frankx

I spent a more years than I care to admit feeling like Sledge does. After many years of internal struggle, I am now quite comfortable in my decision not to have children. As said previously in many of the above posts, raising children is very difficult and trying. While I definitely do not believe that everyone is meant to be a parent, I applaud anyone who can do it successfully, especially in this day and age.

Sledge, I don't think that you are "broken" at all, I think that you may be coming to terms with the ultimate truth that many people in this society don't want to admit to - that it's OK not to want kids.

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la petite moi

I definitely do not want children. I think they're cute and all to hug and snuggle...for a few hours. But after awhile, they just get tiring. Also, after having an abused childhood, I REALLY don't wanna end up like my mother (though I'm not really a violent person- I just yell a lot).

dirttrackcutie

kids are dumb!

:::OshnSoul:::

Holding on to the past and fearing the future isn't the way to go about it. I never thought of having a child......until I did unexpectedly. I would never change the experience and the indescribable love for anything. It is your choice, not trying to change your mind, but.....what if an unexpected pregnancy happened? Would you do anything to bear & raise that child so you can experience that love? There is nothing else like it. It's hard work, but more glory and joy comes out of it than anything.


I have to laugh because, you were one once, as we all were-
and also, many adults aren't so bright either.
The child is the pure essence of life born into our hands.
Children are then raised by what their parents and other adults around them teach them. It's all in a matter of perception.

shakran

No, that's not selfish. Selfish is taking for yourself with no regard for the wants/needs of others.

A child that hasn't even been conceived yet cannot have wants or needs , so deciding not to have a child no matter what the reason is not selfish at all.


Little example. Two people decide that, while they would like to keep all their money to buy fun stuff with, it would be selfish of them not to have a child. So they do. And the child ends up costing them well over half a million dollars by the time he leaves. Rather than buying the stuff the parents want, they're stuck buying the basics, and toys for the kids. They wind up resenting the kid, because they never wanted one really in the first place but society told them it would be selfish not to have one. Obviously, the kid will pick up on these vibes, and how do you think he'll feel?

If you don't wanna have kids, that's great. It's not like we need more of them. Our population is in no danger of dropping too low. It's not a species survival issue here. We are populous enough that we now have the luxury of making the choice whether or not to have children. Let's use that ability instead of blindly running around droning "must have child. must have child."

/rant

moonstrucksoul

i wanted to run an experiment, to see if i could raise the perfect human being, i am off to a good start- my kids are already perfect.

theare an extension of your own life. wouldn't it be nice to be able to give a child the things in life that you did not have as a child.

yellowgowild

yeah, your defininition of perfect.

:::OshnSoul:::

^^^perfection in defined differently in everyone's eyes and minds, yes. But you won't know that perfection he speaks of until you have one.
But, can't we think that children are perfect when they are born and that how they are raised can affect that pure, innocent, raw perfection of a child? If you truly feel and do everything possible to make sure you are raising your child to be healthy and happy- even if you make a few mistakes here and there- and you love and care for that child more than anything....that you have succeeded in being a parent.
That is what moonstrucksoul is saying. We both "experimented" together, with all our devotion, love, patience and compassion. And the connection with our children is the best imaginable feeling in the world.
yellowgowild and everyone else who wish not to have kids- in no way do i want to convice you to wanting to have kids, i can't do that anyways, it's not in my hands- it's your choice. However, sharing my experience can never be emphasized enough. To everyone who has not had a child yet (even speaking of myself before having my son) is that your perceptions of children and the relationship, values, benefits, joy, love, and experience with them will never match up to experience of actually having one. It's unconditional and immeasurable.