that I'm thoughtful here, thought that may be it. I am known for my sense of humor, my deep sense of passion, caring, and consistency in being a good friend. I am an intimate person, and yet I don't know how to do that online when addressing thread topics. I can give information, but the deep burning emotions behind that information gets washed out I would imagine.

Additionally, on a daily basis I start to reply to anywhere between 5-10 threads at least and stop myself because I can't focus the words how I want. Either too much emotion is coming through, or I don't want to get in an argument or something.

I'm not sure how much of me really gets through. I tend to feel like I'm a ghost here in the eyes of most people, but a few. Just drifting in and out of threads. Some people really know how to share themselves, and they're well known by everyone. To say the least, this is pragmatic for me.

I would tend to agree, except, depending on how I feel I might fall into either category. I know I tend to lurk or write short flippant responses when I am just out for the entertainment value.

i believe this is definitly a place where u can let your inner feelings out, becuase your more annoymous. im somwhat new, buy im understanding that already...