Sleepyjack

First off, this is kinda long, sorry.

Anyway, I find this really interesting. To coincide with a month to go until my birthday, i started writing this thread yesterday. However, while i was still musing some ideas of my post, i came across this posted by diddagirl. On a side note, i must admit, like most other guys, i sometimes read stuff in the ladies lounge
I had written most of what is below before i read the post, and i decided not to post it in the end. Although i ended up saving it anyway (in a word doc) in case i wanted to review it later for my own humour/amusement/interest. Although i found it quite coincidental that i read such a post just when i was writing something quite similar about my own confusion.

Anyway, below is what i had written yesterday

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At the moment i am in a delicate balance in my life. Although i guess it is quite superficial, in that i am 19 ( a teenager) and will turn 20 (an adult) in december. I am also a little scared by this, for some reason? mainly cause my friends just say it sucks to be 20. I know that on the eve of the birthday and then my birthday, i will be the same (hopefully ) but i am still scared nevertheless, but it's just a number! or is it?

I know it isn't right or true to quantify maturity by our age, but a lot of the time, in justifying my actions and thinking about what i've done, my age always comes into play. eg, i shouldn't do such and such because i am this age or it's alright do that cause i am this age etc

This seems to happen a lot as well. Mainly i remember it in high school, although i guess that's where the largest amount of change can occur over such a short time due to puberty etc.
eg "you're seniors now, you shouldn't be doing that!. I expect better of you" etc

This also seems (to me) to happen here as well. Although there's only a difference of 1 year, as a means of perception and expectation of what you should be doing at this age (20) seems different to a teenager. Whereas, 19, you're still a teenager so it doesn't matter and you sorta get lumped with 16-19 year olds. I guess it's softened a little, cause little is changing in my life, other than my age. In that, i am going to uni for another year, so i don't feel like i need to change anything drastically in order to make me feel like 20 or anything. So for the minute all i am concerned with is the dreaded number.....

I imagine quite a few people may feel something like this, when they turn over a decade (ie 29-30, 39-40 etc) as you suddenly have a new expectation of how you should be more mature or another expectation of where your life should be at, cause you're this age, even though you may not be.

This may sound superfluous, but i can't help think about my age and what may be appropriate things to do now, by seeing where other people my age are at or sometimes what "society" at a whole generally expects someone my age to be at, in some term of maturity. This is interesting, cause i normally couldn't care less about what other people think about me, or conform to norms in society. Although this seems to be an exception/anomaly, although it's generally just a natural part of evolution. And i guess we all evolve differently, so it shouldn't matter so much.

My main question is how important do you see age as, in defining where you should be at in life. There is some degree of expectation, too often i am hearing stuff like you're so old so you should or shouldn't be doing this and that.
Sometimes you start questioning yourself, like should i still be living at home, now i am so old.
Should i stop watching some stupid tv show cause i am this old.
Should i take more interest in politics or soemthing cause i am this old.
should i... and so on
so many questions i keep asking myself.......


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In that "20somethings" post i learnt some valuable information that really helped me get over my main problem. Sometimes in times of confusion i can't really see the simple things and i analyse stuff so much. Although it was put simply:
My advice to you sleepyjack is enjoy the present and your youth....dont try and hang on to it and deny the inevitable...just enjoy what is now- pure and simple.

For the most part, the 20 is just a number, it doesn't mean much to me as a person anyway. I am who i am and when i am, i shouldn't try to be anything else.

somehow i had forgotten all of that?
worrying and fretting too much and now i am at ease. Especially after listen to some apt music as well!

That said, in order to validate this a post where others can input etc, what do you think about how your age defines you or what it means to you? how important is it to you?

ok, i think that's it

also, sorry for the discontinutiy and such in the writing, thats sorta how i think

Cynthetiq

age. I'm about to turn 35.... and I wouldn't trade anything at all to be younger. I love the experiences I've had... sometimes I wonder if some of the crazy things I've been doing lately are just that "mid-life crisis" or need to be "feeling my oats."

Age it doesn't mean anything. I am older than most yet youthful in my thoughts. When I was younger, I was older than most older people in my maturity and experiences.

It's just a number.

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bermuDa

how old you act is more important than how old you are. Getting older is nothing to fear, cause you're aging all the time. birthdays are inevitable; embrace them!

and have a pint on me

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tecoyah

age is relevent only to experience....I have met people of middle age with childlike mentalities, as well as teenagers with wisdom far beyond the years of thier bodies...I guess my criteria is based more on the soul age rather than the body.

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ratbastid

Age is just a concept. I've been older than my years all my life... except now, when I'm younger than my years.

One thing's for sure: you are exactly as old as you are. Try and fight THAT, and you're in for a world of hurt. Not that it'd be bad for your plastic surgeon's boat payments....

Dano069

I agree, age is just another number. I'll be 42 in February. Not a big deal really. I'm just another year older, but non the wiser.

Although I wish I could go back to my younger days, it's not so much that I liked that age. It's more that I'd like to make some different decisions.

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Atomsk

i'm only 2 days out from turning 26 i've just been dropped like a sac of bricks by my girl of 4 years for no other reason than she wanted to go back to japan. even though we were planning on getting married soon. so the end result is i'm starting to try and live my life again as a 26 year old and getting used to what thats suppose to mean.

from what i can tell age is all bullshit. i've seen people older than me act like children and people younger than me act like old grandma's. there isn't much you can do but act how you feel to act. if your age attempts to waylay via social pressure from this fucked up society we live in i say buck that shit. "do what you will" is my motto. i just make it a point not to hurt anyone along my way. unfortunatly other people rarely follow that little footnote (LOL you can tell I'M not bitter)

Rodney

I'm 48, and here's the deal. Past a certain point, you don't actually feel any older, mentally. My mom's 80, and she still acts like she always did (maybe a little more cranky), and doesn't think of herself as 80, mentally. About 20 years ago, a guy of 50 was telling me about his life, and he said that he still felt exactly the same way he did when he was 18. There's really a lot of that going around. The bod gets fatter and creakier, but the mind still thinks it's 20-something. If you were to ask me how old I was and told me not to think before I answered, I would say "26." That's how old I feel.

That said, things can get better as you get older, providing you're somewhat self-aware. My teens were hell, my 20s were clueless, my 30s were not bad, and now in my 40s I actually feel like I have a handle on life -- what I really want vs. what people expect of me, an image of myself that is not dependent on the opinions of others, plus of course a partner, house, and other goodies. And also a waistline that's six inches larger than it used to be, but there you go.

I've recently returned to university, to a master's in education program full of young student teachers. And I have to say, from my perspective, there isn't that much difference between 18 and 21 -- or in some cases, 25. I know when you're down in that age bracket, the differences seem greater. But from this perspective, the difference is like being either on level 2 or level 4 of a 40-level game. The guy on level 4 is twice as high as the level 2 guy -- but in perspective of how far there is go, the difference is minimal.

Shyla Loral

I think experience defines age, and that chronological age doesn't mean much. I'm 34 and meff is 19. Sometimes I'm less mature than he is, and vice versa. I love being in my 30's, I wouldn't want to repeat the mistakes I made when I was younger. I look good and feel healthier than I ever have, and I think that's because I am in my very first nonabusive relationship A lot of people are shocked by the age difference, but it doesn't matter to us, we know in our hearts that we were meant for each other.

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Meff r0x

Minx

Age is a number....it's not how you feel or how smart you are or what your experiences have been.
I know some people in their 20's who are far more intelligent and "older" than some 30 year olds I know.
We have all been on this world for "x" number of years....some more - some less. That doesn't necessarily make the ones that have been here longer any wiser than the rest....nor does it make them any less likely to goof off and just have fun!
I go by how I feel...not how old I am. My grandfather died at age 103 and up until his late 80's I swear that he had more energy than I did!
It's all in the head and how you perceive it. More importantly, it's all in how you feel!

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WarWagon

I wish age had less significance than it actually does. No driving until you're at least 16, no travelling alone on airplanes (current regulations) until your 18, same goes for all medical information, financial information, etc. which requires parental consent, no alcohol until you're 21.

Age in theory to me is pretty meaningless, its the constraints applied to its numerical values that is the downside.

Supple Cow

As much as age is _not_ a measure of maturity, success, etc., there is a distinct feeling that comes with every age that is different for everybody. For me, knowing my age has served two important functions: 1) once a year, it gives me the opportunity to re-evaluate various parts of my life by making all the folks around me ask, "does it feel any different being X years old?"--a simple, yet catalytic question; and 2) sometimes it's easier to keep track of events in my life by knowing how old I was when they happened rather than in what year they happened. On another note, while some may take it too seriously and try to adopt certain behaviors that they feel are mandated by their age, it can be a useful (when not self-destructive) tool for giving us perspective--ie. at the age of five, Mozart was composing music, I was reading at a 1st grade level, and my brother was eating play-doh.

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:::OshnSoul:::

defying age is impossible. I tell my mom all the time whenever she talks about her age, that "with age comes wisdom- and you're the wisest I know."
She hits me kiddingly, but she knows what I mean.
You are here to experience- age is just digits to define your life existance on earth.
Hey- imagine how confused you would be if you were a leap-year baby??? lol- It doesn't matter. Enjoy 20........then enjoy 21.....and 22....and so on...............

analog

I'm a 22 year-old body toting around a 13 or 14 (maybe more like 11 or 12, depending on who you talk to ) year-old mind. I always have fun no matter where I am, but within the bounds that are defined for each circumstance. I have the maturity to act appropriately when the time is needed, but that was instilled by my wonderful parents, not age. I can have fun and joke and not worry about what people think. I plan on being a big kid all my life. It keeps life fun.

P.S.- the biggest reason 20 sucks is because you're no longer a teenager. You will feel it, trust me. You'll be doing something or sitting somewhere, and you'll suddenly snap and think to yourself, "im not a teenager anymore...FUCK....."

It's not all bad, though. When you hit 21 (here in the US) you can drink, so that's a cool age... but then you hit 22 and got nothing again. lol don't stress, take this in stride.

isis

Some people tell me I act wiser than my years, other say I look older then what I actually am.

My body also acts like an old woman's, I tried to stand at a concert tonight for 2 hours and my back got sore..

I just wanna be young ;D

Crazy/Beautiful

I wanna be 5 yrs old again. I had so much fun and loved Christmas and Barbies. My world was complete. Then I hit pubertry

irseg

The big thing that sucks about being 20 is how you are SO CLOSE to the drinking age but not quite there yet.

Another age that pissed me off was 16. I was deemed responsible and capable enough to drive. But I could not get into an R-rated movie without an adult chaperone.

So basically I was old enough to drive anywhere I wanted in any passenger vehicle of my choosing (even a 6000 pound Excurison!) even though it requires experience and skill, and puts the lives of yourself and others at risk if you screw up. But I was deemed young enough that if I saw a scary movie, I might get emotionally scarred and have nightmares or wet the bed or something. WTF?!

absorbentishe

I don't know, but the only difference I feel between 23, and now 33, are the amount of responsiblities. I still act like I used to, but I know that I can't do some of the things I did then. No more back flips or and anything that could hurt me and put me out of work for a bit, since I have to be responsible. Age is just a number, no move along, sorry to be so winded.

Sleepyjack

Fortunatley i've already gone through that, cause the drinking age is 18 here. Although i have actually been drinking for about 5 years now, more regulary now though, so that wasn't really a big deal at all for my 20th

yes that would be good. Kids generally have no real problems and are so care free....

DogmaMa

Synthetiq said, Its been the same with me, I could read fluently at two and was always more mature than my peers. Now I'm 31 and get I.D.'d every time I try to buy alchohol...people think I'm 20~! I guess that's a good thing!

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raeanna74

I think the difference is not your age but your sense of responsibility and your plans for your life. Right now I wish I was in a better place financially than we are. Most of the people we grew up around who are our age seem to have established themselves in that sense while we still feel a little in limbo. Part of that is simply because of some difficult times we've run into. I had a kid and my work refused to renew my contract for another year because they didn't want "parents" working for them (I coulda sued them but didn't want to deal with the hassle myself). Then a year later hubby had a serious accident that put him out of work for 6 months and us behind financially years. We're just recovering from some of that and so had a slower start than others.

I get carded still when I buy alchohol (29). Makes me glad that I look young enough. I still enjoy "young" pursuits but because of certain responsibilities that I have or preceve are there I don't do as much. I'm able as good health wise as when I was 29. Age is just a number. I lived at home when I wasn't off at college until I was 24 but I was still working toward building my future. When you stop working to improve yourself or progress is when your age starts to be an issue. My Grandpa still takes courses or helps friends of his or works on his golfing skills. He's 88 and looks barely 65 or 70.

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