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-   -   Why do I always feel hurt when people are busy? (https://thetfp.com/tfp/tilted-life/31120-why-do-i-always-feel-hurt-when-people-busy.html)

Jesus Pimp 10-11-2003 10:29 AM

Why do I always feel hurt when people are busy?
 
I understand people have their own lives and get busy sometimes. But why is that I feel hurt, when my friends or even my gf say they're too busy to talk to me or hang out. When I'm busy I make an effort to get back to my friends. Am I craving too much attention? How do I deal?

lurkette 10-11-2003 10:34 AM

Realize that it's not about you.

If they're not making an effort to get back to you, and you suspect that there's something other than just being busy behind it, just ask them. Ask if you've offended them or if there's something you're doing that bugs them.

But mostly, I'd suspect it's just that people really are busy and not everyone is terribly conscientious about how their actions affect other peoples' feelings.

Kyo 10-11-2003 11:48 AM

Re: Why do I always feel hurt when people are busy?
 
Quote:

Originally posted by Jesus Pimp
I understand people have their own lives and get busy sometimes.
I don't think you really do, otherwise you wouldn't be hurt. My opinion is that you are too sensitive, taking things like this personally. People often don't have the time or simply aren't in the mood to deal with others. Find something to do alone, or go make yourself useful.

Rubyee 10-11-2003 04:49 PM

It happens. People have so many things to do that they simply don't have time for socializing. I know that with me, I get home from work at night and feel like sitting in front of the tv or a good book and just being left alone.

You may want to start making future plans, instead of doing everything "spur of the moment."

sexymama 10-11-2003 06:39 PM

Why not try asking your gf (and maybe your closest friends) when they can get back to you? Especially with your gf it seems fair to say something like, "I was really looking forward to time with you -- do you think you could call me back when you are done? (or in an hour?) Or, when she isn't busy, have a conversation to explain to her how you desire time with her and that you understand her being busy; but that you would feel better if you knew when you could call back or when she would call you back.

In-the-meantime, know this isn't about you. We have very busy lives and "putting off those we love" is one of the by products.

Oh, another idea is to get involved in what she is doing so that you can be included more.

yellowgowild 10-12-2003 09:34 AM

The spanish have a saying, "hace falta tener cojones."

Doos 10-14-2003 06:10 AM

Get busy yourself and then you can ignore them. :cool:

BentNotTwisted 10-14-2003 07:23 PM

Do you have unrealistic expectations of their time? How far in advance do you try to make plans? You need to be understanding if you have a few hours to kill and you call someone and they are busy. That's life. If you expect others to consistently drop what they are doing in an instant and make time for you, you will lead a very disappointing life. If you try to make plans days or weeks in advance and you still can't get the time of day from friends/gf then it's time to move on and find new friends.
On the other hand, you shouldn't be so quick to stop what you are doing and accomodate friends just because they call. Relationships are a two way street. If a friend expects you to drop what you are doing with only a moments notice and won't do the same for you, then it's time to reassess the freindship and see if you are being taken advantage of.


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